In Promise Of Eevees

By Lyrical Musicbox

A/N: That's right.
I was a dumbass and started a stupid OT fic again. Even though technically the main character's not much of a trainer...
… whatever.
Meh this may suck, it may not. I'll probably ditch it at some point, too. But for the moment, here's my semi-satirical OT commentary on MUTHAFUCKIN' EEVEES!

"It's sure hot out today, huh?" The petite preteen commented, elegantly brushing the fur of her prized Pokemon. The Eevee's ears twitched nervously, something obviously bothering it despite the forced smile. The owner didn't seem to notice, and smiled kindly at it. How grateful she was for such a wonderful Pokemon!

Her bodyguard groaned, fanning the back of her neck wildly with her long blond hair in a lazy ponytail. "Hell yeah it is! Why are you even out here anyway? Get back in the house, where the air conditioner is!" Her purple eyes sharply scrutinized the younger girl irritably. Why would anyone hire protection for such an asinine girl? It wasn't worth the pay to stand with the brat all the time while she fawned over her Pokemon.

The other girl shook her head calmly, seafoam-green bob bouncing around crazily from the quick movements. "The sun is good for you," she pointed out politely. "How else are you planning to get vitamin D? Anyway, it's not that bad." She smiled cutely and gave her Pokemon a quick peck on the head. "Isn't that right, Switchy? Valerie is such a silly silly girl isn't sheeeeee?! You're so cute!" Switchy nodded shakily, obviously nearly paralyzed by whatever that was bothering it. His owner's hugs and kisses weren't helping in the least.

Valerie groaned again, tempted to hit her head on the nearest solid surface. Unfortunately, that meant she'd have to stop fanning, and against this heat there was no other option. "Geesh Almond... How do your parents deal with you? I bet they can't wait till you leave on your journey."

Almond laughed. "Leave on a journey?" she asked, turning to her guard with a grin, gold eyes almost angry. "Why would I do that? I'm a breeder, not a trainer. That journey stuff is for brutes who want strength. I'm only interested in breeding high-quality Pokemon and giving them to responsible owners. The only training I need are evolutionary stones and these." She pulled a Rare Candy out of her pocket and waved it in the air cheerfully.

The older girl stared at her for a moment in utter shock. ".... WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" Valerie screamed, jumping to her feet. "You're not going on a journey?! You're going to stay here and breed?! WHY???"

Almond blinked, finding nothing wrong with that. "Why not? My dad's one of the most famous breeders in Kanto, isn't he? That's why I was threatened, and that's why you're here. It only makes sense that I would follow in his footsteps." she explained, petting Switchy absently. His twitching was becoming worse now, but the preteen was still too dense and preoccupied to notice.

"B-but being a trainer is the aspiration of all little kids your age!! Are you really a ten year old kid?" Valerie argued frantically. Her plans were dissipating before her eyes. She HAD to go on a journey! She HAD to go off and do stupid trainer stuff like beating gyms or winning contests! Not only because everything depended on it, but also because any self-respecting trainer like herself was NOT going to sit around and watch a breeder brat play with her Pokemon forever! "You've got to go on one, Almond! I insist!"

Almond shook her head again, obviously set on this matter. "Nope. I'm staying at home and breeding, no matter what you say. I can't see any possible advantage in going on a dumb adventure." she said in a finishing way. Valerie swallowed her unshed tears and tried to growl threateningly. It came out like a soft, weakling yelp.

The preteen then turned back to her beloved Pokemon and began her fawning again. "Right Switchy? Aren't you too lovely for something as insipid as battling?" The Eevee tried to nod, but couldn't. It spasmed violently, and then quickly melted into a pool of pink goo in his owner's lap, black eyes full of apologies. Almond jumped at the change, quickly scooping the transform Pokemon into her arms.

"Aah! The transformation was undone!! What's wrong Switchy? Is it too hot? Do you need water? Valerie, get him some water, quick!!"

Valerie sighed, dropping her fan to go and get a glass of cold water from inside. She came out and poured it onto the Ditto carelessly, getting Almond's sundress wet in the process, possibly on purpose. "It's probably just overheating and tired from being an Eevee so long," she predicted, peering into the Pokemon's eyes with little interest. "Which means you should get inside, and let the poor thing take a break." Almond pouted at that awnser, entering the cool house hesitantly and setting her Pokemon on a soft pillow. She sat beside it on the couch, and proceeded to carefully watch it sleep. Valerie simply leaned against the wall, enjoying the marvels of air conditioning.

"... I wish I had an Eevee..." Almond mused mournfully, eyes not moving from her exhausted Pokemon.

Valerie rolled her eyes. "I noticed. Why don't you just have your dad get one for you? They may be rare, but he's definitely got plenty of dough, as my paycheck proves."

"He doesn't like them. He says they're overrated and snotty and dumb." The preteen ran her finger gently over her only Pokemon's smooth surface. "He told me that if I wanted one I had to get one myself, but with my allowance, it'd still take until I'm 24. They're really expensive. So..." she sighed. "But I really really really want one!! I'd do anything for an Eevee..."

Valerie watched her charge, though she didn't care much for little 10-year-old dreams. Her dreams at age 10 were at least a little more realistic. Something about a Ponyta. Which she actually had caught, and now at 17, was part of her dedicated team, though now it had evolved into an even more beautiful Rapidash.

Screw that, pyrophobic parents! Whatcha gunna do now?!

Regardless of her dreams, though, Valerie was exponentially screwed if she didn't find a way to liven the little girl up to the idea of a Pokemon journey within the next week, before she had to make any statements. I shouldn't have to worry about this! She thought frantically. Most kids would die to go on a journey, and sometimes do! This twerp can't be human... All she thinks about is breeding and Eevees...

And then an idea hit, and she had to fight pretty damn hard not to smirk.

"Hey Almond?" Valerie called innocently, gaining a pair of gold eyes on her. "You know, on a Pokemon journey, you can meet all sorts of Pokemon." She curled a strand of hair around her finger like a schoolgirl. "Maybe, if you went on a journey..."

Almond jumped to her feet. "I COULD GET AN EEVEE?"

Valerie winced at her sudden screaming. "It's possible.. you can get any kind of Pokemon on a journey..--"

"YES! I'LL GO ON ONE! LET'S GO!" The preteen yelled, tackle-hugging her bodyguard. "I'm sorry I ever doubted the idea! It's amazing! I can't wait! Let's go right now!"

Not expecting the sudden wild enthusiasm, Valerie shrunk back a bit. You mentioned an Eevee, and she'd go insane, apparently. God help you if it came up while she had a knife in her hand. Regardless, this was obviously a perfect way to get her to do what the plan needed her to do. She gave her best smile, trying not to let her internal smugness set into it.

"Alright! Let's ask your dad and get you packed then, okay?"

"Yes!! Okay!!"

Sucker.