So, this is my first Fire Emblem fic...though I have like sixty ideas floating through my head. Quite a lot of it is done already, and I hope to update regularly (that is, every week or so). This story was written before I played, but with the arc of events that I have in mind I don't think it's incompatible--just assume that after their summer vacation, Ike and co return to court, find that tensions have escalated, leave court (Ike resigns his lordship), reorganize as mercenaries (instead of doing reconstruction work), are hired by Bastian and mysteriously disappear.

I meant this fic to be mainly an Ike/Soren but Oscar and Kieran literally took over. There are other pairings and such, some one-sided, but my main focus is on Ike, Soren, and the three brothers with Kieran, Shinon and Mist as the main supporting characters. It's a long fic, so please be patient with the setup. The title, and the focus of each chapter, is on words...and their impact on every situation.

I posted this as humor/general because it's not really a romance so much as it is a character study, although romantic things do happen.

There are a couple companion pieces that I have in mind, but those will probably be one-shots...

Enjoy my fic and please review! After awhile it gets really depressing to have like five reviews for each story you write...

A Wordy Disaster

Chapter One: Innocent Conversation

Two years after the defeat of Ashnard, Ike had begged Queen Elincia for a semi-vacation. "I want to rebuild our old fortress," he told her. "It's where my sister and I grew up, where my mother is buried…even if there's nothing left by now, I would like to restore it to its former condition."

Elincia, moved by this heartfelt plea (and the fact that the Greil Mercenaries had been working for two years straight helping to rebuild the country) decided that Lord Ike could be relieved of his duties temporarily for the summer months—the best time to rebuild, and, as the fort was at the foot of the mountains, not too terribly hot. "I wish you good luck, my Lord Ike!" she said. "I am embarrassed that I have asked so much of you and yours in helping to rebuild, but that I never even thought about the place you would like to restore the most…"

"It's not a big deal," said Ike, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "You don't have to apologize. There were more pressing issues at hand; in fact, there probably still are. But as a whole, I think the group needs a break—no one has really had any personal time since—wow—since the year before the war ended…"

And so it was that, in the late springtime when all the plants had bloomed and the sun was approaching its solstice, the Greil Mercenaries made their way home.

What they found was both disheartening and cause for hope; no one had disturbed the structure itself. However, it looked as though Daein soldiers might have occupied it at one time and bandits at another. It was currently abandoned and almost unlivable. Ike surveyed the building carefully. "For now," he said, "we'll sleep in tents. Let's restore the kitchen first, as that is most valuable, then the common areas and bedrooms. We can do offices and such last, as they are the lowest priority—we've certainly gotten used to operating from the field."

As the news spread that Ike and his mercenaries were rebuilding their fort, they received many offers of help, which Ike politely declined. He saw the project as a family matter, something which would allow the mercenaries to bond further outside of combat or rebuilding missions. But one bright day, Kieran came riding up, greeting Oscar (who was shirtless and hauling water) with a friendly, "Hey rival! That looks like a glorious job alright! Why won't you come back with me after you're done this housework and seek real glory?"

Oscar sighed and turned his back to Kieran, saying, "Did you ride all the way out here to taunt me? I've told you a million times, I'm happy where I am."

"Well, you could have changed your mind!" said Kieran, dismounting and taking one of Oscar's buckets. "So, where do these go?"

A little while later, Lethe showed up. "You silly beorc! You can never do anything without a laguz around to hold your hand…"

"Hi, Lethe," Ike said, turning around to face her. "It's good to see you've come to show us pathetic beorc how to do the job we've been doing, for, I don't know, two years now."

After a short staring contest, Lethe hugged him and then released him as though he was on fire. "I heard the news from Queen Elincia herself. I came to show my gratitude and respect by helping you and I can stay the whole summer."

"Great! Kieran's here too. Who knows who else might show up?"

"Have you heard from Muarim and Tormod lately?" They proceeded to exchange information about their old allies. Although Ike doubted anyone else would show up (Daein and Begnion being further away and everyone being busy with their own duties), he was gladdened to see two familiar faces and knew the company would be just as touched.

"Well," said Ike, "let me show you around and you can assess the work that needs to be done. About the only thing finished is the kitchen and I'm quite pleased at how it came out…"

There was, of course, someone who was especially gladdened by the reappearance of old friends. Oscar, who would have never admitted it, did occasionally miss life as a knight, and Kieran was his link to that part of his past. Though he had no regrets—especially since working for Ike was a pleasure and carried its own special 'glory'—it was nice to see Kieran. He hoped that Kieran, ever his 'rival', would agree to spar. Oscar had missed that the most.

It was with that thought in mind that Oscar was humming in the kitchen, making a stew for dinner. His mind was wandering to the times he had shared with Kieran, both as a knight and as a mercenary.

"Hey!" said Boyd, who was cutting up vegetables (that being pretty much the only part of cooking at which he was competent). "Why are you so happy today?" His smile turned a bit sly. "Is it because of the reappearance of a certain someone?"

"So what if it is?" Oscar retorted. "It's always nice to see old friends."

The smirk got bigger, though Oscar had his back to Boyd and was therefore oblivious.

Just then, Soren entered the kitchen. "Excuse me. Oscar? Is there any chance—and I'm sorry for the short notice—that you could bake your famous pineapple cake for tonight?" He set a bundle of objects on the counter.

"Yes, it's no problem," Oscar said, smiling at Soren. "What's the occasion?"

Rolf, who was drying the dishes from lunch, said excitedly, "There's going to be a party tonight!! For Lethe and Kieran!"

"Yes," Soren said. "Exactly right. And, if you will excuse me, I have a lot of tasks to do before it can occur. Not all of us have leisure time to gossip." He swept out, as cold and swift as the wind which he summoned.

"Wow," said Rolf. "Is Soren especially cranky today?"

"He must be," Boyd replied, "because there's going to be a party. And that means that not only does Soren have to plan the entire thing, but he also needs to babysit Ike and make sure he isn't attacked by rabid fangirls while he's drunk. And then he'll retire late, take the stick out of his ass and clean it, sleep, rise early, reinsert the stick, and be twice as cranky tomorrow."

"BOYD!" shouting Oscar, turning around furiously (something which looked ludicrous in the pink frilly apron he was wearing). Rolf stifled a giggle. "Must you be so vulgar when Rolf is about? Or for that matter, when I am?"

"Oh please," said Boyd. "You know he's got a stick up there as well as I do. I doubt that anyone has ever gotten close to him because he's so prickly. He just keeps Ike from getting some because he's never had any in his whole life!!"

"Had any what?" Rolf asked while Oscar shouted, "BOYD!"

"Oh, like sex!! I get it now," said Rolf, picking up another dish.

"Sorry," Boyd said, "but hey, he knows what it is! He…" he felt short as Oscar withdrew the meat carving knife from the animal's ribs and pointed it in the direction of his own. Having no desire to turn into stew, he murmured a second, more sincere sounding, sorry.

"Maybe Soren is…jealous!" Rolf said, "he's really protective of Ike."

"Well, if there were only one person in the whole world I got along with, I'd be protective of them too," Oscar said sadly. "But Soren's so odd, it's quite probable that he has no attraction to Ike and he is just looking out for Ike's best interests."

"But then again," Boyd mused, "has Ike ever shown any interest in a girl? Ever?"

The brothers thought back through the long years they had been in the company. They had arrived when Ike was fourteen; Oscar had been hired immediately and Boyd had begun as a trainee shortly afterwards. The two brothers thought back to Ike's adolescence; Rolf plumbed his memories of spending time with and later, fighting with Ike.

"No," Oscar said finally. "But that doesn't mean anything. Ike was very young when he had the mantle of responsibility thrust upon him and he didn't have time to pursue any personal desires. He was always Greil's son, and that set him apart from the others. There also weren't many young women around…"

"But isn't it strange that he never seemed interested in them, even later on?"

"No," Oscar said. "If anything, it's gotten worse now that he's a big hero. And he's been just as busy with reconstruction as he was with commanding an army. In fact, it's been that way for all of us…I mean, when was the last time any of the mercenaries had time for a personal life?"

Boyd opened his mouth to reply, but Oscar raised the carving knife. Boyd shut his mouth and sighed in relief when Oscar stabbed the animal, not him.

"In fact," Oscar continued calmly, "that's part of the reason we have this vacation. It's to reconnect with ourselves and our own wants and needs—shut off so long because of war and duties…"

"If that's the case," Boyd said, beginning to grin, "then why don't we, if we can, engage in a bit of sport?"

"Sport?" Oscar and Rolf said as one.

"Well," Boyd said slyly, "It seems we have some questions in need of answers. Everyone will be drinking tonight and tongues will be loose. Maybe the sparks will fly! Oh," he added casually, "and I bet you one hundred gold that Ike is a virgin."

"How the hell will you find that out?" Oscar demanded. "I'm not playing your silly games!"

"I will! I will!" Rolf said, nearly breaking the dishes in his excitement.

Oscar sighed.

"It'll be easy. When everyone's in their cups…except for yours truly…I will start to talk about types of women. I'll ask Ike his opinion. If he stutters, blushes, lies, invents things, or is very ambiguous, then we'll know."

"What if he's gay?" Rolf asked.

"ROLF!" said Oscar. "That is not polite."

"I doubt it," Boyd said. "Ike isn't…girly. Not like his little protector and housemaid."

"Don't be mean, Boyd," scolded Oscar, smoothing a wrinkle in his apron. "Just because Soren is blunt sometimes does not mean you have permission to belittle him behind his back."

"I bet that Ike is gay…two hundred gold!"

Boyd, happy at the prospect of making some spending money, agreed.

"Oh you two," Oscar sighed, dropping the vegetables in the stew and stacking the dishes that Rolf had forgotten. "Take Soren's advice…go set the table, and then bring me some water for the cake batter, okay?"

"Yes, Oscar," said Rolf and Boyd.

"But," he said as they turned to go, "I will bet you both three hundred gold that Soren is interested in Ike."

"But you just said you weren't sure!"

"And I'm not," Oscar replied. "But, I think the next few weeks will settle this one way or another. You don't have to find out tonight…you can have all summer to figure that mystery out. However, if you bother Soren or if he finds out, you will both forfeit the bet."

With that last caveat, Oscar turned around and started cracking the eggs.

I apologize for the rather awkward stopping point, but there was no other way to divide things without making this chapter absolutely huge. Please review if you liked my story, or even if you didn't...then I may put the next chapter up faster!

Also, I don't own FE. If I did there would be 3-d, voice-acted cutscenes; you would be able to physically control your character and walk around the base in between battles for shopping, management, support and info conversations; and the RD Shifu swamp map would never have happened. Among many many other things (I love the game to death, but seriously...they could change the interface just a bit so it feels less like you're stuck in the 90s...)