Untouchable Chapter 1: Version 1: Dormé's POV, a star wars fanfic

" UNTOUCHABLE "

01. VERSION ONE: DORMÉ'S POV

There was always that glint of darkness lingering in his eyes. She was aware of it, she could see it, she was entranced by it. Dormé was also well aware of the fact that her mistress saw it as well, but what bewildered the handmaiden was that Padmé Amidala...ignored it. Whenever Anakin Skywalker would get that certain look about him, that glint in those blue eyes of his, Padmé would turn away and act as if nothing of the sort had just occurred and promptly change the subject.

That sort of thing mystified the handmaiden, as she found herself continually intrigued by that sly smile that would spread across the features of the rather handsome Jedi Knight, and wondered why her mistress had never thought to question the thoughts behind the expressions. It was something, should Dormé ever be in Padmé's situation, would do. What sort of things was he thinking within that complex mind of his to make him look as if he were about to unleash chaos upon the world in the blink of an eye when the initial conversation had to do with nothing of the sort.

Her mistress always spoke of political matters and judging from what he'd said on his part during conversations she was fortunate to be present for, Dormé knew that Anakin detested politics. Being the principal handmaiden of a woman like Senator Amidala, Dormé knew all too well how exasperating it could be for one to hear nothing of politics day after day, as it had been the only thing her mistress ever spoke of. That was, until her mistress was wed to Anakin. When Dormé had learned the truth about them - granted, she had seen something of the sort coming, as the two rather obvious about their attraction when around one another - Padmé had started to open up to her about her forbidden marriage to the Jedi Knight. Dormé found herself captivated by the tales her mistress would tell of their secret meetings and romantic rendezvous at Padmé's lake retreat back home on Naboo. She found herself wanting something like that for herself.

She found herself wanting Anakin.

It was something that troubled her for many months after the initial dream she'd had, where her subconscious mind had placed her into Padmé's role during one of the more recent visits of Anakin's that her mistress had described to her. She was disappointed in herself for allowing herself to start down the path of falling for man who was untouchable. A married man. And not just any married man, but a Jedi Knight who also happened to be married to the woman she'd spent her life training to serve. Oh, what a predicament she was in. At that point in time, the possibility of her being with Anakin was only a fantasy. Something she would allow herself to dream of when alone in her quarters, comforted by the blanket of sleep, and something she would never speak of to her fellow handmaidens. She out ranked them and if they knew...they would look down upon her, and that was a risk she certainly could not take.

Dormé remembered the first day he spoke to her. It was something that became engraved in her mind, something that she would replay on closed lids time and time again. It was during the latter half of the Clone Wars and her mistress had been delayed in her arrival to her penthouse (where she was to meet with Anakin, who'd just arrived back on Coruscant) due to a swarm of paparazzi who'd ambushed her on the flight deck several stories below.

Anakin had been standing out on the veranda, peering over the edge through the hood that concealed his face. The lights from the speeders that zoomed on past reflected off of what little she could see of his face, making that glint of darkness seem more illuminated than normal.

She wanted to tell him that leaning over the edge that far might get him noticed, that it was a bad idea to do so with so many cameras around that could easily point upwards and capture his image, that he was risking everything he'd worked so hard to protect in doing so...but, it was not her place to speak up. She wasn't even supposed to be in this area of the penthouse at the moment. She, herself, had come out of her quarters to see what keeping her mistress, when she'd caught sight of Anakin...just looming there. Like a shadow.

Dormé took a step closer, slowly working up the nerve to speak out of line (with just cause, in her mind), when he'd turned to her and spoke.

"I don't see how she does it," Anakin had said as he moved away from the edge, more towards the center where he was less likely to be seen.

"Does what," Dormé had responded, not quite understanding his statement. Perhaps she would've, if she had been paying closer attention to what Anakin was looking at and hadn't been so entranced by the man himself.

"Cope. I mean to say, how she handles the paparazzi so well. If I were in her situation, I would become quickly annoyed by the flashing of cameras and the constant assault of questions."

"It would damage milady's image to do otherwise."

He'd taken another step towards her then and lifted up his gloved hand to bring the hood down from around his head, revealing those intense blue eyes that he'd been hiding. "Why do you say that?"

"Milady is renown for her understanding, for her patience, for her calm...if she were to loose her temper, especially in front of those with the power to exploit it, she would loose that serene image that surrounds her. While she may be annoyed, may be angered...she does not show it. For it would cost her more to speak up then to remain silent."

Dormé remembered the smile that crossed his face then, the way her looked at her as if he were seeing her for the first time, the way he'd taken another step towards her and opened his mouth as if to say more...and how it all shattered. For, in that instance, her mistress had finally entered the penthouse and whatever more he had to say faded from his mind as he stepped around her and quickly ran to embrace his wife.

How she wished she had something like that.

And now, as she stands near him on the bridge of his star destroyer, she wonders if she would have been truly happy with the life that her mistress had with him. One of constant worry and sorrow, of let downs and regret, of weeks without word or mention... Perhaps she had been better off with her imagination in those days. Yet, she wonders if Padmé would be able to stand beside him now, confined to a suit and helmet that is needed to keep his damaged body alive...after knowing what he did and what he still planned to do.

No, she couldn't have.

Dormé spent a good portion of her life at Padmé's side, and she knew that if it had not been for her untimely death at the hands of rebellious Jedi Knights, that her mistress would be leading the Rebels against her husband, despite her love for him. Because, that was the way her mistress was. It was better for her to forgo her feelings for Anakin--no, Darth Vader--and fight for the general cause, than to give into temptation and through caution to the wind. Padmé could never stand beside him now.

But, Dormé could.

After the death of her mistress, she'd come across someone who worked for the Empire, an Inquisitor Malorum. It was through his research that she learned Darth Vader was really Anakin Skywalker. It was then that she decided to join the ranks of the Imperial forces in order to get close to someone who seemed more untouchable than before. But, perhaps it was the other way around this time.

For now, there was no protocol, no wife or mistress to get in the way, no violations of any kind... And nothing that could make her think less of the being who dwelled behind that dark mask. Even with through that mask of his, she could tell that the glint was still there. Entrancing her more than ever before.

And this time, she intended to ask him just what was on his mind.

TO BE CONTINUED...

AN: This was rather difficult for me to write, as I'm one of those "hardcore Padmé fans" and am very much a P/A shipper. However, I'm extremely open-minded and welcome to new ideas, twists, and turns, and especially love a challenge. Thus, I challenged myself to write this. It's not much, but...enjoy. -

12.03.2006, edited 06.12.2007