A/N: Inspired by a video from Youtube known as RWBY Meet the Demoman (Nora).
watch?v=F5-E2mRjdgI
The link for anyone interested. I obtained permission from the creator to use it.
In this story, Grimm meat is edible and is considered a delicacy.
Shalante is Scottish for "To your health!".
Til helse is Norwegian for "To your health!".
Italic text are interjections into a memory, a narrative.
Bold text is a memories events occurring, not what a character is currently doing.
Normal text is normal.
Two warriors sat next to a large campfire, with an Ursa Steak slowly being grilled over the fire's massive flames. The two seemed to not mind, preferring to instead drink their Scottish and Norse selves into submission, or at least till they became drunk and needed their respective partner's assistance. A stream gently flowed by the two, as they continued their drinking session.
The first, a Scottish black skinned man, with an eyepatch nestled upon his left eye, while a light black bennie rested snugly upon his head. His beard extended to his upper lip, while his sideburns reached the sides of the bennie he wore. His nose retained a large shape while his brown eyes held within them the memories of past wars and horrible Blu soldiers. His face was worthy of the term rugged, yet still handsome in its own right.
Several Grenade launchers lay nearby, properly positioned to give them maximum comfort as their ammunition also lay in proper stacks. Sticky launchers as well as custom made axes and shields were placed nearby as well, resting next to the Grenade launchers.
Several of the weapons were disassembled, and he was tinkering with them, making sure each piece of equipment was in prime condition and fit for immediate combat usage.. A disassembled EOD suit lay in neat pieces next to the weapons cache. He was currently wearing a Flak jacket over red clothing, with grenade holsters on the armor.
Taking a moment to drink from his bottle, the man observed the young woman next to him, carefully grilling the Ursa Steak to perfection. Despite what her friend, a chinese martial artist, had warned him about, an airheadedness and carefree nature, he had yet to see any actual negative qualities. Indeed, once he had settled his gear into their proper places around the campfire, she was instead curious and became much more friendly than what had been described to him, as expected from a fellow explosives user.
The woman wore a white blouse, fitted inside a black colored armor suit, with two grey straps extending from the front of her pink long skirt to the back. A blue and red abdominal shirt could be seen as well, along with a pair of white boots with pink laces. Her bright blue eyes were darting all over the area, seeming both cheerful and alert for any potential intruders. Her bright orange hair cascaded down her neck smoothly, moving about as it was as she carefully cooked the steak to perfection. Although she may not have looked the part, Nora had plenty of experience with outdoor survival, and that included knowing how to cook on a campfire.
Magnhild lay disassembled, resting on the log occupied by the Valkyrie herself, while various tools rested nearby for her use in modifying or repairing the massive weapon. A specialized armor suit lay disassembled to her left as well, being a fusion of an EOD, Hazmat, and hunter grade armor set. It was even all pink, making it a simple task to find her among radiation zones or in fogged areas.
Taking a moment to add a few pinches of seasoning, she looked over at the drinking explosives expert. She was interested in the man, seeing that he was also of similar heritage of herself, and seemed to be an expert in the field of explosives, both in using and disabling them. Not many people were as excited in explosives as herself, since only Ren was willing to listen to her about them before she met everyone at Beacon, so to find another person interested, and someone who had even more knowledge than herself was a refreshing experience.
The two Demolition soldiers sat in a companionable silence as the Ursa steak was finally grilled to a perfect temperature and texture, it's juices packed well inside as spices lined it's outer layer, ranging from tyme to rosemary to salt to all sorts of spices and herbs.
The two took their portions, the two halves of the enormous steak to be exact, and the man said, "Shalante!" To which the woman replied with, "Til helse!"
The two tore into their steaks with terrifying efficiency, as befitting of their attitudes. Yet, even as they voraciously tore into their food with gusto, pausing every so often to take a swig of drink, vodka for the man and Red Sap from the forest of Forever Fall for the woman, not a single drop nor piece of drink and meat stained their clothes, showing their expertise in the art of tearing into their food.
As the last strip of meat was cleaned off from their meat and their flasks had been refilled, the two began the process of cleaning their hands and teeth of themselves, utilizing the Ursa's bones for makeshift toothpicks, and cleaning their hands with the nearby stream.
And finally, the two introduced themselves, as they finished their cleaning and sat back down on their respective logs, slowly digesting their gigantic meal with their drinks.
The man spoke with a gruff, yet friendly tone, his scottish accent clearly present,
"Well, might as well introduce myself to ya, lass. Just call me Demoman, or Demo for short. And no," He said as the woman's mouth opened to ask something, "I don't have an actual name. I had to forget it to ensure that the Blus would never learn of me family if I was captured..."
The woman's expression fell for a bit, before once again becoming radiantly happy,
"Hi Demmy! I'm Nora Valkyrie! And I really love explosives! Because y'know, explosives are just so fun! And I really like hearing about how other fellow Demolition practitioners use their stuff, like story time with my friends!" She rambled on, missing the Demoman's amused expression at his nickname of "Demmy", and watched as the now identified Nora kept talking.
Normally, he would have been annoyed by now, god knows the Scout pissed him off quite a bit, but he always had a soft spot for cheerful teenage girls, as they reminded him of his daughter. Even better, she was a fellow Demolition practitioner, and it had been a while since he'd last spoke to anyone well versed in explosives.
Leaning forward a bit, the Demoman spoke with an amused, yet interested tone,
"A trade of explosive stories eh? Lass, I like the way you think."
"Well then, could you tell me a story of your exploits involving explosives?"
"Hah! Makin' me start first, are ya? Alright, alright..."
"Ya wouldn't believe some the idiocy I've seen from some of the Blus..."
A full squad moved clumsily, each man undisciplined and untrained. Their footsteps would make a Spy cringe, while their rambunctious laughter would set a Soldier off on a lecturing rampage. Demoman was lying down upon a nearby cliff, observing the scene through his binoculars, simply waiting for a moment to present itself.
"Just a little further, just a little further..." He said as he gripped a detonator in his right hand, with a spare in his left. The minefield he had set up a little while ago was just a few meters away from their position, just a few more meters and they'd be blown to smithereens.
The party suddenly paused, halting their footsteps before scanning their surroundings. Demoman hid behind his cliff, inching up slowly to reobserve the squad.
What he witnessed was shocking.
The entire squad of Blu soldiers prepared to break into a sprint, and jumped right into the mindfield, incomprehensibly yelling while doing so.
"Gorlog's beard! What the hell are they doing?" he exclaimed, shocked by the sheer stupidity of the Blus. They were just jumping to their deaths, and seemed cheerful?
He went back to report this strange finding to the company of Reds stationed back at HQ, all the while unaware of a world shaking event.
When you die, you respawn.
"You mean that you all just respawn, like a video game, when killed?"
"Shocking ain't it lass? once we learned of that fact, we threw ourselves against the Blus relentlessly, since no one could truly die anymore."
"Indeed... Well, I'll tell you a story of mine now!"
Have you ever felt the thrill of flying on a giant killer bird, and just getting to fly through the air like that?
A grin split the face of a woman controlling an object below them, it's long black shape resembling a car from their angle.
"It's like a Joystick! Vhrooooom~"
A cry of panic, "Nora! Nora please get us down from here!"
A sweatdrop occupied the third person's brow, "Well, this is... Unexpected?"
A fond smile rested upon the fourth's, "She's always like this..."
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's superma- I mean, a Nevermore!"
"Welcome aboard Valkyrie Airlines! We transport all sorts of cargo and passengers across the continents with our specialty delivery birds!" Nora shouted with delight, mirth bubbling in her voice as she gleefully piloted the Nevermore below them to their destination, Vale city.
Jaune clung to the Nevermore for dear life, screaming, "Oh god, we're going to die!"
Pyrrha nudged Jaune gently so as to not startle him and pointed to the sky, "Jaune, look at the stars."
Jaune, still clinging to the bird's midnight black feathers, chanced a glance upwards, and fell silent, awestruck by the sight above him. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined such a perfect view of the stars existed, especially not on the back of a hijacked Nevermore!
Jaune felt Pyrrha resting her head on his shoulder, and put his arm around her, as the two gazed upon the night sky, full of stars.
As the Knight and the Spartan sat next to one another, enjoying each other's company, Ren kept a careful watch on Nora, to ensure that she wouldn't fall asleep or anything.
"Hey Ren?" A childish voice resounded.
Ren looked to Nora, who had spoken and answered, "Yes Nora?"
"Could you come over here for a moment?"
Ren walked over to Nora, keeping his balance perfect even on the Nevermore, as a testament to his control and Nora's control over the fearsome beast.
As he sat down, Nora looked down, a blush apparent on her face.
"Hey Ren... We're best friends right?" She whispered.
Ren jolted in surprise, before he responded, "Of course."
Nora fidgets slightly before saying, "Well, I mean, we're best friends, so we're going to stay together forever right?"
Confused with where the situation was going, Ren answered back, "I'll stay by your side for the rest of my life, you know that silly." He smiled, amusement tinging his face.
Nora withdrew a box from her pocket before handing it to Ren. As Ren opened it, his face contorted in confusion, before transforming to understanding, and finally realization as he looked to Nora's blushing face.
"W-well then you'll j-just have to m-m-marry me then, r-right?"
Ren was silent for a minute, before he placed the ring on Nora's fourth finger, and did something that the two had never done before.
He kissed her.
The kiss only lasted for a moment, but to the two souls, it seemed to be an eternity.
As the two separated, Nora grinned and squealed, "Oh, here comes the fun part!"
Suddenly, the Nevermore screeched, and the giant bird entered a nose dive, straight towards the tallest skyscraper in Vale.
And in that moment, with Nora's gleeful laughter, Ren's sighs, Jaune's screams of terror, and Pyrrha's surprised yells, one thing was clear.
The two childhood friends were in love with one another, and nothing would change that.
"WE'RE ABOUT TO CRASH!"
"Hahaha! That must have been a great interruption!"
"It sure was! It was funny to hear the others yelling as I piloted the bird to land on the tower perfectly!"
"You landed perfectly after a nosedive? Damn, that's impressive. Well, it's my turn this time. Maybe something more light hearted, eh?"
Did I ever tell you about the time when I cooked using Dynamite? No? Oh, this is a good one lass!
"Great, I'm on kitchen duty this time..." Demoman sighed as he attempted to learn how he was to cook food for an entire base for a night.
Nothing had worked, as was evident from the mostly destroyed kitchen. An axe was planted into the wall out of frustration while various scorch were scattered among the the many appliances.
What could he do, a mere Demolition expert? What experience did he have in the art of cooking? While his art of explosive making was precise and well refined, the two were vastly-
"Similar?"
"Hah! You're bright!"
It fit together. He'd been going about the cooking all wrong. All he had to do to make the food, was to do what he did best. Make explosives to do the cooking for him.
As he rushed about, gathering his tools of his trade, he set them in their positions for the feast making beginning...
Shortly afterwards, a scorched Demoman wheeled out the food on several carts, as the hungry denizens of the Red Base awaited their meal. No one knew what to expect, but when they bore witness to the reveal of the food, jaws were dropped, people fainted, and a sense of wonderment pervaded the mess hall.
Arrayed on simple platters was the most delectable feast seen in the history of Red army history. meats of all types and sizes lay roasting, warm and glorious to the eye. Buttered vegetables lay steaming in their dishes, begging to be eaten. Desserts were scattered about, ranging from Parfaits to full out cakes. And best of all, the revered Sandvich made its presence known on the special platters found everywhere in the feat's boundaries.
As the soldiers of the base took their food, each waited for the rest to acquire their food, before they all said in unison, "Itadakimasu!" And took their first tentative bites.
Cries of delight and amazement resounded throughout the hall as the finest quality foods invaded their taste buds, creating wonderful mixtures of taste within their mouths. Seconds were called for, food was passed around, and the cycle of consumption continued.
When he was later questioned on the nature and methods used to create such wonderful foods into existence, he simply answered with, "Explosives."
"Did you really make it all with explosives?"
"I actually did! The secret to it is that many chemicals found in most bombs are delicious to the senses and are extremely healthy!"
"Really? Which ones?"
"All of them!"
"So eating bombs is good for you?"
"Yup!"
"Well, I suppose it's my time for my story!"
How do I introduce myself? Oh, this is great... First, let me set up my Scroll's video function...
An explosion is seen in the Emerald Forest as a young orange haired girl is seen to have made the explosion that killed the Ursa she was riding.
"What makes me a good Demowoman?" She says as she takes a swig from her flask of apple juice.
"If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?"
A smile is seen on the same girl's face as she exclaims at a dinner table to her friends,
"Let's do it!"
"Not one of ya's gonna' survive this."
The girl rolled out of her cover after an order by her partner, bombarding the hostile Nevermore with 40 mm heart tipped high explosive grenades while under fire from it's vicious assault of razor sharp feathers.
"One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie!"
Nora shouted as she continued consuming her pancakes with her long time partner, creating dramatic, yet extremely accurate hand motions to represent the motions of disarming, and failing to disarm, a live bomb.
Nora continues drinking as the screen recounts the tales of her experience with a Deathstalker, of how she smashed it to Kingdom come after being launched from a friend's shield.
"I got a part of my brain cut out. I'm a white, cheerful Valkyrie."
She murmured as she accidently knocked over one of her grenades nearby, nearly priming it as it rolled to the ground yet didn't explode.
"They've got more f-[censored]-s than they've got the likes of me."
She mumbled as she ranted for a while, cursing for a long period of time.
"So..." She exclaims while setting down, taking yet another swig of her juice.
"...T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure." She says with a grin, spinning words of fantastic proportions.
"Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!" She yells, confronting the army of Grimm before her, before pulling out a detonator. Nora jauntily salutes the Grimm army as they look down at their feet at the blinking lights, and the surrounding foliage before realizing that they had been lured into a death field.
"I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end!"
A field of explosives go off at once, obliterating the invading Grimm army and sending scattered bits of Grimm bodies all over the field of battle.
"Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!"
She finishes with a flourish, and a grenade going off behind her.
As the Demoman witnessed what might have been the most badass introduction in his life, he had only one thought, "This girl is the epitome of explosive experts."