No Goodbyes, a forever knight fanfic

DISCLAIMER: Forever Knight belongs to Sony and no copyright infringement is intended. This story, however, belongs to me. It is not for profit and is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not publish this story or post this story on a website without asking my permission.

WARNING: The story below is based on Crazy Love so if you haven't yet seen it, don't read this if you don't want to be spoiled. It also contains adult situations. I welcome any comments, criticisms, or whatever.

-Sandra Gray

No Goodbyes

by Sandra Gray

Janette touched down in the clearing and said, "Nicola."

He had his back to her, was looking out over the water, but she could see the tenseness, the rigidity, of him. Still, it was something of a shock to see his eyes blazing hot and red as he turned to her. His fangs were showing, too, and his voice throbbed as he said, "I wasn't sure you'd come."

Janette started to walk toward him. She had sensed his need on the phone, although he had not been crass about it. With each step closer to him, it flared brighter, drawing her as she had not been drawn in a long time. Finally she stood before him.

"We all have our needs," she said. And then he grabbed her, fiercely, the desire in him hot and whitely blazing across their bond...desire for her, desire for her blood. His fangs drove into the soft flesh of her throat and the blaze in him grew even brighter. He sucked from her in a quick, long draught, pulling her tightly, almost painfully, closer.

The sensation of being drained sent her mind and body into almost senseless abandon. It was a sensation both pleasureable and fearful...like dying. She closed her eyes and stood helplessly, caught in his desire, and unable to do much but accept and glory in it. Images assailed her mind-Nick drinking from a young woman in a gown, mine, "drink from me again", no!, mine, the blood filled with Amalia's passion filling his mouth, mine, the life flowing into him. Her own beast aroused, Janette plunged her fangs into his throat. The gowned woman changed into a gowned Natalie Lambert, "drink from me again", mine, "drink from me again", NO!, "drink from me again", MINE!, and the tide washed over her in a blazing white froth.

And then it was suddenly over and he pushed her away from him abruptly.

He took a few steps away from her, and Janette felt his embarassment at having let his desires bring him to climax so soon. Thinking to console him, she said as he paced back toward her, "I like it when you need me."

A wave of guilt from him washed through their bond to her. He stepped behind her and said, "I'm sorry I used you." Janette resisted the urge to shrug. While what he had done was use her, it had been a closer expression of his true nature than he had allowed himself in a long time. Perhaps with just a little more encouragement...

"Come and sleep the day with me," she said to him, knowing her desire not to "sleep" the whole day would communicate itself to him. He glanced at her, his eyes dropping briefly to her throat. Then she felt that wall coming up between them again...that wall that said, "Shut out the vampire."

"No. I have to work," he said, looking away from her. Then he rose into the sky and sped away-no doubt to not feel her hurt too much. Assuming he could feel it through his guilt.

There were no goodbyes.

"Eternal friends?"
"Maybe more."

Janette dressed for the evening in a simple black dress with spaghetti straps and left her hair down and loosely curled. Then she walked into the Raven. The club was busy.

Miklos brought her a drink and she sipped at it as she watched the people dancing, and watched the door. Each time it opened, she hoped to see him. She could still feel the desire in him across their bond-once very strongly.

So she was only mildly surprised when the phone rang and she heard his voice. "Janette?"

"Just a moment," said Miklos and handed her the phone. Janette walked a few steps down the bar, taking her drink with her.

"Yes, Nicola. I am here."

"I...I know that...after last night, I shouldn't even expect you to want to give me the time of day."

"Why should you think that when I invited you to spend the day with me?"

He hesitated briefly and she felt desire peak in him again. "I'm...sorry," he said. "I was wondering...if you'd like to meet me by the lake again? I promise you it will be different."

Janette hesitated briefly, then said, "All right, Nicola. I'll be there." She hung up the phone and turned to Miklos. "Miklos, you're in charge until I return." Miklos nodded.

Janette walked back into her living quarters to check on her appearance again. On a whim, she pulled out a long, red-lined black cape and slipped it over her shoulders. Minutes later, it flapped about her as she flew to the clearing by the lake where she had met Nicola the night before.

He wasn't there. At first she wondered if he had changed his mind, but then she felt as well as heard him swoop down into the clearing behind her. She turned and watched him approach, pushing back the hood of her cape. Yes, the desire was still there...not as powerful as the night before, but there. She let it wash over and through her, let it arouse her.

He stopped in front of her and gently put his hands on her waist. None of the blind grabbing of before. He leaned closer to kiss her, prolonging the actual moment before their lips touched until the space between their lips almost crackled with the energy. Then he kissed her and pulled her close.

Then he pulled back his head. "Janette, are you sure?"

"It is not wrong to give in to what you are with me." She pulled his head back down for another kiss. There was a brief flare of resistance-his stupid morality!-before he gave himself over to his desires. Their kissing became more intense and she felt his body tensing against hers.

She felt him untie her cape, felt him whip it out in a flourish and let it fall to the ground. He paused to look at her, his eyes glowing yellow, and then he pulled her down with him to lie on the field of red. Janette smiled against his lips, reminded of a forest tryst in the 16th century that...

His desire for her increased as his hands moved over her body, his fingers finding the zipper pull on her dress and pulling. She started to undress him too, caught up in his passion and the danger of discovery. Such wild abandon was a thrill all its own.

The desire to possess started to rise in him again. Once she had been afraid of being "smothered" by him. But then she suddenly remembered him giving her back the Rembrandt, knew that in his quest to be mortal and free of LaCroix that there was now a part of him that would allow her space if she wanted it, which she was not sure she did. Particularly at the moment. She let her own desires to "possess" him rise also.

When his fangs pierced her throat, she began to get images of Amalia again. She bit him and let her passion for him flow through their bond. She was rewarded with an image of the two of them making love before the desires of the previous night for blood and possession swept over him again. Amalia reappeared, then Natalie Lambert, and the litany of "drink from me again" and mine.

But his desires were not so intense as to totally overwhelm him this time. This time there was more than the blood.

He pulled his head and throat away from her. Janette opened her eyes and looked at him as they moved together. His eyes blazed yellow as he growled at her, seemed to meld with all the stars in the clear night sky as a white hot flash burned into and blurred her vision. She closed her eyes and felt his fangs again at her throat and by no real conscious volition, she sought his blood again also, the giving and taking and giving and taking in an endless current as his stars rained into her, setting all her veins afire. Then an image of Natalie flashed into her mind and they weren't one anymore. And as he pulled his head away there was that...tedious...guilt.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. She watched him frown, uncertain...watched the yellow glow fade from his blue eyes. Blue eyes that were as deep and intense as her dim memory of the ocean on a summer day. She ran her fingers through his golden curls...so bright in the darkness. It was his brightness that she had always loved, from the moment she had laid eyes on him. He rivalled the stars with his brightness. She blinked, then smiled.

Nick moved off of her, began to slip his clothes back on. Janette pulled on her dress, stood, and picked up her cape. Nick looked at her, a bit warily, then said, "I hope...that is..."

She tossed the cape around her, tied it, pulled up the hood. Then she came close to him and ran her hands up his jacket front. "It was wonderful," she said with a smile. "Come back to the club with me?" she asked, but knew what the answer would be.

He smiled briefly. "I can't. I'm...supposed to be on duty... writing a report."

"Ah. Well then, you'd better go."

He smiled again, then took off into the sky...disappearing into the brightness.

There were no goodbyes.

Janette sat at the bar, running her finger around the rim of her wine glass, staring into the red liquid. She became aware of LaCroix taking a stool beside her. She looked at him.

He smiled slightly. "Janette, my sweet. Seeing Nicholas again tonight?"

Was there nothing of which he was unaware?

"My dear...passion such as the two of you exhibit can never go... unnoticed. Two nights ago I believe Nicholas could have lighted the entire city with his desires. Although it must have been somewhat frustrating for you... But then you did entice him into seeing you again last night. I must say, it pleases me to see Nicholas being true to himself for once." He paused, waiting expectantly, but Janette just raised her glass to her lips and took a sip of blood, saying nothing. "Come, Janette," he continued. "You didn't answer my question."

"I do not know if I will see him," replied Janette, falling into that uncaring mode into which she had often retreated as a mortal- that realm of empty thought, null emotions...the one spot she had discovered she could not be followed if she did not wish it, not even by LaCroix. That spot that she had gone to when she could no longer take the brightness...or his guilt.

"Ah, you underestimate your attractions, my dear," said LaCroix, running his index finger along her jaw.

In her protected zone, she did not react at all. She knew that Nicola's return was not so assured. The image of Natalie, the guilt... he was not ready yet to give up his quest for the sun.

"I want to leave this place," she said.

LaCroix's eyes widened. "What? Janette, he is getting closer to giving up this foolish quest of his, returning to us, returning to you."

Janette kept herself centered on that spot divorced from all around her, knowing that if she was not to be further used as a pawn by LaCroix, she had to give him a good reason for her leaving. "Yes," she said. "If I leave, he will try to follow." LaCroix frowned, his expression skeptical. "Especially if you do not tell him where I have gone right away. He will be concerned at my disappearance after our...closeness." LaCroix still did not look convinced. "His...needs have increased. If I am not here as an outlet for them, how will he continue to function?" She could see LaCroix's mind finally thinking, turning over the possibilities inherent in that idea.

"Yes. He will not want to risk the lives of his...mortal friends." He looked at her. "It is a plan of some merit. I am impressed." He smiled and caressed her jaw again. "He will find it difficult going without you, yes."

Janette looked down, picking up her drink and taking a sip when LaCroix's hand pulled away. "But what of your club?" he asked.

Janette looked at him and smiled her most winningly. "Perhaps you could take it over for me temporarily?"

LaCroix looked around the club, then nodded. He picked up his drink and tossed off the rest of it. His cold blue gaze softened. "But I will miss you, you know. So will he."

"Perhaps...we will not be separated long."

LaCroix studied her for a moment, then headed for the door of the club.

Janette sighed. There were plans to make now...a destination to choose, packing to do, arrangements to be made.

Heartaches to be buried...for a while at least.

Maybe it was wrong to have desired his brightness. Maybe he deserved his shot at the sun...and Natalie Lambert. She knew that after last night she could no longer stand by and watch.

Another fifty years...another hundred...time would not take away what she felt for him, what she would always feel, she realized.

And whenever he came to find her, she'd be there.

There would be no goodbyes, not from her.

No goodbyes.

THE END