"Mooooom! We ran out of cheesy poofs!" I yelled from the sofa. I knew what she was doing, but did I really give a shit? No, no I didn't. I had no cheesy poofs, and the ho was going to do something about it.
"Poopsykins, Mommy's (oh Mr. Travis!) erm, busy right now (oh yes! right there!) could you go get more on your own? You're a big boy now."
I gritted my teeth, and muttered several curses. Stupid bitch ho, telling me to go get mah own cheesy poofs... Well, I wasn't really watching anything right now... and I needed cheesy poofs for the Terrence and Phillip special later... Oh, fine. Goddamnit.
I got up and grabbed my coat off the hanger. It was cold as fucking balls outside. Pulling it on, I left the house and started to walk toward main street. Fucking mom, to busy fucking men to take care of her own son. Bitch, whore, slutty cocksucking... urg.
A rustle brought me out of my wallowing. A I-just-stepped-on-something-that-wasn't-snow sort of rustle. Looking down, I saw something green underneath my shoe. Not pile-of-leaves-or-crap-like-that green either, it was lime jew-ushanka green. What the ever-loving fuck was the jews hat doing not on his jewfro? And under my shoe? Oh god, what if my shoe got nasty jew-rat germs on it?!
I reached down and held it up for inspection. I could only come to two conclusions. One; The jew was so upset/angry, he didn't notice it fall off. Two; Someone stole it. More likely to be the first, since anyone stealing his ushanka wouldn't just leave it on the floor. Unless they were, like, retarded or something.
Frowning, I stuffed it in my pocket and changed my direction to Starks Pond. If the jew was outside and upset, that was where he would go. I was absolutely sure of it, seeing as how I am a self-proclaimed expert in Kyle. That... came out... weird. S-shut up! goddamnit...
Anyway, I was right, of course. The clash of his bright red hair against the white snow was beautiful... I MEAN blinding, because it was an awful colour! Yeah, absolutely ugly! ANYWAY, he was sitting by the edge of the pond, and his back was facing me so I don't think he knew I was here. His shoulders were shaking, which made me frown. very unlikely he would be sitting at Starks Pond, in the snow, laughing. Sooo... he was crying. Which made no sense, I haven't done anything especially bad to Kyle lately, have I? I mean... I was the only person who could make him cry, wasn't I? I should be...
I leaned down, and tapped his shoulder, grinning when he turned to face me.
"Hey Kahl."
His face screwed up in anger.
"What do you want, fatass?"
I leaned up again, so that I loomed over him in what I hoped was intimidating.
"I am not fat, I'm just big-boned! And I want to know why you've been crying."
Even though he tried to hide it, I could see him flinch in his eyes. I was the only person who could see through his facade like that.
"W-what the hell! I haven't been crying!"
I rolled my eyes at this.
"Yeah, you were fag. I was watching you before. So tell me why."
"Why the hell were you watching me? And how did you find me?"
My face involuntarily flared up, so I scowled and tried to hide it.
"I meant that I saw you before I said 'Hi'! Duh! And you dropped this."
I took the Ushanka out of my pockets, but drew it out of the way when he grabbed for it.
"What the hell, man?"
"Tell me why you were crying first."
He glared at me, wariness written plainly on all his features.
"Why do you even care?"
I blushed again, looking away to avoid eye contact.
"I don't! It's just that..." and he drifted off into mumbling.
Kyle got up so that he could look me in the eye. Or sort of. After we hit puberty, my hormones sky-rocketed, and I grew taller than all-but Craig Tucker. And that was expected, I mean, have you seen his family? Their descended from freaking giants.
"what did you say, fatass?"
The familiar, but hurtful words made my blood boil.
"I AM NOT FAT! AND I SAID THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BULLY YOU, OKAY?"
The daywalker looked taken aback, but then his eyes set into that hard glare that he used around me, and he gritted his teeth.
"What the hell Cartman? You're the only one who can bully me? What the fuck gives you that privilege? I wasn't being bullied anyway! I just... found out some bad news." Kyle deflated as he continued, remembering why he had been upset in the first place. The dejected look in his eyes made my heart feel all gross and weird.
"What news? Tell me, or... or I'll throw your ushanka in the lake!" I said, stumbling as I tried to think of a good enough threat. I wouldn't, but I really wanted to know why the Jew was so sad. It was making me feel funny, and I do NOT like being messed with, even if he didn't know how he made me feel inside. I dodged around him, and darted to the water's edge, holding my hand gripping the hat over the pond. Kyle panicked, and wavered, scared that if he came for me I would throw it. A-ah! Wait! Please, don't..." He began, but tears started pricking his eyes, and he knelt in the snow, probably getting his jeans wet, and started rubbing at his face. I stood, astonished as his guard broke down. "I-I'll tell you! urg! S-Stan just t-told me that he's m-moving to LA in a week! Happy now? Y-you've kicked me in my weakest moment! W-why are you always so cruel t-to me?"
I hovered, unsure what to do with a heartbroken daywalker. Letting out a tired sigh, I knelt down, inwardly flinching at the cold, and shook out his hat, before pulling it over his hair clumsily. I obviously didn't do whatever he usually did to contain it, because his jewfro overflowed from the hat, the ushanka only weighing it down so that it bounced around his shoulders. My hands shook slightly as I pushed red curls away from his face, with gentleness that surprised even me. Hesitantly, I placed a stiff arm around his shoulders, before gripping him in a totally awkward hug.
Kyle stiffened at my touch, so shocked that he stopped crying. After a moment though, his body relaxed in my grip, and his arms came up to grip on my shoulders, his own shaking with barely silent sobs. I could feel wet patches grow on my shoulder as he his face in my jacket, and I nervously rubbed his back in stiff circles. The rhythm of his shaking changed slightly, and I was surprised to find small, slightly hysterical, chuckles coming from his chest. "It's like some sort of surreal dream. My best friend in the whole world is moving away forever, and my sworn enemy is comforting me. I have no idea about reality anymore."
Judging him okay, I let go and stood up, before offering a hand to him. He looked at me curiously, before accepting my help, and I pulled him up with little effort. He was a diabetic Jew, and that certainly doesn't help one gain weight. He dusted himself off, dark stains on his knees where the snow had seeped through, and I watched him warily, scared he might start to bawl again.
And I'm sure you can imagine my amazement when the daywalker turned to me with a smile on his face, and not even a 'I've-just-thought-of-the-best-way-to-seek-revenge -on-you' smile. It was one of the happy, make-your-innards-feel-warm-and-fuzzy smiles that he always gave Stan, though that douche-bag sure didn't appreciate their glory.
"Well, thanks. I guess." Kyle said, raising one eyebrow at the situation in general. I mumbled a 'whatever' and avoided looking at him. Now that the event had passed, the awkwardness of the whole thing was catching up on me, and I could feel my face burning.
"What where you doing out here anyway?" The jew asked, still giving me a dazzling smile.
"OH!" I couldn't believe I had forgotten my original purpose, and I checked my watch. Okay, still half an hour until T&P aired, enough time to get the cheesy poofs if I ran. "Shit! I was getting snacks for the new Terrence and Phillip special!"
Kyle's face took on a look of surprise "That's today?"
I gave him an exasperated look "Was I speaking about anything else this morning at the bus stop? Yes, its today! God! Anyway, we have to hurry or we'll miss it!"
...
"We?"
I stopped mid-march and turned back to look at him, a slightly worried look on my face. "I mean, you know, if you wanna watch it with me...?"
I wasn't expecting a beaming grin to take ahold of his face, though I really should have started expecting the unexpected by now "Hell yeah! Lets go already!"
"Well hurry up then, Jew!"
"Don't belittle my people, fatass!"
"Ay! I'm not Fat, I'm big-boned!"
And even though they where the same words we exchanged on a daily basis, this time it was different. Because this time, we were both smiling.
Oh, and we made the showing by the way. And it was awesome.