Silence has its own deafening sound and its own pitch black darkness dedicated to it. It's all around you and filling the void, the empty centre in you and drowning you all at the same time. Sam realized it one more time. Not an epiphany-just a recurrent observation.

These hunts with the undead will never end. They'll be ash, nothing will change, no point in try and protect. "We are all already dead," Sam thought while cleaning his Taurus. Eyebrows were in perfect question shape, Sam looked a lot older than he actually was. His eyes were squinted at somewhere on the floor, shoulders hunched and as he stayed sitting on the edge of the bed in a shabby motel room, the atmosphere around him seemed to swallow him to the extent that he didn't even hear his brother opening the door and entering with exasperation and takeout on his hand, "I'm telling you, dude, these zombies are testing my pati-" and he abruptly stopped in his stride towards his bed.

It has been one and a half month since Chuck brought Hell on Earth. And they are doing what they usually do. They're surviving, trying to find a way to reverse it all. They are way over their head, as always. But they can't exit now, not without a fight. Dean thought. Cass has gone to heaven and with new angels, he's trying to save heaven because with the awaken souls, heaven is out of balance, more so than before.

But, that's not important now.

The important thing is Sam is very still.

He's not looking up at Dean.

"He doesn't even know I'm here," Dean thought without making a sound, he steadily moved towards the table that was a couple of feet away from the door. He placed the food on the table that did make a sound, enough for a hunter to be aware but Sam still didn't look up.

Dean felt uncomfortable. He dealt with this before. The checked out version of Sammy after the Hell-wall was broken. But, that was not good. Dean always used to see his brother, as a person who's in control, calm and composed and most of all alert with his surroundings. Dean mused for a second about what he should do now.

He put his hands a little over his head in a placating gesture and walked towards Sam and then stopped just a few steps away and spoke, "Sam?"

No answer…

"Sam?" Dean's voice rose a little higher but still not too loud.

Still no answer…

"Sammy?" This time his voice quivered a little.

That earned a reaction. Sam looked up, bangs falling into his eyes with a faraway look in it. Eyes that shook Dean to his core. Eyes that Dean couldn't remember, he has seen any time in the past. But he had to get through him.

"What are you doing buddy?" Dean's determined eyes were locked with Sam's hollowed ones. Sam seemed to reel himself in from where he was wandering and blinked at first and water appeared in his eyes. Water, Dean couldn't know, was there for looking for a long time without blinking or for any other reason.

But, that's not important now.

The important thing is Sam is looking at him.

Like really looking. It was registering into him that Dean was there.

"Dean is here." "Dean is looking at me that way." "Like he's worried but trying not to show it." "Why is he worried?" All that thoughts went through Sam's head in a millisecond and he spoke up, "Dean? When did you…"

Sam stopped and his eyes went to his brother's placating hands and he furrowed his brows further. If that was possible.

Dean saw Sam's eyes went up, at his hands and he saw his little brother's somewhat dazed eyes. It was unnerving to see Sam like that, even after what they've been through together. Sam still didn't move but Dean's eyes were now focused on Sam's hands.

Sam followed Dean's gaze and saw the problem.

It was his gun. His longtime companion. It's not unassembled anymore. In fact, it was loaded, the slide is pulled back and pointing towards his heart.

Sam was not shocked but amused because he couldn't remember that passage of time when he finished it cleaning, putting it back together and pointing it to himself!

Sam was amused. He changed the position of the slide and placed it on the side of his bed.

And Dean exhaled a breath that he didn't know he was holding. That sound of taking air made Sam feel guilty. He didn't want his brother to worry like that.

He started to speak, "I w-wasn't…"