A/N: Welcome new and old readers alike! If you haven't read my other stories, this is part of a series, so you might want to click on my name and start with "Behind Closed Doors" and work your way up to this one. Or, give this one a read if you don't have time to go back—I'll try to fill in some background info along the way. This first part of this chapter is a little risqué, but mainly through innuendo. Later chapters may be much more explicit, so proceed at your own risk. Hope you like it.

Chapter 1

MICK

"So tell me, Mick, does Beth mow her secret garden?"

Josef asked me this unexpected question mid-drink, and I was so taken by surprise that whiskey went down the wrong way and I began coughing uncontrollably. He casually reached over and patted my back. Hard.

" What the hell kind of question is that?" I asked when I could.

"Well, I ask this because I got quite a surprise from Simone yesterday. Seems she's been getting some tips from the Brazilians."

"Are we really having this discussion?" If I could still blush, my face would be bright red.

We were sitting in my apartment, both our women having to pull all-nighters, so we did as most men did when at loose ends: drank, smoked, and had trivial discussions. Like this one, for example.

"Well, why wouldn't we discuss it? I mean, we've about exhausted every other topic known to man, haven't we?"

That was not much of an exaggeration. Fifty years of friendship and nothing much was sacred. Except this, perhaps.

"For one thing, Josef, I'm pretty sure anything south of Beth's neck is none of your goddamn business." I refilled my glass from the bottle of single malt in front of us on the coffee table.

He laughed, puffing out smoke from his Cuban cigar. "Okay, fair enough. You could at least tell me your…preferences."

"No, I couldn't"

"You've never been with a woman who's waxed, have you?"

"Again, none of your business." I had, but I preferred a girl to be well…natural.

"Well, personally," he continued, not caring that I was uncomfortable with the whole conversation, " I like a bit of a landing strip, to you know, guide the way. But Simone went completely bare. In the past, with other women, it was kind of a turn-off. I felt vaguely pedophilic, if you know what I mean. But let me tell you, when I went down—"

"None of my business, Josef," I interrupted, looking away and taking another drink.

He just chuckled merrily. "Alright, I won't go into detail. Wouldn't want to offend your 1950's sensibilities."

"Since when?"

He had the grace not to attempt to deny it. We sat in uncomfortable silence a moment—or, at least I did.

"But wait—I can answer my own question. Remember when I caught a glimpse of Beth naked? It was in this very apartment…"

My head swung around, and it took all my self-control not to commence pummeling him senseless.

"I really think we should change the subject," I growled, deadly serious.

He took a sip from his own glass, and grinned, not afraid of me in the least, but willing to quit pushing the limits of my tolerance where Beth was concerned. He promptly changed the subject—sort of.

"I knew this girl, in France, who changed her mons with each holiday. At Christmas, her minge was shaped into a Christmas tree- what a present that was. Valentine's Day? A heart, of course. St. Patrick's Day—you guessed it—a four-leafed clover. I certainly got lucky that night. Easter? Guess what it was, Mick."

"No."

"Come on, guess. I know you want to."

I sighed, knowing I'd better give him some answers or we'd be discussing this for hours more.

"An Easter basket."

He barked a laugh. "No. That would have been funny, though. No, it was a cross. Can you count how many ways that is blasphemous?" He shook his head, remembering fondly. "She was quite a girl. Very adventurous." He grinned nostalgically.

I couldn't help smiling too.

"How many women you suppose you've been with, Josef?" The words slipped out before I could stop them.

"Now who's getting personal?" He raised an eyebrow, but of course, he wasn't offended. "Are we talking human, vampire, or both?"

"Never mind," I backtracked. "Sorry I asked." But I knew, once this particular genie was out of the bottle…

"Well, let's see…I was turned in 1624, at age 25. By that time, I'd had maybe twenty…"

"Twenty!"

He smirked. "Let me guess—that's around your top number."

Actually, it was around fifty, but remember, I was technically in my eighties now. Besides, there was no way I was giving him this information. Beth would end up hearing about it, one way or another, and I'd be labeled a man-whore. Beth had told me once she'd been with only three other men besides me.

"No, I'm a little more experienced than that, thank you very much. I've been a vampire over fifty years, ya know."

"But married thirty-three of those years, if I recall correctly, and I know you didn't cheat on Coraline, as much as she deserved it."

At this rate, it probably wouldn't take him much figuring to come to my actual number. I had gone a little crazy in the early 1980's after Coraline and I were officially through, and Josef had been witness to that madness. Until I'd met Beth.

"We were talking about you." I said, trying to steer him back on track. He saw right through it, grinning slyly, but letting me off the hook.

"Okay. Since I was turned," he continued, lost in thought, "probably an average of three women a week—different women, that is. Some vampire, some human. So, fifty-two weeks in a year, four hundred years…of course, take off three years when I was-damn, do you have a calculator?"

My ears pricked up at the juicy tidbit he'd unintentionally dropped. "Three years when you what, Josef?"

"What?" He asked innocently, hiding behind his cigar.

"I heard you. Spill it."

I could tell his wheels were turning, trying to get out of the corner he'd unthinkingly painted himself into. He finished his scotch, then refilled his glass methodically.

"You wouldn't let me get away with a slip like that. So tell me now, or I'll pursue it like you do everything with me—relentlessly."

He sighed and shifted in his chair. I smirked. Now, who was uncomfortable? I stared at him in anticipation, suddenly enjoying this unexpected turn, an opportunity to find out more about my old friend, who guarded certain secrets like a dragon guards its gold.

He rose to his feet, taking his glass with him to stare out into the twinkling LA night.

"Alright. I was married. Once. For three years. It ended badly. That's all I've got to say about that."

I for one was an expert on failed marriages, so I wasn't about to pry.

"Does Simone know?"

"No. And you are about to swear she never will hear it from you."

I watched his tense back, encased in an expensive suit, and of course, did as he asked. "I swear. But don't you think you should tell her yourself."

"No."

And that was the end of that; he would answer no more questions on that score. Maybe someday he'd open up to me. God knows, he'd been there to share in the colossal failure that was my marriage.

"But," he said, brightening, "speaking more positively of marriage—Simone and I have set a date." He returned to his customary chair, bad memories forgotten.

I was surprised to hear this news. Josef and Simone's road to love had been rocky, to say the least. And with a crazy prospective mother-in-law, I didn't think Josef was too anxious to become a part of Simone's family. He'd even been pushed to show his fangs to Elise Walker, threatening her with bodily harm should she hurt her daughter again. To make things even more complicated, Simone was a vampire now, unbeknownst to her parents, which would make a traditional wedding and marriage nearly impossible.

"When's the happy day?" I asked, trying to inject more happiness than concern.

"Christmas Eve."

"Really? That's just two weeks away. Hardly enough time to plan a big bash, is it?"

"We've decided on a small wedding. Just friends."

"No family?" I asked curiously. Of course, the families of all the vamps we knew were long gone, so I was obviously meaning Simone's.

"We've invited Simone's parents, but I'm not expecting they'll show up. Simone has begun breaking away from the rest of her extended family, and she no longer feels like she has much in common with her old friends. Except Beth, of course. I warned her before I turned her how hard it would be to give up her old life."

"How is she handling it?"

He smiled fondly. "Simone is amazingly resilient. I'm very proud of her. You know how quickly she's adapted to being a vampire. And now she's starting her own law firm for vamp clients, so she's doing a brisk business because of her more convenient hours. Human courts still occur during the day, but part of her service is getting her cases on the docket in the afternoons. A brilliant business strategy. I wish I'd thought of it."

"I'm glad to hear things are going so well for her. For both of you, apparently. So, where are the nuptials to be held?"

"Lake Tahoe."

"Nice. Very cold this time of year—great idea, my friend."

"Yeah, I think so. We'll have it in Simone's wedding present. I bought her a cabin on the lake—a great vacation home investment. We'll honeymoon there, and I've arranged suites in a nearby resort for you, Beth, Guillermo, Logan, and their dates. Maybe we can even get in some night skiing."

"Better and better. I haven't done that in years." With our vampire vision, skiing at night was no hazard for us, and allowed us to have fun without the brightness of sun on snow. Beth would be the odd human out, but then again, I had no idea whether or not she skied. I grinned to myself, imagining her in a sexy little ski bunny outfit.

Josef was watching my face, smiling knowingly.

"I take it by your goofy expression you are liking this idea?"

"Yeah. I'm really looking forward to getting away to a colder climate. And Tahoe is a beautiful location for a wedding. The ladies are gonna love it."

"I'm sure."

We sat quietly drinking a moment, each lost in thought about the trip to come. I suddenly sensed Josef's nervousness, and brought my attention back to the present.

"What else is up, Josef?"

"Well…I have something to ask you, and it seems likely you will agree, but I've never done this before, so bear with me." He took a deep, shaky breath, then: "Would you be my best man?"

I had two possible reactions to this. I could joke, making him suffer a little, or accept immediately because I was so honored and proud to be his best man. I decided on a combination of both.

"So, you are finally admitting it," I said, deadpan, "I am the best man."

He grinned. "That's just a traditional title. Don't take this to mean I'm admitting to your superiority over me in any way. No, the superlative best is based on your placement relative to Guillermo and that idiot, Logan. Given your competition, I wouldn't get too cocky."

"I knew it was too good to be true."

"So, despite your default position…"

"I'll do it," I said happily, allowing my true feelings to show, even at risk of my emasculation. "You're my best friend, my brother. Of course I'll stand up for you."

His answering grin was almost bashful, and I wished fleetingly the public could see this side of him. Then again, no one should ever doubt how terrifying Josef Kostan could be.

"Thanks," he replied softly, and without additional words, a deep understanding passed between us. Now normally, Josef awkward silences, but only if it was at other people's expense.

"So," Josef said, finally, breaking the unmanly mood. "How 'bout those Lakers?"

A/N: Well? How do you like this set up? Please let me know, and be sure to click the box for updates so you know when I post chapters. Thanks in advance for any reviews you are kind enough to leave. They really inspire me to write more and to write often .

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