Sequal of sorts to Mierna Sanka. Another experimental piece, another story with some disturbing imagery. This story is told from the view of Lilly Rush, and is based on the song "Mental Pictures" by Solitude Aeturnus. I do not own Cold Case or it's characters, and I do not own the lyrics to "Mental Pictures". CC and it's characters belong to a group of people, and Mental Pictures belongs to a band called Solitude Aeturnus. Am I done?
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Mental Pictures
Pulled to the twisted spiral stairs
you falling down
The promise of the treasure bright in our eyes
Our movement sure
We fool ourselves
Taken like chattle in the gates of their keep
Shrouded in ignorance we bow at their feet
Sacrificing the world outside
to suffer mental pictures in my mind
To drown in delusions
Pulled to the twisted spiral stairs
you falling down
Unpainted pictures trick the blind to see 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Our thoughts clear
We fool ourselves
I remember Scotty coming over, and I remember him seeing all the marks on my body.
The cuts, and bruises that reminded me each and every single day that I was alive. I relished in this fact, and inwardly smiling because I loved it. When "he", Scotty came walking in, unannounced and uninvited and started in on me I put up my walls. He wasn't about to find out. Still I could hear him persisting and pleading for me to tell him. I stood up, and used all of my strength to try and shove him out the door. I should have known I couldn't do it, he was far too strong for me. He grabbed me close to him, and demanded that I tell him what was going on. Oh God, that was such a turn on. I wanted more, I wanted him to hurt me.
It was my turn to beg him. Like a needy child I begged him to hurt me. I shouldn't have been too surprised when he refuses to. Scotty's a nice guy that would never hurt anyone unless they deserved it. I deserve it though, and I continue to beg and plead with him, and he still refuses. I confide in him that for the past few weeks I've been attending an underground club. A place where people take pleasure in abusing and being abused by people. Suddenly in the midst of my confession I realize that the wall I've built around myself is starting to crumble. It's too late though to turn back. I lay into Scotty my deepest secret. The only time I feel alive is when I'm being hurt. Every snap of the switch against my skin, every cut to my body, every thing else they do to me it makes me feel so alive and I can't help but to enjoy it and I just want more of it.
I feel Scotty carry me to the couch. I oblige, helpless that I feel, but I shouldn't be feeling helpless. I'm strong, and I never crack, and even when I do I can just rebuild the wall again. He sits down on the couch and holds me, but he does nothing else. I rest my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Now that Scotty knows my secret I wonder if he'll tell anyone? I don't want him to, because I didn't plan on showing him. He just found out. I try to block away the thoughts I have. Finally I fall asleep in Scotty's arms.
End.