(A/N: Drabble the first! It's set in the same universe as my longer story Comedic Corrosion. Am I the only person to think Sima Yi was not a very well-adjusted kid? Just a thought going from that idea... Oh! By the way, Guo Jia was one of Cao Cao's top advisors early on in the novel.)

"It's so stupid! Everything is so stupid! Cao Cao is stupid, this kingdom is stupid, this war is stupid, strategy is stupid, all the kingdoms are stupid, and the Han is so stupid!" ranted the scrawny thirteen-year-old sitting across from Guo Jia. The boy was flailing his arms so dramatically that Jia was vaguely surprised that he hadn't lifted off yet.

"Heheheh... Is something specific bothering you, Yi?" the strategist asked, moving the inkwell out of the way just in case.

"Oh, nothing... except that everyone is STUPID!"

"Any particular stupid person get on you nerves today?" Jia knew the essay would not be written until Yi got all of the rage out of his system. A moment's pause. Jia could see the boy working out the pros and cons of actually saying something relevant. Finally, he spoke.

"I hate people! I'm serious-- do they think I cannot hear them or what? Am I crazy? I really don't think I'm crazy... They think I'm crazy... She won't talk to me now that they told her..." Yi buried his face in his hands. Jia smiled internally. Mastermind against the world to brokenhearted kid in thirty seconds. It was rather cute.

"Yi... You're as sane as I am..."

"That does not reassure me! And she hates me... and now she thinks I'm plotting against her!"

"Are you?"

"Only a little! I mean... She's nice to me... Well... she was nice to me... I wouldn't plot against her much and I just wanted to know where she lived so I could send her a present but now she thinks I want to murder her in her sleep and eat her soul!"

"What in heaven's name did you do to convince people of that?" Namely the eating souls bit. Yi threatened people with death and torture quite often, but the idea that he was some sort of sould-eating demon was certainly new.

"Um... Well... I might have... like... uh..." Yi mumbled something, eyes flickering over everything besides his teacher's face. Jia surpressed a groan.

"Yi..." Jia stretched that syllable as far as it could go, trying to imbue it with deep disappointment, annoyance, and superiority. It didn't quite work.

"Uh, yes sir?" The boy winced regardless.

"What have I told you about summoning-"

"I didn't!"

"Or talking about summoning demons or any other sort of black magic? You are not going to make many friends like that."

"But I was just going to pick her some flowers! Except that weird man saw me so I had to freeze him, you know? Because he had a sword and stuff and he was drunk and it was late then I got the flowers for Nuo but her brother saw me freeze the guy and he said that meant I was a demon and I don't have a blasted TAIL!" Yi took a shuddering breath, "You know?"

"Ouch. See, this is why I don't do relationships. You need to find someone who's on you level. And I somehow doubt there are very many, if any people like you out there."

"But... but what should I do?" If there had ever been any doubt that the mastermind Jia had been training was still a child, this just erased it. In that one sentence he could hear the pain of a short lifetime of loneliness and distrust. Jia pulled the boy into a hug.

"If they can't deal with who you are, you shouldn't have to deal with them. People are just... stupid like that. You are better than they are, and one day you'll rule them. I promise."

"Rule them?"A slight smirk was forming on the boy's lips, "I like the sound of that... Would I make a good emperor?"

"You would make a good whatever you'd want to make a good one of." That had made very little sense aloud, but the point remained. The smirk on Yi's face grew.

"Even a hero, Master Fengxiao?"

"Bah, heroes. Who is a hero depends on who writes the story. Make sure you control whoever writes it, and you will be the hero."

"Like Daji, had she won," Yi said, softly, a new determination in his voice, "We just have to keep an eye out for dragons; if we can find them and recognize them, we know where to apply ourselves!"

"Heheheh... Precisely. One day, even dragons will cower before you," Jia agreed gently. He wouldn't live to see that day, but he knew it would come.

"And all of those pathetic fools will know their master! Mwahahaha!" Jia could see, for a split second, the man Sima Yi would grow up to be. "And I'd be cool and people would like me and I'd get to wear a cool hat like yours!" Jia grinned. There was still a lot of growing up to be done.