Disclaimer: I do not own, nor claim to, any part of NCIS or the actors/actresses, stories, rights or anything else associated with the show. This is a fan fic for entertainment purposes only…
So Close, Yet Almost Too Close
Okay, so I must admit Tony DiNozzo is growing on me. When I first met him, I thought him an egotistical male-chauvinist pig. I could've sworn he was having phone sex that day I first walked into the bull pen, but I seriously doubt it. For a while, everyone was talking to themselves. Agent Todd's death was harder on the team than any of them would admit; especially Tony.
But I've begun to like his sense of humour, even though it's terribly warped. I've even enjoyed the innuendoes he throws out. But that day we got ambushed and locked in the refrigerator trailer, something changed. Was it because we were both in the same situation and could've very easily been killed? I don't know. I did a stupid thing and fired my weapon in there, causing it to ricochet all around us. I think Tony was a little surprised when I tackled him to the floor and ended up atop him. I could tell that he was thoroughly enjoying himself though.
Me, I know I was enjoying it. Being inside that cold trailer was not a lot of fun, and for the brief moment that we were so close, his body heat warmed me and made the cold air of the trailer seem to disappear. My face was so close to his; I got a good look at his expression as it turned from surprise to relaxed and easy. It would have been nothing for me to kiss him; in fact, I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. His eyes were smoky and almost unreadable and I wondered for a split second if he weren't thinking the same thing.
People do strange things under stress. If I'd have kissed him, or asked him to kiss me, would it have turned into something we would both regret later? I won't ever know, because nothing happened. I rolled away and we stood up and began to think about how we were going to get out of the situation we were in. But I still wonder what it would've been like. I'm sure he's a great kisser; he's got the perfect mouth and lips for it. And his body is so solid and his arms would be so strong and safe. Oh, what am I thinking? It would be breaking Rule #1 or 2 or 12; whatever rule it is. But now, working with Tony everyday, I can't stop thinking about what it would've been like. Would he have let me kiss him? Would he have kissed me back? Or would he have pushed me away and admonished me? I know his feelings for Agent Todd, an agent I never knew. I feel as though I'm intruding; both with the team, and with Tony. But I can't deny he's attractive.
Tony told me I'd regret never sleeping with him and I have to wonder, if I regret not kissing him, is he right on the other? At this point, I'll probably never know. He's not as big of a chauvinistic pig as I'd first thought; he does care for others in his own way. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I just hope that, unlike Agent Todd, I'll find out before I die.