Ten Years Gone

by Leonard 356

What would have happened if Castle never returned to the 12th after leaving with Gina at the end of the 2nd season? My first FF.

1. Chapter 1

Ten Years On

Word count: 16342

"And to whom do I make this out to?" Richard Castle inquires without looking up. It had been a long day with the book signing and the promotional interviews surrounding the release of his latest novel. The Barnes and Noble in downtown San Francisco was packed when he arrived. The initial reviews for his newest book have been very good, so there was significant interest by his fans. Sitting beside him, the young boy was lost in thought, tongue skewed sideways half out of his mouth with a look of determination as he wrestled with the crayon. Rick glanced at him briefly and smiled for a second. Nothing could have prepared him for what he heard next.

"Kate, could you make it out to Kate?" Nearly dropping his sharpie, his head snapped up to see where the sound was coming from. After all of these years without any contact whatsoever and 3,000 miles from what used to be his home she appears before him. The sunlight cascading through the windows giving her an etherial like halo, Rick blinked to adjust his vision. She handed the book to him while he looked at her left hand for any sign of a ring. There was none.

Rick swallowed hard and inquired "is there a last name, Kate?"

"Just Kate." she replied.

Rick immediately started writing on the page. This was something more than the typical one-liner usually reserved for his fans. Once done, he looks up to Kate and offers a sad smile "It's good to see you Kate. I have to be here for a little while longer, but I'd like to have a cup of coffee and catch-up if you'd like."

Kate is a little surprised by the offer. She pauses as if to gather her thoughts, her lips pressed tightly together. She relaxes a little and offers her own weak smile. "Yeah, yeah I'd like that. How much longer will you be?"

"Probably 30 minutes. You're welcome to sit with my assistants while I wrap things up here." he gestures towards the boy and the young blonde woman sitting beside him.

"I think that I'll just wander around the store. I hear there's a new Patterson novel out that I must read." Kate replies flatly. Rick clutches his chest as if wounded and smiles. This time the smile seems less forced. Rick continues to sign books being his usual charming self trying to make everyone feel important. Wendy, his assistant, examines her watch and walks down the line of people drawing the velvet covered rope across the entrance. She apologizes to the people on the wrong side of the line stating that Mr Castle has other appointments and is out of time.

Rick finishes with the last signing and glances over to the boy and Wendy. Castle can't help but think back to all of the book signings that he took Alexis to when she was the same age. This time the reason is different – and it breaks his heart all over again. He grabs his sport coat that was draped over the back of his chair. The boy seeing Rick get up runs over to him wrapping his arms around his thigh. "Hey daddy, can we go home now?"

"I'm sorry little man, but I promised to meet with an old friend for a few minutes. Then we can go home. Is that ok?" Rick smiles while running his fingers through the boys hair. "I'll tell you what, if you promise to be a good boy and do what Wendy tells you to do, I'll let you go get ice cream. Is that a deal?"

Letting go of Rick's leg, the boy looks up and smiles. "Deal!" he says while running over to Wendy taking her hand. "Let's go Wendy, daddy says I can have ice cream."

Wendy smiles down on the boy as Rick walks over to her handing her a couple of 20's. "That should cover it, I hope. I'll meet you both back here in an hour. Ok?" Rick bends down and gives his son a hug before turning around to head towards the entrance.

He sees Kate looking at the words that he wrote in her book. The look on her face gave no indication if she was pleased or pissed-off. It didn't really matter anyway. In an hour she would be gone again, probably forever this time. He makes his way through the crowd as people come up to shake his hand. It's hard to be anonymous when there's a life size cardboard cutout of you by the main entrance. He charms his way through the crowd to where Kate is standing, a bemused smile on her face. "You know, sometimes I forget that you are some type of celebrity." Sarcasm dripping with her words.

"Why detective Beckett, you wound me with your words." Rick gives her his best innocent look. "I believe that I promised you coffee and conversation, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did. And it's special agent Davidson." Kate replied.

If Rick was surprised, he didn't show it. He simply smiled and offered his elbow to her. "Shall we go then?" Kate stuck her arm through his and they walked out the door.

The Starbucks was less than 200 feet from the book store. Rick waited for Kate to enter first and then turned to her. "You find us someplace to sit and I'll order our drinks. Do you still drink the same thing that you used to?"

"Do you remember? After all it's been 10 years." Kate replied.

"Something that important, of course I'd remember." There was a hint of disappointment on Rick's face as he said it. Kate found a small table in the back of the shop and Rick ordered their drinks. A few minutes later Rick returns to the table with their drinks. Kate took one sip and knew that he hadn't forgot the way she liked her coffee. For 2 years Castle was always the one to provide her with a cup of coffee exactly when she needed it.

They sat there for a couple of minutes sneaking glances at each other. Castle wasn't a bit surprised that Kate was as beautiful as he remembered. Gone were the designer clothes that she always seemed to wear, replaced with a very professional dark blue suit that reminded him of Jordan Shaw. Her hair was nearly as short as it was when they first met. Castle assumed that it was another concession made to her job. Her face looked older, but he found the changes made her look even more fascinating. He knew that there was probably a story with every line.

"There's so many things that I'd like to talk you you about Kate." Castle decided to break the uncomfortable silence that was between them. "I told my assistant and my son that I'd be back for them in an hour. I wish we had more time. Did you say special agent? Are you with the CIA?" Rick gives her his best innocent look.

Kate can only smile remembering just how charming he could be when he wanted to. "No, I'm a special agent working out of the AG's office in Washington DC."

"Oh, so you're a G-man then?" Castle chuckles. "What brings you all the way out to the left coast? Chasing some nefarious criminal mastermind?"

Now it's Kate's turn to chuckle. "No, nothing as glamorous as that. We're investigating a congressman from this state that is suspected of trading his vote for illegal campaign contributions." She pauses for a second and then asks a question that she already knew the answer to. "San Francisco, huh? What brings you out to the west coast? I thought that you quit doing book tours?" She already knew that he had moved to California 8 years ago when Alexis started at Stanford. Anyone who followed Richard Castle on his web site knew that, but she wasn't going to let him know that.

"I was coming to the city for other business. Gina and Paula both conspired against me - promising me that if I did this one signing and series of interviews, I'd be off of the hook for further obligations... I kind of miss doing these signings, meeting the people who read my books.. Don't let Paula or Gina know that. And besides, you never know who you may run into.." He looks directly into her brown eyes and smiles. Trying to change the subject away from himself to a safe topic, he inquires "So how's your dad?"

Kate is surprised by the question, but then looks at her left wrist where his watch rests. She gently touches it and looks back to Rick. "Dad's doing fine. He just retired last year and bought himself a place down in Key West. He said there was nothing keeping him in New York anymore now that I left." She paused for a second as if debating whether or not to say anything. "You know he really liked you?"

Now it was Rick's turn to be surprised. "He did? I didn't think he knew anything about me."

"I told him stories of our cases that we worked together, how you were always there to help, and how you paid $100,000.00 in an attempt to catch my mother's killer. He thought you were an honorable man." A look of sadness washes over Kate's face.

Rick looks at her expression. He desperately wants to say something clever or witty to lighten the mood, but knows that this isn't the time. Instead, he reaches across the table and gently strokes her hand. "It's ok Kate. I'm glad to hear that someone in the Beckett family liked me."

"He wasn't the only one." Kate replies, her voice barely above a whisper. "My mother loved your books. The first time I met you was at a book signing a month before she was murdered."

Rick continued to gently stroke her hand. "I'm so sorry Kate if I'm responsible for any bad memories of your mom."

Kate's fighting back tears now. "Don't be Rick. That was one of my last happy memories of her. I was back in New York for semester break and holidays. Mom saw that you were having a book signing at the Barnes and Noble and talked me into going with her. You were your usual charming self - Alexis was sitting there beside you coloring, just like today, and you introduced her to mom. She was so taken by how you looked at Alexis with such love, she nearly cried. I still remember her telling me as we left how she hoped that one day I would be lucky enough to marry a man who loved his children as much as you loved Alexis." A single tear escaped down he cheek as she spoke.

To say that Rick was shocked by Kate's confession would be a masterpiece of understatement. In all of the time he had worked with her she only showed any vulnerability to him only once - He had decided after the botched attempt to catch her mother's killer that he needed to quit following her to protect her. Kate then confessed to him that she wanted him to stay telling him that she liked him 'pulling her pigtails'. That was the only time in 2 years. He wasn't sure what to say.

She jerked her hand away from him and quickly wiped the tear from her cheek fighting to not look weak in front of him. As she returned her hand back to the table, he grabbed it between his hands and gently pressed. "Thank you, Kate. That may be one of the nicest things anyone has said about me. I may not be the best husband, or writer in the world, but I always tried to be the best father I could be." Just as he finished talking, his phone began to vibrate.

Picking it up from the table where it was resting, he knew it was Wendy. 'Had it been an hour already?' he asked himself. He answered the phone and glanced across the table. Kate was still visibly shaken. He couldn't leave with so many questions unanswered, but he has responsibilities. Pressing the accept button he held the phone to his ear. "I'm sorry Wendy. I lost track of time. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Tell Alex daddy's on his way." Pulling the phone away from his face he pressed the end button.

Kate listened to the conversation and seemed to visibly deflate when he mentioned being there in 15 minutes. Kate pushed her hand through her hair pulling it away from her face. Taking a deep breath, she pushed her chair away from the table and started to rise before speaking. "Well Rick, it sounds like you have to go.. I guess that's my cue also. It was really nice seeing you again.." She turned and started walking towards the door.

Awkwardly rising up from his chair, Rick calls out to Kate "Kate, wait, there are so many things that I wanted to talk to you about. Do you have any plans for the next day or so?"

Kate stopped and turned to face Castle. She wasn't sure if continuing their conversation was a good idea. Given their history, there was a better chance that all they would do is re-open all of the old wounds that haven't healed even after 10 years. But deep down she knew this may be her last chance to reach some level of closure...

"I've got a flight back to DC Sunday. I have a meeting first thing Monday morning with my boss about this investigation." She replied.

"That's great. We've got a couple of days then. Where are you staying?" Rick flashed a genuine smile.

"The airport Hilton. Why?" Kate inquired.

"We can swing by there, you grab some clothes and you can stay at Casa Castle until you have to leave." Rick was now grinning like he solved a mystery now.

Every fiber of Kate's being told her that this was a bad idea. But then she thought back to the last time she had turned down Rick's offer to spend time with him and how it lead to all of this. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea Rick." She replied. "I need to get my report ready before I fly back to DC."

"No funny business special agent Beck – I mean Davidson. This might be my last chance to talk to you. Scout's honor." Rick holds up 3 fingers like a boy scout.

Kate has to smile at this gesture. "Yeah, but we both know that you were never a boy scout."

"You remembered. Come on. It'll be fun. I promise." Castle was turning on all of his charm now. For the life of him he didn't know why he was trying so hard. He had loved her from afar for 2 years while she rejected his every advance. 'Maybe it's better not to know.' he thought to himself.

"I'm sorry Rick." Kate says as she continues walking out the door, Rick following one step behind her, just like the old days.

Standing in front of the coffee shop, Rick extends his hand to Kate, his lips pressed together in a straight line. "I'm glad I got to see you again. I only wish that we had more time." Gently shaking her hand, he turned so that she couldn't see his face. "Duty calls. You have a wonderful life Kate." He starts walking back towards the bookstore.

He's about 20 feet away when Kate calls out. "Rick, wait." He stops and she walks up to him. Reaching into her purse, she pulls out one of her business cards and hands it to him. "My personal cell phone number is here." pointing at the card.

Rick reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. Pulling his sharpie from his pocket, he scribbles his phone number and hands it to her. "If you change your mind Kate, call me anytime." He offers up a sad smile. "Gotta go now." He turns and starts to jog back to the bookstore.

Kate watches as he runs away and then looks at the paper. She folds it in half and places it into her purse. Turning the opposite direction she walks to her car chastising herself for turning down Rick's offer.

Chapter 2 – A Date?

Rick found his thoughts drifting to another time, another life it seemed the entire drive home. It took almost an hour just get out of the city. Once he made it to the PCH, he relaxed a bit. In the passenger seat Wendy appeared lost looking at her tablet, reading some message from one of her friends he guessed. Sitting in his booster seat in back, little Alex was focused on the toy airplane in his hand oblivious to the world whizzing by the car window. It was a beautiful early June evening. Rick had considered stopping to put the top down, but decided against it. They had been in the car for nearly 2 hours now and there had hardly been a word spoken by anyone during the entire time. It was little Alex who broke the silence. "Daddy, who was the pretty lady you were talking to?"

Rick was surprised by his question. 'Pretty' he thought to himself, 'I wonder where that came from?' He had never used pretty as an adjective to describe Kate. Fierce, driven, frustrating, maddening, and maybe even beautiful, those were the adjectives that he would use. He smiled and said to the boy "she's an old friend of daddy's." Wendy looks up from what she was doing to shoot him a sideways glance at his choice of the word 'friend'.

Alex pondered his answer for a minute then returned his attention to his toy. Looking back towards his father he then asks "Daddy, did she know mommy?"

Rick swallowed hard searching for the right thing to say to the boy. "No son, she didn't know your mommy." Alex returned his attention to his toy without another word. By the time they reached the exit on the highway Alex was soundly asleep. It was nearly dark now and as he was driving into the sunset trying to beat it home. Passing through the entrance gates, he pulled the car up the driveway and parked in front of the garage. Looking across the front seats he smiled and thanked Wendy for all of her help. She smiled back and told him to call her if he needed anything, then exited the car. Castle opened the passenger door and pulled the seat forward so he could unfasten the boy's seat belt. Gently, he eased him from the booster seat and into his arms. Using his hip to close the car door, he stood and watched Wendy drive away. Fishing his keys from his jacket pocket he unlocked the door and made his way to the keypad to reset the alarm.

Walking through the silent house, he made his way to Alex's bedroom. He gently laid him down on the bed and then removed his shoes. Rather than wake him up to put on his pajamas, Rick pulled the covers over his sleeping body, tucking them around his neck. Normally, the nightly routine was a bath followed by a prayer to his mommy. Richard Castle was never a religious man, but he was glad that his son had found a way to talk to the mother that he would never see. He bent over, kissed his forehead, and whispered "Good night little man. I love you."

Walking to the door, he turned off the light and made his way to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle from the shelf. He walked to the den, then plopped down into the leather sofa. Cracking open the water bottle and takes a large swig. He smiles as he thinks about how much his nightly routine has changed over the years – three fingers of scotch were as good as a sleeping pill in those days. Now he only drinks with meals and never alone which means hardly ever now.

He understands completely how someone like Jim Beckett could become lost in a bottle after losing someone you love. Thank god for Alexis, Martha, and Alex – As much as he wanted to fade away from the world, Martha and Alexis wouldn't let him. They made sure that he knew that he was loved and that he had a son that needed a father. There were always good days and bad days and he wasn't sure about today's events.

Glancing at his phone he noticed that it was nearly 10:00 pm. 'Would Kate call?' 'Should I call her?' 'What if it's too late for words?' 'Maybe I can text her. That way she can't reject my call or have to talk to me if she doesn't want to.' Rick prepared his text message and pressed the send button. A few minutes later he received his answer..

Sitting on her bed, Kate rubs her eyes trying to focus on her laptop screen. She'd stared at the screen for the last half hour unable to compose her thoughts for the report. Her mind continued to drift back to Rick's writing in her book:

To Just Kate,

A wise man once said "If you love something, set it free – If it doesn't come back then it was never meant to be, but if it does, then it's yours forever." You will forever be extraordinary.

Always,

Rick

She was confused by the writing – did he believe that he had set her free? Did he think that their meeting however serendipitous it was, meant anything other than a chance encounter between two old 'friends'? 'They were friends weren't they?' She thought that they once were, but that was a long time ago. So many things had happened to both of them. They weren't the same people they were when they first met, but then again they weren't the same people that they were when he walked out of the 12th precinct and her life either..

She pulled the paper from her purse, opened it to look at the number and debated with herself about calling him. Part of her said that he had her number also – if he really wanted to talk to her, he could call. She then remembered that she was the one who turned down his offer to come to his place and continue their talk. She remembered the look on his face when he gazed at his son. Rick was right, he may not be the best at a lot of things, but being a father would always be his top priority. She looked at her father's watch on her wrist – it was nearly 10:00 pm now. Rick should be home by now. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she starts to dial his number, but stops short of hitting the send button, questioning if this was the smart thing to do.

Just as she was ready to press the cancel button, her phone starts to vibrate to signal an incoming text message. Glancing at the text, a small smile appears as she reads: Just put the little man down for the night. Ok if I call? Without hesitation, she types 'yes' and hits the send button.

Rick wasn't sure what exactly he wanted to talk to Kate about, but he was sure there were too many things left unsaid – too many questions unasked and unanswered. Steeling his resolve, he dials her number and presses the send key. After the second ring, Kate answers "Hey, Castle."

"Hey yourself." He replies. "how goes it with your report? I figured you'd be done by now."

"Not well. Still working on my summary." Kate states flatly.

"Anything that I can do to help?"

Kate chuckles at the offer. "Now you want to help with paperwork? I seem to remember that you would do anything humanly possible to avoid doing paperwork."

"Guilty as charged. But now I have incentive to help you get done."

"What's that Castle?"

"If your report's done then you won't have an excuse to not come out to my place." She can feel Castle's smug smile through the phone.

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." Kate replies dejectedly.

"Why not? Afraid that you won't be able to keep your hands off of me?" Castle jokes, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Something like that." she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

Stunned again by Kate's remark, Rick's mind races for a topic to discuss that will not be too personal. "Do you ever talk to any of the gang at the 12th? How about Lanie?"

Kate was relieved that Castle had let her off of the hook for her comment. She paused and proceeded to tell him what she knew about the old gang. "Well, where do I begin? Ryan's a captain at the 24th precinct, he's married and has two kids, a boy and girl. Espo was engaged to Lanie for a while, but she got cold feet and called it off. He finally got married to one of the tech girls that work at the 12th. Espo took my place as lead detective when I left for the AG job." Her voice trailed off ask spoke about leaving the NYPD.

Not wanting to have to conversation turn dark, Castle asked about Lanie. "So are you and Lanie still close?" Kate was silent for a few seconds. 'Maybe this wasn't a good idea' he thought.

"Lanie's husband was my ex's best friend. I introduced them to each other. When things fell apart with him, she kind of chose sides. I don't blame her. We still exchange Christmas cards, but that's about all now."

The sadness in Kate's voice was palpable. Not sure how to bring the conversation back, Rick decided to change the topic completely. "You know Kate, I believe you have an secret admirer."

Kate seemed intrigued. "Oh yeah? Who would that be?" She inquired.

"Oh, he's turning into quite the lady's man. A chip off of the old block, if I do say so myself."

Kate smiled. "And just what makes you think that Mr. Castle?"

"When I was driving home, he asked me about the pretty lady that I was talking to."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that you and I were old friends."

"Are we.. are we friends Rick?"

"I'd like to be." Rick replied.

"I'd like that too." Kate sighed.

They spent another hour talking about their time together at the 12th and some of the cases that they worked on. Both were careful not to mention any of the time that Kate was with Deming or Rick's departure. Rick never asked about her ex and she never asked about his wife. Rick had started to say something about his house when his low battery warning appeared on his phone. They had talked for nearly 2 hours without an argument – a record for them. Sensing that it was now or never, he decided that it was time for one last pitch. "So what do you say Kate, can you come down here and spend the day? You'd make one 5 year old very happy if you did."

Kate laughed at his comment. "You really have no shame, do you Castle? Using your son to guilt me into coming to your place for the weekend, that's pretty weak don't you think?"

"It's only weak if it doesn't work. Come on Kate, what have you got to loose?" Rick chuckled as he spoke.

Kate thought back to Rick's offer for her to spend the weekend at his house in the Hampton's and how disastrous that turned out for her. Taking a deep breath, she laid out the conditions - "If I say yes, here are a few ground rules. If I come down there, I want to be able to leave at anytime with no hard feelings. Ok? If either of us doesn't want to discuss a subject, then the other will back off immediately if told. Ok?"

Rick wasn't sure if he liked with the conditions, but knew that this was the only way she would agree to come down. "You drive a hard bargain, Kate. You have GPS on your phone right? I'll send you the address as soon as we get off of the phone. Just give me a call when you get to Monterey and I'll make sure that I can let you in the gate. Ok?" Rick was nearly rambling now.

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Castle." Kate replies.

"Until tomorrow then. Sweet dreams Kate." Rick smiles and presses the end button on his iPhone.

Kate sat on the edge of her bed looking at the phone. Rick still had the ability to make her feel like she was the most important person in the world. She had to smile when she thought about how comfortable she felt talking with Castle after all of these years. There were brief moments when it seemed like they were together at the 12th again.

She wondered why she ran him off like she did – sure she knew that technically it was Castle that left her, but deep down Kate knew that she and Deming treated him horribly. Tom, for the things that he actually said to Rick and her for not defending Castle to him. If she was honest with herself, she knew that Deming was a bad idea from the beginning. Tom was a nice enough guy, but he wasn't what she was looking for. She was afraid of the feelings that she was starting to develop for her 'partner'. Afraid that her first impression of Rick was correct, that she would be nothing more than another notch in his bedpost. Kate saw it as a chance to make Rick jealous and to get even with him for his dalliance with that skank movie starlet Ellie Monroe. She enjoyed seeing Castle suffer a little too much and the whole thing backfired on her when he walked away from her life in the arm of his ex-wife.

Kate snapped back from her thoughts as her phone vibrated signaling a new text message with the address for his house. She saved the message and plugged her phone into the charger on the nightstand. It was well past midnight already so she decided to shower now and she could sleep a few minutes more in the morning. Feeling better after the shower, she slipped on an oversized tee shirt and crawled into the bed.

Chapter 3: Pacific Grove

Kate was awakened by the slivers of light streaming through the drapes in her room. Squinting, she staggered from her bed and made her way to the bathroom while trying to get her eyes to adjust. Taking her time, she brushed her teeth and set about trying to do something with her hair. She finally decides to gather it into a short pony tail – this wasn't supposed to be a date anyway? She applied a minimal amount of makeup – enough to help hide the dark circles under her eyes and the crows feet that were starting to form, but not enough to look made up. She walked back to her room and searched for something appropriate to wear. As this was a working trip, she brought very few casual outfits to wear. Her suit was her uniform and she liked them, but she also missed the days when she could wear jeans to work. She pulled the single pair of jeans that she brought with her and a light sweater. Remembering her days at Stanford, she made sure that she brought a light jacket on the trip. While it may be June, it's cool enough to wear a jacket when you're near the ocean.

Slipping on a pair of sneakers, she reaches across the bed and pulls her cell phone from the charger on the nightstand. Kate checks to see if there were any new text messages or missed calls. She then checks her email to see if there was anything that needed to be taken care of for her job – there was none. It was Saturday after all. She decides to not bring a change of clothes as this will provide her with an excuse to leave Rick's home if necessary. Satisfied that she had everything that she needed, Kate picks up her purse for her car keys, her badge, and her pistol. Grabbing her father's watch from the nightstand, she attaches on her wrist and slips her mothers necklace over her head. She was ready to go now.

Kate takes the stairs to the lobby and immediately walks to the complimentary coffee cart. Grabbing a styrofoam cup, she pumps the coffee dispenser while searching for the cream and lid. Finishing her preparation, she exited the hotel and made her way to the rental car. Once in the car, she pulled her phone from her purse and open the saved text Rick sent. Using the GPS feature, she pasted the address and the phone prepared detailed driving directions. Exiting the parking lot she made her way to the freeway entrance. For 9:00 am on a Saturday, the 101 had a fair amount of traffic. Luckily, most of the traffic was heading north into the city. Following the GPS instructions, she drove south on 101 towards route 52 which dead ends into highway 1. It was a beautiful sunny June morning. She forgot just how blue the sky could be. Living in New York the majority of her life, you get used to seeing different shades of grey skies and assuming this is blue.

The GPS signaled that she was approaching her exit from the Pacific Coast Highway. Turning off at the exit, she pulled over so she could send a text message to let Rick know that she had made it to Monterey. Returning to the GPS app, she started driving again, going past Fisherman's Wharf and the Mariana. A couple of minutes later , a text appeared from Castle saying that he would meet her at the gate. Following the directions she drove through the main street for the town of Pacific Grove which ran along the coast.

She pulled into the driveway and saw the silhouette of Rick and his son bathed by the morning sun. Rick waved as she approached and punched some numbers into the keypad. The gate swung open and the two started walking towards the house at the top of the hill. Rick gestured with his hand pointing to where she could park. Kate parked, and exited the car to face a smiling Rick, his son holding his leg tightly hiding behind him. Rick closed the distance between the two of them and proceeded to give her a warm hug. Rick was never the 'touchy-feely' type with her. Kate was surprised by the gesture. "Kate, I'm so glad you could make it." Rick smiled, with his usual lopsided grin as he released her from the hug and stepped back as if to take a good look at her for the first time.

Kate was as beautiful as she ever was – her hair was shorter, but she was still fit and still knew how to wear a pair of jeans Rick thought. She may have been approaching 40, but Kate looked much younger until you looked into her eyes. There was a sadness there that bright sunshine couldn't mask – a world weariness that spoke of opportunities missed and things lost. Not waiting for a response from Kate, Rick pressed on. "Well you picked a beautiful day to come up. There's someone here that I'd like you to meet." as he gestured towards his son still clutching his thigh.

She bent down in an attempt to look him in the eye. "Hi there. I'm Kate Davidson. I'm an old friend of your fathers. What's your name?"

The boy looked her in the eye, unsure of what to do. He looked up at Rick, who looked at him and smiled. Releasing Rick's leg, he walked to Kate with his hand extended for her to shake. She extended her arm and gently touched his hand. "Hi, my name is Richard Alexander Castle. It's nice to meet you." Releasing her hand he returned to his hiding position behind Rick's leg. He looked up at his father and asked "Did I do good daddy?"

Rick looked down at the boy with such pride and love. "Yes, little man, you did great. I'm proud of you." He ran his hand through the boys hair which reminded Kate of how Rick's was a decade ago. "So Kate, we were debating about pancakes, would you like to have some?" He pointed back and forth to the boy and himself as he spoke.

Kate chuckled. "Isn't it a little late for pancakes?"

Alex stepped from behind his father, a serious look on his face. "Daddy says there's never a bad time for pancakes." Rick can't help but laugh at his comment.

Kate smiles and looks directly into the boys beautiful chocolate brown eyes. "I forgot how much your daddy loved pancakes. Sure, I'd love to have pancakes with you Alex. And please call me Kate."

Alex looks at her and flashes a smile that reminds her so much of Rick. "Great! Let's go make some pancakes Kate!" He releases Rick's leg and starts to run to the house.

Rick turns and faces Kate with a sincere smile. "A chip off of the old block, isn't he?"

Kate rolls her eyes and states in mock indignation "Just what the world needs, another Ricky Castle."

Rick's grinning from ear to ear now. "I know, Right? He's much better than I was at the same age. I'm not sure there's much more that I can teach him."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something." Kate snickers as she looks at the house and property. "Nice place Castle, I guess being a writer pays pretty well?"

"Well, I'm not Patterson rich, but I get by.." He paused for a second. "What do you think about the view?"

"It's spectacular." Kate replies. "How long have you lived here?"

"Seven years. I bought it as a wedding present. Riv-" He stopped himself from saying her name sadness washing over his face. "She loved the view." Wanting to change the subject, Rick looks back to Kate and motions towards the door. "We better get in there quick. Alex may start trying to make the pancakes himself."

Kate knew about his wife. She could read and had followed his career since he left her and the 12th all those years ago. She watched as he put on his happy face again and followed him into the house. As they entered, she looked around her – it reminded her of the loft, but in a different way. It was warm and inviting, but she could see there were other touches that indicated a woman's presence. Rick sensing her looking around stops and takes her hand to get her attention. "Pancakes first Kate. Then the tour. Ok?"

Kate smiles as he releases her hand. "Ok, Castle." as she follows him into the kitchen. It was huge – almost as large as her entire apartment in DC. It was warm and homey like the rest of the house. Alex sat at the breakfast bar, his feet dangling from the stool waiting for Rick to arrive. Wordlessly he goes to the cabinet and starts to gather ingredients, placing them on the counter. This was followed by a trip to the huge sub-zero refrigerator for the eggs, milk and other 'secret' ingredients required.

Rick is a whirling dervish of activity when he stops and smacks his forehead. "How rude of me. I forgot to offer you some coffee. Would you like some? I think I have all of the ingredients needed to make it the way you like it."

Kate smiles. "Thanks Castle, but a regular coffee is fine."

"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I have everything needed to make it."

"That's ok Castle, regular coffee is fine."

Alex sits quietly watching the exchange between the two, a puzzled look on his face. "Daddy, why does Kate call you Castle – I thought your friends called you Rick?"

Rick pauses for a few seconds trying to compose his response. "My friends used to call me Castle when I worked with the police."

Alex's expression perked. "Were you a policeman daddy?" Excitement in his voice.

Rick smiled at his question. "No, no I wasn't a policeman, but I used to work with them. Kate," as he gestures to her, "she was a detective, one of the best. I used to follow her around.." His voice trailing off as he spoke. Kate blushes at his compliment.

"Did you catch any bad guys daddy?" Alex asks.

"Me? no. not really." He replies.

Kate sees the disappointed look on Alex's face. "No, Alex. Your daddy's being modest. He helped me catch a lot of bad guys." She pauses. "Some of them I wouldn't have been able to catch without your father's help."

"Really?" Alex asks beaming.

"Really. Your daddy was the best partner that I ever had." Kate's realization that this was the truth made it that much harder to admit. She looked at Castle's sad face. He looked at her and feigned a smile while mouthing a silent 'thank you' to her. She desperately wanted to change the subject so she went to a safe topic. "How's Alexis and Martha doing?"

The next hour was spent in pleasant conversation about Alexis and Martha as he continued with his pancakes. Kate sat and sipped her coffee, occasionally laughing at either his stories or his animated movements as he told the stories. Rick still had the ability to weave a great tale and make anyone who listened feel like they were the most important person in the room. She learned that Alexis was in her final year of residency at a hospital in Columbus, Ohio after finishing medical school at UCLA. She was engaged to a fellow resident who was going to be a neurosurgeon. He proudly showed her a recent picture from his cellphone. She had become a beautiful woman. Martha was still in New York living in Rick's loft. She ran an acting school that she purchased after her 'fiance' died suddenly and left her a million dollars. Rick was pleased that Martha was happy doing the thing she loved.

Alex had finished his food and was growing bored listening to them talk. He asked if he could be excused and Rick said yes. Alex ran off to his room as soon as he was excused. Kate could only chuckle at his actions as they were so like Rick's. Rick gathered up the dishes and placed them in the sink as he turned the faucet. Rising from her stool she walked around the counter. "Here, let me help." she said.

"I'll wash and you dry – ok?" Rick opened a drawer and tosses a dishtowel to her.

"Deal." Kate replied and stood beside him at the sink. They made small talk about nothing in particular as they worked. Kate was surprised how comfortable she felt standing here beside Rick in such a domestic setting. She never did something as simple as washing dishes with Josh. His time was too valuable to spend any doing something so mundane. When he wan't on call, he was planning his next trip to some third world country. There was no time for trivial things. She was lost in her thoughts when Castle's voice snapped her back to reality. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" she sheepishly inquired.

"I was just asking if you wanted to take the fifty cent tour of the place."

"Sure, lead on Castle." she replied.

"Well you've just seen the kitchen." Castle gestures to the room as they walk down a hall. It was at least 60 feet long with doors on either side. The first door he opened lead to a guest suite. A beautiful room with bed sofa, TV and private bathroom. "This is the guest suite. You can stay here if you decide to spend the night.. It's at least as nice as any room at the Hilton."

"Rick, I'm not sure about this." Kate replies.

"Just think about it. You've got plenty of time.." Rick continues with the tour pointing out the rooms reserved for both Martha and Alexis when they come to visit. He approaches the door and knocks before entering. "Alex? Are you ok?"

The boy looks up from his desk where he was once again coloring in a book. This was any boy's dream room – a race car bed, superhero posters and action figures everywhere. Surprisingly, only a small television sat on the stand, along with a few DVD's – no game consoles or games anywhere. "I'm fine dad." was his only response as he returned to his book.

"That's quite a room. Every little boys dream." Kate states enthusiastically.

"I know, right?" Castle is grinning like a 5 year old himself.

"I'm surprised that there aren't any video games or systems in his room."

"That's because they're all in here.." Rick opens to door to the 'man cave' and Kate laughs out loud. The room had to be 30 feet long and 20 feet wide. Half of it looked like an arcade filled with every type of game you could imagine. A bookcase along one wall was filled with what had to be hundreds of video games. Different types of game chairs surround a huge flat screen TV. The other half of the room was a combination poolroom and bar. Rick pointed at the bar and some of the decorations. "I brought all of that with me from New York. They sold the bar I wrote my first novel in and I snagged up whatever I could." Kate saw the sign behind the bar.

"The Old Haunt. I never heard of it." Kate replies. "What happened to it?"

"It became a TJ McChucklenuts." the disdain dripping in his voice.

"That's too bad." Kate tries to empathize. "It's nice that someone like you cared enough to save what you could from it."

"The irony is I have this beautiful bar, full of memories and I don't drink anymore, or at least alone."

"You don't.. What happened?" Kate asks.

"What can I say, shit happens." Rick lowers his head and turns to leave the room. Kate follows him out and back down the hall to the kitchen. They turn and walk past the dining room to the great room. The 20 foot ceiling gives the room a cavernous feel. A beautiful stone fireplace sits between the walls of glass that face the ocean on either side. The room is filled with large overstuffed furniture. Rick gestures towards one of the chairs for her to sit. A sofa table sits behind Rick, filled with pictures. Some of them she recognizes as Alexis and Martha. One catches her attention – it was a photo that Espo had taken of her and Rick sitting at her desk. She was facing him as he sat in the chair beside her. They both appeared to be lost in the others gaze. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

She saw the other pictures on the table. One was a wedding photo – the bride and Rick looked so happy. She was a beautiful woman – not as tall as Kate, with dark brown hair and chocolate eyes like Alex. She looked so small standing beside Rick in the picture. The last picture was of Rick and his wife holding what had to be little Alex in her arms. She looked so frail. The look in Rick's eyes towards her in the picture conveyed so much love and pain simultaneously. Rick sensing the picture she was looking at quietly states. "That picture was taken a month before she died." Castle tried to regain some composure before continuing. "She was six months pregnant for Alex when they discovered the cancer. The option to abort and take chemotherapy never entered her mind.. They didn't think that she'd survive childbirth.. But she was so brave, so strong." Rick's whole body was trembling, trying to fight back tears.

Kate fought the urge to reach across the sofa and hug him. "She was very beautiful. I'm so sorry Rick." she said fighting back tears.

Rick's eyes were swollen and red fighting back his own tears. "I know exactly how Larry Darrow felt in the novel The Razor's Edge. I thought that River was my reward for trying to be a good man." He paused and wiped a single tear from his eye. "She was a dancer, a free spirit. She believe in the magic of the impossible. She loved me with all of my faults and never tried to change me. She," He stopped as he heard Alex walk into the room.

"Daddy, are we going to the park today?" Alex inquires.

Rick turns he head away so the boy cannot see him, as he takes a deep breath and puts on his best happy face. "Sure thing little man, but don't you think we should ask our guest first?"

"Right.. Kate, would you like to go to the park with daddy and I?" Alex asks while giving her the famous Castle puppy dog eyes.

Kate was grateful for the opportunity to end this conversation. Bending down to look the boy in the eye she smiled and said "That sounds like fun. Let's go!" Turning back to Rick she extends her hand to pull him up. "You coming Castle?" was all she said.

Chapter 4: The Park

The trip to the park was quiet and uneventful. Alex made a beeline to the playground as soon as Rick removed him from the booster seat. Kate and Rick followed behind silence extended through their walk. They walked to the swings and sat side by side. Rick decided to dive right in "So, married huh?"

"Yes, yes I was married." She emphasized the word 'was' as she looked down at her hands. "I made a mistake. He wasn't the right guy.."

Rick reached across the swings and took her hand. "Look, you don't have to talk about it. It's none of my business anyway." He said in a calming voice.

Kate shook her head. "No, I need to talk about it. I need to clear the air." She took a deep breath and continued "It was the fall after you left. I had broken up with Deming and was feeling pretty low. Lanie talked me into going with her to a hospital charity event. I met Josh that night – he was good looking, a cardiologist, and loved motorcycles. We started dating. It was easy – Josh had so much going on all of the time we had very little time together to worry about real relationship problems. I was so busy with the job that I didn't care if he was gone most of the time. After I was shot, I started to question my entire life. Josh was there and we decided to get married. I think I felt I owed him for taking care of me.. For a while it was ok. It was enough – Josh put no pressure on me and I didn't care to know anymore about him. This continued for nearly two years until I got the offer for the AG job."

Rick was stunned by her openness regarding her failed marriage. 'When did she break up with Deming and why?' he thought to himself. He knew all about her shooting. He tried to see her when she was in the hospital, but was told by Josh that she didn't want to see him. Rick made every effort to give her his undivided attention while continuing to sneak peaks at his son on the playground.

She paused and continued. "I thought that I wanted the job. A chance to serve a greater good you know?" Castle nodded his head. "I also saw an opportunity to finally put away the man behind my mother's murder. Remember when Senator Bracken was taken down in the corruption scandal 3 years ago?"

Castle nodded and said "Yes, That made network news. That was you?"

"Yeah, I worked on it for almost 4 years in my spare time putting a case together against him." Kate replied.

"You did it alone?" Castle asked.

"Yes, the first thing I learned working for the AG was that if you're on the right side of the political fence, they are more than willing to look the other way. Besides, all of the evidence that I had was circumstantial. I was spinning my wheels getting nowhere fast."

"What changed?"

"New AG. New president. New party in power. Suddenly the circumstantial evidence that I had been sitting on was enough to justify a full fledged investigation by the AG. It didn't take long to connect the dots. The funny thing was I finally watched the man who was responsible for my mother's murder put in prison for the rest of his life and all I felt was.. empty. I dedicated half of my life to solving my mother's murder and lost out on life. I knew that taking the job would be the end of my marriage, but I didn't care. I was so focused on my mother's case.." There was so much despair in her voice. Before she could continue, Castle's cell phone rang.

Rick pulled the phone from his windbreaker and checked the caller ID before answering. "Hi mom, how are you doing today? Yes, I'm at the park with Alex. Would you like to talk to him?" Rick excuses himself and walks to the playground. Kate hears him call to the boy. "Alex, your grandma wants to talk to you.."

Alex looks up from the teeter-totter that he had been sharing with another boy and jumps off leaving the other bouncing off of the ground. He runs to Rick shouting "Let me talk to Gramma!." Taking the phone from Rick's hands he walks with him back to the swings. "Hi Gramma... Yes, I've been a good boy.. I don't know, but I'll ask daddy.." Alex pauses and turns to face Castle. "Daddy, Gramma wants to know if we can come over to her house. They're having a barbecue outside and all – it will be fun."

It only took Kate a few seconds to realize that Rick was not talking to Martha. Rick never called her mom – always mother. This must have been his wife's mother. It sounded like they were close.

"Gee, I don't know little man. Kate is here for only a little while and I'd really like to talk to her some more.." Rick takes the phone from Alex's hand and begins to speak "Hey mom. Is it ok if I bring someone? Yes, an old friend of mine from when I lived in New York.. Let me ask her.. I'll call you back if I can't make it – ok? Bye mom." Rick ends the call and turns to face Kate. "How about it Kate, would you like to go to a barbecue with my son and I? It'll be fun. And I promise no funny business.. Please?" He gave her his best innocent look. She almost saw the old sparkle in his eye.

This was all kinds of awkward. She looked at her watch and noticed that it was already 4:00 pm. She needed to come up with some excuse to leave. She questioned herself as to why meeting Rick's wife's parents would feel so awkward – it wasn't like they had dated. Hell, they never even kissed really. In their two years together, the closest they ever came to a date was a sting to catch a killer that had targeted wealthy socialites. Nothing had ever happened between them. She had made a point of keeping him an arm's length away. Whatever 'feelings' that she may or may not have had for Rick were never acted on. So why did Castle's request make her feel so uncomfortable? She looked out across the park, avoiding eye contact with both Rick and Alex. "I.. I don't think that it would be a good idea.. It's getting late and I really need to get back to San Francisco.." Kate starts to stand, wiping her palms on the front of her jeans.

Rick sees the panic on her face and calmly states "Kate, I'd really like you to meet them. They're good people. You can stay here tonight. You've seen the guest suite already. Come on, what ya say? Please?" Rick looks over to Alex who chimes in also.

Kate sensing that she's loosing the fight, tries one last excuse. "But, I don't have anything to wear.."

Rick looks at her and smiles "You're dressed fine for this. In fact, you look great. But then again, you always did.. It's casual attire. I'm going like this." He gestures with both hands moving down his body as if modeling his outfit.

Kate looked at him and stifled a laugh at his gesture. His wardrobe had certainly changed with his move to California. Instead of tailored dress shirts and sport coats, he looked just as at ease with a pair of knee length kaki shorts, loose fitting polo shirt, windbreaker jacket and deck shoes with no socks. Rick called it his Monterey wardrobe. "Ok, Ok. I give up. How could I refuse the request from such a handsome young man.."

"Why thank you Kate.. So you think I'm handsome?" Rick asks with a grin.

"I was talking about Alex." Kate says dryly, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"I know." Rick chuckles "I'm the ruggedly handsome one around here.. Let's go to a barbecue then, shall we? I need to stop at the house first so Alex can change out of these play clothes and you can freshen up ok?" Rick extends his arm to Kate and she places her arm through his. Alex stayed one step behind watching the two of them together, saying nothing.

Kate walked in silence arm in arm with Castle and thought to herself 'yes, yes he's still ruggedly handsome.'

Chapter 5: Carmel

Kate, Rick, and Alex returned home to change the boys clothes. Rick took Kate to her room so she could freshen up before they left. The bathroom was appointed with any type of toiletry she may have needed. She washed up, touched up her makeup and debated with herself about going with Rick to meet his dead wife's family. For a moment she let her mind wander thinking that this could have been her life if she would have made a few different choices. A light knock on her door snapped her back to reality. Opening her door she saw little Alex standing there all washed and in an outfit that looked exactly like Ricks.

"Kate?" Alex inquired nervously scuffing his shoe along the carpet. "Daddy says that it's time to go... He told me to escort you to the car. Is that ok?"

Kate looked down at him and smiled "Sure, I'd be honored to be escorted by such a handsome young man." Alex blushed and flashed a smile that left no doubt that this was Rick's son. She took his hand and he lead her through the house and out to the car. Rick went back inside the house for a couple of seconds to activate the alarm and closed the door.

He lifted Alex into the booster seat and fastened the restraints. Kate couldn't help but admire his car. The gunmetal grey BMW M6 convertible just seemed to suit him. "Nice car Castle" She said. "Whatever happened to the Ferrari?"

"Oh I sold it when I left New York. I never really liked it, but Paula said that it was good for my image to be seen driving around town in it. The truth be told, Ryan and Esposito probably put more miles on it than I did."

"So if this the only car you own?" Kate inquired.

"Lord no!" Castle exclaimed "This one's my daily driver. I've got a couple of Porsches and a 68 Mustang GT350 just like the one in the movie Bullet. Tomorrow, I'll show them to you.. Maybe let you drive them.. If you'd like."

Kate smiled and said "I'd Like that." as Rick drove down the driveway and onto the road. They passed through the gates that lead to 17 mile drive, the private road that ran from Pacific Grove to Carmel. The road wound along the ocean past some truly spectacular homes. Kate looked took it all in – the wind whipping through her hair cruising in a beautiful car with a ruggedly handsome driver. Rick pointed out items of interest as they drove.

"I suppose that I should give you a little background information on my in-laws." Rick paused before continuing. "Bob is one of the most successful producers in Hollywood and Mary was an actress. She gave up her career to marry Bob and raise a family. They are good people and will always put family first. I think that's why I like them so much. They were there for me when I needed them and Alex couldn't ask for better grandparents."

Kate could only nod in agreement as if she understood. Rick checked the rear view mirror to check on Alex as he was playing with one of the toys he kept permanently in the back seat. "Almost there." Rick states as he turns off of the road and onto a dark drive surrounded by trees. About 1,000 feet from the road they came to the gate. Rick punched in the code and the gate slowly opened. The drive continued its ascent another 1,000 feet when she first caught a glimpse of the house. House wasn't the proper term, even mansion is an understatement, castle would be the proper description. It looked like a castle. As he pulled into the parking area, Kate was still in awe of the estate. Rick exited the car and ran around to open the door for Kate. She thanked him and he unfastened Alex from the booster seat and lifted him out of the car. As soon as his feet touched the ground he was off running to the door.

"Geez Rick, I thought you were rich.. How rich are they?" Kate exclaimed mouth agape.

Rick had to laugh at her expression. "Well, he's not Lucas or Spielberg rich, but he's doing pretty good. Bob produced 2 of the top 10 grossing movies last year alone."

They walked together in silence as they approached the main entrance. Alex was already at the door waiting for someone to let him in. The door swung open and Mary looked down at her grandson with a huge smile." Alex dove for her locking his arms around her waist. "Gramma! I'm so happy to see you!" he exclaims.

"Grandma is happy to see you too little man." She gently stroked his head. Looking up she sees Rick and Kate approaching the door. "Ricky, I'm so glad you could make it." Rick hugs her and smiles back. "And who is your friend?" Mary inquires.

Rick smiles and turns to Kate. "Mom, this is Special Agent Katherine Beck- I mean Davidson. She works for the Attorney General. She was the inspiration for the character Nikki Heat."

Kate extends her hand to the woman and says "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Mary shakes her hand wile giving her an appraising look. "It's nice to meet you too." She then turns to Rick and says "You know Rick, she is actually prettier than you described her in your books." Kate blushes at her comment and is ushered in by the woman. "Rick, Bob's out on the patio. I'll give Kate a quick tour and meet you out there." Mary takes Kate by the arm and leads her off into the house. Alex runs ahead of Rick towards the patio.

"Granpa Bob!" Alex cries out as he runs for the man wrapping his arms around the man's thigh. The man looks up to see Rick walking onto the patio.

"Rick, I'm glad you could make it. Mary told me that you had company and may not be able to.. She said she was an old friend of yours.." Alex releases his grip from his grandfather's leg and heads back into the house.

"Yeah," Rick replies. "She used to be a NYPD detective. She was my inspiration for the character Nikki Heat. This is the first time that I've seen her in ten years."

Bob smiles and returns to his duties with the grill. "Can I offer you something to drink? A beer? Sparkling water?"

Rick pauses for a second. "You know, a beer sounds like a good idea. You know I only drink when I'm over here.."

"Still don't trust yourself Rick?" Bob inquires.

"Not really. I feel better around people that care about me.." Rick replied. Bob reached into the refrigerator by the grill, pulled out a beer and tossed it to Rick. Bob and Rick stood there and talked for another 20 minutes before Mary returned with Kate. She had a glass of wine in her hand and appeared to have survived her time alone with Mary. Rick introduced Kate to Bob and the four of them stood there as he continued to cook the food. There was a loud squeal that came from the house moving towards them on the patio.

"Ricky!" the long legged blonde cried out as she launched herself into Rick's arms. "I'm so glad you're here!" she squealed again and kissed his cheek. Kate recognized the woman. Anyone who watched TV, read a magazine, or went to the movies knew who Lake Winterboure was. Kate had seen the photos from her latest movie premiere arm in arm with none other than Richard Castle. The tabloids hinted that the widower and the actress were more than friends. Kate couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. 'Did Rick drag me here here to show off his movie star girlfriend?' she questioned. Rick kisses her on the cheek as she squeals again "and where is the man of my dreams?"

Rick can only laugh at her question. "He's in the house playing, probably wondering where you are.. Before you flitter away, there's someone that I'd like you to meet.." He turns to face Kate. "Lake Winterbourne, this is Special Agent Katherine Davidson. She is an old friend and the inspiration for the character Nikki Heat."

Kate extends her hand to Lake. "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Winterbourne."

Lake smiles and shakes her hand vigorously "Wow the real Nikki Heat, in person. I always wondered what you were really like. You know I auditioned for the role when they made the first movie, but lost the part to that bitch Natalie Rhodes..."

Mary can only smile listening to her. "But you were too young for the part and they told you that.."

"But Mom! Dad was the producer. He could have cast me anyway.." Lake pouts.

It was Bob's turn to chime in. "I didn't become a successful producer by ignoring the people that I pay to do their jobs baby." He reaches over and plants a kiss on the top of her head.

It finally dawns on Kate that the world famous actress Lake Winterbourne was actually Rick's sister in-law. She relaxes a little at that knowledge. Lake turns to face Kate and says "Come on Kate, help me find my 'boyfriend'. You can give me some more dirt that I can use against Rick in the future." Rick gives her a pained expression and she has to smile. 'Could this get any more surreal?' Kate thought. Lake gestures back towards the house and Kate follows.

Lake and Kate walked side by side both nursing their glasses of wine. Lake was the first to speak. "So.. Nikki Heat. How much of it was real?"

"Well, Rick got most of the procedural stuff from NYPD regs and a few of the stories were loosely based cases we worked.."

"I figured that the Jameson Rook character was based upon Rick. How about the love scenes?" Lake inquires perfectly straight faced.

Kate could only blush at the question. "The love scenes were just a product of Castle's vivid imagination.."

"So are you and Rick still close?"

Kate shook her head sadly and looked down. "Not really. I haven't seen or spoken to him in ten years.. It's a fluke that I happened to be in San Francisco for work and found out that Rick was doing a book signing.."

They were standing outside the guestroom that served as Alex's home away from home. Lake peeked inside and saw the boy intently working with a pile of Legos. She knocked on the door jamb and called out. "Knock, knock, guess who?"

The little boy's head snaps up from his work and smiles as he cries out "Auntie Lake! I'm so glad to see you!" He jumps off of his chair and runs to her wrapping his arms around her waist in a tight hug.

"How's the man of my dreams?" She inquires as she runs her fingers through his naturally curly hair. "You've grown so much since I saw you."

"I missed you too auntie Lake. Daddy said that we were going to see you next month." She picks the boy up and he wraps his arms around her neck and his legs around her waist. Lake then plants a kiss on both of his cheeks and begins to make small talk with the boy.

"Your Grandpa said that dinner is ready. Let's get you washed up." She carried the boy in her arms back towards the patio. Kate follows her and wonders to herself just how 'close' Rick and the starlet were..

Setting the boy down he runs to the bathroom and closes the door. Lake smiles at Kate and gestures to the boy "He's so much like Rick, yet Rick swears he's exactly like my sister.. They were soul mates – Rick and River. I never believed in stuff like that until I saw the two of them together.. You know, you're the first woman that I've seen him with other than family or his publisher.. He rarely goes out in public – I had to bribe him to get him to go to my last premiere with me.. You were important to him?"

Kate is deflated at first by her 'soul mate' comment. 'How does anyone try to measure up against a memory?' she thought to herself. "Castle and I worked together for two years. He helped solve murders with me. We were partners, nothing more." She replied.

"You never dated?"

"Once we went on an undercover sting to catch a killer at a charity fundraiser." That's as close to a date as we ever got." Kate stares off towards the patio where Rick was standing – laughing and joking with his wife's parents – his dead wife's parents. The bathroom door opens and Alex rushes out to greet them, taking them by the hand to the patio.

Bob looks at the group and gestures to the counter. "Dinner is served – help yourself."

Rick calls out to Alex "Little man what do you want to eat? I'll fix you a plate.."

"Everything Granpa makes is good!" Alex hollers back to Rick. Castle simply shakes his head and starts to load his plate with a little of everything. The rest work their way around the counter loading up their plates and make their way to the table to eat. Rick serves Alex and then gets his own plate, sitting between Kate and Mary. Alex had chosen to sit between Bob and Lake.

The conversation was pleasant and interesting. Bob told stories about dealing with movie stars. Lake told tales about her adventures making her latest movie and dishing dirt on her co-stars. Rick was mostly silent not offering any stories. Kate always remembered Castle's ability to tell a story – how he could weave a tale from almost nothing trying to solve a murder. He smiled and laughed at their stories, but offered none of his own. Kate also offered little to the conversation sitting there politely listening. Alex was fidgeting, as a 5 year old can only be expected to sit quietly for so long. "Daddy, can I go play now?" Alex asked.

Rick looks at him and grins. Lake looks at the two of them and leans across the table and says to Alex "How about you and I go to your room and play?"

Alex is grinning. "Sure auntie Lake. Let's go." She takes his hand and they walk back into the house. Lake is like a big sister to Alex rather than an aunt.

Mary sensed that Rick and Kate were being left out of the conversation. Turning to Kate she asks. "So Kate, Rick tells me that he worked with you when you were a NYPD detective. Just how did that happen?" The next 30 minutes were spent with Kate telling the group how Castle wormed his way into her life. Rick occasionally jumped in with his side of the story. Everyone laughed as she told how she arrested him for stealing evidence and how he used the mayor to force his way onto her team. Kate confessed how obnoxious she thought Rick was when she first met him, but how it was all an act for the media. Rick recounted how he suckered Kate into thinking that he didn't know how to shoot so he borrow evidence to study. Everyone laughed at Rick's stories of his goof-ups as Kate's 'sidekick'. Even Kate had to laugh at a few of the stories that even she had forgotten.

Everything was going great until Bob asked "It sounds like you two were quite the team. Why'd you quit Rick?" It was an innocent enough question on its own. Both Kate and Rick's faces changed from smiles immediately.

Rick decided to answer. "It was my fault. I was just getting in the way of Kate. I was holding her back. I was having so much fun playing cop that my writing suffered. Gina literally moved in with me to force me to finish my book. It was the worst summer of my life.."

Kate sat there stunned. Espo was right. Castle left because he couldn't sit there and watch her with Deming. She remembered the look on Rick's face when Deming asked her to go away with him for the weekend after she had lied to Castle about having to work. She justified her lie to Castle by saying that she didn't want things to be 'awkward' between them. She knew that Rick had feelings for her then, but made sure nothing ever became of them. She wanted to keep Castle there waiting while she had a relationship with another man. Kate never realized just how deeply she hurt him with her actions. All she had ever focused on before was how hurt she was seeing him leave with Gina. He never knew that she had broken up with Deming, or that she had changed her mind about going with him to the Hamptons.

The others sensed the tension between Rick and Kate and tried to change the topic. Bob asked first. "So Rick, how goes it with the adaptation of 'Raising Alexis'?"

Castle snapped out of his funk and put on his happy face again. "Slowly. They want to change it into a full blown sit-com. I never thought of my life as a sit-com, but what do I know? My book was a work of non-fiction, but I can see how silly some of it seems to anyone who wasn't there.."

Kate had read the book. Kate read all of Castle's books. She was happy and sad that he finished off the Nikki Heat series by rushing out the three books needed to fulfill his contract in a little over a year. It was sad to read how Nikki had left Rook to be with another cop in the stories. It was art imitating life. The last two books seemed rushed and didn't have the magic of the first two. 'Raising Alexis' was Rick's first non-fiction book and surprisingly, his most successful. It was focused on Alexis raising an immature man-child of a father while coping with a diva grandmother and flaky mother who was never there. It was funny and sad, poignant and silly, and the critics loved it. It became Rick's best selling book and the movie was a smash hit.

"What type of deal is the studio offering you?" Bob inquired?

"Creator and Executive Producer." Rick replied. "I met with a couple of writers when I was in LA last month and discussed their interpretation of the book.. They thought that the focus of the series should be around my character instead of Alexis.. I don't know if I agree. I think that I'll write the pilot with their help and see what the studio thinks."

Bob could tell by the look on his wife's face that she was tired of hearing about 'the business' as he referred to it. Castle was also aware and decided to change the subject. "I'm sure that Kate has much better stories to tell as a Federal agent. Do you know that she singlehandedly took down Senator William Bracken?"

Bob and Mary both turned to face Kate. They were impressed. They had seen the news stories detailing how Bracken was involved in a coverup of kidnapping and extortion by a rogue group of NYPD cops, how he used the money from these activities to fund his campaigns and how he ordered the murders of several people that attempted to find out about it. She could only blush at Castle's praise of her. She explained to the couple the basic details of the case, leaving out the fact that she nearly became one of the victims. Kate explained how the case had gone cold over a decade ago and how it was Castle's need to understand the story that found evidence proving her mother's murder was not a random act of gang violence. She left out the fact that she kicked him off of her team for his meddling when she found out. She did tell them all about Dick Coonan and how Castle supplied the hundred thousand dollars needed to hire the contract killer.

Both Bob and Mary could only shake their heads. "Wow Rick, this sounds like one of your books. Maybe you and Kate should write it. Remember, I get first dibs on the movie rights?"

Now it was Rick's turn to blush. "I don't know Bob. I've never talked to Kate about this before.. I'm not sure if she'd want to tell her story."

Kate gave him a wry smile. "Oh, I don't know Castle. Maybe Patterson would like to write it."

Castle gives her a look of mock indignation. "Why special agent Davidson I am hurt by your implication that James Patterson could tell your story better than I.." The entire group chuckles at his comment.

Rick glances at his watch. It was nearly midnight. Lake walks back to the patio smiles and asks about what juicy tidbits she's missed out on. Rick asks her if Alex was asleep – he was. The small talk continued - some of the highlights that Lake had missed out on while with Alex were repeated. Castle slowly rose to his feet. "Well it's getting late. I should be heading home.."

Deep down Kate is relieved to be leaving. She enjoyed meeting all of them and loved seeing their home, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't belong in a 'family' gathering with Castle's deceased wife's parents and sister. The fact that all involved went out of their way to never mention her only added to the tension. Rick started walking to Alex's guest room when Mary touched his arm and suggested that he leave the boy there for the night. Castle could pick him up first thing in the morning, or they all could stay there for the night. Rick wasn't sure how Kate would react to staying in a stranger's home – even a home as nice as this.

Rick turned to face Kate in an attempt to gage her reaction to Mary's offer. Maybe she would feel more comfortable here rather than 'alone' with just Rick at his place.

"Your call Kate." Castle suggested, trying to read her facial expression.

She pushed her hand back through her hair, a tired look on her face. "I'm tired. We can just stay here – if you don't mind."

Mary smiled. "Follow me Kate. I'll show you to your room." Mary turned and stated walking to the stairs. "Good night Richard." Mary calls to Rick as she ascends the stairs, Kate following behind.

"Nite Mary, Till tomorrow, Kate." Richard softly replies as he turns and walks to Alex's room.

Mary leads Kate down the hallway to the guest room. Typical of everything else in the house, even this room was beautiful. The furniture, drapes, wall hangings, everything was perfect. "You must have been important to Richard." Mary states matter-of-factly.

Kate is surprised by the comment. "We were partners for nearly two years. Nothing more." Kate states again, a touch of sadness in her voice.

Mary gives her a look that only a mother can. "It's been nearly 5 years. I love Richard like my own son, but it's time for him to move on. River wouldn't want to see him like this." She sighed at the thought of her daughter, then looked at Kate and smiled. "Good night Kate." She turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Kicking off her shoes, Kate sat down on the side of the bed wondering what Mary meant. 'Was she giving her permission to pursue Rick?' 'What makes her think that he feels anything for her?' 'Do I have any feelings for him after all of these years?' The questions continued to play in her head like a tape on loop until sleep took over.

Chapter 6: Nightmares

Rick was standing to the left of the podium as Kate Beckett gave the eulogy for Captain Montgomery. Kate looked at him as she spoke about having someone by your side. Rick sees a glint of light from behind the tombstones, but doesn't figure out the reason until it's too late. He calls out her name just as the bullet hits her. Rick holds her head while pressing on the wound on her chest. Her eyes look straight up at the sky. He cries out "Hang on Kate. Don't leave me. I love you." as the life drains from her body.

Rick sat up, covered in sweat, his body shaking. The nightmare was back – the same nightmare that he had nearly every night for a year after Kate was shot. Regardless of how it began, it always ended the same – Rick telling her that he loved her and Kate dying.

In reality, Rick was at the funeral, but he was sitting with Martha and Alexis behind Captain Montgomery's wife and daughters. Roy had continued to participate in Rick's weekly poker game along with the mayor and judge Markwright until the week he was killed. If Kate saw him sitting there, he never knew. When she was shot, it was Lanie who ran to her, trying to cover the wound and crying for help. Rick made sure that Martha and Alexis made their way home and followed the others to the hospital. He sat there with Lanie, Ryan and Esposito in stunned silence as the doctors worked to save Kate's life.

Minutes later, a visibly upset Dr Josh Davidson walked into the room. The four of them approached the doctor trying to find out how Kate was. He told them that she was still in surgery and that she had lost a lot of blood. He didn't know if she would make it or not. A few seconds elapse and Josh realizes who is standing there with Kate's 'cop' friends. He'd seen his picture on the jackets of the books that Kate can't seem to get enough of. He'd heard her stories.

Grabbing Rick by the lapels of his suit coat, he drives Castle into the wall, shouting "You son-of-a-bitch you, this is all your fault. If you hadn't got her started looking for her mother's killer, none of this would have happened."

Castle is stunned at first, a part of him believing that this was somehow his fault. Instincts took over before he could think, a well placed right cross to Josh's jaw placed his ass on the floor. Before he could make the good doctor pay for his comments he feels Esposito and Ryan grabbing him by the arms, pulling him away.

"I won't have you acting like this when Katie is in there fighting for her life!" Jim Becket shouts as he walks into the room.

Rick shrugs off the hold on his arms by the two and turns to leave. He leaves the hospital, never to return.

Nine years later and the memories are as vivid today as if it happened yesterday. 'Why were the dreams always so different from reality?' Rick pondered. He hadn't had this nightmare in nearly eight years. He met River, and she took the nightmares away. She brought him peace. A look of melancholy consumes him. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he lays down again closing his eyes, and hopes for a dreamless sleep.

Dick Coonan pressed the gun into Rick's side warning her of how painful a gunshot to the liver would be. She figured out too late that it was Coonan that had actually killed her mother. She had to know who hired him. She watched as Coonan walked Castle out of the interrogation room, gun pressed in his side. Kate looked behind her to see Captain Montgomery standing there, his service revolver drawn. Coonan continued walking to the elevator, Rick at his side. Dick is distracted for a second and Castle seizes the opportunity, slamming the back of his head into Coonan's nose, breaking it. Stunned, Coonan backs away while firing his gun, striking Rick in the chest. Kate attempts CPR as Castle lies there dead, his lifeless eyes staring up at her.

Kate snaps awake, clutching her own chest where she was shot. It had been years since she had this nightmare. It was nearly a nightly occurrence in the months after she shot and killed Coonan, but seemed to end when Castle left with Gina all those years ago. Glancing at her father's wristwatch sitting on the nightstand she sees that it's only 3:30 am. She closes her eyes wondering what brought this dream back as she tries to go back to sleep.

Kate was woken from her sleep by a knock on her door. Mary poked her head inside and informed her that breakfast was ready downstairs. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was now 8:30am. Taking her father's wristwatch from the nightstand and fastening the buckle on her wrist, she grabbed the clothes that she wore the day before and walked to the en suite. She hurriedly washed up and reapplied her makeup before making her way down the stairs.

She could hear their voices coming from the kitchen. It sounded like a lively discussion. Kate walked into the kitchen and saw the entire group surrounding the island in the center of the room. Rick was the first to notice her standing there. "Kate!" he called out and padded the seat of the stool beside him. "Sit down, please. Have some breakfast."

Kate may have never felt as out of place as she did at that moment. She feigned a smile and walked into the room taking the seat beside him. Rick smiled and pointed to the cup of coffee already there. "I think I got it right." He paused almost nervous at seeing her expression. "I can get you something else if you like."

"No coffee's fine." Kate replied as she took a sip and offered a contented look. "Thanks, this is good."

Alex was telling Lake a story about kindergarten and some girl that was being mean to him. She listened intently to his story hanging on every word. Lake smiles as Alex finishes and says "You know this means that she likes you."

Alex returns an incredulous look to her. "No she doesn't, she hit me!"

Lake just smiles. "Sometimes that's how girls tell boys they like them."

"Really?"

"Really." Rick replies. Everybody laughs as the shocked look on Alex's face changes as he realizes what they are telling him. Even Kate has to laugh as Alex looks so much like a miniature version of Rick when he smiles. Rick turned to face Kate. "Did you sleep ok?"

"I slept well."

Bob looked at Rick and Kate. "So what do you two have planned for the day?"

Rick looked back to Bob. "I hadn't given it a lot of thought. I promised Kate that I'd let her drive my cars. I thought maybe we could spend the day on Cannery Row. " He turned now to face Kate. "You haven't been there before have you?"

"No. I've never been there."

"Great!" Rick beamed. "We can go to the Monterey Aquarium too." He turned to look down at Alex. "You like the Aquarium, don't you?"

Alex looks up to him smiling. "Yes, I love to see the fishes!"

Rick smiles as he rubs his hands together. "Now we have a plan. Let's go guys!" As he gestures to Kate and Alex. Bob, Mary and Lake follow the trio as they make their way out the front door and to Rick's car.

They stop on the porch where Alex begins hugging, Bob, Mary and Lake. Kate thanks the couple for their hospitality and shakes their hands. Rick gives all three hugs and promises to return to visit as soon as possible.

Rick scoops Alex up and deposits him into the booster eat in the back of his car. He then holds the passenger door open for Kate to get in before getting into the car himself. They wave to Bob, Mary and Lake as they start down the driveway and back onto 17 mile drive.

It was a beautiful morning. The air was a little chilly, but the sun was warm as it peaked through the trees as they returned to Rick's home. Castle suggested that they stop at his home first so that she could freshen up and Alex could change clothes.

An hour later they pulled into the parking area near the Aquarium. Castle pulled Alex from the booster seat before raising the top and locking the car. Kate followed Rick carrying Alex on his shoulders into the aquarium. Alex oohed and aah-ed at the various displays. Even Kate was impressed with variety on display. She watched as Castle interacted with the boy, amazed at his child like innocence. For a man who grew up with out a father or father figure in his life, Richard Castle was a natural. Alex ran to the petting tank where various fishes would make contact with people. Little Castle wanted to pet the stingray and eagerly placed his hand in the tank and waited. Rick stopped and stared at the awestruck look on the boy's face as the stingray swam up and brushed the boys hand as it passed.

"Daddy, Daddy," Alex exclaimed unable to contain his delight. "I touched the stingray! He was so soft." He turned and immediately stuck his hand back into the tank hoping for another chance.

Rick could only laugh and reply turning to face Kate. "That's my boy!" His grin did little to mask the immense pride he felt.

Kate could only laugh and comment. "Looks like you finally found somebody to play with." She gently nudged his shoulder with hers as she said it.

Castle nudged her back and smiled. "Yeah, but he's already wiser than me. I need to enjoy it for as long as I can." He turned and called to Alex, still standing with his little hand in the tank. "Let's go get some lunch, little man." He then returned his attention to Kate. "Are you ok with lunch?"

She smiled and replied. "Sure. I could eat."

Rick just grinned and grabbed Alex, carrying him on his hip while holding Kate's hand in his as they walked out of the aquarium. Upon exiting, Castle turned to Kate and asked. "Where would you like to eat?"

"It's your town. You pick someplace." She replied.

"How about Bubba Gump Shrimp Company?" He asks and points to the iconic restaurant less than a 100 feet from where they were standing.

"Sure. Why not?"

The meal was pleasant as was the conversation. Castle was his usual charming self that she remembered from a decade ago, spinning tales of life with a five year old son. Kate relaxed for the first time since she arrived, even laughing at a few of Rick's tales of being a bumbling father. She knew that he was anything but bumbling when it came to being a parent. Kate had seen how he focused all of his attention to his children, forced to act as both a mother and father twice.

They finished their meals and decided to take one last walk along the beach before she had to leave for the airport. Rick and Kate walked together in silence as they watched the waves crash against the craggy rock lined shoreline. A few seagulls and the splashing of the waves were the only sounds. Alex ran a few feet ahead of the two looking for anything of interest along the shoreline. Castles eyes never leaving the child for more than a few seconds.

Kate wondered what life would be like if different choices were made. Asking those questions of herself that she had no idea what the answer was. Rick saw the far away look on her face and gently took her hand in his as they walked together. He was surprised just how small and frail her hand felt in his. Rick always saw her as larger than life, strong and fierce. Holding her hand she seemed so vulnerable. It shook him a little to think that was even possible.

Kate glanced at her father's wristwatch and noticed that it was already after five. Rick gave her hand a gentle squeeze and commented. "I wish we had more time."

She smiled and replied. "Me too."

Rick called for Alex to turn around, that they had to go back to their house. The boy waved and started to run back towards them, not slowing down until he was an equal distance away in the opposite direction. Minutes later they were back at Castle's home and she was carrying her bag out to her rental car. Rick and Alex followed her out of the house and to her car. Kate extended her hand to Alex. "It was a pleasure to meet you Alex."

The boy smiled and took her hand in his. "It was nice to meet you too."

Not fully understanding why, Kate knelt down and pulled Alex in for a hug. He held her tightly without a word before releasing his hold and backing away shyly.

Rick smiled at the sight and commented. "Oh goody! Kate's giving hugs, or are those only for Alex?" He gave the now smiling boy a wink.

"Oh, I suppose I could be forced to give you one too." She chuckled as Alex laughed at his father.

Walking up to her, he wrapped his arms around Kate's slim body, drawing her to him. Kate seemed to melt a little in his embrace, surprising herself. Something felt right about it and she didn't know why. Tilting his head down to whisper in her ear, he commented. "I'm so glad you came Kate."

She tried to give his body a squeeze. "I'm glad I came too." She rose on her toes and planted a small kiss on his cheek. Rick could only smile at her in response, afraid of returning the gesture.

Reluctantly, he released her from the hug and walked around to open the door for her. She thanked him for his hospitality and he thanked her again for coming. She started the car and rolled down the window. Rick asked how often she happened to come out to northern California and she replied not very often. "Well, you're always welcome here. Anytime, give me a call. I'm sure Alex would like to see you too.."

Kate smiled and comments. "You never know. Maybe there's an opening in the San Francisco office.."

Castle smiles and replies. "Well I do have a couple of friends in Washington.." He stops smiling and gives her a sincere look. "You know, we could've been great together.."

Kate remembers the first time he said that to her and nearly gives him the same teasing response, but realizes that it was true. She just got a glimpse of the type of life she could have had if different choices were made. She looked at him, with eyes turning red and replied. "I know." She pulled the car into gear and drove away as Alex and Rick waved goodbye.

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