"Where are the new wine glasses?" Trip asked.

"What for?" Grace replied.

"That should be obvious!"

"Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!"

There was a knock at the door. A clearly intoxicated young female was knocking on the door.

"Come on, let me in." The female slurred.

"Oh, she's here!" Trip said, walking towards the door.

"What?!" Grace exclaimed. "You said she's coming an hour from now!"

"No, she's right on time!"

"Trip!"

"I WANNA GET WASTED!" The female voice from the other side of the door yelled.

Instead of maybe worrying about letting someone so clearly intoxicated into their home, Trip opened the front door.

"Chloe!" Trip greeted excitedly. "Ah, I'm so happy you could make it!"

"LET'S GET WASTED!" Chloe yelled back.

"Uh…"

Trip, unsure what to say, was interrupted by Grace entering.

"No, no, here we are!" Grace said with a fake smile. "Chloe! Hi, how are you? God, it's been a while!"

"Hey girl!" Chloe replied. "You lookin' fine in the booty!"

"Oh, Chloe, you've always got such nice things to say." Grace stated, trying to ignore Chloe's strangeness as she hugged her. "Well, come on in, make yourself at home!"

"By the way, I'm pregnant." Chloe said out of nowhere, sitting on the couch as Trip closed the front door.

"So, Chloe, you can help me understanding where I went wrong with my new decorating." Grace said, completely ignoring her friend's pretty big announcement, probably because this was the sixth time she had announced it this year.

"Grace, we don't need to do that." Trip replied.

"Hello?! I'm pregnant!" Chloe yelled, upset because the spotlight wasn't on her.

"Well, it's funny how after a fully day's work designing magazine ads, Grace finds the time to decorate and re-decorate." Trip said with a chuckle, knowing to ignore Chloe's fake pregnancies she came up with while intoxicated.

"Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out." Grace replied. "So, about my decorating. I just feel like this corner needed something big…and bold…"

"So not Trip's penis?" Chloe said.

Trip and Grace both froze with shocked expressions on their faces.

"I kid, I kid." Chloe said with a laugh and a hiccup.

"Oh, ha ha…" Trip said.

"You're quite the kidder tonight…" Grace continued.

"Never afraid to…push our buttons…you're crazy, ha ha…"

"So, um, what were we talking about?"

Chloe then noticed something on the wall. "What's that?"

"Yeah, that's a new photo from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago." Trip stated, walking towards the photo as Grace sighed.

"It looks like poop." Chloe said boldly.

"What?" Grace said in shock.

"Ha…Chloe, that's why we like you, you're not afraid to give us shit." Trip said, slightly regretting the decision to invite Chloe over.

"LOL, poop equals shit." Chloe stated like she was a genius, laughing.

Grace sighed as the phone started to ring.

"Oh, I'll get it…" Grace started, as Chloe got off the couch.

"No, no, no." Trip replied. "Our friend's here. We can let the answering machine get it."

Before either of them could act any further, Chloe picked up the phone.

"Chloe, no! Don't do that."

"Hello? Hello?" The voice on the phone asked. "Travis, is that you? This is your mother?"

"STOP CALLING, WE'RE WASTED." Chloe yelled to the voice on the phone. "AT LEAST I'D LIKE TO BE."

"Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice." Trip said.

"I-I think have the wrong number…" Trip's mother said, hanging up. Chloe didn't put the phone down though.

"THIS IS MY PHONE NOW!" Chloe yelled. No reaction. After seeing she couldn't get any attention from that, she put down the phone.

"Oh God, Chloe, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained…" Grace said with a sigh.

"What?" Trip replied.

"Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend."

This statement confused Chloe. Did they even argue once tonight? Maybe she was a bit too intoxicated to remember.

"Come on, Grace, it's not helping for you to say that…" Trip started.

"Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend."

"We're not disagreeing."

Trip sighed, and shook the plastic ball in his hand.

"Why not?" Trip read off the ball. Grace sighed.

"What's that?" Chloe asked, gesturing at the ball.

"Oh, that plastic ball is just Trip's little security blanket he keeps by the bar." Grace said.

"N – no, it's just one of those little joke advice toys, you know?" Trip replied, trying to defend himself.

"He's always playing with it, drives me crazy…"

"There's nothing wrong with toys." Chloe said, walking over to the shelf of figurines until she saw one with a particular phallic shape. "Grace has a toy right here."

Chloe picked up the phallic-shaped (toy?) and went towards Grace. "What is this, you naughty girl?"

"So…drinks…" Trip started.

Uh oh. What if that was Trip's toy? Didn't want to make him feel embarrassed. Chloe put the toy down and not another word was said about it.

"I should make you one of my drink inventions." Trip said, walking towards the bar.

Grace turned and whispered to Chloe. "It's a secret – Trip doesn't even like the taste of alcohol."

"What?! So, uh…Chloe, how does that sound?"

How does what sound? Chloe hadn't been listening.

"O…kay?" Chloe said. "As long as it has alcohol."

"Yeah, no, I'm going to make this drink for us!" Trip said, suddenly serious. "Our friend is here, we're going to enjoy ourselves, that's all there is to it!"

Grace let out a frustrated sigh.

"Grace, everybody loves my drinks. Everybody!" Trip said, slightly angry.

"Dang, Trip, you butthurt?" Chloe asked. "I said I'd take it."

"Well, of course, Trip, after all, you got enough practice when you were a real bartender!" Grace suddenly announced.

"Ohhhh snap." Chloe said.

"What?" Trip said in shock.

"In college, you were a bartender." Grace replied to him.

"How do you know about that?"

"Oh, I know you were trying to keep it a big secret, but…"

Chloe by this point had tuned them out. If she didn't get some more alcohol in her system soon she was gonna pull a Hannibal on this dysfunctional couple.

"Ah, you're driving me insane!" Trip yelled at Grace, snapping Chloe back to reality.

"No, I'm the one going insane!" Grace snapped back. "Your big bartender secret. I wish you would just be yourself!"

"Damn, you guys need some help." Chloe said with a laugh.

"Chloe, you're trying to say we've got problems, huh?" Trip asked, getting in Chloe's face. "That something is wrong with our marriage?"

"Yeah, did I stutter?" Chloe snapped back.

"Chloe, I need to ask you something." Grace interrupted.

"Grace…" Trip started to interrupt.

"Trip, let me ask our guest a question. Chloe, yes or no…when you get married…"

Blah, blah, blah. Drink, drink, drink.

"Yeah." Chloe said, not having heard the question.

"What?!" Grace asked in shock. "Oh, yes, that's fine…that's fine…"

A pause.

"Just admit it, Trip, admit it, we have a shitty marriage! We've never really been happy from day one! God damn it!"

"OHHH SHE MAD." Chloe tormented as Grace walked away.

"Yeah, go on, go away!" Trip snapped at Grace as she walked to the kitchen. "I can't freaking take this!"

"So, um…" Chloe started. "Do you wanna get it on?"

Chloe leaned in and kissed Trip.

"Hey, don't…come on, come on!" Trip snapped.

"I know you want it." Chloe replied, coming closer.

"Chloe, this hasn't ever happened before!"

"I don't care, let's get it on!"

Chloe's attempt to turn this story into a bad porno was interrupted by Grace suddenly reentering. "Chloe, Trip is just so…"

"Oh, so we're talking about me, are we?" Trip snapped at Grace.

"Chloe, it's time that Trip just finally admits that our marriage…"

"Grace, no…"

"Our marriage is not…"

"Stop it, stop it!" Trip yelled angrily, then letting out a sigh.

"Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us." Grace said. "Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me…"

"I'm not allowed to be angry?" Trip asked.

"You tell me what to do, you don't listen!" Grace yelled at Trip.

"You have anger issues, Trip." Chloe said, suddenly interrupting.

"Chloe, you're saying that I'm…angry?" Trip asked.

"No shit, Sherlock. Can we get wasted now?"

Trip was starting to get pissed. "Chloe, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?"

"Yes."

Trip sighed. "Chloe, if there's something about me, just tell me what it is!"

"You're gay!" Chloe said boldly. And it probably could've been the truth too, from the way Trip acted around the phallic object that Chloe picked up earlier.

"No, don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more ugly!" Trip yelled to Chloe.

"How is gay a criticism? Homophobe."

"No, let's switch to talking about Grace." Trip said, getting uncomfortable with all this talk about sexuality.

"No, you like guy butts, Trip." Chloe said, not going to let Trip dodge the question.

"Sex, sex, sex, why is sex such a big deal?" Grace interrupted angrily.

"What?" Trip replied.

"Why do people always talk about it so much, when it just makes so many people so unhappy?"

"Do you give it to her good, Trip?" Chloe asked. "Would Trip do better with a man?"

"How can you say…uhh…" Trip interrupted again, before switching the subject YET AGAIN. "Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, you're not an artist. I'm sorry, you're not."

"Chloe, you see, this is what I've had to put up with for ten goddamn years!" Grace yelled.

"Trip, dump this ho and marry me!" Chloe finally yelled to Trip, though mainly because she needed someone to watch her upcoming baby (assuming she was having one and it wasn't just another bad hangover).

"Look, if we're going to talk about marriage, all I can say is, it doesn't turn out the way you expect it to." Grace said, somehow ignoring the fact that Chloe was trying to steal her husband. You'd swear that this couple had selective hearing.

"Grace…" Trip interrupted.

"I'm not saying marriage is a bad idea or anything, I'm just…"

"Grace, no…"

"Grace, are you hiding something?" Chloe finally asked, looking to get this conversation moving so she could drink.

"Chloe, you're saying that I'm…afraid?" Grace asked

"WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!"

"Where? Ah, you want to know more…"

*facepalm*

"Look, let's talk about Trip now." Grace said.

"Grace, c'mon, we can go back to the way it was when we started out…" Trip started.

"TRIP HAS AFFAIRS WITH MEN." Chloe interrupted.

"No, no, don't talk about infidelity, come on…" Trip started. "We all know it's wrong, we don't have to…"

"No, stop it, this is ridiculous, don't talk about this kind of thing…"

"You're nervous, Trip!"

Trip let out a frustrated sigh.

"I bet Maria was a man, too!" Chloe yelled.

"Hey, no, don't…uh, try to accuse me of doing anything with Maria…Grace, don't even think of that…" Trip said in fragments nervously. "Our friend has just gone too far this time."

"Grace, Trip clearly likes dudes." Chloe said, trying to comfort Grace. "Leave him."

"Oh God, Chloe, if you take his side in this…I swear I'll walk out the door…" Grace said angrily.

"Trip likes boys." Chloe continued, hoping it'd get to her.

"Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!" Trip snapped. "Chloe, I know what you're hinting at, okay? About me…about our marriage…do you really want the truth? Huh?"

"Yes." Chloe said. "That you're gay."

"Grace?" Trip asked.

"Yes." Grace replied.

"Chloe, you see, I've been playing close attention to what you've been saying tonight. You've been pushing me. And I wonder, are you really my friend or not?"

"LOL NO I USE YOU FOR DRINKS."

"Trip!" Grace interrupted.

"Chloe, I ask you this, yes or no…" Trip started. "Do you really think that kissing me, praising Grace, criticizing me, saying that Grace is afraid, telling me that I'm angry…"

Chloe had enough of this. No one was giving her drinks and they were treating her like she was Dr. Phil or something. Or Ms. Phil. Whatever.

She knew a way out of this.

"MELON MELON MELON." Chloe yelled, going towards the door.

"Okay, Chloe…" Trip started.

Chloe hit the elevator button. "Hasta la vista, bitches!"

Time to crash somebody else's house to drink.

A/N: This is actually 80 percent one of my actual Façade logs, however it ended way cooler here than it did in the actual game…the actual game just froze up on me because I interrupted Trip too much while he was going through his long speech.

Next chapter, Chloe comes over to try to drink again and learns a shocking secret about Trip.