Hello all! Sorry I haven't been posting. I've been trying to get stories put together and ideas put together so they seem at least somewhat decent. I have a few ideas, and this story was one of them. This will be, like said in the description a series of one-shots about Pudge and company. Now, I'll try to write a lot about the other characters, but I really love the Colonel. He's my favorite character and always has been since I read the book the first time because I love his character and traits, I can relate to him sometimes, and he's great to analyze :D and if you don't like him that much, I'm sorry, but I'm not your writer :(

But also, not only will a lot of these be either about him or at least have him in them, some of them will branch off of my first story Famous Amos. So, if you haven't read that yet, you can if you'd like, but I'm not saying you have to. But if you don't understand something that's going on, you'll probably wanna skim through the story.

This chapter doesn't involve much of that story, except like two references, but it's explained a little, I believe. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first "chapter" to this series of one-shots :)

I do not own Looking for Alaska.

When I came back from Christmas break, my parents had helped me bring a lot of my stuff back to my room. I had taken all of my stuff to get it washed and/or fixed if necessary. They looked around my room, even though it was exactly the same as last year. Though it wasn't the same room, it was identical.

"I hope you had a good break, honey."

"I did, mom." Which wasn't a lie, I got gifts and all the works, but I couldn't help but think of my friends back here. Takumi had gone with Lara over the break, which resulted in the Colonel and I talking about whether or not she was just being kind and sweet to Takumi, or if the MC was in for a wild, Romanian ride.

"He's gonna get some, I can feel it."

"You can feel it?"

"Yeah… haven't you ever had a hunch that a guy was gonna get some?" I shook my head. "Oh, Pudge, you are so young…"

Which was funny for him to say, because technically, I'm a year older than him, despite us being in the same grade.

My mom brought over a suitcase of my shirts, folded nicely on top of each other and packed into the small bag like a can of sardines. She forced me to let her unpack some of my things this time, since now they're used to me being gone and I'm used to both atmospheres. She smiled at me and opened my suitcase. "So where's Chip?"

"Don't know… he might not even be here yet." As I said that, I saw the green duffel bag under his bed. "Oh wait, nevermind, he must be here already… and unpacked."

"Oh, well he's fast. How've they been?"

"They've been good. They didn't do much over Christmas break, I know they stayed at home to celebrate the holidays, just he and Dolores."

"No dad?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath. I knew something about my roommate that my parents didn't, and that was his history with his dad. "His dad's not really… in the picture."

My mom stopped unpacking for a minute, remembering the news on Thanksgiving. "That's too bad," my mom said unpacking my things more and being happier about it than anyone really should've been. She was trying not to focus on the Thanksgiving story and unpacking helped take her mind off it.

My dad glanced at me. He had known about the news just as much as mom had (since the secret, if you could call it that got out during Thanksgiving). I could tell the news bothered him, probably because he was a dad and I guess I'd understand how he felt if I was a father, but for now, I only understand what it's like to be the victim's friend.

My mom turned to put my clothes in a drawer, but it was the wrong drawer. "Mom, no, that's not mi-"

I couldn't reach her in time before she opened the drawer. I closed my eyes and kept to myself so that I wouldn't laugh at her reaction when she saw the drawer. It wasn't my drawer, it was the Colonel's.

At the beginning of my junior year, when I first came to Culver Creek and met the Colonel, Takumi, and Alaska, my drawers were just as neat as they would be once my mother calmed down, but the Colonel didn't care about cleanliness or drawers and what was in them. Drawers were created equal to him, just like mankind.

She looked at the drawer and back at me. "Miles Halter, what is this?"

"Mom, that's not my drawer."

"Then, whose is it?" Just as she asked that, the Colonel opened the door.

"Hey, Pudge, I see that you're back. Have you seen my ci-" He saw that my parents were there in the room and he fell silent. "Uh, am I interrupting something?"

"No, no, no, you're not. Mom, my drawer's the one over there." I rushed over to the Colonel. "What d'ya need, buddy?"

He followed me as I closed the door. "Did you just call me buddy?"

"Sorry, my mom was about to have some kind of massive, OCD breakdown in there, 'cause she opened your drawer instead of mine."

The Colonel put his arms up in mock surrender. "Oh no, drawers are being opened that aren't poor little Pudge's. Call the police, call the FBI, the SWAT team, fly the flags at half-staff, my drawer was opened."

"Look, you're not exactly neat and tidy."

"Yeah, I also have a deep voice, I'm short, and I'm a genius, nice to meet you again, Miles, thanks for pointing out facts that we already know."

"Glad that appendicitis and that hemorrhaging didn't dampen your sarcasm, Colonel."

We came back and opened the door to our room. My parents were still in there and my mom was just putting my shirts into my drawer. "Hi, honey, glad you're back."

"Hi mom."

"Hi, Chip," my dad said walking up to him and shaking his hand and patting his shoulder. The Colonel glanced at me, giving me a 'what-the-fuck-was-that-for?' face. I mouthed 'I'll explain it later".

"Mr. Halter, Mrs. Halter, glad to see you guys again."

"Same to you; how've you been? I hope you're feeling better," my mom said turning from the shirts for a bit.

"Yep, I'm completely healed and I'm on my last round of antibiotics. Supposed to be done with the entire thing by the end of this week."

"This week? That must've been a pretty bad infection."

"Oh, believe me, it wasn't pleasant, but being on break was good for me. The doctors said I would need to do nothing, but lay around all day. But hey, who's going to complain about that?" My dad laughed in agreement. The Colonel was great at small talk, unlike me. He could hold a conversation with someone about something that was the most ridiculous topic, but he could do it… though, he would eventually lose his patience, unlike me.

"Well, Miles, we gotta get going. We hope you enjoy the rest of the year… of your senior year." My mom sounded like she was going to cry.

"I will; bye guys." I quickly ushered them out before my mom could turn into a puddle of tears, but not before giving them both hug.

"Goodbye Chip."

"Bye Mr. and Mrs. Halter." And they left. The Colonel laughed again, just like he did at the beginning of the year. "You got great folks, Pudge."

"Why are they great?"

"They're so… parenty. It's like how parents should be."

"Your mom's awesome, Colonel."

"Hell yeah she is, but I only got half the deal." He went and sat at his desk. "But I'll live."

I continued to unpack the rest of my stuff when the Colonel walked over to his drawers and opened them to get something. He just laughed under his breath and sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then why did you sigh?"

He opened the drawer further and moved so I could get a clear view. Shirts were folded perfectly and put into four nice piles, one right after the other. I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Dude, your mom just folded all of my laundry."

I turned back to unpacking my stuff, still laughing. It didn't surprise me, but it sure as hell surprised the Colonel. His mom didn't fold his laundry for him (he didn't expect her to at all) and he wasn't going to do it himself, so having something done for him was strange. "That's my mom for you."

"Yeah, like I said," the Colonel exclaimed sitting at his desk, a smile on his face, "You got great folks."