"Bella, Me and your dad have talked about what we think would be best for you to do concerning school next year. We've decided to send you to Boarding school." I was gob smacked, "I don't want to go." Was all i could say to my parents. Yes i admit i was having problems in my life now but to send me to boarding school.
"You have no choice in the matter, your already enrolled into the school and we've booked you a flight for Saturday, all you have to do is pack your bags." My mother replied in a commanding voice and i knew that i would be going whether i liked it or not. "Two days,you gave me two days to pack and tell Cassie that i was leaving!" I exploded. My only friend Cassie was my best friend in this dreary town and they expected me to tell her i was leaving in two days.
"No, she already knows, we told her before you and she agrees with us. She thinks it could help you to get away from your school and all those things that was said." It was my dad this time that answered me,he never raised his voice but when he spoke in that voice it could be worse than him shouting.
I ran up to my room to call Cassie, the phone rang three times before she answered. I immediately began speaking without a greeting,"How could you agree with my parents to send me to a boarding school, don't you want to be my friend is that why to get me out the way so you can have normal friends?"
"No, of course not Bella. I love being your friend and you know that. I just think that if you were away from the people at our school and what they've been saying you could get better. Please just try it for me, i worry about you Bella. This could be a good thing."
"Fine, I'll go for you and you alone but you have to promise to stay in contact with me."
She was laughing now, "What? Did you think I'd forget about you? Of course we'll text each other and phone and you'll have a computer in your room. Your parents showed me the brochure to the boarding school and it looks amazing Bella you should be excited about going."
"Ok, I've got to go, I apparently got some packing to do." I was laughing along with her now and feeling a bit better about going.
You might be a bit confused at the minute about what could drive my parents to send me away to boarding school against my will. Well I'll tell you, it happened over a year ago. I was at a party and Cassie had gone off to get us some drinks when the biggest jerk at out school, Mike Newton came over and tried to flirt with me. Seeing as he was a jerk and looked pretty disgusting, i tried to ignore him and when that didn't work, I told him that i wasn't interested. That obviously made me more appealing to him as i was a 'challenge'. He starts to drag me over to a corner of the room so it would be more 'private' as he put it. I was keeping an eye out for Cassie hoping she would appear and help me but she was still getting drinks. When Mike pushed me into the corner and starts trying to kiss me in all the wrong places, so i pulled my arm back to punch him in the face. I wasn't fast enough, he caught my hand and instead picked me up over his shoulder and walked upstairs with me,and into an empty room. What happened in that room I'm not going to repeat and i haven't repeated to anyone ever. No one but me and Mike knows what happened in there but just as i had managed to push him off me a group of people were stood in the doorway and could see my shirt wasn't done up properly and Mike was on the bed but i had leapt up to get out the door. I didn't think i just ran out the house, straight past everyone and past Cassie who was looking for me. I ran as far as i could before collapsing into the doorway of a shop and just cried.
I don't know how long i stayed there for but my phone had rung a few times but i wasn't ready to speak to anyone. When i finally made it home i texted Cassie to tell her i was home and not to worry. I said night to my parents and almost ran to the bathroom to wash away any Mike i had left on me. Once i got out of the nearly burning hot water, i went into my room, but instead of getting into bed, i did something totally different i went to my desk and started going through my draws. I was reaching into the back of the draw, when i caught my arm on the wood and cut my arm. the strange thing was, it hurt but the stress i had felt after the party drifted to the back of my mind and didn't bother me as much. I looked at the cut and it looked, well it looked strangely beautiful. The blood was starting to run down my arm so i quickly went to my private bathroom and cleaned up the cut and put a bandage on it. I was intrigued by the cut but i didn't think about doing it again until what happened at school the next day.
When i pulled into the school the next day, everyone was staring at me but not in the normal way. It was calculating, like they were trying to work me out, i didn't like it. By the time i had found Cassie, i was getting freaked out, but she didn't look any different from the others, wait she looked concerned under the calculating look. She didn't speak she just grabbed my hand and let me to an empty room. "What happened last night Bella, everyone's talking about you and i don't like what I'm hearing. You need to tell me what happened."
"What is everyone saying about me Cass?" I wasn't going to tell anyone about last night.
"Well..." She didn't want to tell me but i needed to know what everyone was saying.
"Please Cass, i need to know?"
"Well, Ok. Just so you know, i don't believe what's been said. Mike's telling everyone that you slept with him at the party last night and that you've been sleeping with him for a while. Also he's said that you haven't just slept with him."
"Has everyone heard that? Is that why everyone's staring at me?"
Cassie just nodded her head. "There all calling you a slut and a hoar and things like that. I was even asked if i knew how many guy's you'd slept with." I was close to tears at this point and i could see that Cassie was at the same time.
"I don't know what to say to that. How can i deny it? No ones going to believe me, they'll all take Mike's story." I was crying now and i couldn't stop the tears from coming.
From then on everywhere i walked a name would be shouted out at me or i would see slut written into my locker or my car. The only thing that could help was the cutting. After that first accidental time i started thinking and decided to get one of my disposable razors and put them in padding in a box and hid it in my room. When i got home after school i went straight to the box and took out the blade. I started to self-harm that day and i have had to do it at least once a day since that first day. I managed to keep it a secret for a year, i only wore long sleeved t-shirts and bought thin bandages so they weren't noticeable. My arms were tender because of all the cuts that ran up and down both my arms, so i had to be careful that i didn't knock then. The comments continued and new questions started about why i always wore long sleeves but since i ignored everyone but Cassie anyway it didn't make any difference to me. Cassie didn't ask but i could see she was worried about me. One day though i was in school and Cassie was walking on my right. I had made a new cut the day before and i obviously hadn't put the bandage on properly because the next thing i knew Cassie had stopped and was staring at my right arm which had blood running down it. "Bella, your arm's bleeding, what happened?"
"It's Ok i cut my arm last night the bandage must have come loose." I was trying not to panic and i walked into the nearest bathroom to sort it out. I hoped Cassie would carry on to class but instead she followed me into the bathroom and wouldn't leave. I went to go into a cubicle but Cassie stopped me, " I'll help you." Before i could stop her she pulled up my sleeve and i heard her breath catch. After that she just helped me to re-bandage the cut,i was expecting her to carry on to class but instead she took my hand and took me to the main office. She talked to the secretary and then she carried on pulling me into the head mistress's office. Once we were in the office she told her about what had happened and before i could stop her she pulled up the sleeve on my right arm and showed her my scars and the newer cuts. Needless to say the head mistress wasn't happy, she called my parents in and after that it only took them a coupe of months to get fed up of trying to stop me. They took away my blades and my money so i couldn't buy anymore. Then when i started using other things in the house to make the cuts they locked away anything that had an edge sharp enough to cut skin. Then when i was still managing to cut myself, boarding school was their solution.
Thats my story, when Saturday came i was packed and ready to go. I still didn't want to go but my parents were adamant that i was going and to make sure i got on the plane they drove me to the airport and stood with me until i was seated on the plane. They also had someone from the school waiting with a taxi at the other end to make sure i made it to the school.