Atonement

by Mariana Edwards

Naiive First Year, Maudie spots her crush, Barty Crouch Junior in a passionate embrace with Regulus Black. She sets off a series of events that will change the Star-Crossed Lover's Fate, as well as Several Other's. It will take her whole life for her to make amends. But she will do it. Based loosely off of Atonement By Ian McEwan. I Own Nothing But OCs. Will somebody please review.

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:Now having lived fifty-two years, one does get a mind filled with memories. Sometimes you look at some every day. Others you forget all about and they seep out until you aren't even aware of their existence. And some you push to the bottom of your mind and refuse to look at, building up strong walls to confine them. But after a while, the walls grow weak, and you forget to maintain them. And they'll break down. And then the memory will surface. Just the other day, I found one of those memories had broken free of it's walls and burst to the surface. This is that memory.

I was in my first year in Ravenclaw house. I was so excited. How many times had I been eagerly awaiting to come here? To finally see the magical school my parents had told me so much about. Now one of the few perks of having muggle-born parents is that they were so amazed to realize that there was a possibility of magic let alone a whole school of it, they really filled the stories with so much wonder. The wonder they experienced. Now with wizard relatives I'm sure I'd have been excited too, but when you are used to the concept of magic, and your parents refer to getting their letter as something that they knew would happen, it really doesn't so much as become a magic school they are describing, but school. 'm sure a muggle who was going to a muggle to the first time would not have felt different. But..oh I don't know if I can explain this well enough or clear enough. I suppose you'll have to be a muggleborn or have a muggleborn parent to know what I mean. Or perhaps you won't. I never was good at describing my emotions. Not because I'm a witch of few words (quite the contrary) but somehow emotions make more sense, rattling around in my mind than they do in my mouth.

Anyways, I-I think I've made my point quite clear. I was ready for Hogwarts. I had boarded the train and made some good friends and rowed across the lake in the boats with a girl named Stephanie Sachs (a sweet girl but she really was the biggest gossip in the school) and sat down on the Stool when they called my name (Mallard, Maudie) and that truly remarkable hat had placed me in Ravenclaw. The latter events described go into far more detail but if I do so, I shall lose myself in them, forgetting the memory and I pride myself on being a witch who gets to the point. I must admit that I was a bit disappointed in my sorting. Although my dad was a Ravenclaw, my Mum was from Gryffindor, where (if my leaving mind can remember the song correctly) dwell the brave at heart! Ravenclaws were the brains of Hogwarts, prizing learning, wisdom and logic over everything else. To a precocious eleven year old as myself, the idea of being brave and daring appealed much more to me. The moment I learned of the sorting ceremony I vowed that I would find my way into Gryffindor. I tried to be as outgoing as I could, to be as brave as I could often embarking on dares my sisters would order me to do never mind the risk (this I'm sure became something of a source of amusement to be sure) and I dumped my nightlight immediately, vowing to sleep in the dark each night, never mind my fear. I did everything I could to make myself braver although looking back some of the methods were a bit foolish. I even earned myself the nickname of "Little Gryffindor" before I was even sorted. I certainly would tell anyone who'd listen how I planned that to be my destination. You can imagine my sheer horror when the hat shouted "Ravenclaw!" the moment it was placed on my head. Didn't even have a conversation with me, or spend some time pondering as it had done for my parents. I became convinced that the Sorting Hat was a blundering old Codger who's magic was wearing off. I was a true Gryffindor at heart no matter what it said. Of course now that I have begun to make the journey of unraveling my true self (oh yes, fifty is not nearly enough time) I can admit without shame that the hat could not have placed me in a better house.

Oh my, it appears that I am rambling. I'd better get to the story. As I had said before, I was furious with the hat for putting me in Ravenclaw. It was not the house for me. Every time I saw my sisters (one was a Hufflepuff and two were also Ravenclaws) they'd point their fingers and sneer "What are you doing in the Ravenclaw tower? I thought you were a Gryffindor. We'd better tell Professor Flitwick and get you out. Sneaking into other House's towers can lose your house fifty points you know!"

I started grumbling about everything I could. The stupid riddles that the knocker kept on asking me whenever I went into the Common room. If I couldn't guess the answer, it wouldn't let me in. There was nothing lore infuriating than having to show up to Transfiguration without your books or quill because when you ran to the common room, to get them, when you realized that you'd forgotten,you couldn't get in because you don't know "what can't you keep until you give"

"What's with the symbol of Ravenclaw being an eagle when it should be a Raven?"

"Why are our house colors blue and bronze but our scarves, ties, and robe-linings are blue and silver? Silver is the Slytherin color!"

I could probably go on and on for hours on end, describing the many faults of Ravenclaw. But doing so makes me feel shame and I don't like feeling any more shame than necessary. If I had a galleon for every time I complained to a fellow Ravenclaw about how I should have been a Gryffindor, I'd be richer than the Malfoy family. But I don't like keeping any money that I didn't earn through hard work. The only thing I remotely liked about Ravenclaw was that my crush was in it. He was a Seventh year and very strong and handsome. He was also inxredibly intelligent.I heard that he had gotten TWELVE O. ! He was modest too, never bragging about his accomplishments. He was quoet and silent. Mysterious too. To a precocious eleven year old, he seemed like an Adonis! I allways tried to look presentable whenevee I saw him and I allowed one of my friends who enjoyed designing hair to practice on me just so he would give me a double take. HE NEVER DID!

Understandably, after four months of endless complaining, around Christmas break when everybody had gone home (I stayed at school because I couldn't bare to come home to my parents wearing robes lined with blue, after all those years of wearing red. Also, the idea of entering a room filled with Gryffindor memorabilia would now be a painful reminder that I wasn't in it) my fellow Ravenclaw snapped. It was my friend Stephanie, who was staying here because her insufferable second cousin once removed was coming to stay with her family over the holidays and staying at the school was the only way she could have some peace of him. She had patiently and respectfully, and enduringly put up with nothing but whines and moans from me that could have put Moaning Myrtle, the whiny haunt who was always bawling in one of the girl's bathrooms, to shame (ironically, somebody told me that she was also a Ravenclaw) But everybody has a limit and Stephanie had long reached hers.

"All right fine! If you think that you're a true Gryffindor, prove it!" she snapped

"Prove it?" I asked, slightly stunned. She's never interrupted my sessions before.

"Yeah. If you really think that you're too brave to be among us cowardly Ravenclaws, I'm sure you won't mind doing something to prove your legendary courage that all Gryffindors are supposed to have. Judging from the Sorting Hat's song, I thought that Gryffindors were supposed to do brave deeds. Not sit around and whine and complain, but I sort of zoned out part way through and may have missed something important about how a key feature of Gryffindors is that they always complain and groan"

"Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Well, there is one thing you can do but you'd have to be really brave to do it. Only a true Gryffindor would dare to and if you are one, then why in Merlin's beard did the Hat put you in Ravenclaw? I'm starting to think that may count for something.."

"No, way!" I shouted, infuriated that she was saying such an insulting thing.

"What is it? What is it!? I want to do it. If only a Gryffindor would do it, sign me up!"

"Well.." grinned Stephie sneakily. "If you really are brave, then you'll sneak into the Slytherin Common room and pretend to be a Slytherin until the hollidays end"

"What!" I yelped like a kicked dog.

"You heard me. The holidays have started so there's no classes, almost all the Slytherins are gone, you can borrow some Green-lined robes from the laundry room and it's really that simple! All you need is the guts to do it! It's really quite easy. All Gryffindors do it. It's an initiation for all the first years, my cousin told me*. For a true Gryffindor, it's easy as pie! Of course if you aren't..then I can see why you'd be too scared to do it!"

I gave her a hard look. And fifteen minutes later I was dressed in Slytherin garb and heading toward the direction I had seen the Slytherins go after lessons and dinner. I kept my head down, afraid that somebody might not remember me from before. As luck would have it, I had absolutely no idea which way I should go. I noticed a Slytherin girl* walking out of the great hall. She was tall and thin, with chocolate brown hair and kind eyes. If I hadn't seen her green tie, than I would never in a thousand years have guessed that she was a Slytherin. I followed her around, trying not to look sneaky (it's amazing how when you try not to appear so the more you really do) she seemed to be in a hurry and throwing all the stops in order to make sure nobody was following her. It took every ounce of stealth in me to keep me from being noticed. Finally after she seemed to have walked all over the castle, she did not walk up to her common room, but instead to a Hufflepuff boy* who seemed to have been waiting for her, threw her arms around him, and he kissed her full on the mouth.

"Oh crumbs!" I thought exasperatedly.

"Now, I'll have to wait until she finishes snogging him" .

I was there long enough to dimly appreciate something that my sister Jennet had told me about how Hufflepuffs are the only people who can tolerate Slytherins because only they have the patience and loyalty. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of the girl sucking on the Hufflepuff's neck, she gave him a very sloppy good bye, and they parted ways. I hid behind a statue of some wizard doing a can-can as she walked by me, and after she was some considerable distance from me, I began to follow. I trailed after her to the lowest floor in the castle. She walked up to a large, stone wall, rolled her eyes, and said "Magic is might" , To my utter amazement, the wall separated into two, and disappeared into the consecutive walls surrounding it, revealing the creepiest common room I had ever seen. It was a dark, low-ceilinged room, the only sources of light were from dull, green, low-hanging lamps. How anybody could read in there was beyond me. The place was murky and dull, with a large wall sculpture of a serpent, poised at the ready, it's fangs bared. I shuddered. It almost looked alive. Then, the moment the girl had passed through the wall, it closed. I waited thirty seconds then walked up to it and repeated the phrase. I was terrified that there would be magical defenses that would be able to tell whether or not I was a Slytherin, that would turn me into a toad or worse, or blast me with the killing curse, or reduce me to a pile of ashes. To my shock, not only did none of these things happen, but the wall opened up and allow me to enter, just as it had the Slytherin. There didn't seem to be any Slytherins around. My inadvertant guide was nowhere to be seen. I didn't see anybody who might call me out, so I decided to have a look around. Slowly I felt my apprehension subside, and my pride rise. I was the first and only non-Slytherin who had managed to enter their common room for who knows how long! Possibly the first and only student to enter a house's common room that wasn't mine! If this didn't make me a Gryffindor, I don't know what does!

This will show everyone that I'm a true Gryffindor, not a silly Ravenclaw who spends her free time cracking eggs on the floor*, or trying to find out the magical properties of troll bogies (I had seen my fellow Ravenclaws do this in the common room for hours on end) I decided that if I was going to spend out my holiday here, I might as well have a look around. I waled over to one of the windows. It appeared to have been stained green. The glass-stainer appeared to have gone a tad bit overboard as I couldn't see out of it at all. Suddenly I saw an eel slither by. Out of thin air-at I level. I bit my tongue, holding back a squeak of shock! I suddenly remembered Stephanie telling me that the Slytherin common Room was in the dungeons. Dungeons, meaning below level! "We must be in the lake!" I thought. "The Slytherin Common Room is inside the lake!"

I had absolutely no time to come to terms with this surprising realization because I heard voices coming from behind me. Somebody must be coming out of their dorms! I panicked, thinking that whoever it was, might recognise me from my sorting and remember that I was a Ravenclaw. Wit only seconds, to act, every single one of my blood vessels turning into ice, so much adrenaline pumping through them, that I felt that they were going to shatter, on the verge of turning into stone, I had only seconds to act. I was about to hide behind the curtains when my voice of reason valiantly gave me one last piece of advice before shutting down completely "They'll see your toes. One movement, and you're caught. Why not hide behind a couch?" I had just enough sense in me to listen to the voice. Just like how I had seen American Football Players* dive for the ball I dived behind an old fashioned looking sofa and crouched behind it. My curiosity got the best of me after a few seconds, and I found myself peering up over it. Every inch of common sense in me was shrieking at me to get down. I would be seen! But my curiosity always did get the better of me and this time was no exeption. I peered over the couch, analyzed the "intruder's" images, and ducked it down as quickly as I had lifted it slowly. From what I had seen, there were not one, but two Slytherins in the common room. I never was particularly good at guessing ages, and to a First Year like myself at the time, it seemed as though they were old enough to be teachers (which probably meant that they were in the Seventh Year) One was tall, with straw colored hair, brown eyes (this combination was always something of an abnormality to me as it seemed to me that it was eyes of azure that went with fair hair) and a constellation of freckles scattered mostly across his nose and cheekbones. He was gangly and awkward looking.

The other boy was even slimmer, with a rather, regal, slightly haughty look. His hair was jet-black and fell in waves over his face in an incredibly elaborate, attractiveness, yet it seemed a though he had not done a thing about it. He was slightly shorter than the first boy and fair amount more good-looking. I thought that the second boy resembled somebody. Racking my mind, I began comparing him to every black haired person I knew until finally, I found a match. He resembled Sirius Black, one of my sister, Moira (the Hufflepuff)'s former boyfriends He was in her year, but I don't think that my parents fully approved of the match. Whenever, she came home from the holidays, we'd find her attached to his arm. She practically adored him. All the letters we received from her, during her second to seventh year, consisted of pages about how amazing and truly wonderful he was, and how he was her one true love. I never could stomach one of those letters without retching. If he returned her feelings for her, he certainly didn't show it. Whenever, she dragged him from his friends to come meet us when she returned, he always seemed rather bored and annoyed. From the point of view of his girlfriend's own sister, it appeared to me that he thought her rather annoying and clingy. He dumped her the moment his seventh year ended (and her sixth) and she came home from the platform, a sobbing mess, with my other sisters (who had started coming to Hogwarts as well) surrounding her. One was allowing her to lean her head on her shoulder, another was halfheartedly patting her on the back, and all looked incredibly annoyed (it seemed that they had been comforting her all the way home and would have much rather been with their friends) But it wasn't just his relationship with my sister that made him famous. He and four other of his friends, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew (I'm sure most of you are aware who all of these people were as they are a bit famous in our world) They were part of a gang called the Marauders. They were legendary for their pranks and antics during their time at school. So famous were they, that the seven years that they had gone to the school were now called "The Marauder's Era" I never have been able to stomach the regret that I missed it by a year. Anyways, this boy was probably Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother. Regulus had seemed like the opposite of Sirius, judging by what my sisters had told me of him (which wasn't much) Sirius was somewhat of a black sheep (pardon the pun) in his family, which was your standard, pureblood fanatic "Everybody in our family has been a wizard and a Slytherin and we think Muggles and any wizards associated with them are scum" folks. They thought Voldemort was our savior and that he had the right ideas in mind. Sirius was all about defying stereotypes. Not only was he the first ever Black to be put into Gryffindor, but also he was wild and outgoing. He went out of his way that he showed no regard for his family members. He even took muggle studies just to annoy them! According to my sisters, Sirius received a howler fro his mother at least twice a week about how he'd disgraced the black family name! Of course he ended up proving himself a true Black, as we all know. You can imagine everybody's shock when it was revealed that not only was he a death eater, but he was You-Know-Who's most faithful follower! Not many people are aware of this, but my dear friend Stephanie (who ended up joining the Department of Law Enforcement, working her way up to eventually becoming an auror) revealed to me that he was the one who sold out his friend, James Potter's* whereabouts to You-Know-Who, causing him and his wife Lily to get murdered in cold blood

Regulus was quite the opposite. He was a Black through and through. He was placed in Slytherin, he used the words "mudblood" and "blood traitor", he allways seemed puffed up and haughty (two big for his britches in my opinion) and he played seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team. Unfortunately, he was good too. He had beat Ravenclaw twice, catching the snitch from right under our seeker, Sturgis Podmore's nose. Suddenly I realized something. The blond boy was Barty Crouch Junior! Son of the head of the Department of Law Enforcement and my crush! His father was legendary for his obsession with catching dark wizards. He had authorized the permission for Aurors to perform the Unforgivable Curses on suspects, and threw anybody, remotely associated with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named into prison for life with no trial. Also, Barty Crouch Jr. was a Ravenclaw. IN short, what was he doing in the Slytherin common room? This meant that not only was I not the first student to sneak into the Slytherin common room, but I was not even the first Ravenclaw. Poo.

I watched the two boys for a brief period of time. they seemed to be arguing. Instinctively, I felt a wave of shame hit. Me. What would Barty think of me, hiding behind the couch? Would he be angry? How did my hair look?

"Why have you been trying to avoid me, ever since we boarded the train?"shouted Barty

"I don't know what you're talking about! Now, if you don't mind, I have to go to the Library!" yelled Regulus (by the sound of his grunts and and jerky speech, Barty had grabbed his arm and wouldn't let go)

"Well, then, let me refresh your memory, first, on the train, you run off into a crowded compartment the moment we board, and slam the door in my face, you refuse to sit next to me in Potions, and you won't make eye contact, whenever I call out to you in the hall, you pretend like you don't here me and accelerate your pace, and whenever I try to sit down with you at the Great Hall, you immediately get up, and run into your common room!"

"How in Merlin's Beard did you even get in! Only Slytherins are allowed!"

"I told a first year Slytherin that I'd perform a silencing charm on him and then the Cruciatus Curse if he didn't tell me"

"Well that's not sadistic and cruel in the least. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the library. I've got to finish an extra credit report McGonnagal gave me"

"No, you don't! You just want an excuse not to be alone with me!"

"That's not true, let me go!"

"Why have you been avoiding me! We've been friends since the third year!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong! Is it because you don't want to be friends anymore? Because you could have just told me and saved me a lot of puzzlement and hurt feelings"

"No, it's not that it's just-"

"Well is it because since my Dad's Head of the Department of Law Enforcement, you're scared I'm going to tell him about the dark mark on your arm and get you carted off to Azkaban?"

"NO!"

"I've told you, time and time again that I don't give a damn about my father! How many times do I have to say it in order for it to penetrate you're thick skull?"

"THAT'S. NOT. IT!" roared Regulus. I jumped. I was terrified that his voice would bring somebody into the Common Room from the dormitories, and I'd get caught.

"Ah HA!" yelled Barty.

"So there is something bothering you! You said 'That's not it'. It, as in there is a reason why you haven't been talking to me"

"All right, all right!" cried Regulus exasperatedly.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just that...the problem isn't you. It-it-it-it's me. I don't understand ex-you don't understand...it's-I can't..I don't even know...is it...I can't..."

"What don't I understand?" asked Barty, all the frustration in his voice replaced by patience.

"I-I-I...I-I...I-I...I've never kissed anybody before!" stammered Regulus lamely. "What do you mean?" asked Barty puzzledly.

"My parents want me to marry a girl from a pure blood family" explained Regulus lamely.

I tried to form a theory out of Regulus's words. Did Barty have a girlfriend who Regulus's parents wanted to marry. I had heard of purebloods arranging marriages for their children with other pure bloods. Did Regulus's parents arrange a marriage him for a girl who was currently dating Barty? Did her parents want Regulus to steal her from him? After trying to find a new theory for several minutes in the lengthy silence that followed and failing, I came to the conclusion that that my first hypothesis was it. "So what?" asked Barty "The pureblood bit I don't care about. It's just that..I'm not sure that it's a girl I want" At this point, my hypothesis turned to ashes. What the heck did he mean when he said that he didn't want a girl? "Excuse me?" asked Barty, voicing my skepticism. At this point, I became brave enough to peek out from the couch and take a look at Regulus's face. His dark, gray eyes were shinier than a Unicorn's horn and tears were dripping out of them. I quickly ducked again behind the couch, afraid that I was done for but as neither of them walked over to it and dragged me out or voiced the suspicion that somebody was watching, I assumed that I was in the clear. I waited for the next person to speak. It was Regulus. He seemed to be using every ounce of his will not to break out in sobs.

"I-I've started thinking about you ever the summer. Differently. I can't stop wondering how...how you're day is going and and-and if you're happy and-...if you aren't-w-why not? I've started noticing things about you. Things...I didn't notice before-things I should notice... in girls. Like how you're hair falls all over the place-and how bright your eyes are, and how you're so smart that you got twelve O. How you have a sweet smile and how you are so blunt and honest and sarcastic...and ...how much... I like that. I have dreams about you. Dreams in which we do things...I should do with girls. But I've never felt that way about a girl...ever...I've never felt...that way -about anybody but...you"

At this point Regulus cracked. The dam burst and the floodgates came pouring out. I could hear him sobbing and crying. Harder than I had ever heard anybody cry in my whole life. I was beginning to feel rather awkward. Never in all my eleven years, had I ever seen a boy crying. I was under the false impression that boys do not cry. I thought that they were incapable of doing so. Yet, here was one in the flesh, crying his eyes out. I didn't want to see him crying, partly out of awkwardness, partly because I didn't think he'd appreciate anybody seeing him this vulnerable. I didn't want to treat it like a spectacle. After what felt like ten hours (I wished with all my heart that the windows didn't show us the Black Lake and instead gave me a view of the sun so that I could check the time. There really is nothing quite so infuriating, and insanity-driving as not knowing how long you've been listening in on an awkward conversation. Finally, after what seemed like two lifetimes, Regulus's sobs began to subside, slowly at first, then more and more until they ceased to exist.

When I peeked up again, Barty Crouch, was handing Regulus a cigarette. Smoking in the Common Rooms! There was no way that that could be tolerated!

"I never can or will understand you Regulus" Barty said quietly.

"Too Bad" sniffed the black-haired boy.

"And when I don't understand people, it drives me crazy. I pride myself on my understanding. And in a way you are mocking me for my failure"

Regulus blushed and pulled out his cigarette.

"I don't usually smoke" he muttered quietly.

The events that happened next happened so fast that I had absolutely no idea what happenned at first. For a split second, I thought I had dozed of. What was going on?

Barty Crouch Junior Grabbed Regulus Black by the neck of his robes, pulled him toward himself, and kissed him full on the mouth.

My stomach lurched. What the hell was going on? Both of them were boys. Boys didn't kiss boys. Boys kissed girls! This wasn't normal! It couldn't be normal. Boys kiss girls not other boys! Yet here was Crouch snogging Regulus! And Barty was my love! Why was he kissing a boy!? Should I be jealous or horrified? I DON'T KNOW! THIS IS WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

*Not true in the slightest

*Andromeda Black

*Ted Tonks

*Ovomancy

* For some reason, my father was rather fond of a muggle sport that was played exclusively in the colonies. It is absolutely nothing like the muggle sport, football you may see some muggles play here occasionally)