This fanfiction was slightly inspired by Avril Lavigne's "Wish You Were Here" and the Script's "Nothing." It isn't a songfic because these songs only helped me a little. I originally set out to make this a one-shot, but why don't you review and change my mind.

It's been six months since Kate and Rick had scene each other.

They were both clearly not cooping well, but they would never admit that.

After their fallout, Castle had gone on a year book tour. He was currently staying at a hotel in LA.

Hotel in LA

They say after a few drinks, you'll forget. But Richard Castle could tell that it wasn't going to happen. He was never going to forget her, no way on earth.

Castle took another sip of the Jameson, and rested his head against the back of the couch. This had become a daily thing. Every night, reality would hit him and the world would come crashing down on him.

"Does she make you happy?" Alexis had asked.

"Yes she does," Castle responded.

He wished he wouldn't have left when she ordered him to. He wished he would have showed her how happy she makes him and kissed her right then and there. But, it's too late now. His happiness is gone forever without her. Why did they make their relationship so complicated? Rick confessed his love towards her and she obviously felt the same way… right? Why else would she let him stay around for so long? Because they were partners? No, no one was buying that one. Now that he thought about he wondered why they denied their feelings so much. Rick knew how he felt now; there was no questioning about it. He loved her. But, it was too late. After all those years of bickering and laughing like normal friends would do, they ruined their friendship anyway. After all those years of avoiding diving into it together, they still managed to ruin it before it even started.

His mind wondered back to six months ago when they had the fight.

"Castle, what are you doing here?" Beckett asked as she let him in her apartment.

"I need to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Well, it's more of I need to ask you something," Rick said.

"Castle…"

"Do you remember what happened after you got shot?" He blurted out.

"I told you before, no."

"When will you tell the truth?"

"I am," Kate stated.

"Really? Because I think you remember it all and that's part of the reason you told me about the walls you built around your heart. Kate, admit it. You remember me tackling you to the ground and you remember what I said to you."

Kate was frozen. She couldn't move after what he just said… it was completely true.

"And don't even try and deny it," Rick finished.

"You're right. I do remember what you said to me."

"You do?"

"Yes, Rick. I do."

"So what does that mean?" He asked.

Kate shook her head, she couldn't do it. "You have to go."

"What, why?"

She pushed him towards the door. "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what anymore? Kate, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Don't come looking for me at the precinct, I don't need it."

"Kate, please. Listen to me!" Rick protested.

"I can't do this. Goodbye Rick," she said before she shut the door in his face.

Beckett's Apartment

Kate still showed up to work everyday, well minus the occasion she had to much pain in her heart and she couldn't handle it. Like today, she had called in sick but she was really crying her eyes out. Beckett would never let anyone see her like this.

Kate's brain wondered off and she couldn't stop it. She thought back to the first time he brought up the kiss. God, why was she so stupid? He implied that she could be happy if she just gave their relationship a chance and she told him to leave. And then Beckett's brain jogged the memory of them on the swings and her explanation of the "walls" around her heart. She remembered when she implied she couldn't have a relationship with Rick until she solved her mother's murder. He was the only one who could help her through it, and she refused to let him in. He was the only one who could get her through this pain she was feeling now, but he is the pain that she made way worse than it ever had to be.

She felt impotent, and feeling like she can't do anything isn't something Kate Beckett feels often. It was almost like there was a hole in her heart. She hadn't felt this way since her mother died, and it wasn't a good feeling. It was beyond that, actually, she felt like she had been shot all over again. This time, the bullet went right through her heart. Kate crumbled to the ground in horrid pain. She didn't know how much longer she could take this pain. She had to go to work tomorrow, and face her friends. They had drifted apart after Castle left, though. Nothing was as fun without him around. Tears poured down her face, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She knew she couldn't, it was only making it worse. She finally let herself feel the feelings she had inside. She wanted him here with her, right now. But, she had already screwed that up for herself and that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, well at all, really.

….

Now,you can see why I originally planed for this to be a one-shot, but I'm not sure. If ended it here I don't think many of you would like me…haha. So, I will continue if I get a lot of reviews telling me so. Hint:I'm a sucker for happy endings. I absolutely hate tragedies and sad stories. So, if I continue… well, need I say more?