Note: This was written for the yj_anon_meme over at Livejournal in response to the prompt of "Superboy/Robin; Someone said kiss him and so you did." (If you're unfamiliar with the meme, there is a lot of fic to be found there, so just google it.) I apologize for the use of second-person as I know a lot of people hate it for some reason, but I started thinking of this in that POV and it just stuck. :( Please give it a chance.
Kid Flash is the one who finally catches you looking. "Look, Supes," he says one day as the rest of the team filters out of the room, slinging an arm around your shoulders. "I know they didn't exactly teach you social graces in that pod of yours, but it's generally considered creepy to stare at someone like that all the time." You glance at M'gann's retreating form, but he continues, ignoring your look.
"It's only okay if you make a move. You know, show him that you're not a stalker."
You open your mouth to tell him that you don't know what that is, or what he means, but he starts talking again. "Trust me, dude, I've had a few too many awkward sleepovers with Robin to know he wants it," Kid Flash says with a suggestive grin.
"Wants what?" You ask, still confused.
"Seriously, Supey, just kiss him."
You fix him with one of your patented stares. He claps you on the back and with a breeze, he's gone down the hallway, calling out after M'gann.
It's creepy to stare at someone. You wonder how long you've been doing it without noticing. You wonder how Robin feels about it. He wants it.You wonder what it would be like to kiss him, like in the movies M'gann (and Kid Flash) likes to watch. A few minutes later, when you rip a banana off of the bunch for a snack, you end up with a handful of mush and an empty stomach.
The next day, the team is watching a movie. It's nighttime and the lights are dimmed to prevent any glares on the screen (at least, that's what Kid Flash had said). The mission that afternoon had gone well, and even though you're all tired, Robin had just gotten the DVD that morning. It's a blockbuster, whatever that means, and he had to preorder it months earlier to get it on time. M'gann wanted to see it as well and then Kid Flash had jumped on board, so when Aqualad asked you if you would watch it with them all, you had agreed.
Now you're squeezed against the arm of the couch with Robin next to you, the edge of his cape slightly draped over your thigh. Next to him is Kid Flash, who's currently trying to get his arm around M'gann without her noticing. Artemis and Aqualad are in armchairs on either side of the couch, Artemis preferring to stay as far away from Kid Flash and his flirting as possible.
Robin has the bowl of popcorn on his lap and you try not to look at his legs when you reach down to grab some. Your arm knocks into his when you do. You're too close and your arms are too big, so much bigger than his, and it makes you feel clumsy and out of place. When, twenty minutes into the movie, your arm jostles his into spilling some of the popcorn, your face burns. "Sorry," you mumble.
"Don't worry about it," he says, reaching between his legs (muscles still visible even in the shadows, you notice) to pop some into his mouth.
An hour later, the man and the woman on the screen are kissing. You wait for it to stop, but it doesn't, it just gets more intense, so you look away, switching your gaze to Robin. It doesn't make you feel any less awkward. Within a few seconds, he catches you looking. He makes eye contact and smirks. You flush, again, and look back at the screen, where they're still kissing. You spend the rest of the scene wondering what it would be like to do that to Robin. When the movie ends, you're still embarrassed and you retreat moodily to your room.
The next weekend, the team is back at HQ. M'gann and Kid Flash are in the kitchen burning anything they can, Aqualad is in the den reading, Artemis is training, and Robin isn't in sight. Aqualad watches but doesn't say anything when you rise from the couch and leave the room.
You can hear Robin walking, three hallways away. He's wearing his costume, if the rustling of his cape is anything to go by. You can even hear his breathing, steady and quiet. He may have been trained by Batman, but that doesn't mean much when you have the hearing of Superman. You follow the sounds of him walking until you see him at the end of a hallway.
You make your way to him, determined. He turns to greet you as you come closer, giving you a slight wave and a "hey, Supey." Then you reach him, and for a second you just look down at him, a not-quite-smirk on his lips.
Without a word, you shove him up against the wall (gently, control yourself, don't hurt him) and kiss him. You're holding him up by his cape and the cloth stretched across his shoulders and his feet kick out lightly at your knees in surprise when you deepen the kiss. It's clumsy, because you have no idea what you're doing, but it's assertive. In the back of your mind, you find yourself hoping you don't bruise his lips.
This close, he smells nice, not sweet like M'gann or Artemis, but you wonder if it's his shampoo or just Robin. When you lean down to kiss his neck, like the man in that movie last week, he's breathing hard and you can feel and hear his pulse thundering against your tongue. Suddenly, you're struck with the thought of how fragile he is, even though you know he could kick your ass, tiny feet and super strength aside.
You step back and lower him to the floor, carefully, even if he lands more roughly than you'd intended. You don't look at his face. You just scowl and walk away, quickly rounding the corner and leaving Robin panting and flushed against the wall.
Once he's out of sight, you punch the wall with a growl and you're sure he hears the wall crumble and break against your fist. You pull it out of the hole (fifth this month but first this week, you were doing so well) and head for your room.
You wonder if you hurt him. You wonder if you would have hurt him eventually, if you would have lost control. You wipe your hand furiously against your bedspread, the white dust and flecks of plaster smearing against the black and red S. Your teeth hurt, suddenly, and as you try to unclench your jaw, you wonder what it would be like to kiss Robin without being such a failure.