Chapter 1 – I Will Always Be Here

Author's Note: Hey everybody! So, if any of you are following my other story, "No Longer The Weakest Link," do not worry, I am still working on it. However, the new season has given me waaaayyy too much material to work with, so I started this multi-chap fic to fill in the Spemily gaps I have been seeing. All mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading :)

Disclaimer: None of the characters or story lines from Pretty Little Liars are mine. If they were, it would be one big Spemily story.

Hanna fell asleep not long after making sure that Ali was asleep, taking my place on the couch next to Emily after I left to use the restroom. Em and I both fell quiet once she drifted off, even the beating of our own hearts getting lost in the vastness of the theatre. I sat cross-legged on the floor, my back to Ali as I looked at my friends, sighing deeply and wondering how in the world I was going to protect them now.

Hanna fidgeted in her sleep, a small snort escaping as she shifted awkwardly on her half of the couch, and I couldn't help but grin at just how normal the action was, how mundane. Emily, on the other hand, didn't react to the movement or sound at all. She was completely still, her eyes on Ali, as they had been since Hanna fell asleep. Her intense focus made me anxious, and there was no way the wistful look on her face was a good sign, not with the history there.

I was glad Ali was alive and safe, don't get me wrong, but I was also worried about what that meant emotionally for Emily. Ali had messed with her head, and her heart, so much in the past, and I didn't want my best friend to get her heart broken again. And that's what Emily was, my best friend. Out of all the girls, she was the one that had been there for me, ever since Ali first disappeared, and I didn't want to lose that because Ali was back. So I got up and walked over to my friend, gently grasping her hand as I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Em, can we talk?"

She just looked up at me slowly, nodding distractedly before moving to stand, the stage couch creaking a bit as she scooted forward and the cushions making a plopping sound back into the frame as she gained her feet.

We wandered out beyond the theatre seats, walking up the stairs that Ali had climbed earlier in the night to the mezzanine above, our footsteps echoing through the halls like gun shots in the vacant space surrounding us.

"What's up, Spence?" Emily questioned, her voice still far away, as though she was talking to me from somewhere else entirely. As though she weren't even standing there beside me at all.

"Are you okay, Em?" I wondered softly, moving to stand next to her.

It wasn't the question I wanted to ask, not by a long shot, but I was happy just to get some kind of conversation going at all. Ali had always been a tough subject for Em, especially with me, so I could only hope that she would open up to me about how all this was affecting her instead of my having to pull it out of her.

"I'm fine, Spence. Why?" She asked just as softly, obviously not wanting her voice to echo out anywhere, just in case.

Confusion clouded her face, and I could tell that she had no idea why I would bring her up there in the middle of the night just to ask such a stupidly normal question. She was obviously completely unaware of how concerned I was about her, or why, and that only worried me more. I desperately hoped that the hold Ali once had over her wasn't as strong as ever, because I needed Emily with me, by my side, whether Alison was with us or not.

"Are you still in love with her?"

I wanted to slap myself in the face.

My brain must have somehow escaped my body for those few seconds that it took for that question to come out, and I was absolutely mortified. Yes, that was the question that I was dying to know the answer to, but I had never actually intended to ask it, especially not so bluntly. There were so many other ways I could have gone about getting the information I wanted, but no, I had to do it in the worst way possible.

I was even fairly certain that I knew the answer; I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Emily being in love with Alison would only make things between our group that much more awkward and fragile, and I worried what it would do to Emily and my friendship. Lord knows Ali and I had butted heads a lot in the past, and, even if she had changed some, I didn't foresee that changing anytime soon.

"Honestly, Spencer, I don't know," Emily offered, her voice trembling as she did her best to give me an answer, thankfully not seeming angry at my impertinence. "I was in love with her for so long, and then I wrote her that letter and she was just gone. Everything has been so unresolved between us for so long that I don't even know how to deal with all of these feelings that she coaxes out of me. I don't know how I feel, about any of this, and I'm not sure that I want to know anyway. What if I don't like the answer?"

She started to cry and I immediately moved in to hug her. This was not at all how I had wanted the conversation to go, I couldn't stand it when Emily cried, and all I wanted to do was make things better for her; protect her from everything dark and sad in the world. I would have given anything to make her happy again.

"I'm so sorry, Em. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm sorry, please don't cry. Em, please," I whimpered, on the verge of tears myself as I hugged my best friend even more tightly to me.

Thankfully, she did quiet a little, though I could still feel her tears where her face was pressed firmly against my neck, and she clung to me with more desperation than I had ever experienced before. After some time, I felt Emily loosen her grip, and I moved to pull back a little bit. Keeping my hands around my friend's waist, I leaned my upper body back just enough that I could look into her beautiful face.

"I'm here, Em. Whatever you need from me, I'm here," I whispered, wiping away the tear tracks on her cheeks and looking her directly in the eye before pulling her back into a more relaxed embrace.

"I'm just so afraid that she still has this power over me, this pull that won't let me deny her anything. I don't want to go back to being that person again, to being that weak again. A part of me will always love Ali, but I'm not in love with her anymore, I don't want to be with her, and that's the worst part because I still feel obligated to do whatever she asks of me, to be whomever she wants me to be. How pathetic is that?"

She let out a humorless chuckled when she was finished speaking and I could feel her tears begin again. I wanted to cry as well, to shed tears for Emily's pain and commiserate with her, but somehow I knew that that was not what she needed. Pulling away again, I made sure to look her directly in the eye as I spoke to her.

"You have never been weak Emily, and you are not pathetic. You are the strongest person I have ever met. Ever since Ali disappeared you have been there to hold me up and help me keep going when I thought all was lost. Even before Ali disappeared, you're the one that held us all together when Ali's lies threatened to tear us apart. You've done so much for the people you love, and you don't even realize how strong you had to be, how strong you were.

I mean, come on Em, you were forced out of the closet in the worst way and you handled it with such grace and courage that most people assumed you did it by choice. You stuck by Toby even when everyone was questioning his loyalty, even when I was questioning his loyalty, because he is your friend and you care about him; because you always do everything in your power to protect those you care about. You lost Alison and Maya, two women that you loved, and you're still standing here today, the same good person that you've always been, the same amazing person that I've known for so long. You protected Paige and yourself from psycho Nate… Em, I could go on for days with examples of how strong and brave you are; weeks, actually.

So, please, don't let all of this insanity bring you down on yourself. If you feel like Ali is getting too far under your skin, or if you're just feeling unsure about yourself or everything that's happening, then talk to me. I'm here. I'll always be here when you need me."

As soon as I finished my speech, Emily grabbed onto me as though she never intended to let go, and I couldn't even bring myself to care that her intense hug was making it difficult for me to breathe. Wrapping my arms tightly around my friend's shoulders, I could feel how much tension had eased out of them with my words, and I grinned happily knowing that I had made a difference somehow; I had made things better somehow.

"Thank you, Spence," Emily whispered, pulling away from me and giving me a smile that just about made me melt.

"Like I said, Em, always."