Stiles's POV
Why?
That's all I can think of now.
I'm looking at him, his face is between "I'm going to tear your throat out" and "I'm severally constipated". Or face #13 as I call it. Derek has many faces but lately #13 is the one I see the most. I don't know why he hates me so much. I know I talk too much, and I know I'm annoyingly sarcastic and goofy. Still he doesn't know the real me. He's already decided that I'm Scott's irritating human friend that has no business being involved with werewolves. That I should just wander on home like a good little boy and pretend that my best friend isn't a creature from a Lon Chaney Jr film.
But I'm in too deep now. I know too much and as painful as it is for him to admit it, they need me…he needs me. I've saved his life almost as many times as he's saved mine, I allowed him to stay in my home (not that I had much choice in the matter but still), and he still doesn't trust me. I thought when we were in that pool together, that I spent hours holding him up, saving him from having that icy water being inhaled and flooded into his lungs that he would find some measure of respect and gratefulness…of trust. But no. He still doesn't He doesn't realize that when those words of "I don't trust you. You don't trust me." left his lips that he left a pain so shocking and paralyzing that for weeks it felt like there had been a hole punched through my chest. That I couldn't breathe without feeling the gaping hole in my heart.
I wish he'd see me for who I am and not just as Scott's friend; that I'm loyal to him even though he doesn't deserve it. That I'm loyal to Scott even though he's a shitty friend that is more concerned with his girlfriend then the fact that his best friend has gotten the shit beat out of him. That his father can't look at him without disappointment on his face because of all the lies he's had to tell to keep him safe. That he's failing school because of all the sleepless nights he's had researching the latest problem of Beacon Hills and the nightmares. Oh god he doesn't even know about the nights where I've woken up screaming seeing the face of Peter's nurse. The nightmares where Lydia is dead, Jackson's ripping open my dad because I didn't warn him, where I'm being hunted down by Allison in the woods, where my best friend has finally lost it and is splitting me open just to see what's inside. Scott doesn't know. Derek doesn't know…and he never will.
And all I can think of is why.
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you trust me?
Why don't you ever smile at me?
Why don't you think of me as more than a burden?
Why do you hurt me?
Why do you hate me?
Why don't you love me?
…
Why can't you see me?
Derek's POV
He's looking at me again. I wonder if he knows; knows that I don't hate him.
That I don't mean to hurt him but if I don't I won't be able to stop myself from devouring every single inch of him.
That I think of him as pack and that's he'll never be a burden to me.
That I don't smile at him because if I do and he smiles back I'll never be able to stop.
That I can't trust him because if I do and he doesn't that I'll never be able trust anyone else again.
That I don't like him but love him with every fiber of my being.
…
That I do see you and that you are perfect.