(A/N: I have no idea where this plot came from. I think Bella is kind of totally out of character, but it is humor, so that's kind of the point. Enjoy it if you can, because we all know how bad I am at writing humor.)
Stuck
"Hey Leah!" Bella says loudly, running to the apartment's elevator before the doors close. "Wait for me!"
Leah rolls her eyes as Bella steps gracefully onto the elevator, filling the tiny area with her bloodsucker smell.
"Hi Leah!" Bella chirps perkily. "It's me, Bella Cullen!"
"I know who you are, Bella," Leah snaps impatiently. She presses the button for the fourth floor and watches the doors close in front of her.
"Renesmee had a playdate here," Bella states proudly. "I came to pick her up. What are you doing here?"
"I have to meet Seth's imprint," Leah answers with no enthusiasm.
"Oh!" Bella exclaims. "That's nice."
"Mmhmm," Leah mumbles absentmindedly as she glances at the screen that displays the floor number. It's still only on the second floor. Then the screen goes blank, but she can't feel the elevator moving.
Leah watches the screen silently and waits for another five minutes while Bella rambles on about Nessie, Edward, and her perfect life.
"It doesn't take this long to get to the fourth floor," Leah mutters, leaning against the wall.
"Leah…do you think we're…stuck?" Bella gasps.
"Probably," Leah answers, bored.
"I'm ten minutes late!" Bella announces, looking at her watch. "Renesmee must be really worried!"
Of all the people to be stuck in an elevator with, Leah thinks bitterly.
"Don't you have some kind of vampire power that will make the elevator unstuck?" Leah asks, not acknowledging Bella's outburst.
"I've never been this late before." Bella starts pacing around the squished space. "Renesmee must be wondering where I am."
"I'm sure your kid's fine." She's probably happy that you're late. If you were my mother, I know I would be.
Bella ignores her and continues to pace and mutter worriedly.
"Bella?" Leah says. "Bella!"
"What?"
"Do you have a cell phone with you? There's a number we can call to get us out of here." She points to a sign posted on the wall.
"No, I left my cell phone in the car."
Leah hits the palm of her hand against her forehead. "I guess we'll just have to wait, then."
"I guess so."
Leah takes for granted the thirty seconds of silence before Bella starts talking again.
"Leah?"
"What, Bella?"
"Since we're having this bonding time, I just wanted to say thank you for sticking around."
"What?"
"I know it hit you hard when Jake imprinted, because you were in love with him. So I'm glad you stayed in his pack even though your heart was broken again."
Leah stares at Bella, shocked. "I don't know where you got the idea that I'm in love with Jake, because I'm not."
"Well, you act like you are."
"Well, I'm not."
"Fine. Sheesh, I was just saying."
"Next time, think before you speak."
Bella opens her mouth to say something, then closes it again.
Grateful for the silence, Leah slouches against the wall and counts the seconds until she's finally free from the elevator. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…
She gets to forty Mississippi when the doors of the elevator finally open, letting fresh air into the small elevator that smells strongly of leech.
"Bye, Leah!" Bella calls as they walk in opposite directions. "It was fun talking to you!"
"Bye," Leah mumbles.
Next time, Leah thinks bitterly. I'm taking the stairs.
(A/N: Please don't flame me about Bella being out of character. (But if she's in character, please tell me, because I'd like to know.) I realize she's out of character, but, like I said before, that's the point. Let me know if you see any typos, and reviews are love!)