I watched as she sat there, perched perfectly in the window pane. I knew she had no idea I was there, she never did. I wondered what
she was thinking, just staring out the window. It looked as if she could see something that no one else could ever see. My world
revolved around her, but would I tell her? Not a chance. As beautiful as she was, she was just as distrusting and unforgiving. "Spike," I
heard a deep voice call to me. "Spike what are you doing?" Jet asked walking up to me and it seemed with every loud stomp on the
rusted metal floor, he became angrier. "Let me tell you what you're doing, you're wasting perfectly good time staring off into fantasy
land." With that he stalked back down the hall way mumbling things to himself. Lately, he's been most on the down side. I'm not sure if
it's because all we know is going straight into the gutter after trying so hard to lift it off the ground. As much as I hate to admit it Jet is
the main man of this crew and without the tough guy to whip us into shape, we've fallen. We aren't a crew anymore, just a few people
living on a ship. In the beginning Jet was the one who tried to keep it all together. In all honesty, he was the only one trying to keep us
from falling apart. Faye and I were the ones to start the deterioration. We stopped going on bounties together and Jet really wouldn't
have that. He tried to keep us together, working hard to reach the same goal. He always told her to keep her chin up and me, to quit
acting like a little girl. He was always more sensitive when talking her and I could understand why, but what I didn't get, is why did he
blame it on me? Why didn't he give her a little bit of the blame? I brought it to attention and that's when Jet stopped caring. I wonder
Faye ever wondered why he stopped acknowledging it. After Jet, Edward tried to bring the spirits to an all time high, but if I told you it
worked I'd be lying. Edward, that little girl has the most spirit of us all. She's really the only one who ever had any of it. She tells jokes
and tries to keep up laughing and smiling in hopes that someday we'll end up together again. Just as it was when we first met Faye or
maybe even just a couple months ago. She was always pink cheeked and bubbly, but when Jet stopped encouraging her individuality
and we stopped laughing at the spastic jokes, her light burnt out. Her tan faded, her cheeks mellowed, her eyes were as dim and I'd
ever seen them. I could tell her heart was shattered and I knew why. Right about now, I'm wishing I would've laughed at the rhyme
games. I'm wishing I would've helped her come up with some new jokes. I'm wishing I would've been someone to encourage the
development of a strong environment for her. Eventually we were no longer connected; we don't even argue that much anymore. By
"we" I mean Faye and I. I can't even think about her without getting butterflies, as masculine as that is. I watched her sometimes just
for the sake of seeing her skin. I watched her eyes for any hint of happiness at all. When I saw her sadness get stronger each day I had
to do something about it. We had a few blissful nights here and there and to be honest, that was the first time I was truly happy in so
long. I don't know what bothered me more: the fact that I broke it off or the fact that I still wanted her. I listened to her every secret,
want and desire and not once did I find anything wrong with it. She told me she didn't want it end and I wanted to tell her the same, but
I couldn't risk having feelings for her. What if we were on a bounty and she got shot? I knew I'd turn right around and help her without
caring about myself. I would end up dead and so would she because I was careless. I told her the cheesiest thing when I broke her
heart, "No matter what happens, I'll always love you." And I will. I didn't tell her that to give her closure I told her that because it was
true. Faye and I decided to take bounties more and more often, mostly because we needed cigarettes. I never really bought cigarettes,
not too often anyway. I gave my money to Edward and told her the sky's the limit. She never bought anything, but food. Her stomach
was receding and she was constantly cold. I couldn't just watch her waste away, so I put my nicotine addiction to the side for that little
girl, but she had to promise not to tell anyone. As much as I loved her and wanted to help her I couldn't let the cat out of the bag. But
when Ed started getting hungrier each time we couldn't keep it to the minimum any longer. We had to take a huge bounty, but most
importantly for the first time since I can remember, Faye and I had to work together. Faye and I went on the bounty and my heart was
beating so fast I thought it would explode. I wasn't nervous about the bounty I was worried about Faye. It was so redundant to dump
her. "Wait until I give you the signal alright?" I asked her making sure she heard me. "Whatever." She mumbled back to me keeping
her eyes on her gun. Whatever? Excuse me for worrying about your life! I'm so sorry that I don't want you to die and I'm so sorry that
I'm in love with you! "No, not 'whatever' you wait, understand me?" I said reaching forward and grabbing her arm tight enough to
make her face me, but loose enough so she wouldn't bruise. "I gotchya, let go." She said yanking her arm away from me. I shook my
head and pushed my gun into my holster right before I heard her say, "Jeez you act like I've never done this before." I whispered back,
"I love you and please be careful." But she didn't say anything back or even turn to face me. We got in position and just before the
bounty revealed himself I checked to see if Faye was posted behind the ugliest pink building I've ever seen. The bounty stepped out in
front of me and said, "I can't believe you were stupid enough to come without back up." I gave a low laugh because only Faye and I
knew that I wasn't there alone. The man handed me a brief case full of some kind of drug I never got the chance to figure out because
before I knew it I was handing him the "money" and drawing my gun to keep him from taking off with it. I saw two large men step out
of the black BMW parked behind him. At that moment I let panic take my body, but I couldn't let it show. I kept my gun drawn ready
to fire at anyone; while I check for snipers one of the large men fired his gun and hit me dead in the knee cap. I fell to the ground and to
tend to myself and then everything seemed to slow down. Faye came out from behind the ugly pink building and came to my rescue.
She fired her gun, but kept her eyes closed the whole time. I tried to tell her to open her damn eyes, but she obviously didn't hear me.
Bullets were everywhere and shells were hitting the ground like rain drops. I thought for sure we were both dead and everything was
over just like that. I looked up and Faye was standing over me, she knelt down and asked me if I was alright. I had a chance to roll
over and sit up straight, "Yeah." I whispered still examining my knee, "I got hit in the leg, I'm good." I looked over her to make sure
she was okay, that's when I saw it. Her chest was oozing with blood and she had no idea. I looked into her eyes and tried to keep
myself from bursting into tears. "It's okay," She said "The pain will-…" She never finished her sentence. Her eyes clenched as well as
her fist as she bared her teeth. I could tell she was in pain. She looked at me and tried to speak, but nothing came out. "Shh, just don't
speak, you'll get weaker." I said frantically pulling her close to me. "I'll call Jet, baby, and everything will okay." I pulled out my phone
and told Jet to hurry up and get here. So he could help her, I never told him I was hurt. I held her wound, it seemed to be right, smack
on her heart, but I wasn't going to let her die. Not like this. "I'm so sorry; I should've never broken up with you. It was the biggest
mistake of my life and I really meant I'd always love you. No matter what happens between us Faye I love you. You know what we
can do? We'll move out of the Bebop after we get on our feet. When we have an apartment just the two of us, we'll get real jobs
maybe for a news paper or behind a desk. Something mellow you know?" I paused and took time to smile at her. I noticed her
struggling to keep her eyes open, but it wasn't working out. I couldn't think of anything else, but make the moment more intimate. I
buried my fingers in her soft violet locks and whispered "Do you know how beautiful our kids will be? Can't you just see them now? A
little diva that takes every quality you can give her? And of course we have to have my mini me; I hope he's not as lazy as me." Her
eyes kept getting heavier and heavier so I pressed on her wound and listened to her scream. "I'm sorry, just don't go sleep." I could
feel the tears behind my eyes and my heart starting to break. I knew deep in my soul that no matter how much I promised she would
live I couldn't convince myself of it. "I love you," I sobbed uncontrollably. "You aren't going to die, you won't die." I leaned down and
pressed my lips to hers, God, it had been so long since I had fulfilled this need. I could feel her try to kiss me back with what little
strength she had. She coughed against my face and I felt the hot blood ooze everywhere. My nose, my cheeks, I could even taste it. I
tried to convince myself it wasn't blood, but what else could it be? At that exact moment, her heart stopped under my hand. The beat
just stopped cold in its tracks. All the things that I promised her, I could no longer make reality. All the things I wanted for us would
never be true. Our kids, our apartment, our life, our everything, gone, just like that. Even after she died, Even after Jet showed up, I
held her close to me, tight in my arms. Her blood still caked on my face, I didn't wash it off for hours. For some reason, I don't know
why that kiss was so different from all the others.
Hope you enjoyed the sequel A GREAT THANKS TO ANOTHER-TRAPPED-SOUL FOR THE IDEA!-YF