there are things that i cant explain… like why a sunset is beautiful or why i was even on the train that day. my name is Kakashi Hitake, and I live in Tokyo, I'm a architectural planing student at T university. that day it was raining and as cliched as it sounds my mood reflected the weather. i had just been taken off a major project, and my slot was given to one of my underclassmen. pathetic i know… and while wallowing in my self pity i boarded a train bound for the opposite direction of my home and i sat my sorry self on one of the not so comfy seats and sighed as the train rocked side to side. the clacking of the almost soothing me till the massive shuttle came to a halt at a stop.
"Ikebukuro station." the automated voice said over the speaker. people got off and some flood back on… its not many since its a school day, and its raining. that's when i met him… he was getting on the train he stood out among the other people. his hair bright blonde it looked natural, very unlike my bleached white. His eyes were blue, and he wore a rather beat up looking raincoat. his pants were baggy, and ill fitting and so was the coat. he had a simple teal and black messenger bag over his shoulder and ratty beauty sneakers. he shivered and shook off some of the water from his hair and plopped down in the seat across from me. there were bright orange ear buds stuck in his tanned ears and his lips were moving, singing some song he was listening to. i was apparently staring too long. our eyes met and a grin spread onto his face, it scrunched up his nose and showed off his straight white teeth. he pulled one of the buds out of his ear.
"yes its my natural color." he said suddenly, it took me a moment to register that he had actually spoken. his voice was nice. a clear tenor tone with bit of what my colleague Iruka would call 'smokey-ness' around the edges.
"ah… what?" i so eloquently replied fumbling over my tongue.
he gave a little chuckle that was quiet and strangely more than a little musical.
"i'm naruto. Naruto Uzumaki. nice to meet you." he said. i blinked and swallowed.
"Kakashi Hitake." i replied. he hadn't stopped smiling since the first grin but some how it seemed warmer now.
"its a pleasure Hitake-san." he said a little bit of a vulpine edge coming into his grin. "so where ya headed?" he across the way to sit right next to me.
"i have no clue. i just got on the JR line." i replied the confession startling me a bit. i never talked to people on the train, not even people i knew. call me a prude but i don't like to broadcast every detail of a conversation to everyone around me.
"really? I'm headed to Shinagawa." he replied. "my uncle lives around there." he added. i didn't reply. he glanced at me as i stared at my hands.
"you look lost Hitake-san." he said. "whats wrong?" in my humble opinion i should have known right there not to get any more involved with him… but the question seemed so genuine. "ah… yeah… I'm sorta at a crossroads," i replied.
"yeah? how so? you look like a guy who knows what he's doing." he said.
" god i wish… i really have no clue any more… I'm an architect student at T university and i just got taken off a huge project, my slot was given to an underclassman and I'm on this train because I'm sulking like a child." once the first few words managed to come, there was no stopping the rest of my story. and he listened to me. nodding and such sincerity in his eyes.
"i know… maybe this'll here you up!" he said rummaging in his backpack he pulled out a small strip of paper and i watched as he folded it into a paper star. he handed it to me. and i blinked at the orange little star that sat in my palm.
"if you fill a jar with 1000 of these, they say any wish you make will come true." he said. i glanced at him. he looked like he honestly believed wholeheartedly in what he had just stated. i stared at the star in my hand. the train stopped and the voice called out that we were at the Tokyo stop. i stood and he did too.
"i hope your day is better Hitake-san." he said i nodded and walked away there was a small bump against my back as i stepped off the train i turned as the door closed and saw the blonde standing holding my wallet. his eyes were mocking me and he stuck his tongue out. i was stunned and i glared at him slamming my fist against the door as the train hissed getting ready to move. i moved away from the door and ran down the train trying to reach a door that was open still. i found one and slipped in running between cars i dodged people and tried to remember what car i had been in. i spotted him in that ratty coat his hood pulled up i approached him and tore it off. only to find an old looking raged man under it.
"where is the man who gave you this?" i asked. he blinked up at me and shrugged
"h-he went that way man!" he pointed towards the next car. i moved through and spotted him he looked shocked. i narrowed my eyes and crossed the car.
"you little bastard gimme my wallet." i growled. he smiled sheepishly at me.
"he giving you trouble Naru-chan?" a large brunette asked standing in front of me. his breathe smelled foul like cigarettes and vinegar. i glared at him.
"i have no business with you. that kid took my wallet. and i will get it back. if he hands it over i wont contact the police." i all but growled. and this man didn't take nicely to being growled at. there were no others in this last car but me and the two men. the brunette scoffed at me.
"sure man… naru-chan give him his wallet." he said.
"but kiba!" the blonde protested looking more than a little scared.
"i said give it back." the brunet, kiba, growled. the blonde handed me the wallet and i checked for all my cards taking my eyes off the kiba character for only a moment. next i knew i was on the floor and my face hurt like hell. the two were arguing and the blonde cried out after he was hit with the back of the others hand. he plopped into a seat quietly after that. the brunette walked over to me again and kicked my shoulder roughly.
"you are some idiot." he said to me.
"im feeling nice today so i'll give you this shitty thing back. " he dropped my wallet on my chest. my head was throbbing and his voice sounded like he was speaking through a straw. the train stopped and the brunette got off. the blonde knelt next to me and placed another small star on my chest next to the wallet. then i passed out, next thing i knew i woke up in a hospital. my roommate Iruka sitting next to me.
"oh thank god!" he cried when i looked at him.
"Kaka what happened to you?" he asked his voice made my head throb.
"i was pick pocketed and tried to get my wallet back and apparently i got punched in the head." i replied with a groan as i sat up.
"do you remember who it was?" Iruka asked.
"no Iruka…. i don't." i lied.
"oh! someone left these for you." Iruka said holding up a half full jar of small paper stars. i frowned.
"did you see who left them?" i asked Iruka shook his head his pony tail bouncing. i sighed relaxing back into the bed.
soon Iruka left, he had to go and finish a few projects, and i had shooed him out with promises that i was fine. it was about 5:30pm judging by the clock on the wall when there was a soft knock on the door. i glanced at the door and felt a hurricane of emotions. shock, fear, anger, and oddly relief. the blonde little theif stood there in the door way his face bruised and lip split one of his arms was in a cast and he cradled a bag of colorful stars. he looked ashamed his black eye adding to the whole look.
"why are you here?" i asked. he fidgeted and walked over to the jar. silently he emptied the bag into the jar and sat in one of the chairs. mumbling something quietly as he produced a small stack of the little strips of paper.
"what?" i asked. "speak up." he paused in his folding and looked up at me.
"what would you wish for?" he asked. dropping another star into the jar.
"what?" i asked.
"I'd wish that i could start over…" he said.
"i don't want to be how i am. im sorry you got hurt… you should have just cut your losses." he said. i was amazed. not with how he folded the stars but with how he sounded. i cant even describe it. he seemed so sure. like he almost blamed me for my own injury.
"and let you fuckers get away with stealing from an innocent person?" i asked my voice raising. he flinched and paused staring down at his hands that continued to fold the stars.
"….im not wrong… you wouldn't have ended up hurt." he said. i glared.
"leave." i said and he looked up at me.
"I've got nowhere to go." he replied.
"go back to your pimp or whatever." i growled. he frowned.
"he's not my pimp…" he huffed pouting for a moment before wincing and sucking on his swollen lip.
"i don't care! get out! NURSE!" i called and he panicked standing he slapped his good hand over my mouth the stars he had accumulated in his lap spilling all over the floor and the bed.
"p-please…. no." he begged. his eyes desperate. i glared at him and pulled his hand away from my mouth. "leave." i growled
he whimpered but turned away from me. tripping over his own feet he managed to get out of the room.
three days later i was back on the train, riding to school. and i saw him again. that blonde Naruto. he still looked like shit he had more bruises and he was looking for me. he sat down across from me. he handed me a plastic bag full of the little stars. i glowered.
"why the hell are you doing this!?" i exclaimed. he flinched as the other people in the car looked at us. "i….i wanted to make up for what happened." he said.
"and this and pick-pocketing are all im good at…" he added. for some reason this pissed me off even more. the train stopped. i grabbed his good arm and dragged him out of the train and out of the the station. he had to nearly run to keep up with me. i finially stopped at an alley shoving him aginst the wall.
"what do you want!" i yelled at him.
"why did you even talk to me?!" i asked. he stared up at me like a frightened little mouse.
"i-i-i… you looked so sad…. i wanted to talk to you…. i-im sorry…." he said tears filled up his large eyes and then they spilled over bruised cheeks. that struck me right in the center of my chest. i hate when people cry, its messy and it hurts not only them but me too. i pushed my hand through my hair and frowned, sighing.
"l-look don't cry…" i said. he hid his face in his hands. all he said was the same thing over an over again. "im sorry" just over and over. we were close to my house still. i grabbed his good hand and pulled him with me. it was 7 blocks back to my apartment. he stopped crying by the time we got to the steps of my building. i pulled him up the stairs and opened my door. letting him in. he was quietly sniffing as he stood in the doorway of my home. he fisted his good hand in his shirt and stared at his feet.
"come on in… i'll make some tea." i said. he looked up at me and nodded taking off his ragged shoes he stepped in to my house with a mumbled
"im coming in." i pointed him to the low table in my living/dining/office room. i turned on my electric kettle and pulled out my can of instant tea pouring enough in to two cups. i glanced over my shoulder to find him staring at the half full jar of stars. he looked a little happier. he was folding strips of paper into the stars again. adding them to the jar. i placed his tea on the table.
"why do you do that?" i asked. he looked up at me like it was a ridiculous question.
"well…. my friends taught me how to do this, and I want my wish to come true." he said droping a few into the jar.
"why?" i asked. genuinely curious. i sipped at my tea. eyeing the jar.
"because i cant do it on my own…." he said sounding so pathetic. but he looked so happy as he looked at the jar.
"teach me…" i said. he blinked at me.
"what?"
"teach me how to make 'em." i clarified. the grin i received nearly took my breath away.
after that he showed up at my place a lot. he got a steady job with the landlord, doing little things for the old lady tsunade. the jar of stars sat on my bookshelf still only half full we had stopped putting stars in it. he seemed happy. it was a night about 3 months after our faithful train ride. he stopped by my apartment teetering on his feet his face flushed a dark red. a goofy grin on his face.
"im drunk." he stated.
"tsu-baa said to go sleep up here cuz her and the old man wanted privacy…" he said with a hiccup. despite his slight size i have to keep reminding myself he is in face 23 only 2 years younger than me.
"fine come in." i said and he did.
"im coming in!~~~" he all but shouted. i was glad the neighboring unit was empty.
"naruto… shut up." i told him.
"muu!" he replied flopping down onto my futon. wriggling out of his sweater and his jeans. i sighed looking down at him lying in his briefs and loose teeshirt made for a man at least twice his size.
"muu?" i asked.
"MUUUU~~~~~~~~~~" he replied happily.
"idiot…" i huffed and moved him over with my foot.
"don't lay on my side." i said. he rolled over onto his belly sticking his rear in the air. i've gotten used to his interesting personality. but at that moment… he looked rather cute i couldn't resist. i brought my hand down on his rear and he whimpered. i paused and froze…
"what was that?" i asked.
"you touched me… s'not my fault." he said pushing himself up.
"i like you ka'shi-tan~~" he said his slurring butchering my name. he crawled over to me and nuzzled my shoulder.
"i like you to naruto… now lay down and go to sleep." i said swallowing.
"but i really really like you kakashi~" he hummed his breath rushing over my neck. it was followed by his tongue and lips. admittedly it caught me off guard.
-
i was way past shocked when his small rough hands squirmed under my shirt.
"ah… Naruto what are you doing?" i asked. he hummed and wriggled his fingers against my stomach.
"mmm~~~ your waaaaaaaarm." he hummed wrapping his arms around my waist he slid down my side cuddling my hip he suddenly fell asleep. i blushed glancing down at the blonde boy sleeping against my hip. my sleeping pants were tented slightly. i frowned.
"you…aaaah…" i huffed moving him to lay on the futon. i slipped into my bathroom sliding down the door. that idiot, hell im an idiot too. i slid my hands into my pants. touching the issue the dumb drunk blonde had caused. my thoughts slipped away into the land of fantasies. what if naruto had continued? my mind ran with that one imagining his hands on my cock. maybe his mouth, or that little hot tongue. needless to say i came very fast groaning loudly in my small bathroom. i sagged glaring at the mess in my hands and on the tile floor.
"im a fool…." i sighed and stood. listen… i am not in the closet at all… but that doesn't mean im out to everyone and their Goddamn brother nor does it mean i will jump into bed with any one who offers…. i have standards… i am a human i want someone who loves me too… fuck im a romantic i guess.
The next morning after a restless night, I woke up to naruto curled up under my desk. my pillow clutched in a death grip.
"naruto. get up." i called to him folding up my futon.
"Nnnnnnuuuuuuuuuuu…." he groaned hissing at the light as he buried his face in his pillow.
"Up. Tsunade is going to come up here and get you if you don't get up…" I said, he grumbled and crawled out from under the table.
"Go take a bath…" I told him, he nodded standing on shaky legs he wobbled in his shirt and briefs over to the bathroom. I turned to the kitchen putting some bread in the toaster. I also took this chance to dress I had to go to class too.
"Mmm…. Kakashi-san… I need help…. I need a towel." I turned and nearly choked as naruto stood there wet and naked his blonde hair sticking to his face. his blue eyes were heavy lidded and I found something interesting, despite his age he was mostly hairless. and he was tan all over.
"Ah… yeah… right…." I replied turning away my face was hot. I grabbed a towel from the cupboard, and turned to hand it to him to find him bent over leaning against the doorway picking at his foot his back facing me. thats when I noticed the little tattoo. A small fox curled on his hip. it was just an orange outline bright red eyes. apparently when i look at things like that i have a tendency to reach out and touch. he shivered, and glanced at me over his shoulder.
"he has a name!" he chirped. i stared at him dumbly. "the tattoo." he clarified.
"oh?" i asked curious.
"yeah, his name is kyuubi. he's named after my older brother…" he said his smile falling slightly.
"thanks for the towel." he said taking it and retreating into the bathroom again. i was left standing there till the toaster popped. it made me jump, as usual.
soon we were both eating naruto was dressed in one of my sweaters and his own pants. his clothes were in the small basket next to the door along with the other dirties i had accumulated over the past few days. he had demanded that he take care of my laundry since i let him stay over and fed him. after finishing out breakfast we left my room, he went to the landladies building to do laundry and waved to me as i left.
we lived like that for almost 3 months. that stifling sexual tension only got worse. it started to get to the point where naruto was almost living at my place. it was the middle of winter one night, i was working on some things for classes and he was laying under the kotatsu table eating oranges.
"kakashi-san…" he still used the honorific.
"yeah?"
"do you have a girlfriend?" he asked. this honestly struck me. a few weeks prior he had come over as one of my sex friends, minato, a sempai of mine and i were cleaning up after some heavy debauchery of the sexual kind. minato and naruto had practically run into each other as minato was leaving and naruto was coming. it was rather embarrassing when they started to talk. and naruto asked if minato was "hanging out with kakashi-san too?" and even worse minato told the other that "nah he's all yours im done with him seems like he doesn't need me since he's got you!~" i was very close to killing the taller longer haired blonde.
"what brought this on?" i asked. he looked up at me chewing a piece of orange very thoughtfully.
" I was just wondering… you never have any one here… except for minato-san… and you don't go out. I just think its a waste." he said. rolling onto his back.
" a waste?" i asked.
"yeah… i mean you are a very attractive guy…" the blonde said. "and i don't see why you don't have women lining up at the door. i don't even see why you hang out with me." he added. i blinked turning from my work to face him.
"naruto… sit up…" i said he obeyed and looked at me his head tilted to the side.
"what?" he asked.
"im gay… you know that right?" i said. he blinked and then a bright red blush bloomed over his face. it was as tho, every single thing that i have ever done, made sence now.
"t-then is minato-san your…ah?" he asked.
"ha! no… that weirdo is bi… he's chafing some girl named Kushina… he and i use each other… same with me an obito who you haven't met yet… he's overseas right now." i said.
"w-why didn't you tell me sooner!" he asked his voice squeaking. i shrugged.
"you never asked. besides i enjoy your company." i replied looking at my hands. i can tell myself all the time that i can take rejection, mean my own mother rejected me… but… its all a lie.
"w-well… you still shoulda told me!" he said. i clenched my teeth and hands into fists.
"why?" i asked my tone a little crisp. okay thats making light of it…. it was a sharp and accusing syllable. "so you wouldn't have to hang out with a queer? so you could keep your distance? so you could tell that douche that punched me where i was and have him "beat the gay out of me?" all of that sexual tension morphed into pain and fear fueled hatred. before i knew it i was yelling all my insecurities at him.
"no- kasha… i… stop!" he said. standing and backing into a corner as i walked towards him. he looked like a scared little rabbit.
"no." i replied. "i cant take this any more…." i said dropping to my knees in front of him.
"kakashi?" he asked. i stared into his eyes with my own dark grey.
"naruto… i like you. more than i think vie ever liked someone ever." i confessed staring at my hands.
"if you don't like me the same then you should just leave." i added standing i returned to my desk. he was quiet, for almost 5 minuets we were silent. then there was rustling and i felt warm arms around my shoulders.
"im sorry…" he said. hugging me tightly before he left.
my life sort of fell into a rut after that for a few weeks. i didn't leave my apartment for almost a week. my friends, Iruka and Minato, had to come and drag me to classes. as I've said i never really took rejection well. i tried to act like normal. but it was hard… i didn't see him at all after that. tsunade had asked me where he went. i shrugged, trying not to care. i was cleaning once spring came around. i pulled that stupid jar of stars down from the shelf and set it on the table wanting desperately to throw it all away, but i just couldn't… i ended up sitting there and crying staring at the small paper stars. i don't know when i started to do it… but i began folding the little stars. one by one. slowly filling the jar. i made them everywhere i went sitting on the train, filling a gallon sized plastic bag in one day. it was one such day that i was folding the stars, that some one stoped in front of me as we rode on the train. i looked at their shoes , old ragged converse with orange laces. i slowly looked at the person. it wasn't naruto instead it was a brunette. he looked sad and he was staring at the stars in my hands.
"are you Kakashi-san?" he asked. i nodded.
"who wants to know?" i asked. he grabbed my hand.
"you need to come with me." he said. dragging me off the train. i squawked as i was dragged out of the station and down the street. he pulled me to a hospital and inside passing a nurse. he took me to a room and stopped outside.
"there was an accident… he's not pretty at the moment… but he told me to find you… well he left a note for you… he's in a coma…" the teenager said. i was confused as he handed me a note written on the back of a piece of origami paper.
kakashi,
I'm sorry. i didn't mean to leave you like that. you told me some serious things. i needed to think. I think I've figured out my wish. i want to be with you kakashi-san. you are important to me. I wanted to tell you this myself… but im a chicken. so here is where im staying. its with my brothers widow…
XX-XX XXXXXXXXX-XXXX
please i want to talk to you.
naruto
i choked after reading the note. why hadn't he given this to me?
"w-what happened to him?" i asked. the teenager frowned.
"he got into a fight with kiba and was pushed off a balcony. he landed okay but smacked his head pretty hard and broke a few ribs and his scapula. kiba got arrested for possession and intent to sell and assault with intent to kill." he said. it made my heart throb hearing this. i swallowed hard.
"can i see him?" i asked.
"yeah. maybe you are what he needs." he said opening the door for me. i walked in my hands were shaking. there was the slow hiss of a re-breather and the low beep of the EKG. he looked like he was sleeping except for the tube shoved into his mouth. i walked over to the bedside and sat in the chair. my hand found his, mindful of the other tubes in his hands.
"….this is so unfair you little idiot…" i groused to him. my voice was thick with the tears and emotions burning my eyes. i was there for what seemed like hours. then the nurse came in and told me visiting hours were over. i stood and left returning home. once in the safety of my room i slid to the floor and the levies broke. i cried for what seemed like the first time since my father died. i fell asleep there at the door only to wake up to my cell phone going off i answered it with a croak.
"yes?"
"kakashi!" minato chirped and that wrung a sob from me. i desperately wanted naruto to call my name again.
"hey? are you okay…" he asked i nodded but remembered we were on the phone.
"yes…." i croaked.
"whats wrong?"
"naruto… he's in a coma…. and he…." i gasped for breath. "he's in a coma in the hospital…. he was going to come to see me and tell me he returned my feelings… he wrote a note…" i whimpered.
"shit…. kasha….. i can be over there in ten…"
"no." i cut him off. "im fine… you stay there with Kushina-san…." i said
"but…"
"thanks for worrying man… but im okay." i said "i'll see you later." and i hung up.
i stayed in bed thinking about the blonde till almost 3 in the afternoon the next day. i was staring at the nearly full jar of stars. before i knew it i was at my table just folding star upon star trying to fold them with out thinking about naruto. i finally knew what i wanted for my wish. it took me another half of a day to finish all the stars. the next day once they were almost spilling out of the top i took the jar and walked with it to the hospital and set it next to his bed. sitting next to him i held his hand.
"hey…." i called to him. "i filled the jar you know…" i said. only the machines replied. i reached for the jar pulling it close to me. i sat letting go of his hand. i reached in to the jar and pulled out one placing it on his chest.
"i don't know how this is supposed to work… you have to wake up so you can tell me how to make my wish." i said probably sounding more than desperate.
"please naruto….." i begged.
i slowly emptied the jar of stars onto him pilling them on hi chest and scattering them over the bed. soon he was covered in a thousand little paper stars.
"… you should see yourself…." i said, "absolutely beautiful…" i added as i looked at him covered in the numerous little colored stars. suddenly there was a beeping sound that escalated nurses came in.
"he's gone into cardiac arrest! i need a crash cart!" they said the stars were tossed aside and fell on the floor they were trampled underfoot and i was pushed out of the room as 4 people were crowded around him.
my own heart fell and shattered on the floor as i was shoved away again as more people rushed into the room. i sunk to the floor. crying and praying he was gunna be okay.
its been three years since then… as i sit here in my office telling you this. i moved to england for a job. i work for a huge architecture firm designing schools and public buildings. i graduated at the top of my class. it sort of amazes me how things went. the little miracle that happened to me… i really cant explain a lot of things in my life… but i know, that wishes really can come true.-
i pushed away from the computer on my desk after saving the document when i felt warm arms that wrapped around my neck.
"what are you doing?" the soft smokey voice of my lover asked his blue eyes looking down into my grey.
"nothing… just working on a little side project." i said as he toyed with the necklace i wore, a little patterned paper star put on a string. he wore one similar.
"oh? what about?" he asked, i smiled.
"trains and stars… " i replied and he grinned.
"you are a romantic dork Kakashi-san." he replied.
"but im your romantic dork." i replied with a smile of my own as we kissed.
"true…. now come to bed…" he said pulling me from my chair. i chuckled as he dragged me to our room in our london flat. he pulled my clothes off as i pulled at his shedding them on our way to the large kingsized bed. we fell into bed shoving the rumpled sheets aside. we kissed deeply and i worshiped his body, he giggles as i kissed my way down his neck and chest, i lapped at one of his nipples and silenced his giggles turning them into moans as i went lower. i suckled on his hip smiling as he threaded his fingers in my shaggy white hair. he was trying to pull me where he wanted me. i relented and licked at his now hard member. he gasped and moaned my name aloud thrusting his hips up as his back bowed. i took the whole thing in my mouth with practiced ease and held his hips down as i slowly swallowed around him driving him crazy. i pulled off slowly dragging my teeth gently against his sensitive flesh pulling a long and loud moan from his throat. once i let go of him he rolled over wriggling his plump tanned rear end making that little fox on the back of his hip move as he reached for the lube under one of the pillows he tossed it at me, and i chuckled.
"don't laugh…." he grumbled his face flushed as he licked his lips.
"cant help it you are just too cute…" i replied slicking up my fingers and dripping some of the clear goop on his lovely little pucker. i slid a finger in gently he was still a little loose from our earlier lovemaking. soon he was moaning wantonly as i was sliding three fingers in and out of him rather easily. i paused and slid my fingers out wiping them off on the sheets then i slicked up my own cock before sliding into him making both of us moan loudly. he had the sheets in a death grip.
his face red as he panted. i groaned and slid out some before thrusting shallowly, finding his prostate i slammed against it hard. and he fell apart in my hands his voice filling the room soon he was spent and we were laying intertwined on the bed.
"i love you kakashi." he said happily.
"i love you too naruto." i replied as i played with the nearly identical star he wore around his neck. thinking 'if not for these damn stars… my life would have been very different'
END