DISCLAIMER: I do not own Super Smash Bros. or any canon characters. They are property of Nintendo. I do, however, own a few of the characters.
This fanfic is rated T for language, partial nudity, and innuendos. Not for those under 13.
Many of the levels in this story are inspired by the Tomb Raider Level Editor.
THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS
DOOM RAIDERS
CHAPTER 1: THE VILLAGE
Marth, the Hero-King, was standing atop a hill located in a Greek village. He was not clad in much - he was only wearing a blue speedo and a headset. On the headset, he heard the voice of Wii Fit Trainer. Marth was on a global mission to stop Master Hand from (you guessed it) taking over the world because it's so goddamn cliche for villains to want to take over the world.
"Marth," said Wii Fit Trainer, "you have two goals. First you need to find Ike, Roy, and Robin. Then you must find and destroy the Kronos Stone. It is said only"
"Then why don't you help?" asked Marth.
"I've got to do another workout session in 20 minutes," said Wii Fit Trainer.
"Whatever," said Marth.
Marth ran towards the town square, where he was greeted by two red Shy Guys. He started to beat the two of them up and bash their faces in. Once both of them were dead, he looked to the water nearby. Marth swam through the stream and made his way to a gap under a building, which he tunneled under. He surfaced in the pool inside, where he found a key and a boat. He picked up the key and went back the way he came.
When Marth went back to the village, he looked around. Suddenly, he heard a voice.
"Marth? Is that you?"
Marth ran over to a dark yellow building and used the key to open it. He went inside and ran upstairs. He saw Ike on the second floor. Ike was lying on the floor, clad in a red speedo. He looked at Marth.
"Marth," he said, "there you are."
"Yep," said Marth. "I've found you. What brings you here, anyway?"
"Those stupid Shy Guys locked me in here and hid the key!" said Ike.
Marth laughed.
"But they're so pathetic," said Marth. "How could they do that?"
"I don't know either!" said Ike. "That's what I'm trying to figure out!"
"Come along with me," said Marth. "I'll need a big, strong man to protect me."
Ike got up and gave Marth a big bear hug.
"I'll let you go piggyback," said Ike. "I'm strong enough to hold you up. Don't worry about a thing!"
Marth got on Ike's back. Ike then ran out the window onto the balcony and jumped across. Then he jumped across to a large white building. Ike was surprisingly agile. He and Marth went inside.
"This gap is too narrow," said Ike. "You'll have to get off."
"Don't mind if I do," said Marth. He got off Ike's back. Then the two of them crawled through the gap and out to the ledge. They jumped across onto the balcony of a grey building. The two of them went inside.
"Should I pull this switch?" asked Ike, looking at a switch.
"Of course, my ripped friend," said Marth.
Ike pulled the switch. Marth and Ike dropped down to the town square and went in the gap between the white and grey buildings. They saw a gap, which both of them climbed down into. Once they were inside, Marth and Ike went into the next room, which was full of burners separated by water.
"WHOA!" said Ike. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"
"Burners," said Marth. "We can't go across. Let's go in the water."
"Okay," said Ike.
Marth and Ike went underwater and looked around. They could not find a safe spot. They decided to cross the burners carefully since there were spots where there was no fire. Once they were across, they felt relieved.
"What could be worse than that?" asked Ike. When he walked into the next room, he saw swinging pendulum thingies. "Yikes! Don't worry, Marth. I'll handle this like a man." Ike grabbed one of the pendulums with both his hands and made it stop moving so Marth could walk across. He did the same with the other pendulum. At the end of the hallway there was another hallway with big hammers. Marth and Ike carefully crossed them.
Marth and Ike went up a dark staircase, which led to a ladder. At the top of the ladder there was a wall.
"May I?" said Ike.
"Be my guest," said Marth.
Ike punched the glass wall. He and Marth quickly rolled under. At the end there was a library.
"Let's look around," said Marth.
At the other end Robin was reading a book. He was wearing a black speedo.
"Looks like there's more walking fanservice," said Ike.
"Robin!" said Marth.
"Hello, guys," said Robin.
"What brings you here?" asked Marth.
"I was looking for a way out," said Robin, "but then I got trapped in here. I'll come with you."
"Thanks," said Marth.
The trio climbed up the bookcases to a window.
"I tried to get across," said Robin, "but I'm nervous."
"Just hop on my back," said Ike.
Robin climbed on Ike's back. Ike jumped across, followed by Marth. They went across another gap into a building. Marth went over to the balcony to find a key. He then met up with Ike and Robin. Ike pulled a switch, opening a door on the first floor. The trio went downstairs and found themselves in the room with the boat.
"I'll put the key in," said Robin.
Robin dismounted Ike, put the key in the keyhole, and opened a door. The trio got in the boat, with Ike as the driver, and zoomed across a maze. They eventually found themselves in a dark cave filled with water. There was a large arrangement of pillars, which the trio crossed. At the end was a dark room with two green Kritters. Ike fought them with his bare hands and threw them into the spiky pit below.
"How are we going to get across?" said Robin.
Marth looked down.
"Let's take that slide and jump across the ledge!" said Marth.
Marth jumped onto the slide and slid down. Ike and Robin followed him. The three of them jumped onto a ledge, where two blue Kritters awaited. Robin used his Thunder magic to singe them.
"Now what?" asked Robin.
"I see a pair of blocks," said Ike. "I'll take the left block and you take the right."
Ike pulled out the left block, while Marth and Robin pulled out the right more block-pushing was done, until they were able to create a ladder. The three of them climbed the ladder and went through the dark hallway. At the end were some saw-shaped blades.
"No piggybacks for this!" said Ike. "Everyone get across quick."
Marth, Ike, and Robin quickly crossed the blades, barely avoiding injuries. They found another ladder, which led them to a slide with several jumps across burners. At the end was a small tunnel, which they crawled in. They found a dark room at the end. At the far end of the dark room was a switch, which Ike pulled. A door opened nearby. Marth, Ike, and Robin ran through the door, which closed behind them as soon as they got in.
"Looks like there's no turning back!" said Robin.
The trio went down the slide into a room. There was what appeared to be Roy, but it was engulfed by a shadow.
"Roy!" said Marth.
"THOU SHALT NOT TRESSPASS, INTRUDER!" yelled a demonic voice, but Roy's mouth wasn't moving.
"Looks like we have no choice but to fight him," said Robin.
Unfortunately, Marth and Ike were rendered powerless by this fight since they were dumb enough not have their weapons with them, but Robin attacked with Elthunder. He fired at the demon Roy, making him very angry.
"THOU SHALT PAY FOR THIS!" yelled the demonic voice.
Robin then fired Nosferatu right at Roy's head. Soon, Roy's body collapsed as the evil spirit exited his body. The evil spirit vanished.
Roy was lying down at the far end of the room. He wore a dark blue speedo. Around his neck was a pendant with a key.
"Marth..." said Roy, looking up. "Is that you?"
"Yes, it's me," said Marth. "I saved your butt from being possessed."
"You're my hero," said Roy.
"No time to be sappy!" said Robin. "We need to get out of here!"
"But I'm too weak," said Roy.
"I'll carry you," said Ike.
"Thanks," said Roy.
Ike slung Roy on his back. Then he, Marth, and Roy went to the tunnel on the other end of the room. The two of them climbed up the ladder and through another series of tunnels. Eventually, they found themselves back in the library.
"Yay!" said Robin. "Familiar territory again!"
The quartet made their way to the other building near the library (the one where they found the second key) and went down the stairs. Then the two of them went outside. A group of Shy Guys appeared.
"Let's get em!" said Ike.
Ike and Robin fought the Shy Guys, killing them and making a pile of them. Then the quartet went over to a gap between two of the buildings and went to the far end, where a keyhole stood.
"I think I'll need your key," said Marth.
"Don't mind if I do," said Roy.
Roy handed Marth the key. Marth used it. A block moved out of the way, and the four went through the tunnel. At the end was some ruins. They took another tunnel to open a switch. Then, Marth finally heard from Wii Fit Trainer.
"Nice work, Marth!" said Wii Fit Trainer. "You found everyone! Your next mission is going to be in the nearby Orthodox church."
"We're on it!" said Marth.
"Why don't you come help?" asked Ike. "Us guys did all the work."
"Sorry boys," said Wii Fit Trainer, "but I've got to start another one of my exercise DVDs. Tuck in those glutes!"
TO BE CONTINUED