Unfortunately, Fugaku Uchiha captured a criminal, which in an alternate universe, might have escaped him.

Unfortunately, He came home that night happier than usual.

Unfortunately, Mikoto Uchiha had found a new book in the public library, written by the Sannin Jiraya.

Unfortunately, she was waiting for her husband when he came home.

And then, nine months later, a four year old Uchiha Itachi sat in the waiting room, alone, as his father was with his mother, listening to the sounds of her screams.

Unfortunately, Kazue Uchiha was brought into out kicking and screaming.

Lewis Mitchellson was a man. He was twenty one years old, fresh out of college with a major in neuroscience, and a minor in theater. He had his life together, and planned on retiring early, and maybe owning a cat.

He most certainly was not this tiny, squalling female who was barely a year old, with no official manner of education, and part of some cultist family who's older members whispered of rebellion and loving the clan, serving the clan, being the clan, youmusn'tgoagainsttheclaneverlittlekazue-

He also wasn't entirely in control of his own body, just riding along, really. Unable to control any part of the child, but still able to communicate with her. Despite all that, he was quite comfortable. Kazue was a mature child, no doubt do to his influence, of course, and her mindscape had been constructed to fit his needs. The children in this world are expected to mature and grow faster than his home world, so Kazue's advanced mind went without a second glance, fortunately.

It was a large library, with two sides. One was his, a tall shelved, intimidating structure overflowing with books-memories- and sorted to fit his needs. Kazue's side was haphazard and small, which he tried to convince her to sort several times, but she always giggled and waved him off. It was irritating, because he wasn't able to go to her side of the library to fix it.

For some reason, he was able to recall every single experience that had ever happened to him. This was a new, but not unwelcome, feature of his life, that was often useful when he needed psychology and child raising books for Kazue, and was bored enough to watch reruns of various TV shows.

Kazue was also irritatingly cheerful. He didn't know where she got it, really. Her mother was calm, with soft smiles and light huffs of laughter, her father was stern and hard-faced, and her brother was making a valiant attempt at being a mixture of the two.

Her endless optimism and hope was also was the only thing that kept him from going insane, though, so he supposed that made up for it.

Kazue didn't exactly know why nobody else had Headmans, she only knew that Headman told her that Headman was the only Headman in existence, and she shouldn't tell anyone about him because people might think she's- she shudders at the thought- weird.

Headman says that being weird was the absolutely Worst Thing Ever and she should do all she can to be Not Weird, because, in a direct quote from him, "From what I have observed of this world, people are constantly on the lookout for 'weirdness' in order to exploit it and use it for their own means. You must never appear to be anything out of the ordinary, do you understand? They will take you and break you and change you."

Kazue didn't want to be changed. She liked who she was right now, with Headman and Okaa-san and Otou-san and Onii-san!

'And,' she thought, 'her cute little Otouto who Okaa-san is picking up at the hospital right now!' She was practically vibrating where she sat next to her older brother, Itachi. Her meager amount of hair pulled up in a short, childish ponytail on the top of her head and her Uchiha-standard black eyes flashing with excitement.

She jumped up and rushed to the door when she heard it open.

"Okaa-san!" She exclaimed, as she hadn't seen her in two days. Okaa-san… looked different. Her tummy wasn't big anymore.

'Headman, why is Okaa-san smaller?' She asked, as she usually did when she had questions. Headman was silent for a moment.

'... The female parent… has to eat a lot in order to feed the baby, so her stomach is made larger. After she picks up the baby, she feeds it all that she ate, so she's… smaller… now.'

Oh. That made sense, as most things Headman says do.

"Ah! Kazu-chan, come quickly!" She did so, and peered down at the bundle of blankets her mother held out to her. "This is Sasuke, your baby brother!

In her mind, she felt Headman had a "revenacation" or whatever he called it. She was too busy staring at the sack of squirming flesh that was inexplicably adorable, despite its scrunched up face.

Meanwhile, 'Headman' as he was now dubbed, was searching frantically through the memories of his aunt's family, who had taken him in when his mother died and his father had all but abandoned him at age thirteen, for his little sister figure's section. When he found it, he searched through the files for her rants on various shows and characters she watched.

Ah. There it is

The previously annoying, time consuming, fast paced rants might now be his saving grace.

The file of conversation labeled 'The fudging gumdrop Hershey hole that is the Uchiha clan, with particular focus on Sasuke Uchiha.'

He immediately set to work, filing and re-filing and searching for every name, place and event that was mentioned in other files

And whoo boy, were there a lot.

AN: Hi! I wanted to write an Uchiha sibling reincarnationish thing, and also someone who was not in the Rookie Nine's generation, so I mashed the two.

I originally wanted her to have Synesthesia, but maybe I'll do something like that on a later date.

(I should also really get around to editing Boredom but shhhhh)

-AndroidSoul

(You can call me whatever though! I really don't care! Whatever suits your needs!)