This is kind of a songfic, but not quite. The story is independent of the lyrics, but the song has meaning in the story. Yeah... that didn't really make sense, did it? Just enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or the lyrics to The Veronicas' "This Love".
She's riding in the limo on the way to her first concert in London.
Sure, she's had public appearances and press conferences, but this is her true breakout into the media world since she left Toronto six months ago.
Six months.
Half a year.
Seems like an awful long time.
And it was awful, for her, at first. She felt guilty, alone, and unsure. She was scared. She was doubtful. She needed some sign of vindication, something to tell her, 'It's ok, you made the right choice.'
She thought it would come through her music, so she wrote non-stop. At first it was hard, without him there to look over her words or help her rearrange, but then she let go.
Well, not of everything. Not of the memories, not of him. But she let go of the judgmental side of her. The side that screamed she was an eighteen year-old idiot who let her fame and freedom drag her away from the people she needed. That longed to break her down and send her running back to Toronto, tail between her legs.
And then, like she was born to, she poured her soul into the tattered journal that clung to its last few pages, its worn inscription a constant reminder of why she did what she did:
Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us.
That, ultimately, is what solidified her decision to leave.
That is also why she figured a part of him would understand. He had given her that journal, marked with his simple handwriting with those words. He had urged her to share her music with the world.
And he had loved her.
So while the time was awful at first, it was not all that long. Not long enough to forget him, or make him just a friend in her mind.
He would never be "just" anything to her, ever.
It wasn't long enough to allow the doubt to overtake her and send her home.
It wasn't long enough to make her quit.
So she filled that journal with her feelings, her fears, her insecurities and her secrets. She played those songs for her producer and for her manager, and they were good, but it wasn't until she showcased a particular song that she found herself excited over her first London-born single.
The song had occupied the last page of her old journal. It had been hard to write, but it was truthful. She thought it was foolish when she looked it over and she thought it was naïve. But the truth was it was raw and heartfelt and she was almost ashamed of expressing her feelings this way.
So now, as she hears it on the radio in her limo on the way to her first concert in half a year, she simply asks the driver to turn up the volume.
I, I,
I can see it in your eyes
Taste it in our first kiss
Stranger in this lonely town (this lonely town)
Save me from my emptiness (save me)
You took my hand
You told me it would be ok
I trusted you to hold my heart
Now fate is pulling me away, from you
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
You've become a piece of me
Makes me sick to even think
Of mornings waking up alone
Searching for you in my sheets
Don't fade, away
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
I can't just close the door
(on this love)
I never felt anything like this before
(like this love)
Tell me the truth no matter what we're going through
Will you hold on too 'cause
Even if I leave you now
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around
I won't give in
I can't give up
On this love
Even if I leave you now (leave you now)
And it breaks my heart
Even if I'm not around (not around)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
I won't give in (won't give in)
I can't give up (can't give up)
On this love
She hopes that when her song reaches Toronto, he will understand.
I'm gonna hold off on posting the second part just for a day or so, just to generate some interest. Review to let me know you want it!