Xiaoyu runs her thumb over her illuminated phone screen, reading their last conversation again and again.
3:02 am Xiaoyu: I'm on my way. Don't do anything until I get there.
3:04 am Jin: It's better if I'm gone. That way I can't hurt anyone else.
3:04 am Xiaoyu: Please! I'm almost there. It will be okay. Just wait for me.
3:06 am Xiaoyu: Jin?
3:07 am Jin: I will never hurt you like that again, Xi.
3:07 am *Outgoing call: Jin*
3:08 am Xiaoyu: I'm fine. Promise me you'll wait
3:10 am Xiaoyu: Jin, promise!
3:11 am *Outgoing call: Jin*
3:13 am Xiaoyu: JIN!
3:17 am *Outgoing call: Jin (5)*
That's the last time she spoke to him.
That was two months ago.
Xiaoyu closes her eyes briefly, sitting on the ledge of a tall city building. Even at fifty stories up with her legs dangling over the edge, she is not afraid. She doesn't feel much of anything, not since he left. She sets her phone down and grips the side of the concrete, feeling the roughness in her palm as the crisp October wind wafts through her black locks.
This is where she saved him in her dream. Xiaoyu tries to imagine what it feels like to have the darkness slithering underneath her skin, clawing to get out; to be afraid of it taking control of her existence, the thoughts of evil colliding with her own, too powerful to determine the difference; to be willing to let go of the ledge and take her own life to save the ones she cares about.
Her eyes spring open and she pulls her legs from over the edge, squeezing them up to her chest.
She can't imagine such a tragedy.
She rests her chin on her knees looking out over the busy city, the windowed skyscrapers glimmering from the setting sunlight. She knows Jin is carrying the guilt of what he did to her, but she just wants him to come back. She wants to tell him it was an accident and that she forgives him. She wants him to know that she would never leave his side, no matter what happened or happens in the future.
Her phone vibrates beside her. It's Hwoarang.
She clears her voice of the emotion that's been clouding her all day before she answers. "Hello?"
"Ling, where are you?" Hwoarang asks in his naturally demanding voice.
Xiaoyu scoots from the ledge to safety. "Out for a walk. What is it?"
"Ellie just called-,"
Before he continues, Xiaoyu starts toward the roof access door and down the service stairs, "What'd she say? Has Jin made contact?"
"Not directly, but he accessed one of his bank accounts an hour ago." Hwoarang's voice is muffled by the start of his motorcycle. "We may be able to pinpoint where Jin has gone."
"You think he left the city? He couldn't have gone too far."
"Maybe… I'm headed to Jin's estate now."
"I'm on my way."
When she gets to Jin's estate, the guards don't hesitate to let her in. She drives up the gravel road around the perfectly trimmed trees and shrubs until the house comes into view. It is a beautifully modern mansion of sleek gray slab, black railings and wide windows that electronically adjust to the sunlight. Off to the right of the house, tucked behind a cluster of trees is the dojo where Jin and Xiaoyu spent a lot of their time practicing. It hasn't been used since Jin left and though the service hands regularly clean it, the feeling of emptiness sits over the mats, wooden floors, and training dummies like a film of dust, void of life. When she pulls up next to Hwarang's black motorcycle, she doesn't look over at the dojo.
She doesn't want to be reminded.
Her steps are quick down the long hallway to Jin's office and as she gets closer she hears the voices of Hwoarang and Jin's assistant, Ellie. Ellie is typing, her eyes glued to the three-spread monitors on her desk while Hwoarang stands behind her, flicking his eyes over each screen. When Xiaoyu enters Hwoarang straightens and comes from around the desk. He is dressed in a track jacket, tshirt, and jeans, his fiery hair smushed from his motorcycle helmet that sits on one of the decorated end tables.
"Did you find anything?" Xiaoyu asks without waiting.
"Nothing yet." Hwoarang grabs Xiaoyu by the shoulders, easing her into relaxed state. His voice is low and constant. "Ellie is trying to pinpoint the location of which bank first. That should help us narrow down Jin's location."
"I'm trying to get through the bank's encryption," Ellie says from behind the monitors, her glasses reflecting the light of the computer screens. Her fingers are quick on the keyboard. "It will take a little bit of decoding that's all."
Xiaoyu nods, focusing on Hwoarang. His steady brown eyes watch her, one eyebrow cocked with skepticism. Xiaoyu playfully pushes him away. "I'm fine, Hwoarang."
"I know, just don't want you to get your hopes up. Even if we find the location, Jin could be miles gone by now."
"You can't think like that."
"Think like what? Before we thought he was dead."
"I never thought he was dead. He promised he would never do something like that."
Hwoarang shrugs. "Well, I thought he was dead. Besides promising you won't do something and actually not doing it, especially in his situation-,"
"Hwoarang," Xiaoyu interrupts, "not right now."
"Your level of optimism never fails to amaze me." He backs away with his hands up, forfeiting the conversation. A quick smirk appears in the corner of his mouth and just as quickly, it is gone. He rejoins Ellie by the computer, sitting on the glass desk in her direction.
Xiaoyu sits on the arm of one of the leather office chairs facing the front side of the desk. She presses her knees together, wringing her hands in her lap. Her heart feels like it's going 1000 miles per second. All she can think about is finding Jin, bringing him back home with people who care about him. She misses him. She just wants to see his face.
"What happens when we find him?" Xiaoyu asks, unsteady.
"If we find him," Ellie corrects.
"If we find him," Xiaoyu mutters to herself.
"We monitor him from afar. It's probably best if he doesn't know that we know where he is." Hwoarang says.
"But what about when he changes? He shouldn't have to go through it alone. Jin needs our help. We can't just watch!" Xiaoyu protests. Her nerves are slowly being replaced with worry. She can't stop her hands from shaking.
"Okay, Ling, let's put you in the room with him so he's reminded of how he almost killed you," Hwoarang says, his voice thick with irritation.
"Hwoarang," Ellie warns.
Xiaoyu stands on her feet. "He wasn't going to kill me!"
"You don't know that," Hwoarang says.
"Because you know for sure that he would have?" Xiaoyu challenges.
"Guys, not right now," Ellie interjects a little louder. They go on ignoring her.
"I know he didn't mean to hurt you, but he sure as hell did!" Hwoarang returns the intensity, nearly shouting.
"It was an accident!"
"Great, I'll get that engraved on your tombstone!"
"Hwoarang!" Ellie barks.
"He wouldn't have killed me!"
Hwoarang scoffs, "No? You ready to show me your back yet?"
Xiaoyu opens her mouth to yell back but instead she quiets, her body trembling with anger, tears fighting their way to her eyes. Her knuckles have gone white from clenching them so tightly. Her nails dig painfully into her palms.
Hwoarang sighs, bringing his voice back to its normal tone. "Look Ling, I want to help Jin too, but we have to be smart about this. The truth is... we can't control him and he's dangerous. We've both seen him change and I know how scary it is."
"It was an accident," Xiaoyu barely whispers.
"Accident or not, you're like a little sister to me and I'm going to protect you anyway I can. Jin would do the same if it was me."
Xiaoyu can't look at him and stares straight ahead into nothingness. A single tear escapes from her eye. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."
Hwoarang's shoulders go slack and he buries his face in his hand.
Xiaoyu continues to stare into the void.
They sit like this for minutes while Ellie types away at the keyboard. No one dare says anything, the tension laced through the room like tangled yarn. This is how it's been since Jin left. Day to day function has become straining on all of them. They are barely alive, stifled by the reminder of Jin's absence.
After a long while, Ellie stops typing.
It takes a few moments before Hwoarang realizes this and lifts his head to look at her.
Xiaoyu blinks as if awakened from a dream, turning toward Ellie as she stands from the desk.
"I found it."