A/N: I confess. I have defected (temporarily) from the Prince of Tennis fandom. Because there are some things you can only find in Hunter X Hunter (like Illumi's beautifulness). Now: remember: Hiatus=Writer's Block=you call THIS a STORY?! So. HAHA, excuses excuses...
Reason 8: The steps
Now, this is listed as the last for a reason, but honestly? It's bad enough. Like, every freaking day, I have to walk down, like, a million little step and like, twenty kilometers before I reach the bottom, which totally sucks. And, it's plain annoying. No, it's not tiring, it's damn annoying, and don't even make me mention the trip on the way up. Do you understand? The pain of having to hike down a million little bumps? And possibly trip (even though I won't) and hit my head, possibly killing me (even though I won't)?!
Reason 7: I have no free time
Throughout the day I am either:
Being tortured
Killing a random, insignificant dude
Walking down those damned steps
I barely have enough time to eat, and whatever stuff I could do if I wasn't always being tortured, killing a random, insignificant dude, or walking down those damned steps.
Reason 6: No one takes me seriously
I am an assassin, I say to my target who is all frightened and shivering. And you know what they do? They laugh! And I'm just like, guys, guys. I am an assassin here to kill you. Seriously. It hurts to have your ego trampled on with each kill, but at least I get my revenge.
Reason 5: It's hard being so much better than everyone else
Sometimes, I feel these urges to smash someone's skull into the floor and sit on it. I'm pretty sure most assassins have this problem, because I once saw my dad smashing the television screen when a character in a movie dies after getting a 300 volt shock. Pathetic. Totally pathetic. Like, who freaking dies after a little shock like that? Heck, I wouldn't even be flinching from a teeny weeny 300 volt! People are seriously so weak these days. PSH.
Reason 4: My family
Here's a little scenario of my day:
Mother: I love you, Killua
Bro 1: CHOMPCHOMPSLURPSNOOOORKSHLUPCHOMP
Bro 2: Kil, you're mine. *heart* *heart*
Me: Stabs them all and runs down a million steps to take the Hunter exam.
Need I say more?
Reason 3: I am legally sexually harassed everyday
Okay, now-this is a true story:
From the moment little Killua Zoldyck was born, his brother, Illumi, decided it was his duty to stalk and sexually harass the poor kid forever more. And so he did. Illumi would stalk Killua and stare at him, and say gross things like, 'I love you, Kil." The end.
Now that, guys, is the story of my life.
Reason 2:My name is retarded
My family is weird, yeah, but they just had to name me Killua, which, I personally think, is going way overboard. My name means 'to kill' and doesn't that just ruin the who undercover assassin thing? And then there's Illumi, all proud and emotionless, who surely doesn't illuminate ANYONE, and that is just so messed up.
Reason 1: My freaking nails-!
Do you know just how much blood and guts cram up under my nails after some classic heart rippage? Well, it's a damn lot. And it takes forever to get it out. Then I go file my nails, put on some strengthener, maybe buff it a bit, you know. Like some damn freaking school girl, yeah right. But it's not like I care if this gets out because I'll just kill them. Yeah. As bad as it is, Illumi, that freak, I swear he laughs at me every time and oh, I so wanna kill him.
OWARI
OMAKE:
"...Kil, I don't understand."
"Illumi, I hate you, and these are reasons I quit being an assassin, now stop stalking me!"
"But, Kil..."
I told you, I'm never going back!"
"You are born to be an assassin."
"Go away, you creep!"
A/N: Ahehe/ just clearing things up, I love Illumi. Now. How was this? I'll probably be writing more of the Hunter fandom...I'm really addicted now...;p
-Killua's arrogant here, I know. But what's parody without some exaggeration? HEH
And yes, Killua does mean 'To kill'. In Romanji it's written 'Kirua' and 'Kiru' means to kill.