Written for Ukaisha's secret santa on tumblr. This was my gift for Ren. First South Park fic.
Falling for the First Time
Growing up poor taught Kenny many life lessons: life isn't fair, there is very little worse than slowly dying of starvation, people take advantage of those who are less fortunate than them, and many other cruel things. As he grew up Kenny started creating his own important life lessons. The first of which was not to expect anything in life, not from family, nor from friends, and definitely not from God. The second was to live every day as though he had no tomorrow; he never knew when one of his constant deaths would lead to a permanent trip to Hell. Lastly, he had learned to treasure every moment he had; because of this he tended to categorize his memories numerically with firsts usually holding the greatest amount of joy to him.
Moments with his friends and the odd happy memory with his family ranked the highest in his mind, most of which involved Karen. Lately there was a new set of important memories, memories that revolved around Craig Tucker and all of the wonderful moments they had made together since they began going out.
On a particularly bad night with his parents fighting in the living room and Karen curled up next to him for warm and comfort, Kenny closed his eyes and thought about his favourite firsts with Craig.
When they first began going out, Kenny had been surprised by how much of a romantic Craig was. Despite his rough appearance and his love of flipping people off, he'd been almost shy as he courted Kenny. Leaving him anonymous notes and gifts in his locker, usually food gifts to Kenny's delight. Kenny at the time had absolutely no idea who his mysterious admirer was, and inquiring with his friends and some of their acquaintances gave him little information. Although Bebe and Wendy had practically cooed at how cute it all was.
For Kenny it was a true mystery. He'd never in his life been courted, he hadn't even known he was being courted until Kyle pointed it out to him. The red-head was an avid reader and knew about these kinds of things. It was a very popular occurrence in classical novels, Kyle had told him, and was usually done by a guy who was trying to show a girl he was interested in her. Given the nature of the gifts on top of the courting, Kenny's suitor was likely one of the boys at school, most likely in his class, who had an interest in classical literature.
Not a very helpful hint considering every single boy in their class would deny being interested in those types of mushy books; except apparently Kyle. The part about being gay was less of an issue given that Kenny considered himself to be pansexual; love was love no matter who it was with.
The courting went on for weeks, resulting in more gifts than Kenny had ever received in his life. Even though they were all small things —some pencils, a few chocolate bars, apples, and similar items —every gift had been special to Kenny.
Trying to figure out who his suitor was quickly became one of Kenny's favourite things to think about during classes. It was a heck of a lot more interesting than class, that was for sure. Kenny could only stand listening to so much celebrity gossip before he wanted to pull his own hair out. Butters may find the Kardashians interesting, but Kenny certainly didn't. He'd come up with a list of possible suitors starting at most likely running to least. At the top of the list had been Kyle and Butters, followed by Stan, Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Kevin, and finally Craig. He hadn't included Cartman on the list because the gifts were too subtle for his hefty friend, and Cartman was currently trying to get Wendy to go out with him. Unfortunately the notes and gifts were not enough to give him much of an idea as to who was leaving them, other than that person seemed to know him really well.
All attempts at catching the suitor in action had turned up with nothing, much to Kenny's annoyance.
When the final note came, telling Kenny to go to Stark's Pond at sundown that day, Kenny had almost been disappointed that the courtship was going to end. At the same time his heart had begun hammering in anticipation of knowing who it was that had been so far successful to court him. He hadn't told any of his friends, for fear of being mocked, but he had every single note tucked away in a ratty shoe box under his bed and sometimes he took them out to read them when he was feeling particularly upset. The notes reminded him that someone cared about him and wanted to love him.
Kenny had arrived at Stark's Pond early, worried that if he was even a little bit late that his suitor would leave, thinking he wasn't coming. Arriving half an hour early had proved to be a little much, by the time the meeting time came around, Kenny had been freezing, his raggedy parka doing little to keep out the cold.
When five minutes passed and no one showed up, Kenny had become discouraged and heartbroken, wondering if the notes had just been a way for someone to make fun of him. He also considered that something may have happened to keep his suitor from coming, but that seemed far less likely. Still he waited another five minutes before accepting the fact that this truly had been a big joke at his expense. He was not looking forward to facing the ridicule at school on Monday.
Just as he was about to leave the sound of someone running up behind him caused him to turn. Standing there trying to catch his breath was one of the last people Kenny had expected to see.
"McCormick, don't go," Craig had begged between gasps for air, looking at Kenny with more emotion than Kenny had ever seen on the dark-haired boys face in all the years he had known him.
It was surprise as much as Craig's begging that had kept Kenny rooted to his spot watching Craig catch his breath. For several minutes nothing happened, until finally Kenny found his voice. "Craig. . .were those letters from you?"
Craig had nodded, straightening to look into Kenny's eyes. "I wasn't sure if you'd actually show. I was so sure that you'd think they were a joke and ignore them. I finally convinced myself that I couldn't be a pussy about this and ran here." He'd licked his lips nervously clutching at the flaps of his blue chullo "Here you are, Kenny McCormick, and. . ." Kenny'd never known Craig to be nervous, but it was endearing to watch him blush and fidget slightly. "I was wondering if you wanted to go steady with me, like boyfriends."
"Yes!" Kenny had replied, not even needing to think twice about it. As much as finding out that Craig was his suitor had been a surprise, Kenny felt happy. He'd always found Craig more than a little attractive and knowing that Craig wanted to be with him was enough to make his heart leap. And if that alone hadn't been enough, the shy but happy smile Craig gave Kenny when he heard him say yes was enough to melt Kenny's heart.
Everything in their relationship had just gone uphill from there.
Kenny pulled Karen closer to his chest when he heard the sound of breaking glass and Kevin's voice join his parent's yelling. When she started to cry he whispered sweet nothings to her and tried to sing her to sleep like he used to do when they were younger. If nothing else it drowned out the sounds of the arguing coming from the living room.
As he sang he remembered the first date Craig had taken him on, which had also ended in their first kiss.
They had been going out unofficially for three weeks before they had their first official date. Craig had informed Kenny that he would be picking him up around five to go to dinner. At the thought of going out for supper, Kenny's face had fallen slightly at the thought of what he was going to wear. Craig had given him a comforting smile, just a small upturn of the lips, reserved for only Kenny, before telling him not to worry too much about what he wore. Kenny, of course, had immediately gone to Stan and Kyle to get help with preparing for his date. He'd spent most of the with them at Kyle's house, before hurrying home with a bag of borrowed clothes that looked presentable and fit him well enough to not make it look like he was drowning in them.
His parents had luckily been too drunk to care about what he was doing and with both Kevin and Karen at friends' houses, Kenny had been able to get ready without any distractions. After showering he'd gone so far as to try and make his wild mane of blond hair look presentable, it hadn't turned out as well as he hoped.
Kenny was a nervous mess by the time Craig had arrived. His boyfriend had barely knocked once before Kenny was opening the door with a nervous smile, his stomach fluttering as he took in Craig standing at his door step in black jeans and a nice dark blue collared shirt.
Craig had smiled at him as Kenny'd come out the door. "You look nice." He hadn't asked where the clothes came from, or mentioned that they were slightly baggy on him, which Kenny had appreciated. Instead he'd offered Kenny his arm and walked him over to his car, before opening the door for Kenny to get in. Anyone else may have been offended by it, but Kenny thought it was endearing, just more proof of what a romantic Craig was.
"You don't look too bad yourself," Kenny had replied, grinning at Craig as he started up the car. "Where is it we're going for dinner?"
He'd received an enigmatic grin for his question. "You'll see." Kenny could only smile at that and trust Craig. As Craig drove, Kenny focused on trying to keep his stomach from tying itself up in knots over how excited he was for this date. Despite his reputation as a pervert, Kenny hadn't really had much experience with relationships; there'd been two in elementary school, and he'd gone out with a few people throughout high school, but it had never felt like being with Craig did.
Was it because Craig was the first person who had ever really pursued him? He certainly hadn't been the first guy Kenny had dated, that had been Stan for a brief period so that Stan could discover himself, brought on by another break-up with Wendy. That had resulted in Stan discovering that he was bi, with a preference for girls. He and Wendy were back together and things seemed to be working out better for them now that Stan wasn't so confused.
Kenny had always felt an attraction to Craig, they'd often partnered together on field trips, despite Craig's apparent loathing for their group. Maybe it was that attraction that made their relationship more special to Kenny. Or maybe it was something more. Kenny hadn't wanted to think the word love, but it did seem to fit.
"We're here." Kenny had been pulled out of his musing by Craig's voice. Blinking, he'd looked out the window to see that they were parked at one of the lookout points that faced away from South Park and overlooked a valley. The view was breathtaking.
Before Kenny could ask any questions, Craig had glanced over at him almost shyly. "I packed us some food for a picnic, I thought we could watch the sunset as we ate, enjoy the quiet without anyone to bother us. It's nothing fancy, but I can guarantee we won't be disturbed by anyone else."
"Craig. . ." Kenny hadn't been able to think of anything to say, he'd been so touched with how thoughtful Craig had been with his choice for their first date. Sure Kenny tended to be rambunctious and loud at school, but he'd always been kind of shy; as a child his parka had been practically a safety blanket for him. He'd out grown the parka, and had learned to try and show himself more, but the shyness and insecurities of his childhood had never fully gone away. He'd been so nervous tonight about looking good not only for Craig, but also because he hadn't wanted to embarrass either of them by looking like the poor boy he was on their date. By taking them out where it was just the two of them, Craig had ensured that he could be comfortable. The thought that Craig had done it this way because he was embarrassed by Kenny never crossed Kenny's mind, Craig wasn't the type to care about what people thought of him.
They'd set up a blanket to sit on, Craig had even brought cushions, and laid out the food that Craig had brought. Kenny hadn't been able to believe how much food was there! It was all packed into disposable takeout containers, so that Kenny could take whatever they didn't eat home to his family, especially Karen.
Kenny had been touched, and almost in tears. Craig had taken his hand, smiling at Kenny. "I care about you a lot Ken, and Karen is not only Ruby's best friend but your sister. Making sure you have enough to eat for awhile is worth the extra money and effort. And don't even think about trying to repay me," he'd added with a stern look, which had quickly melted into the smile Kenny was starting to think was reserved for only a select few people. "Now let's eat."
The food had been delicious, and they'd talked about mindless things as they'd eaten: school, Karen and Ruby, Craig's guinea pig Stripe, and whatever else came to mind. After they'd finished, Craig had moved closer so that they could watch the sun setting over the valley. When he'd wrapped an arm around Kenny's shoulders and pulled him closer, Kenny hadn't minded. In fact he'd leaned his head on Craig's shoulder with a content sigh.
They'd stayed that way until the last rays of the sun were gone and the stars were coming out. Kenny had begun to shiver by then and, despite how comfortable they both were, Craig declared it time to go home. As they were getting ready to pack up and go, a shooting star had flashed overhead.
"Make a wish, Craig," Kenny had said, even as he made his own wish for things to keep going well with Craig. When he was done wishing, he grinned up at Craig. "What did you wish for?"
Craig's face had gotten closer then, their noses almost touching. "I wished that I could kiss you."
"I think I can make that wish come true." Pushing himself up, Kenny tilted his head just so and pressed his lips against Craig's. It was only brief at first; Craig had been too surprised to kiss back. Soon enough, though, his arms were around Kenny's waist and Kenny's arms were around his neck as their lips pressed together more passionately.
When they parted they were both flushed and breathing hard. "W-what did you wish for?" Craig had asked breathlessly.
Kenny had only smiled as he twined his and Craig's fingers together. "My wish already seems to be coming true," he'd replied with a cheeky grin, and lead Craig to the car. "And I think it's going to go well." Despite Craig's insistence for a better answer than that, Kenny had kept his lips tightly sealed on the exact nature of his wish. Even more kisses hadn't been able to unseal his lips.
Karen had finally fallen asleep beside him, with his headphones in her ear and the music he had stored on his old phone playing through them. Unfortunately Kenny had no such luck, he could tell that the fighting was getting even worse, and he was worried that soon someone's attention would be turned to either his room or Karen's. He'd keep Karen safe no matter what, though, even if it meant keeping himself in harms way. There was nothing Kenny hated more than seeing someone he loved hurt, especially if he could prevent it. It brought to mind the first time he'd died after Craig and Kenny had started going out.
They'd been going out for four wonderful months when it happened. Kenny had been lucky enough to avoid dying too much during this time, mostly on account of spending most of his free time with Craig at his house. The night it happened, they were on a date, the first one that Kenny himself was able to pay for himself. They'd gone to the Olive Garden, on a night his mother wasn't working, and had enjoyed a nice candle lit dinner. After sharing dessert, they'd decided to take a walk out to Stark's Pond, enjoying the night air.
They'd heard sirens in the distance, though neither had thought much of it, this was South Park after all. All Kenny had seen was a figure rounding the corner and heading straight toward them. There was a flash of silver and Kenny had reacted without thinking, so used to potential deadliness, he pushed Craig out of the way, barely registering the feeling of the knife piercing his side.
The next thing he knew, he was being cradled in Craig's arms, his boyfriend telling him to hold on and that everything was going to be alright. Kenny, hating the pain he could hear in Craig's voice, had reached up to touch Craig's cheek, marvelling at the wetness under his fingers. "Craig . . . it's okay. It'll be okay."
"Kenny, stay with me!" Craig's usually nasally voice was deeper than usual and thick with tears. "Just hold on."
Kenny had already felt himself slipping away. Even though he knew he'd be back and that Craig would forget all of what had happened, he would never forget the look on Craig's face. Even though Craig wouldn't remember any of this, Kenny couldn't hold back the words he'd been longing to say for months. "I love you."
He'd slipped away after that, the last sounds he heard being Craig's broken sobs.
Kenny hugged Karen tightly, fighting back the memory, even though it had only occurred a few weeks prior. Since then Kenny hadn't found the time to tell Craig how he felt again. He'd noticed that Craig seemed more protective of him, as though he were subconsciously trying to keep Kenny safe.
Before he could depress himself with any more depressing thoughts his phone vibrated, signalling a text and waking Karen. "What's that?"
Picking it up, Kenny read the text with a smile. "Craig says to come over; he and Ruby have movies and snacks and said we can spend the night."
Neither of them needed to think on whether or not they would go. While Karen slipped on her shoes, Kenny packed them a change of clothes; he always made sure to have some of Karen's clothes in his room in case it was too dangerous for her to go to her own. After putting his own boots on, helping Karen out the window and following after, Kenny took Karen's hand and they walked together to the Tucker house. As they did Kenny couldn't help but smile. Despite how badly the night had gone, it looked like it was turning for the better.
Tonight would be the first time he spent the night at Craig's house and the first time they would share a bed. Despite how much of a pervert people thought he was, all Kenny was imagining was how good it would feel to fall asleep with Craig's arms keeping him warm and safe. If so, it would become another one of his favourite firsts.