The lyrics are from "Quiet Night at Home" from Bare. Hope you like it. Twilight is not mine. R/R please!

~*~

My first night off in two weeks. And what do I do? Stay in my room. What a great night off. Its not like I have much of a social life. I used to pretty much just hang out with Sam. Now he's always with the pack. Or Emily. Not with me.

A quiet night at home
Silent night
a joy to pass a silent night at home
A quiet night at home\
All my friends are gone
and once again I find myself alone

It's like this everytime I have off. Its not some relaxing break. At work all I do is hear the thoughts of the pack. Or Sam's guilt. Or people's pity. At night, it's quiet. Too quiet almost. Cause sometimes hearing your own thoughts is worse than hearing others.

a quiet night at home
just me and my good Shepard
He and I Can count a million sheep
a quiet night at home
filling up that time
till finally I get to sleep

At night, alone, he fills my thoughts. A year ago, on a night like tonight, he would have been here with me. How could someone love you so much one day and the next he's in love with your cousin. This whole imprinting thing? I've seen it in his mind, but to me? What difference does it make. I guess the gods must have been wrong to make this happen. Cause if its so great for one wolf…why does it harm another?

a quiet night at home
mothers worried glances
take my hand smile sadly sigh
words of wisdom
talks of ships and princes
soothing sagas laced with loving lies

The pitying glances. The people telling me I'll find a man someday. They think that makes me feel better. All that does is make me feel worse. I don't want another man. I want things the way they were. I want it to be like it used to. Before all of this happened.

Sadness
who me sad?
a quiet night at home
my favorite place
honey it'll be ok
slim down dear things will change
for after all you've such a pretty face

I don't have much to offer a guy. I'm not the prettiest girl here in La Push. I have to keep my hair short so as to keep my fur short. But I was enough for Sam. Guess I wasn't for long. I was just enough to hold him till he found someone else.

a quiet night at home
play my siren song
attracting none my ship just wont come in
clinging to the rigid rock of ages
never ever even get the chance to sin

People are imprinting all around me. If it's such a great thing. Something powerful enough to break my heart, when will it happen to me? Some days, it just feels…hopeless. Like why would this happen to me. Why am I stuck in this never changing body?

passing two productive hours
tearing through a hundred pages
what a tale of star crossed lovers
life is lived on other stages

The world I live in. Who would have thought it existed. Vampires, werewolves. It's a world of fairy tales. Or maybe, more so, a world of nightmares. A world of pain, heartache, death. A world where your own wants and needs must be put aside for the so-called "greater good."

pain adores me
God ignores me
always thinking thinking
sinking never dancing
never asked and asking why
why then never never cry
far too clever
big girl
big girl

But then why dream? I feel like it's pointless. Sam will never return. I'll never change. I'll never that somebody. My own force of gravity. No fairy tale ending for the female wolf. The lone one.

ships and princes
all gone home
alone again
again alone
a quiet night at home
with thoughts of why
a quiet night at home
spent getting by