A/N: My first AU/Humor fic woo! Anyways hope you guys enjoy it. Based on the show Bad Lads Army (which is completely awesome!)

Starring: Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, SaŃ—x, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Roxas, Sora, Riku, Leon, Cloud, Loz, Kadaj, Yazoo, Sephiroth, Ansem, Cid, Vincent, Rude, Reno, Seifer, Rai, Hayner, Tidus and Wakka as the 'Bad Lads'

(Corporal)Richard Nauyokas and (Corporal) Joe Murray as Section leaders

Alastair Rae as the Platoon Sergeant

And Tim Weston as the Provost Sergeant

Warning: Rated M for language and nudity (though not of a sexual nature). Will also contain character bashing and, very likely, OOC moments. But no yaoi (possibly shounen-ai though I'll let you guys decide whether you want that in the story or not)

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. The ones responsible for those blessings are Square Enix and Disney. Nor do I own any of the aforementioned military personnel they are real people from the very real show, here in the UK, Bad Lads Army (which I also do not own).

Summary: Thirty 'bad lads' are sent to a 1950's style British military camp for six weeks. Here they will be made to endure tough mental and physical training to see if they are worthy of the army. Who can handle the pressure? Who can stick it out? Who can't cope? And who will leave crying for their mothers? AU/Humor fic.

Part One: Arrival

Brakes screeching painfully as the driver suddenly slammed her foot down; the dark blue bus came to a halt outside the rusty iron gates. "Alright, everyone off my goddamn bus! And be fuckin' quick about it!" she snapped, practically slamming her fist down onto the button which caused the door to open.

Instantly there was a desperate scrambling of feet, accompanied by lots of chatter, as the occupants of the bus hurried off. Grateful to get away from this crazy woman and her 'the world is gonna end any second' style driving.

As soon as all thirty of the passengers were off of her precious vehicle, the driver sped down the road at what must have been, at the very least, sixty five miles an hour. Each of the boys were positive that they could hear psychotic laughter and yells of delight as the bus faded from view. A few of them shuddered at the sound and others voiced their opinion on the fact that the woman should have been locked up or sent to the mental institute long before now.

"Sooo whatta we do now?" Sora asked his best friend Riku, turning to face the silver-haired boy.

Riku just gave a shrug in response. "I guess we just wait here 'till someone comes to get us." he suggested. There was a snort and a grunt from behind the two boys.

"Wait? As if! We're headin' in right boys?" Xigbar sneered, looking over his shoulder as he addressed Xaldin and Luxord. Xaldin merely grunted indifferently. It was clear the only reason he was even there was to keep an eye on the other two. Luxord gave a sly smile, ruffling both Sora's and Riku's hair as he passed them with his two companions.

"See ya inside, lads!" the blonde said cheerfully with the briefest of waves.

Meanwhile at the other side of the crowd.

"What'd you just say to me Chicken-wuss?!"

"You heard me you gangster-street-punk rip-off." Kadaj sneered at Seifer.

"Seifer's gonna kick your asses for that, mamma's boys! Y'know!" there was a brief silence as both boys waited for the familiar one-worder to come from Fuu. Then they remembered she hadn't been allowed to come because this was a guys only thing. But by the time they figured that out both boys had been knocked to the ground by Kadaj's brothers: Loz and Yazoo.

"We will not allow you to talk about mother that way." Yazoo stated, eyes narrowed in a hateful glare. Beside him Loz nodded in agreement, also glaring at them. Although the tears were starting to build up in his eyes.

"Don't cry, Loz." said Kadaj, patting his big brother's arm reassuringly. "We'll make them regret talking about mother."

"That's enough! The only reason I let you three come was because you promised to behave." growled Sephiroth menacingly as he mysteriously appeared behind them. The three boys shrank back mumbling their barely adible apologies. "Damn remnants..."

"Hey! The gate's open let's go!" exclaimed someone excitedly. There were shouts of 'Demyx get back here, you moron!' as a teen sporting a blonde mullet/hawk raced towards the gates. A red-head and a shorter blonde with spikey hair ran after him.

A/N: Yeah I know this one was kinda short but the rest will be longer, promise! Anyways hope you liked it. Please review, and give your opinions on whether I should have any pairings in this. Also vote on what pairings you want to see in this. And for those of you waiting for the next chapter of 'A Second Chance' I'm having a little dificulty with it so it might be a while yet. Same goes for the people waiting for the next part of 'Who We Once Were'