Jemma Simmons had been trying to hide her misery since escaping out of the pod. Sure there were plenty of tasks to complete at the Playground. And that kept her from thinking about what happened down there. And so far no one bothered her about it except for Coulson, and he had kept his lips shut.

But alone in the silence of her lab, every once in a while her mind would wander. And thoughts such as, why did the lab on the playground seem bigger than the one back in Providence? Or, it seems unusually quiet down here, would briefly invade her thoughts.

It was worse when she tried to sleep, so she had only taken to sleeping when she felt sure that she was going to pass out from exhaustion immediately. The less dreams and thoughts, the better. Was the rationale, and it worked.

But she had already figured out the reason why her brain made her feel like the lab was bigger, but it didn't help anyone to dwell in the past, or specifically, internalize or externalize that reason to anyone.

So she instead ignored the reason altogether and continued to work as she did for the past three days since she was able to escape. Working or studying was her way of compartmentalizing and being able to focus on one thing at a time and ignore the rest.

In the end it was Skye who tried to bring it up as innocently as she could, and inevitably forced that reason to the top of her mind, rather than letting it bury itself way down in the crevices of her memory.

Skye and Triplett had kept her company often, but neither would speak, hoping that it would be Jemma that opened up, or better yet, show any other emotion than a blank slate. Fake happiness, anger, sadness, anything would have helped them have a peace of mind that she felt something.

Skye had reasoned that three days was more than enough, and it was weird seeing Jemma not smile or talk, talking to yourself really doesn't count, she thought. Entering the room as loudly as she could to not spook the doctor that looked like she was mixing chemicals around, she began, "So, you never really went into detail about what went down there. Or why Fitz isn't here with us. And Coulson won't say a thing about Fitz right now."

Jemma paused and bit the inside of her cheek and began formulating a response in her head.

"He saved my life down there, we helped each other brainstorm with a way to get out, but I hadn't thought about the rest... And there was only one source of oxygen in the entire pod." She paused and frowned as the memories came flooding back to her. "He gave it to me." She paused again, debating whether she should tell Skye the reason why he decided that she should get the oxygen.

Skye looked on, her face hopeful that just rambling about it would allow Simmons to finally let out her emotions that she kept under lock and key for the past few days. But with Simmon's back turned against her, she couldn't get a read on her.

"And I couldn't just leave him there, so I dragged him up with me. There was no way I'd leave him down there." That was enough information, she thought grimly. The fact that he had confessed to her would remain a secret between herself, him, and Coulson.

There was a tense silence as Skye waited for Simmons to continue, and she was about to say that it was ok, before Simmons continued, "You know, if Fitz didn't wire up the beacon, than we'd have both died with no supplies in the middle of the ocean. That or decompression sickness would have done the job. Fitz was the real hero." She took off her goggles and wiped the newly forming tears off with her sleeve, "He was always the hero."

Skye moved to turn Simmons around to hug her, when Simmons suddenly broke down. Simmon's mind began to focus on him the moment she had finally said his name, and her mind began rapidly filling with new questions and thoughts about the probability that if he didn't wake up soon, the more harmful the damage could be, or how long it would last, or if it would become permanent. Fitz wouldn't be Fitz if he didn't have his mental capacities, and that made her cry even harder.

The doctors had told her the chances were very hopeful since it was only a few minutes that his brain went without oxygen. But the chances of brain damage grew each day. She had already known that, but to hear it again made it more real somehow.

She felt guilty that she still didn't understand her feelings towards Fitz, she felt angry that Ward escaped relatively unscathed, she felt angry that Fitz didn't allow her the time to think of another solution. She felt angry that the doctors wouldn't allow her to help monitor Fitz, she felt angry that Coulson allowed them to take him away, she felt angry at Fury for telling her that her place was with the team, helping them bring down HYDRA and to rebuild SHIELD.

But none of that really mattered to her. If she were completely honest to herself, she knew at the bottom of her heart she really had no reason to be here. The only real reason that she had left was in an unknown location and she had no idea how he was doing.

Life is unfair. She thought before succumbing to the tiredness that ached her heart and body.

AN: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. so please don't sue me.

Also, if you wanted to get a little insight onto how I thought about this. I thought to myself that if someone were able to get two Ph.D.'s within 5-6 years, they must be able to focus really well and minimize outside distractions. A great way to ignore what's happened and to continue to work... until it catches up with you and can't ignore it.

Also, even though Simmons is a doctor. She's not a medical doctor or surgeon of any kind, at least what I've been able to research. Just a research and lab doctor. Completely different fields and jobs. I.E. just because someone has a degree in psychology (neuroscience or cognitive sciences) doesn't mean they're a shrink, in fact, they may be terrible shrinks. So honestly, she wouldn't really be able to help Fitz recover, and would be more of a hindrance to the doctors trying to help him. At least that's how it felt to me.

And I think in Fitz's condition, he'd need to be under constant monitoring by trained professionals who have dealt with situations like these. So that's why, in my head, he's not with Simmons in the playground.

This is also my first time writing, so it may need a lot of revisions to look really smooth. In my head this was less jumbled, and when I wrote out my notes, it made a lot of sense to me. So please help me become a writer by having constructive criticism. It'd be really helpful for me.