"Dad?"
Sam is surprised by John standing in the doorway of his apartment, four years to the day since his father told him if he was leaving to never come back. If anything, this was probably the very last thing in the world he ever expected, yet the heavy leather jacket over plaid shirt tucked into a worn pair of dirty jeans covered the same long rangy body he'd seen throughout much of his lifetime. Of course he was more used to the back of John as he walked away, but that wasn't important as the fact his father was here.
Now.
With Jess in the other room.
"Sammy."
Just his name and nothing more, but oh God his tone. His tone.
"No! No! Fuck you, he's not dead. He's not dead!"
"Sam?"
The youngest Winchester spun around and saw Jess standing in the archway of the living room, her body limned by the lamplight spilling out from behind her. She looked angelic - and odd for him to notice for the first time and at this exact moment - a lot like his mother. Maybe he was more like his dad then he ever supposed.
"It was quick. The doctors said he never felt a thing."
A large chapped hand clamped down on his shoulder, the shape as familiar to him as his own. His father wasn't a demonstrative man on the best of days, so this was the equivalent of a hug from anyone else. It was the touch more than anything that convinced him John wasn't lying or pulling a fast one on him.
His brother, his soul, his best friend, was dead. And it was all Sam's fault because he wasn't there to cover Dean's back or side.
A/N: Oddly enough this was inspired by Waldorph's amazing "Lies Your Captain Told You" which is a story set in a completely different genre/fandom (a Star Trek 2009 Jim/Spock one-shot for anyone interested in going to AO3 to read it). I've watched (and re-watched) all of Supernatural's eight seasons many times and have a lot of favorite episodes/moments, but for some reason I was immediately struck as this happening in the pilot after the prologue. I know, I know, I'm a mean bad horrible person for killing him off but it just struck me as having more of an impact on Sam if it's Dean and not John who died. And now I've probably written more in the author's note than I did the story.