AN, or, the explanation to this madness: So, once upon a time, I, for some reason, tried to write Naruto fanfiction.

To be perfectly honest, I'm actually somewhat proud of this piece. It's AU as they come and makes no sense whatsoever without a lot of background, but it is the one time I believe I managed to emulate a Naruto-ish voice.

This fic is a bit of a reaction-fic. It started with the idea that Naruto would be a timetraveller, and a bit of a Mary-Sue - within reason. So Naruto had to be an adult, and obviously if he's lived this long he's going to be awesome, so this is, let's say, a thirty-ish something super!Naruto.

Naruto became a girl quite simply because if Naruto is going to be an awesome thirty-ish super!ninja I imagine he'd have two point five children... But I couldn't decide which girl would have had his kids, and I didn't want a harem. I did, however, easily choose which guys would have fathered her kids. (Said kids are named Arashi and Shippuu, because Naruto named them and she's the kind of person to use such cheesy names. Also I kind of liked them. XD) Thus the gender swap.

The current scene is "not long after Naruto ends up in the past," using the idea that Naruto wouldn't immediately merge with her younger self but wander around a bit in her awesome older body. She's met Jiraiya and kind-of-maybe explained the situation to him. Then they meet Orochimaru, who uses the Impure World Resurrection Jutsu. Because I love Minato.

I do hope you enjoy. Please tell me what you think!

Dust to Dust

Naruto decided that enough was enough. She did not as much walk as stride up to Jiraiya, very deliberately stopping just a bit in front of him – still very pointedly between him and Orochimaru.

Still very pointedly between him and the dead man Orochimaru had just summoned.

Tall. (Why couldn't she have gotten a little of that height?) Blond hair and blue eyes. (Like hers.) He looked young, as he had on the day he had died... The Yellow Flash of Konoha. The Yondaime Hokage. (Jiraiya's student. Naruto's father.)

She took a deep breath.

Then she smiled, as wide and confident as she had ever made herself feel. And one second (Orochimaru looked gobsmacked), and hold (Yondaime's eyes widened ever so slightly), and GO – "Hey! My name is Naruto, and don't you forget it!" – look into Yondaime's eyes, and he's starting to smile now, (is that happiness in his eyes?) don't get distracted, smile mustn't falter – "I'll be the one fighting you!"

Minato's eyes had such a longing in them, Jiraiya mused. They had looked so dead just a moment before. But now there was a very soft smile on his face, in the barely-there tilt of his lips. Jiraiya doubted anyone who didn't know the man very well would have been able to read those emotions on his face unless they were trained for it and paying lots of attention. Orochimaru wasn't able to see it – he was still looking at Naruto with a bit of incredulity, but pondering quickly overtaking the look on his face. Naruto... He felt, for a very short moment, but he felt it nonetheless, the urge to look down, bite his lip, close his eyes – Naruto wasn't able to see it. Her whole attention was on Minato, but she wasn't trained for it and she didn't know the man... Minato... her father... she didn't know him at all.

No matter how blatantly Minato showed his emotions, Naruto wouldn't be able to see their full depth and scope.

But Minato's smile was quickly growing, becoming something like the grins he used to give Kushina and Kakashi and Jiraiya himself. "Naruto," he said, and Jiraiya was once again sure he was the only one there to hear the trepidation and uncertainty on that pleasant voice, "I am very glad I'm able to meet you. You... You grew up, a lot, didn't you? How old... how old are you now?"

(Jiraiya felt a little like smacking himself on the forehead. Or maybe going over there and smacking Minato. What use is hiding the nervousness in your voice, the little teacher's voice in his head wanted to yell, if you go and give it away so blatantly in your speech patterns?)

But Naruto smiled, and although it was a nervous smile, it was also glad and cheerful and full of bravado. "It's a long story. But! I'm an adult now! And I'm this totally kickass ninja now, no seriously, you should have seen some of my fights, and I've made awesome friends, and I've got two kids now!"

(Jiraiya felt like smacking someone again. Did Naruto really have to brag at a time like this? And bring her kids into it? And then, of course, he realized that Naruto had her back to him and he didn't know her well enough to read her when she spoke with such a loud, forcibly confident voice, and thus had no way of knowing if she was trying to provide a distraction or was accidentally giving away information or if, perhaps, she wanted to tell her father about her life.)

Minato, predictably, focused on the last sentence. His eyes widened in surprise, "children? You've got..." and then he started grinning like a madman. "I'm a grandfather?"

It was at this point that Orochimaru, who was probably feeling a bit left out in the middle of this lovely family reunion (Jiraiya certainly felt like he was intruding), decided to announce himself by laughing that incredibly creepy little laugh of his.

"A grandfather? How touching. I had no idea you were a father, Minato-kun. Congratulations." A sly smirk and a silky voice. "Although maybe I should be berating you for doing such a terrible thing to your own daughter... Do you know how much she's suffered due to the thing you sealed inside her?"

Minato didn't seem to have heard him. "Tell me about them," he demanded. And then in softer tone that somehow held even more steel, "tell me about you." ...okay, maybe he did hear Orochimaru. Then again maybe he just realized Naruto wasn't one who understood subtlety.

A brief flash of irritation passed over Orochimaru's face. "I think you are forgetting something," he said in a (fake) bored tone. "Minato-kun. I order you to kill them. The two of them. Start with your daughter." And then, as if he couldn't be bothered anymore, he turned his back on them as if to leave. (Jiraiya knew better. Orochimaru would just look for a vantage point where he could safely watch the ensuing battle. Jiraiya, however, had no intention of letting him leisury watch this.)

Minato's smile didn't fade, but it took on a decidedly predatory quality. "Let's see just how good a ninja you are, Naruto. Show me your skills." And a Rasengan started quickly forming in his hand.

Naruto didn't seem intimidated at all. "Ero-Sennin! Go after Orochimaru! Leave this to me!"

For just a moment, Jiraiya hesitated. He was only now seeing – he could admit it, someone he'd loved – again after he'd thought Minato lost to death. But he could admit to himself that he couldn't defeat Minato. Maybe it would be smart to work with Naruto to defeat the Yellow Flash, but he didn't know her well enough for them to work seamlessly together yet – what he did know was that she was very powerful and, despite her demeanor, very competent, and if she thought she could hold their opponent off then he might just get in the way. Besides, she deserved to spend time with the father she hadn't known, more than he deserved to spend more time with the student he'd already had a lifetime with. And beyond that... someone had to go after Orochimaru.

(He ignored the indignation that said she didn't know Minato at all, why should she deserve to spend time with him if she didn't love him less than half as well as those who knew him? He ignored the feelings that, if they would only translate themselves into words, would say that he was furious at Orochimaru for pulling this stunt, and he was already very hurt that his teammate would do this to him. It would hurt less, right then, to kill Orochimaru, than the hurt he would feel at having to hurt Minato. At having to kill Minato. He really hoped he wouldn't hate Naruto after this. He thought that if it didn't hurt her– he would.)

So he left.

Naruto has to move fast to get between Ero-Sennin and the Yondaime when the old perv leaves. Yondaime is still smiling that don't-fuck with-me smile – or maybe it's a please-give-me-an-excuse smile? – but she thinks it has an amused edge as he asks her, "You call him Ero-Sennin?"

"Yeah, well." She shrugs, unexplainably the slightest bit embarrassed. "He is a self-proclaimed super pervert." He looks at her for a fraction of a moment, and then he laughs just a bit and says, "I like it!"

And then he's flying at her, Rasengan ready, and she redirects his arm by pushing with her left palm, right ready to strike at the gut or solar plexus – he's wearing the standard jounin vest but she's adding wind chakra to the strike and with her power it will pierce right through; but he's already twisting and bringing up his left hand for a glancing blow. It barely registers; no noticeable damage done – and then they are apart again and she takes a breath and starts.

"Arashi is older than Shippuu. They have different fathers and in the beginning they didn't always get on well, but now they're very close."

He actually stops. Not preparing for an attack, not considering an angle, he just stops and listens. There's not a hint of hunger in his face or body, but her instincts say he's a hungry man all the same.

"Both their fathers were my teammates," she tells him because she's heard parents generally appreciate knowing who knocked their daughter up, "they were both mission babies. It was a pain in the ass going off duty and not being able to train while I was having them – it pretty much nearly drove me crazy, and I nearly drove everyone else crazy... hey, don't laugh, it was self-defense, okay! Being knocked up is boring and hard and just all around shitty!" she paused, mostly to see if he was going to add something, but he just kept looking at her with that strange look in his eyes. "But I'm glad I had 'em. Even if they did both turn out to be really goddamn stubborn kids and it gets really fucking annoying sometimes." She scowls comically before brightening up. "But they totally got that from their mom, so I suppose I can't complain! – and anyway they. are. awesome. Well they'd be awesome anyway 'cause they're my kids, but they are even more awesome for being them."

She recognizes the strange look in his eyes now. Mostly because talking about her kids made her think of kids and their parents and that look was fondness, the kind you feel for someone you love a lot, and it makes her feel kinda funny so she barrels on.

She tells him about Shippuu's first crush, because that was hilarious, and then she tells him about Arashi's first crush, which was much more normal but at the time she wasn't really sure if it was the cutest thing ever or if her world was ending, and then he asks, with that feeling-that-her-instinct-said-was-something-like-hunger intensifying a bit, "what about you?"

And she pauses a bit at that because even her friends hardly everwant to listen to her, much less hear about her, even when she's got these really awesome stories to tell. She's glad they put up with it more often these days, and they don't often tell her to shut up anymore, and sometimes they even ask her to go out but she knows very well she's loud and annoying and too much of a chatterbox. And the Yondaime wants her to tell him more about herself, and it kind of makes her stare a bit.

Only he's gone very very still as if he's part of the scenery and the not-hunger has almost reached his eyes.

And then she remembers that this man is her father and she doesn't quite know what to feel but if there's something she never really had trouble with it's talking and if he wants to listen to her voice, well she can do something about it.

So she tells him about Sakura-chan who she desperately wished would be her friend 'cause there's no way she's telling him about her first not-innocent crush, which was Sasuke, because Sasuke is an asshole and a bastard and a violent and abusive one at that, and if she starts on him she'll work herself up into a rage and a loooong rant and he doesn't really need to hear that. After that he attacks again, and as they fight he tells he a bit about him and her mother and his team and the image of itty-bitty Kakashi makes her snort with laughter which nearly lets him get an important artery, and then they just fight a bit more. And after that they tell each other more stories, quick and rushed because neither of them know how long this might last.

Naruto feels kind of light-headed and kind of like she can let herself believe in his not-quite-hunger because she's feeling a little desperate now. It's strange because she's never had trouble opening herself to others, connecting with people she feels can understand her if only to get through to them, but at the same time she tends to keep her secrets close. She feels, she feels. She feels a bit like she's spilling little pieces of her life, of herself to him, to this dead man in front of her.

(Naruto doesn't know shit about the Kushiyose: Edo Tensei and doesn't bother thinking about it, which might be a good thing because the thought that this might not really be Namikaze Minato never goes through her head. She does however keep very quiet on anything that might be sensitive information, out of habit and because it's been pounded into her head and because she's very good at keeping quiet about the really important secrets. It doesn't matter anyway because both of them grew up like this and thus neither of them notice a thing.)

She tells him about her children and her friends and herself. She tells him about her likes and dislikes and hobbies and dreams for the future. (And if she keeps them short and brief and shallow, well they don't have the time.)

She tells him about that long-ago day when Kakashi-sensei ordered them to introduce themselves, and she tells him about her dream of being acknowledged. Like Sandaime-jiji who was the closest thing she ever had to a grandfather even if he had no time for her, and like the Yondaime Hokage who was her hero.

And for some stupid reason that makes no sense whatsoever she's kind of a little bit afraid of looking at him now, but she doesn't let herself look away, because Uzumaki Naruto was afraid of very little and Namikaze Naruto is afraid of less, and if she wasn't afraid of fighting the Yondaime she ain't gonna be afraid of looking at her father now.

And so she sees the way he smiles, soft and wondering a first, and then gleeful and very very proud and happy, and she can't look away and for a moment she can't get past the thought that she put that smile there.

She straightens from a parry as the Yellow Flash drops the kunai and jumps away, and suddenly she knows with a suffocating certainty that their time is coming to and end.

He smiles at her, a bit sadly, and says, "you seem to be okay. From what you tell me, you have good friends and good kids. I'm glad."

She smiles at him, wide and cheerful. "Yeah! I think so too! ...I'm glad too." And suddenly she's serious: "I love them a lot, you know."

And although he's just as serious, his eyes are soft as he quietly says, "I love you a lot too."

He starts walking closer, moving slowly, talking quietly, "I loved you on your first day, from the moment you were born. I loved you before that, before I'd seen you, when I felt you kicking inside your mother's belly. I loved you when Kushina told me she was pregnant. I first started loving you on the day I looked at Kushina, and realized that one day she and I would have a child. I loved you, so, so very much."

He puts his hand on her shoulder.

"But I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to watch you grow up. I'm sorry I wasn't there to grow to love the person you became."

She knows there is no way he won't feel the way she's shaking (just a bit! It's hardly anything!). The moment stretches on.

"...I forgive you."

His smile is as soft as his eyes. "Thank you. ...Thank you for being you."

She feels the start of chakra moving in his hand, but she stays still just that little longer as they hold each other's eyes and she hears him say, "Please remember that I love you all the same."

And then she kicks herself far from him and he takes out a kunai and then he's in front of her, kunai in one hand and Rasengan in the other, and it doesn't matter at all because she's been powering Fuuton: Rasengan and thrust her hand out and it rips through his Jounin vest with laughable ease.

It rips through his skin with laughable ease.

She snatches his kunai and uses it to dig into the back of his head even as he falls, slipping out Orochimaru's special kunai, and then catches his body and turns it.

Naruto watches as her father's face crumbles to dust.