Chapter 1

Cook's POV

Alright, first thing's first; I'm not gay. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothin' against fags, but I don't swing that way. That's why your guess is as good as mine as to why for as long as I can remember, I've been, for lack of a better phrase, 'in love' with my best mate. Maybe it's Freddie's golden skin, or the way his dark hair never quite lays flat. Maybe it's his contagious smile, or his smoldering eyes that somehow still manage to be so gentle, or his kindness and genuine care for other people (something I've failed to find in anyone else and failed harder to practice myself). Whatever it is, it's endearing as fuck.

I look up and catch his eye across the room. He cracks a hint of a smile, then continues talking to some giant of a lad I've never seen before. I feel a pang in my chest and avert my eyes, the thought of him talking to somebody else when he could be talking to me being too much to bear.

I scan the room for a distraction, my eyes eventually landing on Panda and Eff. I lift my pint and make my way over to them through the crowd. Pandora immediately latches on to me as I approach, almost collapsing in the process, and showing just how pissed she is.

"Cookie!" she slurs.

I smile in return and try to carefully detach her from me. "Steady on, Panda!" I chuckle.

Effy looks up at me and smirks before looking around the room briefly. I can feel that she's looking for Freddie. I know that she somehow knows everything, that she can see my feelings for Freds, and she knows that I know that she knows. Fuck that, I'm not sober enough to even try to think that through.

"So, ladies. Where's everyone else fucked off to then?"

"Everyone went back to Naomi's."

I consider this for a moment. "Even Katie?"

Beat. "Even Katie." Effy responds.

I open my mouth to reply with some sarcastic (and most likely derogatory) remark, but am interrupted by the sound of Pandora vomiting on the club floor. I can hear Effy sigh under her breath, not in embarrassment, but in concern. She can pretend she doesn't care about anything as much as she bloody likes but she can't hide the fact that in her heart she truly does love Panda platonically, mind you). I can see her try to pass it off as a simple breath, but I know better. When Pandora begins to cry, Effy crouches down to her level and wraps an arm around her back before standing and making eye contact with me. She gives me a small nod and then proceeds to guide her clearly distressed friend out of the building and I presume, home.

Great, alone again. Trying to avoid looking awkward, I settle my gaze back on Freddie, who's still talking to that guy who must be about 10-fucking-foot tall. I guess I have no choice but to head over there then. Freddie spots me right before I reach them and grins that same grin that has plagued and blessed my dreams for years.

"The Cookie-monster is here!" I exclaim with a laugh.

"Yeah we can see that, tosser." Freddie replies fondly, wrapping his arms around me and slapping my back as I pull him into a casual embrace. I'm sure I can feel the guy Freds was talking to glaring daggers at me, not that I can blame him, but fuck it. After I pull away I allow my hand to linger on the small of his back and we both turn to face Freddie's company.

"Josh, meet Cook. Cook, meet Josh."

I don't think Freddie can feel the heavy awkwardness in the air as me and Josh ("'Josh and I'", I can hear JJ correcting in the back of my mind) shake hands. We exchange slightly disgruntled 'Nice to meet you's and I can hear the envy in Josh's voice as he looks at my hand on Freddie's back. So that's how this is, is it? Well, I get some pretty shitty vibes from the guy and I've always been alright at reading people, so fuck him. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Trying is on with my Freddie... I'm pulled from my thought by Freds' voice.

"So Josh and I were considering heading over to The Paradise Inn. You comin'?"

As much as I wanted to be with Freddie and to keep an eye on this Josh character, I don't trust myself to not punch his lights out whenever he talks to my Freds. "Nah mate, I'm alright. I'm just gonna go home and 'ave a kip. College tomorrow, innit."

Freddie knows somethings off. I've never given a shit about college and I've also never gone home when given another option. But, he doesn't push it.

"Um," He begins, clearly unsure of what to say next. "Alright then, see you tomorrow I guess."

I smile and walk away, but I don't go home. I walk for what seems like hours before finally allowing myself to collapse on a grassy hill near the college. I lay there, spliff in hand and just watching the sky change colour. Honestly, this is the calmest I've been in a long time, but even now I can feel anger bubbling somewhere under the surface. I close my eyes, thinking about Freddie. Thinking about the memories we've shared. Thinking about his velvety voice.

Thinking about Josh.

Fuck it. Fredster and me will be friend's 'til the end and like fuck am I gonna let some tree with dark hair and green eyes come between us. Because, well...

Because I'm Cook.