Authors Note: If you've seen the movie Atonement, this story is loosely inspired by the ending. If you're not familiar with the movie, just know that this story is going to hurt.
(This is for Juliete, who gave me the idea one day and we've both been asking ourselves what the hell is wrong with us ever since).
Part One
Almost forty years have passed since the last time she set foot in this house, but one step over the threshold is all it takes for the memories to come rushing back. They were never far from the surface, but being there again is like opening an overwhelming portal to the past. She can practically hear their voices – one in particular – as her eyes dart around the room.
The décor is familiar, but details have changed over the years. The curtains are new, the paint is fresh and the hardwood is a different color, darker than the original and she has to assume that's intentional. The New Orleans Preservation Society declared the home a landmark, but that doesn't stop them from using the local lore to scare tourists into spending money for access. After all, legend claims vampires owned the house for centuries as they ruled the supernatural scene.
Given the reason she's there, she knows she has no room to judge anyone for using the house or its history for financial gain. But none of this is her idea – not the location, not the interview, not even the book itself. Her name might be on the cover along with what she considers an overly airbrushed 'candid' photo on the back jacket, but she can't take credit for the idea and she's certainly not interested in the profits. This entire venture is the fulfillment of a promise made long ago, one that she's wanted to keep and as difficult as coming here again is, she's willing to make the sacrifice to ensure the message gets heard.
"Ms. O'Connell?" A petite brunette with an overly cheery smile that seems completely out of place in this house steps in front of her, pulling her from her thoughts as she politely holds out her hand.
"Cami," she replies, surprising herself for offering up the nickname usually reserved for a select few, as she shakes the woman's hand. Cami decides to chalk the slip of the tongue up to her surroundings. Standing in this foyer, shaking hands and faking a polite smile unnerves her more than she was expecting.
The woman introduces herself as Margo and explains that she's the production assistant assigned to keep her company until it's time to go on camera. Margo leads Cami into the formal sitting room that's now transformed into a mini-television studio. She offers her water and a snack and after Cami declines both, she's seated on the couch while Margo touches up her makeup and makes small talk about the weather.
A few minutes later, Margo holds a mirror in front of her face to show off the finished product. Cami manages another polite smile, even as she fights the urge to wince at her reflection. She looks every single one of her sixty-three years and then some and the caked on stage makeup does not help anything. But this isn't about her so it doesn't matter how she looks once the camera starts rolling.
Margo excuses herself and Cami folds her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget as the lighting and sound crews do their thing. Once everything's set, Samantha Davenport, the local news anchor, sits down across from her and offers a polite handshake. Cami notes that she bypasses a firm grip to protect her manicure and the gesture is so vain and ridiculous that it somehow calms Cami's nerves.
The reporter explains that they're going live in two minutes. She'll open the broadcast with a brief history of the house they were sitting in and then she'll summarize Cami's book before she introduces her and begins her questions. Cami nods as her nerves come roaring back, twisting her stomach into knots. After so many years of keeping everything buried deep inside, it doesn't feel right to sit in this house of all places to pull back the veil. But it needs to be done. This is the final step. It's her only shot at reaching a large audience.
Samantha puts on her best smile and faces the camera, welcoming the viewers to the heart of the French Quarter. She talks about the local lore and Cami assumes the production crew is running b-roll footage as she describes the house and the ugly, bloody history surrounding it. Then she holds up a copy of Cami's book, rattles off a condensed version of the description and then lists Cami's credentials before she turns in her direction.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Camille O'Connell. Welcome, Ms. O'Connell."
"Thank you for having me," Cami replies. She's echoing the reporter's overly formal tone as she quietly reminds herself that she can do this – she's come this far. Cami has talked about her book in great lengths before – from the time she'd sold the initial proposal to when the finished copy had first hit the shelves. But this is different. This is being back here and remembering and answering questions that were no one's business on live television because she has to get the message out there. She owes them, him, this final favor.
"Let's start with the big question of fact versus fiction," Samantha begins. She's got her best reporter smile in place and Cami braces for the onslaught. "Even though the Mikaelson family once lived in this very house, some say for centuries, your book is classified as fiction. Why?"
"It is fiction," Cami replies. She's mentally prepared her response to this question, but it still pains her to say the words. "Parts of my book were inspired by local lore, including the legend that surrounded the Mikaelson family, but all of it is just that. It's a fictionalized account of life's tragedies," she stresses.
Samantha nods, a small smile playing across her lips like she's trying to appear amused. Cami wonders if she's fighting the urge to wink at the camera as she pauses before her next question. "So you don't actually believe that the members of the Mikaelson family were secretly vampires that lived in the French Quarter for hundreds of years?"
"Of course not," Cami replies, letting her tone convey that the mere idea is completely ridiculous. "There's no such thing as vampires." Anymore, her mind adds and she feels like someone is reaching into her chest and squeezing her heart as the familiar pain floods through her. Breathe through your nose. Don't show emotion, she mentally pleads.
Samantha holds her gaze for a long minute like she's expecting her to change her mind and Cami keeps her face carefully blank until the reporter lets out an exaggerated sigh that's mixed with a laugh. "Well I had to try, didn't I?" Her southern drawl seeps through like they're ladies gossiping over tea and Cami manages a small laugh. The moment passes and Samantha's face turns serious again.
"You've said the book is a tragedy and it is," Samantha confirms. Her eyes are shining when she turns to the camera once more. "I went through several boxes of tissues." She pauses again and Cami assumes she's playing to the live audiences, but it seems silly when it's only them and the camera crew in the room. "Now I've also heard you describe the book as a love story. Whose love story?" she asks.
The vice grip of the invisible fist tightens around her heart and Cami struggles to prevent the emotion from seeping into her voice. She can't bring herself to stare directly into the camera so she focuses her gaze on Samantha. "There are several love stories in the book, but at its heart is the love between family members and the lengths people will go to protect their family. No sacrifice is ever too big."
Samantha nods like she understands and Cami digs her fingernails into the skin of her palm to hold her temper in check. The reporter will never understand – no one will understand – but she can't say that. She can't let her emotions get the best of her because this isn't about her. As far as the world is concerned, her only connection is the research she did to write her book.
"What about the love between the king and his historian?"
Cami feels the lump rising in her throat. She's prepared for this question too – she's certainly talked about it enough with her editors and the people who came to her book signings as she toured the country. But being in this house makes it too difficult to detach from the situation and the memories flash in her mind's eye.
She's sitting at the typewriter while Klaus angrily paces the room, moaning about how his siblings are out to get him. It's the only time she knows her thoughts are her own and she's desperate to be able to recall them later. That's why she's drawing the code. It's her only chance. He realizes she's not typing and she gives him a piece of her mind, calling him out on his delusions and the fact that he blames his siblings for his unhappiness instead of taking responsibility.
He ignores her words and continues to insist that everyone is out to get him. She's frustrated to the point where she wants to scream, but she doesn't get the chance because her drawing catches his eyes and he demands to know what's she's doing so she replies with a version of the truth, knowing he'll assume she's being sarcastic.
"It's an ancient mystical plot I'm using to destroy you."
Her mind snaps back to the present and she gives Samantha the best smile she can muster. "You're skipping ahead. The relationship between the king and the historian does come into play in the book, but it's not the focus. This is a story of a family and the strong bond they shared through the best and worst that life had to offer."
Samantha nods and sends her a knowing look that Cami would love to slap off her face. Instead, she digs her nails into her palm again, red crescent marks dotting her skin. But it does the trick and some of the tension eases from her shoulders as she waits for the next question. "The bond is certainly unique. As I read the story, I was never quite sure if these people loved each other or planned to murder one another while they slept. If the slept…" The twinkle returns to her eyes. "Do vampires sleep?"
The question is supposed to sound like casual conversation and Cami wonders if anyone in history has ever walked into a trap that obvious. The forced smile on her face widens despite her very real desire to start screaming and never stop. "There are no vampires. As I've said, my book is loosely based on the lore of the Mikaelson family, who some did consider royalty. That's why I chose to give the characters titles instead of names. It allows people to picture whoever they'd like as they read."
"Creative," Samantha comments and Cami can see that's not the word she wants to use, but she's as professional as ever as she opens the book on her lap. It probably looks like she opened it to a random page on camera, but Cami is close enough to see the corner is bent just enough to be a placeholder. "Well it seems we'll be starting with the queen." Her face shifts into a sympathetic expression. "Describe her in three words."
"Strong, resourceful and lost," Cami replies. Her voice threatens to crack on the last word, but she manages to squeak it out as her mind drifts to a heavily pregnant woman walking beside her at a funeral procession. Everything about their official first meeting had been inappropriate – her uncle had just died in transition to becoming a vampire and Hayley wanted a favor. But all she'd had to do was mention her distrust of Francesca and Cami had forgiven the major social faux pas and agreed to help her.
If only she'd discovered the truth sooner. Even now, Cami can't help but think everything might have been different if she'd realized who Francesca was before the full moon or if she'd been able to warn Hayley or Klaus or Elijah or someone. She knows better than anyone that it's not healthy to dwell on what ifs or to live in the past, but sometimes, she feels like that's the only way to survive because the guilt and pain is all she has left and she cherishes it.
Samantha's voice brings her back to the present once more and Cami only catches the tail end of her statement, but it's enough for her to fall into the conversation. Samantha wants to read a passage from the chapter and Cami knows which one it will be before she even begins. Cami just nods and forces another polite smile onto her face while Samantha digs out her high school drama class voice as she reads about the queen giving birth to a stillborn baby as war tears the city down around the castle.
"Powerful," Samantha says in an exaggerated whisper. Cami carves another crescent into her palm and this time she thinks she might have drawn blood, but she can't look. "The loss of the baby rocks the fragile kingdom, but as the child's mother, the queen suffers the most, doesn't she?"
The question is so stupid that the polite smile slips from Cami's face, but she manages not to outright glare at the woman. "After the baby was taken from her, the queen didn't know who she was anymore. She lost her identity and couldn't find a way to accept her new reality. The family tried to help her, but they were grieving too."
Samantha makes a comment about postpartum depression and rattles off statistics that scroll across the teleprompter before she picks up the book again and reads about how the queen slipped further and further into her depression and isolated herself from those who cared about her, specifically the duke. She raises her perfectly shaped eyebrows at Cami. "I think we've stumbled on another love story."
Cami nods. "They loved each other deeply, but it wasn't enough to save the queen from her sorrow. The changes that she went through would have been crippling enough on their own, but without her baby…" She can't bring herself to finish the sentence because she knows her voice threatens to give out on her, but Samantha is all too happy to pick up the thread and talk about the queen throwing herself out the window.
"The image haunts me," Samantha says. She's using that exaggerated whisper again and facing the camera. "The poor queen leaping to her death and the duke that loved her so much, finding her body on the concrete and cradling her in his arms once last time…" She pauses and reaches up to brush an imaginary tear from her eye, but Cami is barely paying attention because the truth is so much more troubling than fiction.
Bodies littering the courtyard are nothing new. The stench of death and blood greets her every time she sets foot in the compound, which is why Klaus does his best to keep her away, but she's never been good at taking orders. Cami averts her eyes from the carnage and bile churns in her stomach as she moves toward the entryway. Before she can open the door, a scream pierces the air and she freezes. She feels the rustle of wind and she barely has time to register what's happening. Suddenly, she's on the second floor balcony. There's an arm draped across her waist holding her body against a firm chest and a hand is covering her mouth, but she's too stunned to even attempt to scream.
"You should not have come back here." His lips nearly brush her earlobe when he whispers the warning and her heart leaps right into her throat. She makes the smallest noise of protest, but he doesn't remove his hand from her mouth and she knows why when she hears movement down below. Everything inside of her protests, but it's not enough to stop Cami from letting her gaze drift to where Hayley is now standing near the fountain. She's feeding from a girl who looks young enough to still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings.
As Hayley sinks her fangs into the girl's neck, Cami feels Klaus' arm tighten around her waist and she leans into him without thinking about what she's doing as her eyes move past Hayley to the other bodies and Cami realizes they're all young girls, barely old enough to be in high school. The girl in Hayley's arms tries to scream and Cami wants to help her, but Klaus' grip is like iron. Tears burn in her eyes as she watches the last flicker of life drain from the girl before Hayley unceremoniously shoves her body away and wipes the back of her hand across her mouth.
"Honey, I'm home!" she calls. Hayley's voice carries throughout the compound, echoing off the stone walls and making it even more sinister than the expression on her face. As if sensing their presence, she turns her gaze toward the balcony, but Klaus is faster and instantly they're hidden from view by one of the large pillars.
His hand drops from her mouth to her shoulder and Klaus spins Cami around, pressing her back against the pillar as he leans into her, so close their noses are practically touching. "You need to leave now," he growls. His voice is barely above a whisper, but she hears the command loud and clear. "Take the east stairwell down to the garage and exit through there. Do not look back."
Cami shakes her head, not sure if it's pure stubbornness or fear driving her, but she doesn't want to leave, not when Hayley is like this. "She needs help. She…" Klaus cuts her off, covering her mouth with his hand once more and this time, Cami tries to protest, but he ignores her, his gaze drifting down to the courtyard and that's when Cami hears another familiar voice.
"Hayley."
With Klaus' attention on the scene below, Cami manages to shift just enough to be able to peer around the pillar as well. Elijah approaches Hayley from the opposite end of the compound, his hands held out at his sides as if to show her that he means no harm. His eyes are focused solely on Hayley and even from the distance Cami can see the anguish in them. He looks completely and utterly broken as he stops a few feet away from Hayley, ignoring the bodies surrounding them.
Hayley's facing away from them now, but Cami can see the defiance in her posture, her back straight, her hands on her hips as she faces Elijah. "Sorry I haven't been home for a few days, but I had some things to do." She jerks her head in the direction of the fallen bodies and Cami watches as Elijah's face crumbles and she can't help the gasp that leaves her mouth.
"Shh." Klaus' mouth is back at her ear and his hand presses tighter against her mouth. "If she knows you're here, she'll try to kill you." He speaks directly against her skin and Cami doesn't know if it's proximity or dread that sounds a shudder down her spine, but she knows she's in trouble either way. She lets her body go rigid to show him that she's heard the warning, her eyes still on the courtyard below.
"These are children. They're not witches or vampires or werewolves. They're just innocent children. None of these girls were your enemy." Elijah's eyes are on Hayley's face and he seems to be searching for something as he watches her. Cami sees the other woman's shoulders lift in a shrug and another flash of sadness crosses Elijah's face.
Hayley laughs. The sound is hollow and manic and Cami feels a second shudder go down her spine and this time she knows it's pure terror seeping into her veins. Klaus somehow manages to shift even closer and Cami welcomes his presence. She's not sure she'd be able to keep standing on her own. "Oh Elijah, don't you see? I'm saving them from a life of misery. They're orphans," she says like it's the most logical explanation in the world. "Why wait for them to grow up and see how terrible the world is when I can spare them that pain right now?"
Elijah is rendered momentarily speechless and his gaze drops to the bodies at their feet before he looks to Hayley once more, that same broken, tortured look on his face. "It doesn't have to be like. Please let me help you, Hayley." He takes a step forward and Hayley moves so fast that Cami's brain takes a moment to catch up and by the time it does, Hayley's mouth is on Elijah's neck and she takes a vicious bite out of his skin. Cami tries to scream, but no sound comes out as she watches Elijah's face contort in pain.
Hayley takes a step back and then she's the one screaming, the brutal, animalistic sound coming from deep inside of her. She pitches forward and Elijah catches her in his arms, holding her to his chest as she fists her hands in his shirt, both of them ignoring the blood dripping from his neck. Hayley lets out another scream and the anguish in the sound has Cami struggling against Klaus' grip. She doesn't know what to do for the woman, but she can't just stand there and watch. Klaus simply holds her tighter and Cami tries to turn her head and glare at him, but his hand is still on her mouth and he won't allow the movement.
"Elijah, please," Hayley cries. They've shifted slightly and now Cami can see Hayley's face too and the sorrow and disgust reflecting in her eyes makes her heart clench in her chest. "Don't make me do this anymore, please." Her knees give out and she slides against Elijah, pulling him down with her until they're both kneeling on the pavement. "I never wanted to live this way and without my baby."
Tears burn in Cami's eyes and she doesn't try to stop them from falling as she watches Elijah lift one of his hands to Hayley's cheek. His eyes shine with unshed tears and Cami sees him brush his thumb over Hayley's skin. "We can find a way," he tells her, his voice laced with desperation like he already knows his plea won't matter, and Hayley lets out another choked sob.
"No." She shifts and rests her forehead against his, her fists still clinging to his shirt. "You told me that I would always have a choice." The words must register for Elijah because his entire body stills and Cami feels Klaus stiffen behind her as well. She takes the opportunity to struggle against his grasp once more, but he simply shakes her and then holds her tighter, making it clear that she's not going anywhere.
"I don't want to do this anymore. I can't. Please Elijah, make it stop. I never wanted to live like this to be one of these creatures. Make it stop, if not for me...for Hope..." This time, it's Klaus who gasps and Cami barely has time to register that before she sees Elijah reach into Hayley's chest and a second later, he's holding her heart in his hand. Hayley's body sags against his, her head landing on his heart. His gaze remains on the heart in his palm and he doesn't seem to hear the screams piercing the air.
Cami feels hot tears against her neck and it's only then that she realizes she's the one who's screaming because Klaus hand has fallen from her mouth. His arm is still around her waist and his face is buried in the skin of her neck, both of them shaking. She manages to turn around and she clings to him just as tightly as he's holding her, the scene playing on an endless loop in her mind. Klaus finds his composure before she does and he stiffens in her arms, but he doesn't let go of her until she finally stops sobbing.
She meets his gaze and his face is stony, but she recognizes a mask when she sees one. Cami reaches out to him, but Klaus catches her hand before she can touch him and shakes his head. "Leave the way I told you to and do not come back here." He's gone in a gust of wind and Cami turns back to the courtyard, her heart breaking all over again when she sees Klaus kneeling beside his brother and offering him his blood to heal him.
"No." Elijah's voice is defiant and he gets to his feet, lifting Hayley's body into his arms. "I do not wish for you to heal me, Niklaus." He carries Hayley away, disappearing through one of the doors that lead into the compound. Klaus drops his head to his chest and then he looks up and meets Cami's gaze. She sees the moisture in his eyes before he picks up two of the dead bodies and speeds off toward the gate.
"Ms. O'Connell?" Samantha's voice pulls her from her thoughts and Cami realizes the reporter is staring at her. She feels color rising in her cheeks and wonders how long Samantha had been trying to get her attention.
Cami gives her what she hopes is a sheepish smile, but fears is probably a grimace. "I'm sorry. Would you mind repeating the question?" She probably looks like a pretentious jackass so moved by her own words that she stopped paying attention to the conversation, but she can't bring herself to care.
Samantha flashes an indulgent smile and Cami stifles the urge to punch the woman in the face. "While he's dealing with his grief, the duke is also recovering from a battle injury. Even though his brother the king wants to help him, the duke refuses. I have to admit I was surprised by the king's reaction. Why didn't he try to take control of the situation?"
For a moment, Cami is almost impressed by the insightfulness of the question, but she doubts Samantha came up with it herself. Judging by most of her comments and her desire to focus on the love story, Cami is skeptical that the reporter read the book at all, aside from the paragraphs that had been selected for her to discuss in the interview. But that's not the point of this, Cami reminds herself. She forces her fake smile back into place.
"The king might not have admitted it often or ever, but he looked up to his older brother and he respected his decision because it was the only comfort he could offer at the time," Cami replies. The words feel far too simplistic on her tongue and she wanted to say more, but it's impossible to explain to anyone else what it had been like in the compound after Hayley's death. And even if she could come up with the correct terminology, Cami does not want to share this part of the story with the world. Grief is far too personal.
Cami is still sitting on the balcony when Klaus returns to pick up more bodies. He doesn't glance in her direction so she leans back against the pillar and waits. The compound is silent around her, but she's been around supernatural creatures long enough to know that's not going to last. She lets her eyes drift shut and immediately regrets it when she sees Elijah pulling Hayley's heart from her chest flashing across her eyelids.
She chooses to stare at the wall across from her instead, her eyes drifting over a crack that snakes around it. Cami's eyes follow the broken line and she wonders how longs it's been there. Was it there the first time the Mikaelson family lived in this house? Or maybe they're the cause of it – she imagines one of the vampires using super strength to toss an enemy against the concrete. She wonders if they've ever considered having it repaired. Do vampires make home repairs?
The thought is so ludicrous that a laugh bubbles in her throat, but she quickly covers her mouth before letting it escape. The last thing Elijah needs is to hear laughter while he's mourning Hayley. The thought immediately sobers her up and Cami realizes she's probably in shock. That's the only explanation for her newfound fascination with cracks in the wall and suddenly she's crying again, the tears running down her face in hot streaks as her shoulders tremble against the pillar.
Cami cries until she feels like there's no more liquid left in her entire body. Her throat is scratchy and sore, her nose is stuffed up and the ache in her chest is so unbearable that she's genuinely surprised she can still take a breath. She rests her head on her knees and wraps her arms around herself. The scene in the courtyard continues to play on an endless loop in her mind and she feels helpless. She'd known Hayley wasn't coping with being a hybrid, but Cami had stayed away from her because it wasn't her place to interfere or at least that's what she'd told herself. But maybe she could have done something – anything – to prevent Hayley from reaching this breaking point.
The sky grows darker and the air turns chilly as night falls over the compound and Cami has no idea how long she's been sitting there when she hears the first shout coming from down the hall. It's Elijah and he's calling for Hayley, pleading with her to let him help her. Cami scrambles to her feet and runs in the direction of his voice. She sees the closed door and reaches for the handle, but another hand gets there first and Klaus yanks her away from the door.
"I told you to leave." Behind the door, Elijah screams again and Klaus glares at her, his nostrils flaring. "This is the final time I'm going to ask nicely, love." He moves closer to her, leaning in so they're nose to nose once again. "Elijah chooses to suffer." A crash from the bedroom makes Cami jump, but she stands firm, crossing her arms over her chest. Klaus growls, "This is only the beginning of his darkness."
"You can try and scare me away all you want, but I care about Elijah too. I'm staying." Cami holds her position, wanting to make it crystal clear that challenging her is pointless. Klaus moves closer and for a second she worries that he might try to physically remove her from the compound, but he just mutters, 'suit yourself' and then he disappears into Elijah's room, slamming the door at his back before Cami can see what's going on inside.
She hears another crash and Elijah calls out for Hayley again. He begs Klaus to let her come home and the anguish in his voice is enough to make fresh tears well up in Cami's eyes. She slides down to the floor and tucks her body against the corner of the wall. There might not be anything she can do to help anyone, but she knows she can't leave, not now. Voices rise and fall on the other side of the door and she tries to drown them out when she starts to feel guilty for invading their privacy.
As the night wears on, the noise from Elijah's room reaches deafening levels. Other times, there's no noise at all and that's when she's most frightened. But Cami stays where she is, ignoring the ache that spreads through her limbs and down her spine from sitting on the hard floor for hours on end. When the sun begins to chase away the dark sky, the door opens and Klaus appears. His eyes meet hers and Cami knows that as long as she lives, she'll never forget the agony she sees there. He closes the door behind him and sits down in front of it, letting his head fall back with a quiet thump. She knows better than to try and engage him in conversation because there's nothing to say. No one is all right. They may never be all right again.
Several hours pass by and neither of them says a word. Cami watches Klaus drum his fingers against his knees. It's the only indication of his discomfort and she imagines putting her hand over his and halting the movement to remind him that he's not alone, but she can't bring herself to leave the corner. She doubts Klaus would want the comfort so she just watches his restless fingers, choosing to focus on that instead of the horror surrounding them.
She has no idea how much time passes before the door opens again and Elijah stands on the threshold. His shirt is caked with blood, his hair is sticking out in all directions and the emptiness in his eyes makes Cami's heart turn over in her chest. He glances in her direction, but she's not even sure he truly sees her there before his gaze lands on Klaus, who is looking up at him. "It's time, brother." Elijah turns and goes back into the room and Klaus gets to his feet and starts to follow, stopping only to spare her the briefest of glances. "Leave."
This time, Cami listens. She exits the compound the way Klaus instructed her to earlier, unable to bear the thought of walking through the courtyard. She steps out of the garage and the bright afternoon sunshine nearly blinds her. Without looking back, Cami turns away from the compound and runs as fast as her legs will carry her, not stopping until she's behind the door of her apartment. She slips the chain into place and collapses on the couch, unable to stop her mind from reliving the terror of the evening.