That Darn Horse!

Small fill from the Kink Meme;

Anon wanted something silly about Ezio and his horse.

Disclaimers and all that jazz still apply.


"No, Silvano. Stare!" Ezio told the white stallion for what seemed like the billionth time. Every time he turned his back on the horse for a second, sure enough it would begin trotting behind him, obviously not caring that stealth played a huge role in Ezio's current assignment. Ezio smacked his hand over his face and groaned, turning around again to deal with the animal. And if possible, the assassin could have sworn he was having a staring contest with the stallion.

It had only been two months since entering Roma, wherein he was given full freedom of using any of the available stables to his liking. But Ezio grew rather fond of Silvano, who seemed to be the first to greet him whenever he whistled for assistance. (How that horse always seemed to be near him, Ezio couldn't fathom). Unfortunately, this resulted in the giant brute being rather attached to the assassin's hip wherever he went.

As Ezio tried to walk away again, the horse quickly nipped the back of his hood to try and stop him.

Ezio sighed, and patted Silvano's neck, "Look. I'll be fine. Besides, how am I supposed to breach the French camp with you clopping along right behind me?"

Silvano snorted as if offended, and Ezio chuckled. "Don't take it personally, amico. I'll be quick, I promise."

The stallion seemed to roll its eyes as he finally gave in and settled in his hiding space behind a large shrub.

Finally getting Silvano to stay hidden, Ezio encroached the parameter of the camp and counted seven soldiers total. With his crossbow, he took out the two sentries on the archer platforms, and then hugged the outside of the walls until he neared the entryway. As expected, the soldiers near the gate went over to see to their fallen friend, wherein Ezio quickly sprinted and took advantage of their exposed necks with his dual hidden blades. The assassin turned around to tackle the last three when a cry of 'Assassin!' came from the sentry that had taken one of Ezio's arrows—obviously not wounded enough to keep from shouting.

A battle cry reached the assassin's ears and Ezio cursed as a fresh troop of about half a dozen French soldiers (heavily armored, to top it off) flowed in through the gates, surrounding the Master assassin with long spears pointed, ready to strike. This wasn't looking well anymore. No longer having the upper hand with stealth, he'd have to retreat…if he could get past them, that is.

Just as the general was about to raise his hand to signal the attack, a loud whinny rang throughout the fortress. All heads turned around, but not it time to see a giant white mass barreling straight at them. Ezio quickly took advantage of the distraction by piercing the two closest soldiers with his sword before diving out of the horse's way. Too shocked to properly defend themselves, the soldiers were mercilessly plowed down by the Silvano's giant, yet agile mass.

Too dumbfounded to move, Ezio could only look on at the leveled camp littered with French soldiers, then back to Silvano, who seemed to be doing a victory lap with an exaggerated canter around the encampment. It looked like one foolish soldier tried to get up, but Silvano would have none of that and gave a swift kick to his head, rendering the Frenchman unconscious.

Silvano walked right up to Ezio, head held high, yet eyes looking down over his muzzle at Ezio, as if proving a point. The assassin could only scratch his head before smiling and rubbing the stallion's muzzle. "Alright, alright! You deserve the credit. I'll make sure to get some oats and grain for you. Sound good?"

Silvano gently bumped his head against Ezio's shoulder before the assassin took the task of removing the armor, and strapping it onto Silvano's saddle. As they began to exit the camp walking side by side, Ezio made a bit of a sour face while looking at the battered armor.

"Bartolomeo's not going to be happy about these dents, though." He muttered.

Not missing the comment, Silvano 'accidentally' bumped his hindquarters into Ezio, making the assassin loose his balance and take quite a faceplant.

The assassin looked up from the dirt, and shook a fist at his companion.

"Cazzo! Cavallo stupido!"

Ezio swore, again, that the stallion's whinny sounded an AWFUL lot like laughter as it trotted away.