Whatever I Do
Chapter One: Feelings of Dispair
By BlueRaven
WARNING! Shounen-ai, mild violence, mental yahoo, small indication of rape.
A/N: Well the sequel to "That Day I Died" this will become a chapter fic and it will involve some strong issues like rape, hate, jealousy and slight suicide in later chapters... Marron X Milphey, Marron X Gateau...
And people I will need reviews to know how people want this to end. So if you read this please, PLEASE review!
Anyone that's left.
Enjoy!!
***********************************************************************
The sunlight filtered through the window down on the sleeping Haz Knight. Stirring he woke up and opened his eyes, at first he wondered why he was lying on the floor but then the last night rolled back to his memory. Slowly he crawled out of the futon and walked over to his bed and looked down on the sleeping mage.
"Marron..? Wake up sleepyhead." Milphey said and shook Marron so that he woke up.
"Mmmh, what is it?" the mage open his eyes almost instantly and look at the Haz Knight with a small blush over his cheeks. He feel ashamed for how he had reacted the night before when Milphey had touched him...
"It's morning, Marron-chan. And what would the others think if they found you here?" Milphey smile at the mage, then he walk over to a stool and grab his yukata and put it on. Marron follow the knight with his eyes and as Milphey exit the room he lay back down in the bed and smile softly while he hug a pillow. 'Yes, what would the others think if they found me here?' He gives a small chuckle and buries his face in the pillow. He feel like a small lovesick girl, he never show his feelings... why was he like this now then?
Marron put the pillow back and rose to sit in the bed just as Milphey came back into the room carrying one of Marron's many white robes. The knight hands it to the still blushing mage with a small smile. Marron is just so innocent. Sure he was a strong and silent warrior, always keeping his cool calm in the face of danger, but when it came to his feelings he surely showed that he still was only a young boy with an awful event on his mind. He watch him with an unintended hunger in his golden eyes as the boy dress himself. Soon the mage turn to the knight, looking as calm and untouchable as he always does, smiling he take a step towards the knight and whisper softly, "I'm sorry."
"For what, Marron-chan?" Milphey was indeed puzzled.
"For last night, Milphey-sama... I acted stupidly, but it was just that..." Marron turned his eyes to the floor and sighed.
"You still suffer from what happened to you... Is that it?" Milphey looked serious as he watched the mage nod and raise his thin beautiful hand to his eyes and rub them to prevent any tears to even try to stain his face.
"Let's go and have some breakfast, ne Marron-chan?" Milphey had carefully placed his hand on Marron's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. The boy nodded and the two of them left the rooms.
*****
Carrot Glace sat and sulked in the Stella Complex's garden with Gateau flexing his muscles in a mirror-pond with his sister, Eclair, and the two Misu sisters playing some Igo. Carrot was bored out of his head and he started to wonder where his brother could be, the mage usually was the one awake before all the others, doing his meditation or some reading.
Carrot's thought was soon gone as the younger Glace and the Haz Knight Captain walked into the park carrying a basket filled with food and some sake. Carrot stood and walked over to the table where the two had stopped and placed the basket, he was curious.
"Hey, ototo. What ya got there? Is it breakfast?" the spiky harried teen leaned over his younger brother to look over his shoulder and saw all kinds of food piling up on the table. Soon all of the Hunters was gathering by the table as the knight and the mage set it.
"Yes Nii-san, breakfast." The mage looked a bit down but still tried to look as his usual self. Gateau noticed it almost instantly and he also noticed the tiny smile the mage gave to the knight every time the said person locked eyes with him or came near him.
"Oi Marron, you OK?" Gateau asked and looked truly concerned. Marron looked up at the warrior and he smiled softly at him as he nodded, "Yes I'm fine, thank you." He said and continued.
Soon the table was set and the Hunters was all seated around it eating happily. Gateau watched the mage eat slowly, the boy sat next to the Haz Knight and the two of them exchanged glances every once in a while. He didn't like that at all so he continued staring with his anger almost showing in his face.
Milphey smiled at the young mage as that one looked at him, the boy didn't really hide his feelings well. Looking at each of the present persons he soon noticed Gateau's angry glare at him. 'Hm so Gateau is going to be a problem...' he thought smirking before he continued eating.
*****
The late morning slowly moved its way to midday and the six hunters enjoyed their free day in the garden drinking their sake that Milphey and Marron had brought them along with their breakfast. Marron, having the experience of alcohol from before, did not have any. Instead he watched the others as they had their share.
Soon the two Misu sisters decided that Carrot had had enough and dragged him off to his room, which left Marron, Milphey and Gateau alone.
There was a long silence between them as the cheery mood seemed to disappear with the three others. Gateau was the first to break the silence as he gave a heavy sigh, then shifted in his seat and watched the two others look at him. "I take it you two have something going on?" he said coldly after a while, barely hiding his anger. The young mage stared at him wide eyed and Milphey gave a chuckle. "Why do you think that Gateau-san? I am just letting him sleep in my room because of nightmares..."
"He sleeps in your room!?" Gateau rose suddenly making the chair fall heavily to the garden floor with a heavy metallic sound.
"What? You didn't know? Then what did you talk about..?" both the mage and the knight jumped in surprise when the tall warrior heaved the table to the side in a fit of anger and grabbed the knight by the collar and brought him close to his face growling deep in his throat.
"I was indicating the looks you two been shooting eachother all morning, not that... he had slept..." Milphey fell hard to the ground as Gateau sat him down then pushed him. He felt violated but didn't care, he understood Gateau's feelings perfectly. Gateau who'd spent most of his days as a Hunter chasing after Marron was of course angry that Marron had in fact seemingly chosen another. Raising nimbly to his feet he watched the tall man a long time before he turned and walked into the Stellar Complex, leaving the mage with the agitated Gateau.
"I'm sorry." Marron said after a long moment of uncomfortable silence between the otherwise very close friends. "But you have to understand that I chose whom and when I love, I only. Not you. And yes Gateau, my dearest friend, I do have feelings for Milphey. I think I might even love him..." here the mage made a pause and smiled while keeping his eyes lowered, "I have not yet had him, Gateau. Just because you sleep in the same room doesn't mean you... make love." A blush stained the ivory cheeks of the mage in a cherry-blossomed hue and he rose his marvellous golden eyes and met the deep-blue eyes of the warrior. "If that was the case then that means I've had sex with my brother and a whole bunch of other people. I just wonder Gateau..." the mage lowered his eyes again and his whole expression darkened with anger.
"How could you even dare to interfere with me and Milphey..? With MY personal life. Yes, you have been after me for such a long time and I had feelings for you but then... THAT happened and I just couldn't bring me to think of anything even close to love or sex or anything... I just know that yesterday I let Milphey come close to me and I had a fit... I... I saw... HIS hands instead of Milphey's and HIS eyes... I screamed and fell... I even hurt my arm. You see Gateau, I am so frightened of anything that can even slightly resemble his touch... I..." Marron lifted a hand to his eyes and rubbed them to keep the irritating tears that always threatened to fall whenever he thought about what had happened to him.
"I panicked, Gateau. I couldn't let myself forget even for a moment... You must understand that I chose the one I'll love." And I can't choose. The mage added mentally and turned he too to walk into the complex but he was stopped by Gateau's hand on his shoulder. "I love you, Marron." The youngest Glace froze. Turning around slowly he was met by the tender smile of the taller warrior, he felt his cheeks burn.
"I..." he began but was stopped by Gateau's lips on his as the older man kissed him. he froze again, this time out of pure horror. He could almost feel the sharp pain of the wire around his whole body that cut deep into his flesh as soon as he moved in the slightest (a/n: read "Cold Hand"). Marron was so caught up in his mental shock that he didn't notice Gateau slip his arms around his lithe body, not until Gateau forced his tongue into his slightly opened mouth did he react.
He bit Gateau's tongue.
Gateau pulled back with a curse and Marron fell to his knees staring with glassy eyes at nothing. Turning back to the mage, Gateau was just about to yell at him when he saw the pitiful form of the young man. 'What have I done!?' he thought and knelt by the mage carefully placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Marron-chan. I shouldn't have..." Golden eyes shifted and met sky-blue with a blank dead stare.
"I... hate you... for ruining... my life." Marron's voice was cold and distant then he fell backwards, unconscious.
T-B-C
***********************************************************************
A/N: next part up as soon as I've written it.... any day soon... +_+ ... anyway Review and I'll might hurry up!
**/BlueRaven\**
Chapter One: Feelings of Dispair
By BlueRaven
WARNING! Shounen-ai, mild violence, mental yahoo, small indication of rape.
A/N: Well the sequel to "That Day I Died" this will become a chapter fic and it will involve some strong issues like rape, hate, jealousy and slight suicide in later chapters... Marron X Milphey, Marron X Gateau...
And people I will need reviews to know how people want this to end. So if you read this please, PLEASE review!
Anyone that's left.
Enjoy!!
***********************************************************************
The sunlight filtered through the window down on the sleeping Haz Knight. Stirring he woke up and opened his eyes, at first he wondered why he was lying on the floor but then the last night rolled back to his memory. Slowly he crawled out of the futon and walked over to his bed and looked down on the sleeping mage.
"Marron..? Wake up sleepyhead." Milphey said and shook Marron so that he woke up.
"Mmmh, what is it?" the mage open his eyes almost instantly and look at the Haz Knight with a small blush over his cheeks. He feel ashamed for how he had reacted the night before when Milphey had touched him...
"It's morning, Marron-chan. And what would the others think if they found you here?" Milphey smile at the mage, then he walk over to a stool and grab his yukata and put it on. Marron follow the knight with his eyes and as Milphey exit the room he lay back down in the bed and smile softly while he hug a pillow. 'Yes, what would the others think if they found me here?' He gives a small chuckle and buries his face in the pillow. He feel like a small lovesick girl, he never show his feelings... why was he like this now then?
Marron put the pillow back and rose to sit in the bed just as Milphey came back into the room carrying one of Marron's many white robes. The knight hands it to the still blushing mage with a small smile. Marron is just so innocent. Sure he was a strong and silent warrior, always keeping his cool calm in the face of danger, but when it came to his feelings he surely showed that he still was only a young boy with an awful event on his mind. He watch him with an unintended hunger in his golden eyes as the boy dress himself. Soon the mage turn to the knight, looking as calm and untouchable as he always does, smiling he take a step towards the knight and whisper softly, "I'm sorry."
"For what, Marron-chan?" Milphey was indeed puzzled.
"For last night, Milphey-sama... I acted stupidly, but it was just that..." Marron turned his eyes to the floor and sighed.
"You still suffer from what happened to you... Is that it?" Milphey looked serious as he watched the mage nod and raise his thin beautiful hand to his eyes and rub them to prevent any tears to even try to stain his face.
"Let's go and have some breakfast, ne Marron-chan?" Milphey had carefully placed his hand on Marron's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. The boy nodded and the two of them left the rooms.
*****
Carrot Glace sat and sulked in the Stella Complex's garden with Gateau flexing his muscles in a mirror-pond with his sister, Eclair, and the two Misu sisters playing some Igo. Carrot was bored out of his head and he started to wonder where his brother could be, the mage usually was the one awake before all the others, doing his meditation or some reading.
Carrot's thought was soon gone as the younger Glace and the Haz Knight Captain walked into the park carrying a basket filled with food and some sake. Carrot stood and walked over to the table where the two had stopped and placed the basket, he was curious.
"Hey, ototo. What ya got there? Is it breakfast?" the spiky harried teen leaned over his younger brother to look over his shoulder and saw all kinds of food piling up on the table. Soon all of the Hunters was gathering by the table as the knight and the mage set it.
"Yes Nii-san, breakfast." The mage looked a bit down but still tried to look as his usual self. Gateau noticed it almost instantly and he also noticed the tiny smile the mage gave to the knight every time the said person locked eyes with him or came near him.
"Oi Marron, you OK?" Gateau asked and looked truly concerned. Marron looked up at the warrior and he smiled softly at him as he nodded, "Yes I'm fine, thank you." He said and continued.
Soon the table was set and the Hunters was all seated around it eating happily. Gateau watched the mage eat slowly, the boy sat next to the Haz Knight and the two of them exchanged glances every once in a while. He didn't like that at all so he continued staring with his anger almost showing in his face.
Milphey smiled at the young mage as that one looked at him, the boy didn't really hide his feelings well. Looking at each of the present persons he soon noticed Gateau's angry glare at him. 'Hm so Gateau is going to be a problem...' he thought smirking before he continued eating.
*****
The late morning slowly moved its way to midday and the six hunters enjoyed their free day in the garden drinking their sake that Milphey and Marron had brought them along with their breakfast. Marron, having the experience of alcohol from before, did not have any. Instead he watched the others as they had their share.
Soon the two Misu sisters decided that Carrot had had enough and dragged him off to his room, which left Marron, Milphey and Gateau alone.
There was a long silence between them as the cheery mood seemed to disappear with the three others. Gateau was the first to break the silence as he gave a heavy sigh, then shifted in his seat and watched the two others look at him. "I take it you two have something going on?" he said coldly after a while, barely hiding his anger. The young mage stared at him wide eyed and Milphey gave a chuckle. "Why do you think that Gateau-san? I am just letting him sleep in my room because of nightmares..."
"He sleeps in your room!?" Gateau rose suddenly making the chair fall heavily to the garden floor with a heavy metallic sound.
"What? You didn't know? Then what did you talk about..?" both the mage and the knight jumped in surprise when the tall warrior heaved the table to the side in a fit of anger and grabbed the knight by the collar and brought him close to his face growling deep in his throat.
"I was indicating the looks you two been shooting eachother all morning, not that... he had slept..." Milphey fell hard to the ground as Gateau sat him down then pushed him. He felt violated but didn't care, he understood Gateau's feelings perfectly. Gateau who'd spent most of his days as a Hunter chasing after Marron was of course angry that Marron had in fact seemingly chosen another. Raising nimbly to his feet he watched the tall man a long time before he turned and walked into the Stellar Complex, leaving the mage with the agitated Gateau.
"I'm sorry." Marron said after a long moment of uncomfortable silence between the otherwise very close friends. "But you have to understand that I chose whom and when I love, I only. Not you. And yes Gateau, my dearest friend, I do have feelings for Milphey. I think I might even love him..." here the mage made a pause and smiled while keeping his eyes lowered, "I have not yet had him, Gateau. Just because you sleep in the same room doesn't mean you... make love." A blush stained the ivory cheeks of the mage in a cherry-blossomed hue and he rose his marvellous golden eyes and met the deep-blue eyes of the warrior. "If that was the case then that means I've had sex with my brother and a whole bunch of other people. I just wonder Gateau..." the mage lowered his eyes again and his whole expression darkened with anger.
"How could you even dare to interfere with me and Milphey..? With MY personal life. Yes, you have been after me for such a long time and I had feelings for you but then... THAT happened and I just couldn't bring me to think of anything even close to love or sex or anything... I just know that yesterday I let Milphey come close to me and I had a fit... I... I saw... HIS hands instead of Milphey's and HIS eyes... I screamed and fell... I even hurt my arm. You see Gateau, I am so frightened of anything that can even slightly resemble his touch... I..." Marron lifted a hand to his eyes and rubbed them to keep the irritating tears that always threatened to fall whenever he thought about what had happened to him.
"I panicked, Gateau. I couldn't let myself forget even for a moment... You must understand that I chose the one I'll love." And I can't choose. The mage added mentally and turned he too to walk into the complex but he was stopped by Gateau's hand on his shoulder. "I love you, Marron." The youngest Glace froze. Turning around slowly he was met by the tender smile of the taller warrior, he felt his cheeks burn.
"I..." he began but was stopped by Gateau's lips on his as the older man kissed him. he froze again, this time out of pure horror. He could almost feel the sharp pain of the wire around his whole body that cut deep into his flesh as soon as he moved in the slightest (a/n: read "Cold Hand"). Marron was so caught up in his mental shock that he didn't notice Gateau slip his arms around his lithe body, not until Gateau forced his tongue into his slightly opened mouth did he react.
He bit Gateau's tongue.
Gateau pulled back with a curse and Marron fell to his knees staring with glassy eyes at nothing. Turning back to the mage, Gateau was just about to yell at him when he saw the pitiful form of the young man. 'What have I done!?' he thought and knelt by the mage carefully placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Marron-chan. I shouldn't have..." Golden eyes shifted and met sky-blue with a blank dead stare.
"I... hate you... for ruining... my life." Marron's voice was cold and distant then he fell backwards, unconscious.
T-B-C
***********************************************************************
A/N: next part up as soon as I've written it.... any day soon... +_+ ... anyway Review and I'll might hurry up!
**/BlueRaven\**