You know, sometimes when you sit around and think to yourself you think of the most random things. That's what I did today. I never even began to wonder why on earth I was thinking, but I was, as I figured out when it was too late. I depressed myself so much once I started thinking. I always do. I guess if I didn't have so many damn regrets, I wouldn't get depressed all the time. Regrets or no regrets, there's nothing I can do now. Come to think of it, that's pretty depressing.
I'm one of those people who sometimes wants to break down and cry when I see something like a person sitting alone in a restaurant, but have too damn much pride to actually do it. You wouldn't know I was depressed if you saw me right now. I look happy and rich, to put it all out on the table. But not one day goes by when I don't think about what I did. It was a stupid thing, really. But what gets to me the most is that I when I cried, I cried out of pure guilt. I never really cared about the poor girl.
It all goes back to my last year of school. I got real close to this one guy, a transfer from Durmstrang. I think his name was John Waddlington, but to tell you the truth I don't remember nor care. I never really liked him. I was forced to like him. He was the hit of the Slytherin house, and there was no way I could compete with this cocky, blue-eyed, brown haired kid that everyone "simply loved". So, I settled with being his "best friend", but only so I'd look good. And I did.
I put up with old Waddlington for awhile, until one day he got on my absolute last nerve. I was just about to tell him so, too, until he said, "Malfoy, I've got a bit of a proposition for you."
I rolled my eyes as usual; Waddlington always wanted to make stupid bets on every damn thing he could. It bugged the hell out of me.
"You know that girl that tripped in the corridor and I helped her pick up her books the other day?" Waddlington asked.
I assumed he was referring to this little Ravenclaw sixth year whom Waddlington had decided to make trip and fall with some charm, then helped her to pick up her books. Waddlington did that to girls. He would act all charming and shit around them, just to see if he could "turn them on" as he said it. I found it sickening, especially when he did stuff like that to shy, quiet, nice girls. It was one of those things that depressed me, but I just had too much damn pride to say anything.
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Why?" I acted impatient with him.
"I wanna make a bet with you, Malfoy. I want you to get that girl to fall in love with you."
"What the hell? Why the fuck do you want me to do something like that?" I wanted to knock the shit out of Waddlington right then, but I knew I wouldn't.
"I want to you to get her to fall in love with you," he said smoothly, "before I get her to fall in love with me. That's the bet."
"And what exactly are we betting on?" I asked, annoyed.
"One galleon."
"You are out of your damn mind, Waddlington. I swear, you are screwed up in the head. You can have any girl in this whole damn school, and you try to get some girl who would never even think you knew her damn name! You piss me off so bad. You know the poor girl will fall in love with you, but you'll never even like her back! It's all a game to you! A fucking game!" I was screaming by then.
"I never knew you were so sensitive, Malfoy."
I hate myself to this day for ever listening to Waddlington right then, but he hit me right where it hurt. He punctured my pride. I sighed deeply.
"Fine. It's a bet."
"That's the spirit, Malfoy. The bet begins tomorrow morning. Nine o'clock. See you at breakfast." With that, Waddlington patted me on the back and started walking out of the room.
"Don't touch me." I grunted.
"What was that?" Waddlington asked as he turned around.
"Nothing, nothing. Go to bed, Waddlington.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep real well that night. I felt so damn depressed it was unreal. I couldn't believe that I didn't swallow my pride long enough to stand up to Waddlington. I was such a coward. I still am, for that matter.
I woke up the next morning feeling worse than ever. Why couldn't I have just told Waddlington right then and there that the bet was off. I would've even paid him his one dollar. Like I said, I'm a big coward.
I walked into the Great Hall that morning only to find Waddlington sitting with the Ravenclaw girl, eating breakfast. I wondered to myself what excuse he had found to go over there and talk to her. Probably some shit about needing help with homework or something.
The poor Ravenclaw girl looked incredibly nervous as she sat next to Waddlington. You should've seen her. She would look away from Waddlington every time he would look her straight in the face. I tried to put myself in her place, but couldn't do it without feeling sorry for her.
Waddlington eventually got up and walked to the Slytherin table towards the end of breakfast. He sat down beside me with a malicious grin on his face. I wanted to hit him.
"Malfoy, this isn't going to be any fun at all if you don't at least make an attempt to participate," he said smoothly.
"I'm participating, thank you. It just shouldn't take me very long to win this bet."
"Whatever you say, Malfoy." Waddlington muttered. "Are you even going to talk to the girl?"
"I will when I feel like it, Waddlington." I responded indignantly. "I'm going to class." With that, I got up and walked away from the Slytherin table and out the doors of the Great Hall. It would just happen that the first person I met in the corridor was that Ravenclaw girl. She was talking with a curly-headed girl that I had seen a couple of times before but couldn't place a name. I overheard them talking about breakfast.
"Let me get this straight- you ate breakfast with John Waddlington?" the curly-headed girl asked the Ravenclaw girl.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Melissa! Yes, I ate breakfast with John Waddlington! replied the Ravenclaw girl.
"And why should I believe you?" asked Melissa.
"Why would I lie to you about something like that?" responded the Ravenclaw girl. She had a sweet voice.
"Reagan, let's face it, John Waddlington would never sit with you at breakfast. No offense or anything, but..."
"I'm telling you, he did! Go ask him!" cried Reagan, but she was grinning. I decided I should help her out in her situation. At least I knew her name now.
"Yeah," I said to Melissa as I walked around the corner of the corridor, "she's not lying. Sorry, ladies, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Waddlington really did sit with Reagan here at breakfast."
Melissa's eyes widened as she saw me walk towards them. Reagan's mouth dropped, perhaps at the fact that I knew her name. Melissa stepped towards me.
"Draco Malfoy, right?"
I nodded. Melissa looked surprised as I admitted who I was, probably because of my reputation as the biggest asshole in the school.
Melissa turned back towards Reagan. "Well, I guess I have to believe you now, Reagan. I better be getting to class. Nice to meet you, Malfoy. With that she walked away.
"Yeah, same here," I called, distracted, to Melissa. I was staring at Reagan, thinking of what I could say to her. Fortunately, spoke first.
"So, you're the infamous Draco Malfoy."
I smiled at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that you quite well-known as a cruel, disrespectful jerk." I laughed quietly.
"I see my reputation proceeds me."
"Yeah, it does. So, tell me two things. First off, how on earth do you know my name?" Reagan asked
"I guess I've just picked it up along the way. What else did you have to ask?"
Reagan looked around. "What did Waddlington want with me this morning?"
I came so damn close to telling her the truth about what Waddlington wanted with her right then, but I didn't.
"He never mentioned anything about it to me."
"Okay then. Just thought that I'd ask. I'd better get to class." She started walking down the corridor.
"Wait!" I called, before I realized what I was saying. I walked briskly up to Reagan. "What class do you have next?"
She looked quite nervous as I spoke to her. I almost told her to relax, come to think of it.
"Um... I have Defense Against Dark Arts. Why do you ask?"
"Well, the Transfiguration classroom is right down the corridor from the Defense Against Dark Arts classroom, so I figured I'd walk you to class...that is, if you don't mind." I turned on my charm. Reagan wasn't a bad looking girl.
"Sure, why not?"
We walked down the corridor together, and Reagan rambled on about random things. I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking about Waddlington and his stupid bet. I was thinking about how if I won the bet, I would get one galleon from Waddlington and a whole lifetime of regrets for breaking Reagan's heart.
As the week went along, I walked Reagan to class every morning, and made sure to say something to her every chance I got. The sad thing was, the closer Reagan and I became, the closer I came to calling off the bet. Reagan was a sweet girl, and I couldn't bear to hurt her any longer. But, as usual, I was a coward. I went along with the bet.
I saw Waddlington eating with her every morning at breakfast, but I knew he had no chance of winning the bet. Reagan constantly complained about him to me. At least we could sympathize with each other on the matter of Waddlington. We had nothing in common other than that.
It wasn't until Reagan actually said something that I realized how much time I had actually been spending with her.
"Draco," she said to me one day as we were walking outside, "I really like you."
"I like you too," I lied as we sat down.
"You're so sweet. I just don't see why people talk about you the way they do."
"I guess people just don't know me." I said. I just couldn't tell Reagan that I didn't like her, not right then. She looked so happy.
"They just don't know you like I do." she said. She looked as though she was about to kiss me when I got up.
"Reagan, I have to go back to the castle." I lied.
"Don't go." she whispered.
"Listen, meet me back here tonight at seven. I have to tell you something."
"Okay." She stood up as to kiss me on the cheek, but I walked off before she had a chance and started walking up to the Slytherin common room.
If I have ever felt depressed in my life, I did right then. As I walked up to the common room, I thought about what I would have to tell Reagan that night. Damn, I just wanted to die right then. Then, as I looked around the common room, I spotted Waddlington walking up to me.
"Well, Malfoy. Looks like you're winning the bet." He had a horrible smirk on his face.
I blew up the instant I saw him. "Fuck the bet, Waddlington! Fuck you too! Do you realize what I've done?" The whole common room was listening now. "I've broken Reagan's heart. She's in love with me right now and she thinks that I love her too. But I don't, Waddlington. I don't love her back. All because of your damn bet."
"Well, if you're going to call off the bet, then I want my galleon, Malfoy."
I hated Waddlington after he said that.
"Take you're galleon." I said as I pulled a gold coin out of my cloak and threw it at Waddlington. With that I walked to my dormitory and slammed the door behind me.
I walked downstairs to the Great Hall at seven o'clock only to find Reagan sitting down waiting for me. My heart sank as I looked at her.
"You still want to meet me outside?" she asked softly as I walked closer to her.
"Yeah. Let's go." I started walking towards the door and she trailed behind me.
We walked outside towards the Great Lake, where the sky looked beautiful, highlighted by stars that shone brightly. I think that I would've felt better had the sky been cloudy and drab. It would've matched the way I felt at least.
"Reagan, I have to tell you something." I said softly.
"Go on." she said, looking concerned.
"Reagan, I wish that you could understand how hard this is for me, and how much I didn't mean to hurt you and all...see, what I'm saying is that I want you to know why I've spending so much time with you lately." I think tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke.
"What are you saying?" Reagan asked, although I knew that she knew what I was saying.
"Waddlington and I made a bet. A bet to see which one of us you would fall in love with first."
The look that spread across Reagan's face could've killed me right then. Tears shone clearly in her eyes. Then she spoke.
"I really did love you, Draco Malfoy. I really did." she cried hoarsely. Then she took off running up the hill towards the castle.
I didn't even try to stop her. I just let her run up the hill until she was out of my view.
I groggily woke up the next morning and walked into the common room, recollecting what had happened the previous night. What happened next hurt worse than a knife being stabbed straight through my heart.
"Malfoy!" I heard some little fifth year call my name.
"What do you want?" I asked irritably as I walked towards the kid. The kid looked quite nervous about talking to me.
"Waddlington told me to tell you that they found that girl you were dating dead in her dormitory room last night. She killed herself."
I stopped dead in my tracks. Icy chills ran up and down my spine. Then, the unthinkable happened. I broke down and cried. I swallowed my pride and bawled my eyes out.
I look back on that day and it still depresses me. What makes me feel the absolute worst is that I never cried for Reagan. I cried out of pure guilt. That still haunts me to this day.
A/N: Depressing, huh? By the way, I'll post more of "The Ultimate Year" tomorrow or the day after that. This was just a sidetrack project. Hope you like it! Yeah, I know it doesn't have anything to do w/ Harry and all, but I just felt the urge to write it.
All of these characters besides Waddlington, Reagan, and Melissa belong to J.K. Rowling.
I'm one of those people who sometimes wants to break down and cry when I see something like a person sitting alone in a restaurant, but have too damn much pride to actually do it. You wouldn't know I was depressed if you saw me right now. I look happy and rich, to put it all out on the table. But not one day goes by when I don't think about what I did. It was a stupid thing, really. But what gets to me the most is that I when I cried, I cried out of pure guilt. I never really cared about the poor girl.
It all goes back to my last year of school. I got real close to this one guy, a transfer from Durmstrang. I think his name was John Waddlington, but to tell you the truth I don't remember nor care. I never really liked him. I was forced to like him. He was the hit of the Slytherin house, and there was no way I could compete with this cocky, blue-eyed, brown haired kid that everyone "simply loved". So, I settled with being his "best friend", but only so I'd look good. And I did.
I put up with old Waddlington for awhile, until one day he got on my absolute last nerve. I was just about to tell him so, too, until he said, "Malfoy, I've got a bit of a proposition for you."
I rolled my eyes as usual; Waddlington always wanted to make stupid bets on every damn thing he could. It bugged the hell out of me.
"You know that girl that tripped in the corridor and I helped her pick up her books the other day?" Waddlington asked.
I assumed he was referring to this little Ravenclaw sixth year whom Waddlington had decided to make trip and fall with some charm, then helped her to pick up her books. Waddlington did that to girls. He would act all charming and shit around them, just to see if he could "turn them on" as he said it. I found it sickening, especially when he did stuff like that to shy, quiet, nice girls. It was one of those things that depressed me, but I just had too much damn pride to say anything.
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about. Why?" I acted impatient with him.
"I wanna make a bet with you, Malfoy. I want you to get that girl to fall in love with you."
"What the hell? Why the fuck do you want me to do something like that?" I wanted to knock the shit out of Waddlington right then, but I knew I wouldn't.
"I want to you to get her to fall in love with you," he said smoothly, "before I get her to fall in love with me. That's the bet."
"And what exactly are we betting on?" I asked, annoyed.
"One galleon."
"You are out of your damn mind, Waddlington. I swear, you are screwed up in the head. You can have any girl in this whole damn school, and you try to get some girl who would never even think you knew her damn name! You piss me off so bad. You know the poor girl will fall in love with you, but you'll never even like her back! It's all a game to you! A fucking game!" I was screaming by then.
"I never knew you were so sensitive, Malfoy."
I hate myself to this day for ever listening to Waddlington right then, but he hit me right where it hurt. He punctured my pride. I sighed deeply.
"Fine. It's a bet."
"That's the spirit, Malfoy. The bet begins tomorrow morning. Nine o'clock. See you at breakfast." With that, Waddlington patted me on the back and started walking out of the room.
"Don't touch me." I grunted.
"What was that?" Waddlington asked as he turned around.
"Nothing, nothing. Go to bed, Waddlington.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep real well that night. I felt so damn depressed it was unreal. I couldn't believe that I didn't swallow my pride long enough to stand up to Waddlington. I was such a coward. I still am, for that matter.
I woke up the next morning feeling worse than ever. Why couldn't I have just told Waddlington right then and there that the bet was off. I would've even paid him his one dollar. Like I said, I'm a big coward.
I walked into the Great Hall that morning only to find Waddlington sitting with the Ravenclaw girl, eating breakfast. I wondered to myself what excuse he had found to go over there and talk to her. Probably some shit about needing help with homework or something.
The poor Ravenclaw girl looked incredibly nervous as she sat next to Waddlington. You should've seen her. She would look away from Waddlington every time he would look her straight in the face. I tried to put myself in her place, but couldn't do it without feeling sorry for her.
Waddlington eventually got up and walked to the Slytherin table towards the end of breakfast. He sat down beside me with a malicious grin on his face. I wanted to hit him.
"Malfoy, this isn't going to be any fun at all if you don't at least make an attempt to participate," he said smoothly.
"I'm participating, thank you. It just shouldn't take me very long to win this bet."
"Whatever you say, Malfoy." Waddlington muttered. "Are you even going to talk to the girl?"
"I will when I feel like it, Waddlington." I responded indignantly. "I'm going to class." With that, I got up and walked away from the Slytherin table and out the doors of the Great Hall. It would just happen that the first person I met in the corridor was that Ravenclaw girl. She was talking with a curly-headed girl that I had seen a couple of times before but couldn't place a name. I overheard them talking about breakfast.
"Let me get this straight- you ate breakfast with John Waddlington?" the curly-headed girl asked the Ravenclaw girl.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Melissa! Yes, I ate breakfast with John Waddlington! replied the Ravenclaw girl.
"And why should I believe you?" asked Melissa.
"Why would I lie to you about something like that?" responded the Ravenclaw girl. She had a sweet voice.
"Reagan, let's face it, John Waddlington would never sit with you at breakfast. No offense or anything, but..."
"I'm telling you, he did! Go ask him!" cried Reagan, but she was grinning. I decided I should help her out in her situation. At least I knew her name now.
"Yeah," I said to Melissa as I walked around the corner of the corridor, "she's not lying. Sorry, ladies, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Waddlington really did sit with Reagan here at breakfast."
Melissa's eyes widened as she saw me walk towards them. Reagan's mouth dropped, perhaps at the fact that I knew her name. Melissa stepped towards me.
"Draco Malfoy, right?"
I nodded. Melissa looked surprised as I admitted who I was, probably because of my reputation as the biggest asshole in the school.
Melissa turned back towards Reagan. "Well, I guess I have to believe you now, Reagan. I better be getting to class. Nice to meet you, Malfoy. With that she walked away.
"Yeah, same here," I called, distracted, to Melissa. I was staring at Reagan, thinking of what I could say to her. Fortunately, spoke first.
"So, you're the infamous Draco Malfoy."
I smiled at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that you quite well-known as a cruel, disrespectful jerk." I laughed quietly.
"I see my reputation proceeds me."
"Yeah, it does. So, tell me two things. First off, how on earth do you know my name?" Reagan asked
"I guess I've just picked it up along the way. What else did you have to ask?"
Reagan looked around. "What did Waddlington want with me this morning?"
I came so damn close to telling her the truth about what Waddlington wanted with her right then, but I didn't.
"He never mentioned anything about it to me."
"Okay then. Just thought that I'd ask. I'd better get to class." She started walking down the corridor.
"Wait!" I called, before I realized what I was saying. I walked briskly up to Reagan. "What class do you have next?"
She looked quite nervous as I spoke to her. I almost told her to relax, come to think of it.
"Um... I have Defense Against Dark Arts. Why do you ask?"
"Well, the Transfiguration classroom is right down the corridor from the Defense Against Dark Arts classroom, so I figured I'd walk you to class...that is, if you don't mind." I turned on my charm. Reagan wasn't a bad looking girl.
"Sure, why not?"
We walked down the corridor together, and Reagan rambled on about random things. I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking about Waddlington and his stupid bet. I was thinking about how if I won the bet, I would get one galleon from Waddlington and a whole lifetime of regrets for breaking Reagan's heart.
As the week went along, I walked Reagan to class every morning, and made sure to say something to her every chance I got. The sad thing was, the closer Reagan and I became, the closer I came to calling off the bet. Reagan was a sweet girl, and I couldn't bear to hurt her any longer. But, as usual, I was a coward. I went along with the bet.
I saw Waddlington eating with her every morning at breakfast, but I knew he had no chance of winning the bet. Reagan constantly complained about him to me. At least we could sympathize with each other on the matter of Waddlington. We had nothing in common other than that.
It wasn't until Reagan actually said something that I realized how much time I had actually been spending with her.
"Draco," she said to me one day as we were walking outside, "I really like you."
"I like you too," I lied as we sat down.
"You're so sweet. I just don't see why people talk about you the way they do."
"I guess people just don't know me." I said. I just couldn't tell Reagan that I didn't like her, not right then. She looked so happy.
"They just don't know you like I do." she said. She looked as though she was about to kiss me when I got up.
"Reagan, I have to go back to the castle." I lied.
"Don't go." she whispered.
"Listen, meet me back here tonight at seven. I have to tell you something."
"Okay." She stood up as to kiss me on the cheek, but I walked off before she had a chance and started walking up to the Slytherin common room.
If I have ever felt depressed in my life, I did right then. As I walked up to the common room, I thought about what I would have to tell Reagan that night. Damn, I just wanted to die right then. Then, as I looked around the common room, I spotted Waddlington walking up to me.
"Well, Malfoy. Looks like you're winning the bet." He had a horrible smirk on his face.
I blew up the instant I saw him. "Fuck the bet, Waddlington! Fuck you too! Do you realize what I've done?" The whole common room was listening now. "I've broken Reagan's heart. She's in love with me right now and she thinks that I love her too. But I don't, Waddlington. I don't love her back. All because of your damn bet."
"Well, if you're going to call off the bet, then I want my galleon, Malfoy."
I hated Waddlington after he said that.
"Take you're galleon." I said as I pulled a gold coin out of my cloak and threw it at Waddlington. With that I walked to my dormitory and slammed the door behind me.
I walked downstairs to the Great Hall at seven o'clock only to find Reagan sitting down waiting for me. My heart sank as I looked at her.
"You still want to meet me outside?" she asked softly as I walked closer to her.
"Yeah. Let's go." I started walking towards the door and she trailed behind me.
We walked outside towards the Great Lake, where the sky looked beautiful, highlighted by stars that shone brightly. I think that I would've felt better had the sky been cloudy and drab. It would've matched the way I felt at least.
"Reagan, I have to tell you something." I said softly.
"Go on." she said, looking concerned.
"Reagan, I wish that you could understand how hard this is for me, and how much I didn't mean to hurt you and all...see, what I'm saying is that I want you to know why I've spending so much time with you lately." I think tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke.
"What are you saying?" Reagan asked, although I knew that she knew what I was saying.
"Waddlington and I made a bet. A bet to see which one of us you would fall in love with first."
The look that spread across Reagan's face could've killed me right then. Tears shone clearly in her eyes. Then she spoke.
"I really did love you, Draco Malfoy. I really did." she cried hoarsely. Then she took off running up the hill towards the castle.
I didn't even try to stop her. I just let her run up the hill until she was out of my view.
I groggily woke up the next morning and walked into the common room, recollecting what had happened the previous night. What happened next hurt worse than a knife being stabbed straight through my heart.
"Malfoy!" I heard some little fifth year call my name.
"What do you want?" I asked irritably as I walked towards the kid. The kid looked quite nervous about talking to me.
"Waddlington told me to tell you that they found that girl you were dating dead in her dormitory room last night. She killed herself."
I stopped dead in my tracks. Icy chills ran up and down my spine. Then, the unthinkable happened. I broke down and cried. I swallowed my pride and bawled my eyes out.
I look back on that day and it still depresses me. What makes me feel the absolute worst is that I never cried for Reagan. I cried out of pure guilt. That still haunts me to this day.
A/N: Depressing, huh? By the way, I'll post more of "The Ultimate Year" tomorrow or the day after that. This was just a sidetrack project. Hope you like it! Yeah, I know it doesn't have anything to do w/ Harry and all, but I just felt the urge to write it.
All of these characters besides Waddlington, Reagan, and Melissa belong to J.K. Rowling.