Broken Clocks
Rating – M . (lemony goodness at some point ^_^)
Disclaimer- I do not own the characters within that clearly belong to Square Enix however the plot and any OC's are my own ^_^
Summary- Sometimes Cloud found himself remembering things that had never been, sometimes he thought he wasn't good enough and sometimes he wanted to fall into Zack's arms and pretend that the world outside wasn't as broken as it really was... Clack...
Prologue
It had been upon his return to seventh heaven, having returned Aeris to the life stream, his heart heavy, the scent of betrayal clinging heavily to his clothes, after defeating Sephiroth, his body worn and aching, when all he had really wanted to do was crumble into himself, lost in a tangle of lies and mixed thoughts. That had been when Reno had appeared in his doorway, cigarette in hand and eyes betraying the idea of cool confidence he was trying so desperately to embody, he had given up under the other's gaze, sitting beside him as twisted words tumbled from his lips, Cloud had wanted to kill him when he had finished, slamming him against the bar, called him a liar, a bastard, a twisted son of a bitch who should have never been conceived, the hate and malice had come as a shock to even the blonde himself, Reno had merely taken it all, letting it roll off him like water off a ducks back.
After the accusations had died down, when the Mako had dissipated until sapphire was all that remained Reno had merely glanced up and allowed the words to fall from his lips once again, drilling them into the blonde's head like a mantra. The blonde had punched him, drew blood that trickled from the redhead's lip down pallid flesh, dropping onto the white shirt unbuttoned at the very top, Rude had pulled the blonde from him, whispered words of truth falling from his lips and somehow with the both of them there Cloud found that he couldn't deny their words, couldn't force the disbelief to manifest in his mind and despite his common sense, despite what he knew, felt, to be true, despite the horror he had seen, the pain burning against his flesh and deep within muscle, despite it all he started to believe them, his heart lifting and filling with blood, reviving inside his chest almost.
He had warned that death would follow if he found out that they were lying and Reno had merely lit up another cigarette, wiping at his lip with his thumb and heading for the door like he hadn't a care in the world. The blonde had followed ignoring as Tifa entered with screams of protest; her words faded to nothingness, the door fell heavily against the frame signalling his dismissal, she merely folded her arms across her chest in disapproval.
The Shinra helicopter looked out of place, Cloud could remember the sounds of the blades swirling above head, the warm breath ghosting across his face as a hand had moved from his arm, gripping the hilt of a sword. He had insisted that he'd follow on Fenrir and Reno didn't try to argue as he climbed up to the controls merely saluting and smirking Cloud had glared at him through the goggles he fixed over Mako tinted eyes.
The ride through the deserts helped to clear his thoughts, the wind was chilled against his flesh which burnt with an unfamiliar heat, the stars twinkled above him, long lost spirits that danced amongst the life stream, Aeris resided there now, with her shimmering emerald eyes, her bright smile, her radiance. He grit his teeth against the wave of shame and forced the bike to go even faster, losing sight of Reno was not an option, the other had preached words of unfathomable meaning that stung at his heart even now, for all Cloud knew he was the pied piper leading him to his demise but for those words, the chance they could be true Cloud knew that he would follow anyone anywhere. If Sephiroth had stood before him with the utterance on his lips and conviction in his eyes then Cloud would have been unable to decline, unable to shred the man's heart knowing that there was a chance no matter how small.
The helicopter stood out against the landscape, Reno leant against it, a flash of red against pure black, he smiled as the blonde pulled up in front of him, the bike getting perhaps a little bit too close for comfort. Rude was already walking away, hands in pockets, all business, Reno pushed himself from the helicopter and started to follow his partner, Cloud watched them for a few moments before following them also. There were trees in this part of the land, happy and healthy, droplets of dew on the grass; it had reminded him of home, before home had been burnt to a crisp.
They walked for a long time, one after another, silence looming between them as if what they were planning on doing was forbidden. There was a building before them, it grew the closer they got, looking somewhat like a fortress, Rude stopped at the door, inputting a code into the locking mechanism, 88734,Cloud burnt the numbers into his mind saving them for use later. Reno fiddled with his lighter, flicking it open and then closed, open and closed, open and closed, like a nervous child. The lights came on automatically, shining brightly and almost blinding the blonde and redhead alike, Rude safe behind the lenses of his sunglasses.
Inside the place looked somewhat like a hospital, rows of unused beds, storage facilities with locked doors, there was what looked like an operating room, shimmering silver with not a speck of dirt to be found. The Turks wound through the maze like corridors as if they had done it a million times, Reno had explained the place as a hospital for injured SOLDIERS, the place seemed empty and barren now, it's purpose no longer needed and he allowed his heart to thunder inside his ribcage, hid the way his hands shook by clenching them into fists. There was a doctor in the one room, her eyes a mismatched hazel and blue, her hair a light chestnut brown pulled back into a ponytail, her name scribbled in italic font Hitomi Akiyama black against the pure white of a lab coat, her smile was warm as she greeted the two Turks, then smiling softly at Cloud in a way that reminded him of Aeris.
She led them through the corridor, the gentle tap of her heels against the marble flooring somewhat soothing in the silence, she stopped outside a door grabbing for a key card in her pocket, swiping it through the lock, it flashed green and pinged softly, another door to the left, a small corridor and another door. Reno glanced back at Cloud as the woman entered with Rude following; the redhead squeezed his shoulder, a comforting friendly gesture, the Turk motioned for him to enter first and the blonde didn't turn down the offer slipping past Reno into the room, he side stepped Rude, eyes widening and then narrowing in confusion, heart pounding dangerously inside his chest swelling until he thought it would burst, his eyes flared with Mako, hands clenched. He moved forward before he had decided to, his feet carrying him towards a white bed.
The doctor stood with her back to him, a clipboard in hand as she jotted something down, his eyes scanned the scene before him, the white sheets, the machine's that beeped and hummed without missing a beat, the light that found its way in through closed blinds. The bandages wrapped so tightly around skin that had once held such a healthy glow, now pallid beneath the endless hospital white, the dark hair that contrasted so dangerously, still impossibly spiked and some tumbling into closed eyes, there were tubes and wires, a tube to breathe the machine hissing with each artificial inhale and exhale, IV's strapped tightly to veins and someone who had once been so unbelievably strong and alive now seemed so very broken.
He remembered blood, clinging to his hair, warm against the flesh of his face, streaking past shocking blue; there was a smile, a grimace, a touch, a fading heart beat, a weight so heavy in his hand that could never outweigh the one in his heart. There was laughter, a scream, gunshots; it was a memory that Cloud would have given anything to forget. His steps were tentative now as he neared the bed, closer to the motionless figure; a clipboard was slipped into the end of the bed, the gentle tap of heels fading into the distant, a familiar hand on his shoulder.
"We'll be outside..." Reno all but whispered turning on his heal and disappearing from the room with Rude, the door closing with a soft click. Cloud stood at the side of the bed, his mind seemed to fail him, his hands refused to move but his eyes shimmered with the pain he had tried to conceal for so long. They were no longer the Mako tinged eyes of the SOLDIER who had battled with Sephiroth, nor the angry confused pale blue of the man who had returned a dear friend to the life stream, they were the deep sapphire of the boy he had once been, when he had first seen the man lying in the bed before him. His hand reached out, touching the flesh of the other male's face, it was warm even through his gloves and he even let himself believe there was a smile hidden beneath the machine that kept him breathing.
There was something on his face, it trickled across his cheek, a trail of moisture in its wake, he frowned as the droplet landed on the white sheets, becoming transparent on impact, it took him a few moments to realise that it had been a tear. He allowed his eyes to close, saw a smiling face, black spikes falling into gentle blue, an extended hand, he found it hard to accept that someone who had always been so strong was now so very helpless. His hand traced the faint outline of a familiar scar,
"I'm sorry..." the words seemed horribly loud in the silence of the room and he cringed at the way they had tumbled from his lips, knowing the elder would have chuckled and ruffled his hair at the way it had cracked with regret. He hadn't allowed himself to believe that what Reno had told him would turn out to be true, hadn't wanted to set himself up for the fall, yet as he stood there, hand on the elder's face, eyes glued to the unmoving form he still found it so hard to believe. He had seen this man die, fight against thousands of armed men, perishing in a flurry of bullets and all to save him, he had watched him die, watched the blood run, seeping away with the rain. He would never be able to chase the images from his mind now, "it's all my fault," and it wasn't just this man before him it was Aeris, it was Tifa, Denzel, Marlene, those thousands of people that he had never been able to save, "I... can't be your living legacy Zack... I'm not strong enough,"
He could imagine a slap to the back of his head, a chuckle and seductive eyes rolling at him, an exasperated sigh, shake of jet black, "you beat Sephiroth didn't you," in a matter of fact tone, yet it didn't happen and his eyes found the floor in shame.
"I think... I wanted to save you, more than anyone else," the only response he received was the beeping, the humming, the hiss of the machine's that made him cringe. It was too much for him, he wanted to run, Zack wasn't supposed to be like this, wasn't supposed to be broken and silent and barely holding on. He couldn't take the helplessness he felt, like there was nothing he could do despite all the will in the world, he turned in that instant, flash of gold and black walking away, heart heavy and eyes shimmering.
He had driven back to Edge with Reno's explanation repeating in his head, he said they had come across Zack alone on the cliff, they had never expected him to survive the trip to the medical facility yet he had clung on, the doctors there had worked tirelessly to get him to the point that he was at now, they had no guarantee's as to if he would ever wake from his comatose state or what he would be like if he ever did. Hitomi had said that he was doing well, offered Cloud a key card and told him to drop by whenever he wished to, she had briefly mentioned moving to a facility closer to Edge but maintained that the move was to be a long way off and by no means definite. Still she had seemed hopeful and the very possibility had made something in Cloud's heart soar.
By the time he returned to Seventh Heaven the bar was closing for the night, Tifa tidying up, Denzel and Marlene were in bed, Tifa's smile was warm and conversational but Cloud was in no mood for talking, he merely nodded his acknowledgement at her before heading up to him room. She explained it away as mourning over Aeris and thought nothing more of it. The blonde had struggled to sleep that night, plagued with images of Zack, of pieces of memories that didn't make any sense. In the following months he became distant from Tifa, disappearing on deliveries and not returning for prolonged periods of time, he didn't say where he'd been, he became lost to her and she didn't know what to do to get him back.
First chapter done, this particular plot Chocobo just jumped on me for no apparent reason I'm not really sure what I think of it so I ask for your opinions and reviews to let me know if I should carry on or not ^_^ oh and I adore Reno so reviewers will have a Reno shaped cookie (stares at cookie jar longingly) till next time!