A/N: This one-shot has been moved from Abluvion into the Intermission Series.
This one-shot is dedicated to Mordanyes, the winner of the Bonus Question in Chapter 2 of Abluvion! The request was Klaine obsessing over Harry Potter, and I twisted it around a little bit.
This takes place in an AU of my Abluvion!Universe, where Hermione is publishing the Harry Potter series while Blaine is in McKinley High. He's already transferred from the Warblers to the New Directions, but Klaine hasn't gotten together yet.
Just in case you didn't catch it before, this is not part of the Abluvion!Universe! It was just a fun little one-shot intermission chapter that kind of fit in with the basic plot of Harry-turned-Blaine.
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Harry Potter versus Draco Malfoy
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"Blaine, check this out! It's the newest book by Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! " Kurt said, shoving the book giddily into Blaine's face.
"Harry Potter and the what?" Blaine asked incredulously, grabbing the book. Merlin's balls, he had totally forgotten. Before he had left Hogwarts, Hermione had asked for permission to write a series of books about their adventures at Hogwarts. He thought she meant to write them after the war, but apparently Hermione had a lot of free time on her hands…
Kurt snatched back the book when Blaine wasn't paying attention. Kurt looked at him suspiciously. "You've heard of Harry Potter before, right?"
Blaine waved his hand, "Yeah, Boy-Who-Lived, blah blah blah…"
Kurt looked relieved. "Good, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't even heard of him. My dad, for example, can't understand the greatness that is Harry Potter. When I dressed up for the Prisoner of Azkaban premiere, he thought I was crazy and almost forbid me from going." Kurt propped himself up with a pillow on Blaine's bed.
"Wait, there's movies too?" Blaine asked weakly.
"Of course there are movies, where have you been?" Kurt asked, his eyebrow raised. "They're only international sensations! I swear, Harry Potter has become the symbol for all that is awesome; it's just that good."
Blaine stifled a laugh. "Oh, really?"
"Yes, really." Kurt responded, opening the book. "Now shush, I'm reading."
Blaine shook his head in disbelief. "I have to go do something…" He muttered to Kurt, who didn't seem to hear him. Blaine shrugged to himself and crawled over Kurt, off his bed.
He shut the door to his room gently behind him, and then sprinted down the stairs.
"Dad, Mom, did you know there was a book about me? And movies?" He hissed when he got to the kitchen. His parents looked up from their respective newspapers.
"Of course, sweetie," Cristina said, "They're all over the news." Then she looked concerned, "Why, you didn't give consent to have these published? I could understand why not, consider it's your life and everything…"
"You should be proud!" Everett added, "Did you see last Halloween? There were so many kids dressed up like Harry Potter, it was unbelievable!"
"I was in my room all of last Halloween." Blaine said slowly, "You know, death of my birth parents and everything?"
"Oh honey, I'm sorry!" Cristina said, jumping up to give him a hug. "We didn't mean to bring that up."
"It's okay," Blaine said absently, spotting the front cover of the newspaper that she was reading. The Phenomenon of Harry Potter Explained, the newspaper stated boldly. "Could I see that?"
"Sure, I'll start making lunch. Does Kurt want anything in particular?" Cristina asked, taking her apron off the hook on the wall.
"He might not even be down to eat. He's reading the new Harry Potter book." Blaine said, scanning through the newspaper. After he had finished reading the article, he thumped his head on the table. "Eff my life."
"What's wrong?" Everett asked, not looking up from the sports section of the newspaper.
"Nothing, nothing…" Blaine muttered. He sighed, standing up from the table. "I'm going to see if Kurt has the first Harry Potter book. …God, it feels so weird saying my own name like that."
"Okay, but lunch is ready in half an hour. Tell Kurt that too! The boy's skinny enough without skipping meals."
"Got it Mom," Blaine called from the staircase. He knocked on his bedroom door to warn Kurt of his presence, and then entered. "Hey, Kurt, did you happen to bring the first Harry Potter book with you? I want to reread it before starting the fourth."
"Yeah, it's right here." Kurt mumbled, still focused on the book. One of his hands reached down to his bag and fumbled with the clasp.
"Here, I'll get it." Blaine said, slapping his hand aside. He opened Kurt's bag to find not one, but three books inside of it—Kurt had brought all of the books in the series with him.
Blaine stared dubiously at the cover of the books. He didn't look like that! "Ah well, at least I'm not hideous…" He mumbled.
"Hm? What?" Kurt asked absentmindedly.
"Nothing, keep on reading. Oh, and lunch is in half an hour, no excuses." Blaine informed him. Kurt nodded, but Blaine doubted he had heard him. Blaine shrugged, and then opened up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. He briefly wondered why the stone's name had changed, but brushed it off as some "artistic liberty" Hermione must have taken.
Blaine began reading the book, and he was immediately surprised on how accurately Hermione had portrayed his story. Wow, did she really know that much about him? He was slightly uncomfortable about how she had boldly displayed his life at the Dursley's. However, he figured it wasn't uncommon knowledge anyways, so it wasn't like she was revealing a big secret of his.
The two were interrupted a while later by Cristina knocking on the door. "Blaine, Kurt, lunch!"
"We're coming!" Blaine called back through the door. He snapped the book shut, but not before memorizing what page he was on. "Kurt, you ready?"
Kurt didn't respond, too caught up in the book. Blaine tapped him on the shoulder, but Kurt just shrugged him off. Blaine sighed, smiling exasperatedly at his friend. He leaned in close to Kurt's head and then blew a puff of air into his ear.
"Ahh, Blaine, what was that?" Kurt asked, lurching away from him and grabbing his ear. "You know I hate it when you do that!"
"I know, I know." Blaine said, laughing. "Come on, lunch is ready."
"Now I lost my place in the book…" Kurt grumbled, spotting the Goblet of Fire splayed out messily on Blaine's bed.
"You'll survive. You won't, however, survive it if my mom needs to come back up here because we're not down at lunch. Come on, up." Blaine wheedled, pulling Kurt up by his arm.
"But I was just at the good part." Kurt whined. When Blaine laughed at him, Kurt harrumphed, and stomped down the stairs.
"Kurt, I know Harry Potter is awesome," Here, he smirked at himself, "but you have to save time for eating and sleeping too. You wouldn't want to die before the seventh book came out, would you?"
"Oh gods no," Kurt said, his eyes widening. "Then I wouldn't be able to see how Draco Malfoy grows up!"
Blaine choked on his soup. "Wait, who?"
"Draco Malfoy," Kurt responded, thanking Cristina politely when she handed him a fork. "He's my favorite character—and what's not to like? He's well dressed, he's well groomed, and he's got that bad boy charm going for him."
"Malfoy doesn't have a 'bad boy charm'!" Blaine protested. He saw his parents laughing at him across the table. "He doesn't!"
"Of course he does," Kurt scoffed. "Ask anyone on the streets."
"What?" Blaine sputtered, "Well, Harry Potter is better than Draco Malfoy!" He said childishly.
"Sorry, but I have to disagree." Kurt said calmly, taking a bite of his food. "While Harry Potter is very brave and heroic, and generally amazing all around, Draco Malfoy has more depth."
"More depth?" Blaine repeated disbelievingly. "He's a Death Eater's son! What depth could he possibly had?"
"It's precisely because he was born into such a hopeless situation that makes him so popular." Kurt said patiently, smiling indulgently at Blaine. "And this salad is to die for, Cristina. Could I get your recipe later?"
Cristina nodded, though she was too caught up in laughter to reply. Blaine glared at his parents—traitors. They already knew all about his school years in Hogwarts, including about his rivalry with Malfoy. They probably had already heard about the Harry Potter series too and didn't tell him.
Blaine fumed into his food. There was no way he was hearing this. Kurt, his best friend, was claiming that he preferred Draco Malfoy over him! Alright, so Kurt didn't exactly know that he was Harry Potter, but the sentiment was the same!
"Blaine, are you alright?" Kurt asked when Blaine didn't say anything for a few minutes. "It's just a book, you don't have to get so upset over it."
Blaine opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Draco Malfoy?" He asked again, still not able to get over that fact.
Kurt sighed. He reached over the table to grasp Blaine's hand. "Blaine," He said seriously, catching Blaine's eyes with his own. "Draco Malfoy is hot. I'm sorry, but I can't help who I have a crush on."
No way. No way, no way, no way.
"How about we leave you two boys alone?" Cristina asked, her eyes twinkling merrily. Blaine didn't doubt for one moment that she was going to spy on them from behind the door.
When they were gone, Blaine informed Kurt yet again, "You can't have a crush on Draco Malfoy."
"And why not?" Kurt asked, examining his cuticles. "Really, Blaine, you're acting like you're jealous."
"I'm not jealous!" Blaine denied loudly. "I just… don't like Malfoy."
"Blaine, he's fictional." Kurt said with a laugh. "You're taking this way too seriously."
"I am not!" Blaine shouted. He blushed and coughed. "I mean…"
"Blaine, if it makes you feel better, I like you more than I like Draco Malfoy." Kurt said, smiling indulgently.
"Really?" Blaine asked quietly.
"Yes, really. Now let's go up to your room before I start waxing poetry over Malfoy's lips."
"You've fantasized about kissing Malfoy? Wait, Kurt, seriously?"
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"Blaine, what's wrong?" Brittany asked the next day before Glee practice. Blaine was staring petulantly at Kurt and Mercedes. The two had been squealing over Malfoy, pretty loudly too, for what seemed like hours.
"It's nothing, Britt." Blaine said with a sigh.
"Not a fan of Malfoy, I see." Sam jumped in to the conversation. He eyed Kurt and Mercedes. "I myself don't see the attraction. I think Victor Krum is a lot cooler. He has this awesome accent, he's a really good Quidditch player, and he ends up with the girl."
"Krum is okay…" Tina chimed in, turning her chair to face them. "But don't you think the Weasley twins are so much hotter? Think of it, two redheads for the price of one. It's a win-win deal!"
"Is that a hint that you want a threesome?" Mike Chang asked dubiously from next to her.
"No, of course not." She hastily corrected. Then she paused, "Well, maybe…"
Blaine burrowed his head into his hands. "Why doesn't anyone like Harry Potter these days?"
"Well, he's kind of the main character," Sam said slowly, "and it's kind of against the rules to have the main character as your favorite. Like, everyone's a fan of Harry Potter, so it just seems fairer to like a different character more. See what I mean? The dude already has the entire series dedicated to him, so it would be unfair that his fan base would be the largest as well."
"That makes no sense!" Blaine exclaimed, "If he's the main character, shouldn't his fan base be the largest?"
Kurt and Mercedes moved over to join their little discussion. "Blaine's been upset over this for the entire weekend." He informed the other Glee members. "He doesn't like the fact that Draco Malfoy is just hotter than Harry Potter."
"You can't argue with that, Blaine." Tina told him, "It's basically a fact. Especially with Kurt—I don't think I've ever seen him this crazy about anyone before." Blaine's frown deepened as the conversation continued on.
"And blonds are generally more attractive than brunets." Mercedes added, heedless of Blaine's growing frustration. "Right, Kurt?"
Kurt nodded emphatically. "And what's more important, Malfoy reminds me of myself. And you always have to root for yourself in books."
"Though if you say that, Kurt," Tina said slowly, "then you wouldn't be able to date him in the case that you ever met."
"True," Kurt said, tapping his chin with a finger. "And I wouldn't want to miss out on that opportunity if it ever came."
"I think you two would look fabulous together," Mercedes said slyly. "Especially if you kiss. And I'm sure you will—you can't have a boyfriend that hot and not make out with him."
"So true," Kurt agreed. "Our make-out session would be so hot."
That was the last straw. Blaine growled lowly to himself, imagining Kurt and Malfoy kissing. What he did next he would later blame on that pit growing in his stomach as the image continued to taunt and tease him.
"Kurt?" Blaine called out, waiting until his friend was looking at him. Without a warning, Blaine stood up slightly in his chair and caught Kurt's lips with his own. Kurt gave a muffled squeak in surprise, seemingly at a loss of what to do as Blaine deepened the kiss. But surely enough Kurt's eyes shut closed as he began to press back. Blaine smirked into the kiss. Take that, Malfoy.
When they broke apart, Blaine finally noticed the cat calls and leers they had attracted from the rest of the New Directions. He blushed, embarrassed, as he took note of where they were.
"So does this mean we're dating?" Kurt whispered into his ear, ignoring the squeals of the girls surrounding them.
"If you want to," Blaine said nervously. It just hit him that he just kissed Kurt. Kissed him! Without asking for permission or giving any hint of his feelings or anything! However, if that kiss had done one thing, it had cleared up Blaine's feelings towards Kurt. Yep, this was definitely attraction of the romantic sort.
Blaine fidgeted anxiously in the moment of pause before Kurt spoke again. He didn't have any reason to worry, though, as Kurt grabbed his neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss.
"Of course I want to." Kurt said with a grin, slipping into the chair next to Blaine's. He threaded his fingers into Blaine's own and leaned towards him. Seeing that, the girls in the room all went "Awww…" in unison, causing Kurt's grin to widen even more.
"So… no more talk about Malfoy?" Blaine asked, well aware that he was already playing the role of the jealous boyfriend.
"No," Kurt responded. "Besides, I've always likened you to Harry Potter, and you know what they say about him and Malfoy."
"What?" Blaine asked, clueless.
Kurt kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "They belong together."
Blaine didn't even get the chance to be indignant as Kurt gently squeezed his hand. Blaine sighed softly, and squeezed back. Ah well, someday he would have to correct Kurt of that notion. It wasn't Harry and Draco who belonged together, it was Harry and Kurt.
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A/N: Wow, that was so much fun to write! Though I really wish I would have edited more, but I don't have the time right now…
I repeat, this is not part of the Abluvion!Universe. While Blaine is Harry Potter in this fic, and he does go to McKinley, this isn't part of Abluvion.
I'm planning a continuation of this fic where Kurt finds out the truth. I don't know when it'll be posted, though. Maybe during Winter Break? Of course, if I say that I'm going to write everything during Winter Break, it's probably not going to happen... I'll try!