6 Long years since I had spoken to her.
Sitting here watching as they sit around the table ready to begin dinner; I couldn't help but think of what her life might have been like had they made different decisions. But now wasn't the time to dwell on that, that was another part of her life, her life before this one. One of shared moments, feeling, stolen kisses. Who would have thought that through all the troubles and problems they went through when they first met, that I would be sitting here wishing that she would walk through the door, not this new girl. I say new, they've been together 5 years I guess I'm waiting for the day when she realises that mistake happen, forgiving is the hardest thing, but it's always for the best.
I guess in a way it's my fault, I should have been more supportive, there for her when ever she needed it. I was scared to be honest, scared of the unknown the unfamiliar. What you have to understand is that I only wanted what was best for her. For her to have the life that someone that special deserves, its at these weekly family dinners that I'm always reminded that what she had back then was the real thing. This new relationship the only good thing anyone has gotten out of it is those two amazing children. I look at them and know that the only reason she stays is for them. If she would tell me everything I hope that would give her the strength to leave, to take them and run. Any one of our friends would help, but then I remember I'm the reason that she's with her. If I hadn't been so stubborn, intervening and jealous of an 18 year old, that she never would have done what she did. These two girls would have two parents that love them like nothing else matters.
It's at this heart breaking realisation that I'm dragged out of my thoughts by Rachel beginning to cry. Yet again she has spilled her dinner down herself. But at nearly 2 I can't help but think it's cute.
A loud slam comes from beside me shakes me from my inner musing, before I know it the dining room chair flies backwards.
"Why can't you control your damn brat?" The whole table again watching as another argument draws out between them
"Lisa calm down, she doesn't mean to do it." I watch as my daughter, one of the most precious things given to me tries to defuse yet another argument at the table.
It's at this point I know that I have to help her, Amy and Rachel, and the one sentence I never thought I would be able to say. Paula Carlin needs Ashley bloody Davies' help.