Growing in love with Rukia Kuchiki
Ichigo Kurosaki stared at the last word he had wrote several years ago. Love. Kind of an interesting one don't you think? It had a specific meaning, yet held thousands of other possibilities. Where had that word led him? How did this one and only word had changed his life so truly? Yes, he needed to continue. Needed to spread that word on a sheet of paper just like it had spread all over his life; completing it. Ichigo smiled slightly to himself, took a new piece of paper out of his drawer and a black ink pen in his hand, and started writing again.
Growing in love with Rukia Kuchiki
1. Couple
From that one night in my family's home, when Rukia and I were alone in the darkness of the room... It wasn't just a kiss that we shared. It was all of our feelings. It was our deepest secrets. It was so much more than what it looked like, that it was impossible to explain it to anyone else. We understood it, and that was what mattered at the time.
The only problem was that we didn't exactly know how to adjust our lives to this new turn of event. Sure, it felt natural and...right, to finally speak out our emotions, to finally admit the truth... But what do you say to this damn perverted old man, to that too freaking curious Urahara- what do you say to everyone? We both didn't have experience in the dating area, and acting like a normal couple, especially in front of other people... It just felt weird.
We didn't act like a regular couple. Why? Because we just weren't two regular person. Our bond had never been simple, it had never even been human to begin with, and we both knew, it was so much more than that. We didn't go on dates like every other lovebirds did. When we had the time to be together, we simply appreciated it and enjoyed those moments, just like we used to. Only, we were now sitting closer, walking arm against arm -sometimes even hand in hand-, smiling more often at each other and on occasions, when it just felt right, secretly sharing a kiss or two. We were together... In our own way.
2. Confession
Even though we both already knew it, those three words had never been spoken yet. Not by Rukia, not by me. Obviously, it just had to slip out of my mouth by accident, one night on our dear old roof.
Rukia and I were simply looking at the dark sky only lighted by a couple of stars. We both were in our shinigami form, her sitting between my legs and resting her head on my chest, and we were mostly talking about Soul Society and our friends here in the world of the living.
Rukia was quiet for a few minutes and for a second I almost thought she was alseep when I heard her talk again, in a soft voice.
"Do you think I should talk to Inoue?"
I half frowned, half raised my eyebrows as I responded, not hiding my surprise. "Why?"
The Kuchiki huffed silently. "Well because we never actually asked her about how she was dealing with this."
Now I was frowing. "This? Dealing? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Come on Ichigo," Rukia said as she slightly moved her shoulders to give me a tiny hit. "Dealing with...you know, us being together."
I looked down at her black raven hair, analyzing her words for a second, then shaking my head. "Can you get to the point? I really don't get it."
The young lady turned around and got on her knees so we were now face to face. "Are you kidding? She must've felt...sad, maybe even broken when we told them."
My eyes were now in an extremely thin line. "Why would she be broken?"
Rukia stood silent for two seconds, then chuckled slightly with an ironic face. "Wow, are you really that blind? You never, never noticed her feelings for you?"
Now my amber globes were wide open. "What?!"
Rukia rolled her eyes at me and scoffed, going back to her previous position between my legs.
We stayed silent for a couple of seconds as my eyes got back to a normal size. I sighed. "She cares about me, just like I care about her. We're friends, it's normal."
It was Rukia's turn to sigh. "Maybe. But have you ever noticed the way she looks at you? It's pretty obvious she cares about you in another way."
I lowered my head to rest my chin on Rukia's own little black head. "Well... Whatever it is, she will be okay. She always is. I admire that about her, really. She always know how to smile. I'm sure she'll be perfectly happy, even though I'm in love with someone else."
I kept looking at the sky, and neither of us spoke for a good minute, simply in the other's embrace.
Rukia's voice suddenly broke the silence. "Hey Ichigo?"
"Hm?"
"Did you just say you loved me?"
My breathing literally stopped for a moment as I could practically feel Rukia smiling. Luckily it was night time because I swear my face felt like it was on fire.
"Huhh... No. Except- except not no..."
"Sooo...?" Her voice sounded playful, yet happy and nervous at the same time.
I frowned slightly. "So what, you love me too!"
She didn't say anything right away, then responded "Who said I did?"
Even though I perfectly knew she was joking, it still didn't feel good to hear. I frowned deeply and move slightly to get up, but something stopped me.
Rukia's slim, soft and perfect hand was on my left cheek, begging me to stay, communicating its owner's feeling in its own way. I froze, then relaxed as I felt her delicate thumb gently stroking my skin. She still had her back to me, but somehow I knew, she wasn't smirking anymore. I sat back comfortably after that, bringing my own hand on her creamy one and closing my eyes as her unspoken words resonated in my mind.
'I love you too'
3. Choice
Eventually, a few months later, we knew our way of living couldn't continue for a life time. I didn't continue school after graduating so I was only working at a part time job and still living under my dad's roof. Rukia came to the world of the living as much as she could, but it still wasn't enough and living apart like this was becoming unbearable. I knew what needed to be done.
I think I had known for a very, very long time actually, but I guess I needed to wait until it was time, until I was ready.
Yes, I moved to the Soul Society and became a true shinigami, permanently.
Rukia was against it at first, saying I couldn't give up my humanity and life here just for her and blah blah blah... She said eveything she could just to hear me say it one more time: my future was with her now.
Finally, she agreed to the idea. I told my family and promised to visit as much as I could. My friends were happy for me too, finally my life was starting to make a tiny bit of sense. Of course it was going to be a whole other way of living...but I was ready.
At first I was planning on finding a place in Rukongai, some district close to the Seireitei's doors, so I could go see Rukia almost everyday, then talk to Yamamoto about adding me to a division. Surprisingly, Yamamoto sou-taicho called me for the captain meeting as soon as I got there. His proposition hit me hard. I sure as hell wasn't expecting this.
Lieutenant Hinamori had finally decided to leave her position as the fifth division fuku-taicho, something about helping the kids in Rukongai instead... Hirako had found himself alone as a captain until he had finally admit to the sou-taicho that he no longer felt at his place here, and wanted to go back to the world of the living. Yamamoto didn't want to leave the squad five without a captain and a vice-captain, so he didn't gave him the autorisation, until today. He was actually giving me that position. Yamamoto said I had showed my value to the Soul Society, and that if I was ready to take those responsabilities in hands, Shinji could go back to the world of the living, and I would be here, as the fifth division captain.
He didn't make me answer right away, and instead, made the other captains vote for it. I was shocked to see almost all of them raise their hand. The three vizards: Otoribashi, Kensei and Shinji, grinning; Unohana; Komamura; Kyoraku; Zaraki, smirking; Toshiro, frowning and finally, a smiling Ukitake. Only Byakuya, Soi Fon and Kurostuchi remained still.
Until Kuchiki raised his hand in the air, his eyes closed.
My mouth literally opened in shock as I stared at those eleven captains, willing to let me handle a whole division by myself.
Yamamoto's voice suddenly got me out of my thoughts. "Kurosaki Ichigo, are you ready to become a captain of the Gotei 13 and lead your soldiers to their goal?"
My thoughts spinned as fast as lightning inside my head, and I almost drowned in it but even so, two words remained clear.
Protect. With this position, I could finally do what I've been destined, born to do: protect the ones I love, and maybe even more people, also loved by theirs.
The other word was actually a name. One stubborn, beautiful and meaningful little name.
Rukia.
I then raised my head and, looking at Yamamoto with burning irises, spoke out one syllable.
"Yes."
4. Falling
Almost ironic wasn't it? I was now the captain of squad five... The same position my enemy occupied a few years ago; Aizen. This division had went trough many difficulties and battles, and only now with Shinji's come back did it looked like the soldiers, the squad was getting back on track. Yet another arrival was being put upon them: me. I didn't know what to do at first, hell I didn't even have a fuku-taicho...but with this one word... Protect... I knew I could turn these soldiers into heroes.
Eventually, a couple of months later, I was finally making progress with my squad. It was so weird calling it that: my squad. But it was the truth, and somehow, deep down, it felt right.
One day, I received the order of going back to Hueco Mundo, along with Hitsugaya and Renji, who volunteered, probably to escape Byuakuya's orders for a few days. Yamamoto had told us that high reiatsu activities were back on this territory, and we had to go take a look. It was supposed to be a pretty simple mission. It was supposed to go well. It was supposed to go as planned.
Only, in Hueco Mundo, you never know what can surprise you.
We didn't see the four new arrancar coming for us. We sensed high spiritual energy, but never knew where it was coming from, what, or who, it was coming for.
Turns out they were coming for us.
Three of them suddenly appeared in front of us, laughing incredibly loud and taking out their weapons to start a fight. We each had one, one of those reborn espadas, and were fighting them with our souls as shinigamis.
Only, I was so concentrated in my fight that I didn't sense that other one coming. I didn't sense his gigantic cero running at me as fast as lightning. I only had time to hear Toshiro's voice yell my name and suddenly felt that burning light rip off my whole side.
I don't quite remember what happened next. I think I fought one of them, maybe two... But then suddenly I was in Soul Society, tens and tens of shinigamis around me. I felt something cold against my back and...something hurting, burning on my stomach. My eyes closed and opened a second later. The room was so noisy...and that damn light. If only they would let me sleep...
"Ichigo!"
That voice made my heart jump inside my chest. That yell, that scream, came from a person oh so familiar to me. Rukia...
I didn't know what was happening exactly, but after hearing that desperate, hopeless, scared voice coming from the person I loved so much... I couldn't let go. I wouldn't let anything fall apart.
5. First time
When I woke up, it was dark, really dark. Was it night time? I looked outside the window. Yes. The moon was shining in the sky, white and complete. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, then suddenly millions of images flashed back into my mind. The fight, the blood, the light, that voice... My hands immediately went to my stomach, searching for a wound, but nothing was there. My skin, my muscles, my flesh was where it was suppose to be and I felt no pain. Nothing at all. There wasn't even one single bandage on me.
Suddenly I heard a small sound next to me. My eyes widened and my heart jumped at the sight of the black-haired fuku-taicho slowly waking up on a chair by my bed.
I smiled at her, waiting for her to come back to this world. After blinking a few times, she widened her eyes and yelled "Ichigo!" as she threw her arms around my neck. I was about to do the same when she suddenly pulled back with a frown and hit me hard on the shoulder.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"For being the biggest idiot on this planet!"
I opened my mouth to protest when I saw the water, the tears in her eyes. My face softened. "Rukia..."
She blinked hard, trying to toss the tears away. "Do you know what ran through my mind when they brought you here almost in two pieces?" Her voice was loud at first but getting quieter and quieter as the words were coming out of her mouth. "I thought you were dead!"
She took a deep breath and let her look rest on the floor when I brought her to me again, only to noticed that she was shaking.
"I'm sorry... I should've been more careful..."
She didn't say anything. We just stayed like that, for a minute, maybe two I don't know. Until she got herself free from my arms again. There was no more liquid in her eyes.
"How long have I been out?" I asked.
"Only two days, your condition was way too bad to heal it without taking the chance of killing you in the process, so I called Inoue."
I slowly nodded. "That's why I'm totally fine now. Remind me to thank her later, again."
It was Rukia's turn to nod. "You're not hurting anywhere?" she asked, looking at me.
I smiled. "Nope, I feel completely normal. Like I never even had been injured."
Rukia kept silent, but I didn't let my eyes go anywhere away from her face. When she sighed, I suddenly saw it all. The emotions she was trying to hide... Worry, relief, fear... She seemed so fragile, and I had never seen her in this state before. I didn't like it.
"Rukia," I softly called her name.
I took her in my arms another time, her head in the crook of my neck. I held her tight, close to me as I murmured "I'll be more careful, I promise."
She sighed quietly again, relaxing into my embrace. My right hand slowly passed from her shoulder to her waist, and she, just as slowly, raised her head to look at me. We were extremely closed, so much that I could feel her breath on my skin. My stare then lowered to her lips, her perfect pink lips, and I brought my head foward while closing my eyes until all I could feel was her lips against mine.
It felt so right, so good kissing her like this, that I knew it could be enough with only one innocent kiss. So soon I backed off, just like one of us always did.
Only this time, she didn't let that happen.
She suddenly pulled me to her and smashed my lips with hers again, her hands on my collar. I didn't widen my eyes nor blinked, I just enjoyed the moment and started moving my lips, getting an immediate response from her. I could feel her heartbeat, her breathing as she desperately kissed me, her eyes shut tight. I gripped her hip with one hand and pushed her back with the other, getting her on the bed with me, moving her body closer to mine. Her mouth left mine for a second to take some air in as she repositioned herself, almost sitting on my lap before she attacked my mouth again. I kissed her fully and brought her chest to mine, making the both of us moan for the first time. I could feel her hands going up to the back of my neck, getting a firm hold of my hair and deepening the kiss even more. I then passed my tongue on her bottom lip and she gasped, letting me in by opening her mouth slightly. I played with her own pink muscle, moving again and again as the temperature arose and our bodies no longer held space between us. I soon noticed something waking up in me, something that probably wasn't needed right now.
"Rukia,"I said as I pulled back, panting. "We should...stop."
She looked at me, her eyes shining and her mouth slightly open to let out the small pants. I could tell by her look though, she had felt my excitment. She knew I didn't want to stop. She knew I was doing this because it was the most clever thing to do.
I guess she didn't feel like acting clever tonight.
"Unohana said you could go home once you'd be up and recovered... Let's go..."
I got up from the bed as she took my hand in her smaller one, and got, as fast as we could with our shunpo, to my room in the 5th squad baracks.
As the door closed and locked behind her, Rukia's hand left mine and she took a couple of steps ahead so that her back was now facing me.
She then turned, very slowly, and her hands went to the knot holding the top of her hakama together. Before I could understand she untied it, leaving her chest wrapped in white bandages exposed.
"Rukia-," I said to stop her.
In less than a second she was to me, putting her finger to my lips, her eyes closed and she spoke. "Shh, Ichigo please...don't say anything..."
I understood at that moment. Even though she wasn't sure about the consequences, she needed me. And I needed her.
I don't remember how we got to the bed, or how we got rid of our clothes. All I could think of was her. Her long and creamy legs around my waist, her twinkling eyes, her lips against mine, the taste of her neck, the light of the moon on her perfect breasts, the heaving movement of her flat stomach, her fingers in my hair as she murmured "Ichigo..."
I knew that was my signal. Parting her legs a little more and cupping her thigh with my hand, I slowly, carefully entered her for the first time.
I don't how how much time it took, for her to adjust and no longer feel pain. I only remember her legs closing around me, bringing me closer, deeper, and her voice as she whispered in my ear "Okay..."
I knew that was my signal. I started moving, very, extremely slowly, not to hurt her again. I finally set a pace and my hand left her thigh to support her slim back while my other hand was supporting my own body on the mattress. Her hands felt the muscles, the wet skin of my arms as she threw her head back, breathing heavily. The feeling was...undescribable. All our senses, all our nerves...our entire souls were focusing on one and only thing: our bodies moving together, filling, completing each other. We were finally one.
Our movements became faster, our hips suddenly meeting and making the both of us moan loudly. I felt something, I felt the intense pleasure our passion brought into me. It was coming. And I knew Rukia felt it too by the way her hands now gripped the blankets. I lowered my head, kissed the skin between her breasts and stayed like that until I knew, by the pants and beautiful sounds coming out of her that she was there, just like I was and suddenly, all I could think of, all I could feel was our bodies trembling in unison, closer than we had ever been, and our hearts, now melting into one.
6. Engagement
Surprisingly our lives, well at least mine, made a lot more sense after that night. I knew exactly what my duties were, and I knew what to do. Not that I didn't understand what my position as a captain meant before, but now, it all seemed to work out together, it all fit. That night seemed to have lighted my path right in front of me, and everything was more clear now. It wasn't about having sex for the first time, it was about me and Rukia. After that night, I knew, I felt our connection. I knew what we had was real. And it was more right than anything else.
Our relationship took another level after that night. It wasn't just about being a couple, it was sharing something we had never shared with anyone before. Our true souls.
We lived like that for...I'm not too sure, a year? Maybe two? Filling paperwork in our respective divisions, going on missions, drinking and laughing with the others on occasional friday nights, visiting the world of the living from time to time and of course, doing all of this while being together.
One saturday evening, we had just finished our daily work in our squads and were simply walking in a meadow of the Seireitei, one only us two seemed to know, and as I glanced at Rukia, her soft face illuminated by the setting sun, her long eyelashes fluttering and her black hair in the wind...I felt that this was the right time.
I had found it before, when I was walking with Ishida in Karakura town. I had found something that I wanted to give to her.
"Rukia..." I started, then bit my lip in hesitation. She turned to look at me, waiting for words. Only, I didn't know how to say it. Hell I didn't even know what I wanted to say... Damn how I sucked at this...
"Hm, I don't...really know how to say this the right way, if there's a right way to do it..."
Rukia stared at me and moved her lips slightly as if she was about to say something, but she didn't. Instead she waited for me again.
I then got it out, that small and meaningful object I wanted her to have.
A ring.
It was silver, almost white in the daylight, with one delicate diamond in the middle. It held something special though, anyone could easily see it: it seemed to be frozen, yet its colour seemed to hold a secret, like it was fighting between hot and cold; fire and ice. It was pure and beautiful.
I was glad to see Rukia still waiting for me to talk, instead of jumping on false conlcusions right away. I wasn't proposing to marry her, that wasn't my current intentions and I felt that we were still too young for that.
"I...I saw this in the world of the living and...it immediately made me think of you...of us. I felt like you needed to have this."
Rukia opened her mouth a little. "Ichigo..."
I gently took her hand. "Can I?" I asked before slowly slipping the ring on the appropriate finger after seeing her nod. It suited her, more than I even thought it would. This ring was made for her, and now, belonged to her.
"It's beautiful... Thank you," she said as she admired the ring before smiling up at me. I obviously returned the smile, widely and sincerely.
She then sat on the ground, looking at the sun slowly going down. I knew she wanted to watch the sunset, and as always, she wanted me by her side. She didn't need to say it though. I sat down too, bringing her close to me between my legs like we often liked to do. She rested her head on my chest and I placed my chin on the top of her head as my arms wrapped around her waist. I felt her hands taking their place on mine and I looked at the ring again before slowly raising her hand in the air, until the unique diamond was shining in the sun light. We both admired it as our fingers intertwined like it was a reflex, like it was natural. And it was.
"You know, it kind of look like we're engaged..." said Rukia as if she was looking for a specific answer.
I didn't widen my eyes. Deep down, I already knew that. That was probably one of the reasons why I even bought the ring in the first place.
I smiled slightly. "I know."
That must've been the answer she wanted to hear since a few minutes later, as we watched the sun slowly disappearing, I heard her say three words I'll never, ever forget, even if she had and will say it again in the future.
"I love you."
Tightening my grip on her stomach and on her hand, I finally smiled again, and whispered, only for her to hear "I love you, Kuchiki Rukia."
And in the end, one thing was sure. Our story was just starting.
Ichigo finally stopped his hand from moving, his eyes staring at the last sentence, reading it again and again as the words printed into his heart one by one. The meaning of that last sentence made him put the pen back on the desk as a soft sigh escaped his lips.
"What in Kami's sake are you writing again Ichigo?" the rather annoyed voice made him widen his eyes and jump in surprise to the point of almost falling from his chair. He turned around to see a frowning black haired lady.
"The hell Rukia! Can you not scare the shit out of me for once?"
"Tsk, it's your own fault for sneaking out of our room in the middle of the night." The man rolled his eyes. "So," she continued "what are you writing?"
Ichigo gave his paper another quick look. "Just...paperwork."
"Liar." Rukia took a few steps to approach him until she was right beside him, reading the text he had just wrote.
"Again with this thing about me? What is there more to say, you already said everything in that previous one you did. And I never got to hear the actual reason by the way."
"What reason?" asked the captain, turning to face her.
"The reason why you're writing this. I can't speak for this one but in the one I read, you were a real Shakespear."
Now she was smirking.
Ichigo frowned deeply. "Forget it, it's only useless anyway."
He shoved the paper in the desk drawer, got up and was about to get out of the room when Rukia stopped him by taking his arm in her tiny hands. "It's not... It's...beautiful."
He slowly turned around, but her face was hidden since she kept her gaze on the floor. Ichigo put a strand of her raven hair behind her ear, just like he loved to do, and she raised her head.
"Really?" got out of his mouth before he could even stop it. She nodded in response, which brought a small smile to the male's lips.
It didn't sound like her to say such things, to be so honest, but then again...maybe it was the hormones and mood swings?
"Let's go back to bed, shall we?" said Ichigo, taking her hand in his.
As he saw her other white hand going straight to her stomach though, he stopped, only to look at the gentle gesture she had already picked up.
"What?" she said as she noticed Ichigo's stare on her belly.
He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing... I just still can't believe you're carrying our baby..."
Her amethyst eyes seemed to be locked in his amber ones. She smiled at him in returns. "I know," she whispered.
Ichigo lowered his head until he dropped one, soft, loving kiss on her sweet lips and both their gazes got to her stomach again, looking at their soon to be own little baby.
(A/N: Finally back after a few months with another one-shot! I hope you liked this sequel of 'Falling in love with Rukia Kuchiki' and please please let me know what you think of it! |Death and Berry|)