50 Things Emmett Cullen Is NOT Alowed To Do

1. Call Mike Newton and say that Bella is waiting for him at the edge of the forest.

2. Tell the wolves Mike Newton is trying to kidnap Renesmee.

3. Or tell Edward.

4. Try to catch their reactions on video tape.

5. Say Rosalie's hair told him to do it

6. Use Esme's kitchen as a laboratory

7. Cook with firecrackers

8. Cook period

9. Dress Renesmee up as a fairy princess

10. Tell her to hide if someone tells her to take it off

11. Tell Alice that Bella agreed to play Bella Barbie

12. Hide when Bella runs screaming through the house

13. Think annoying things to bug Edward

14. Have an arguement with himself when Jasper is in the room

15. Streak nude through any public place

16. Go to any of Bella's Friends' houses

17. Adopt a pet

18. Show Renesmee the movie Bambi

19. Tell her it's a true story

20. Juggle eggs

21. Tell Esme that Carlisle cheated on her with Mike Newtons Mom

22. Tell Bella that Edward hates her because she kissed Mike Newton

23. Think about his 'alone time' with Rosalie near Edward

24. Call Edward 'Eddie' just to annoy him

25. Kidnap Renesmee just to feed her sugar

26. Tell everyone at school Jasper plays with dolls

27. Or that anyone else in his family does

28. Duct tape himself to walls

29. Moon people

30. Embarass his family in public

31. Burn Alice's clothes, it doesn't matter what she did

32. Claim he's in an intimate relationship with anyone in his family except Rosalie

33. Play with fireworks

34. Or any other explosive

35. Bite Renesmee's dolls' heads off

36. Tell Jasper he lost his confederates uniform

37. Burn it

38. Burn anyone elses clothes

39. Touch anybodys clothes except his and Rosalies

40. Tell Alice that Jasper ate her most expensive belt

41. Hide her credit cards

42. Fight Renesmee

43. Or Jacob

44. Or Jacob's pack

45. Eat batteries

46. Eat anything other than blood

47. Dress up in a tu-tu

48. Destroy anything

49. Fight inside the house

"Hey Edward? There's no 50" Bella said."I can't think of any" Edward then Emmett ran trough the room dressed in yellow and red spandex yelling "I AM HARRY POTTER AND I'M OFF TO KILL SOME TRASH CANS"They both stared after him. "Well, I can now" Edward sighed, Bella giggled.

50. Emmett cannot claim to be Harry Potter just to crush trashcans while wearin red and yellow spandex