Take the Stairs
tag to 4x17 It's a Terrible Life
As much as he hated to admit it, Zachariah was right. That didn't mean Dean was happy he'd been manipulated like that, but the angel had a point. Dean needed to snap out of his funk, to get back in the game. He had enjoyed this hunt the way he hadn't for a very long time. The mystery, the thrill, the sense of accomplishment.
And connecting with his brother.
His brother, whom he'd rejected and asked to leave.
"Where's Sam?" Dean demanded of the angel.
But Zachariah was already gone.
*****
Smashing the telephone had felt so good.
He couldn't do it anymore. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe he was crazy. But he couldn't ignore this feeling anymore.
He made it to the stairwell and was standing there on the landing trying to decide whether to go up or down – whether or not he should try to convince Dean one more time before he left for good – when a blinding pain seared across his head and brought him to his knees.
He placed a hand on the floor to steady himself and kneeled there panting while the world righted, the pain vanished, and he remembered who he was. Sam Winchester, Hunter of the Supernatural.
He smiled wryly at the thought and moved to sit on the steps, partly to let the memories sink in, and partly because he still didn't know whether he wanted to go up or down the stairs.
Now that he remembers everything... the fights, the pain, Dean's brokenness... he wonders if maybe he should just leave Dean up there in his fancy office with his normal life. Sam of all people knew what it was like to long for normal.
Dean was obviously happy, he didn't want to listen to Sam telling him that they were meant for something else. He wanted what he had here. Not their real life. Not Sam.
But the last few days had been awesome. Working as a team again. Having each other's backs, working through problems, cracking jokes. It had been like it was before.
But could they ever get that back?
At this point, the only thing holding Sam back was the fact that he didn't know why Dean couldn't remember. He didn't know if Dean was in danger from whatever it was that had taken their memories and given them false ones.
But maybe Sam could just figure out the threat and get rid of it alone. Leave Dean here with his normal life... without his demon-tainted little brother...
*****
Dean walked quickly down the hall, remembering at the last moment to head for the stairwell. He near flew down the flights, having to slow down at one point because he was so dizzy from the circular downward motion.
He watched the painted numbers on the doors carefully, counting down to the 4th floor tech support where he hoped to find his brother.
But just before he burst through the door marked with the number 4, he noticed a hunched figure sitting on the steps going down.
"Sam?"
*****
He missed Dean. Missed the brother Dean used to be, back when things were easy. He scoffed at the notion... Well, easier. But did Dean miss him?
"Sam?"
Would Dean even listen to him if he went back up there? Sam wasn't sure he was ready to be shut down again.
"Sammy?"
The slightly worried, questioning voice finally penetrated his thoughts. Sam looked up to see his brother crouched in front of him.
"Dean."
His brother smiled. "Yeah, Sammy. Are you okay?"
"Dean?" Sam couldn't believe his eyes. "Is it ... you remember?"
Dean sat beside Sam on the steps. "Yeah, Sam. I remember. It was the angels." He let his shoulder rest lightly against Sam's.
Sam was grateful for the contact. It hadn't completely sunk in yet that his Dean was back. "Cas?"
"No, his superior, Zachariah. Yet another righteous dictator with wings."
Sam let the comment slide, because he could detect a hint of respect amidst the frustration in Dean's tone. And he himself was plenty frustrated with the angels. "Another Uriel?"
Sam felt Dean's shoulders tighten. "About Uriel..."
"What, Dean?" he asked, turning to try to meet his brother's eyes.
Dean finally met his gaze. "He's dead."
Sam was surprised. "What happened?"
"I don't know," Dean deflected. "Cas said it was disobedience. I think maybe he was the one killing the angels."
They sat in silence to let that sink in for a moment. Sam didn't really know what to say. They had thought he was a dick, but this went far beyond that.
Dean cleared his throat and continued, "Cas said we should be careful."
Sam nodded. Then a thought occurred. "What about this Zachariah guy?"
"I think he's okay. He seems decent enough. And Cas must still trust him, or he'd have said something."
San accepted that. "Yeah, okay. But why the reality switch? What was the point of this?"
Dean shrugged uncomfortably. "Kind of a lesson I guess. Something about how I was meant to do this." He pulled at his shirt. "Convincing me that I never want to wear a suit everyday again."
Sam smiled, but then gave Dean a hard look, refusing to be distracted. "A lesson, huh? And why would they think you need a lesson?"
Dean turned away. "Who knows what any of them are thinking? Crazy winged tax accountants." He stood up from the step. "Well, I'm about ready to get out of here, how about you?"
Sam stood up to join his brother as he made his way down the stairs. "Well, yeah, but what about –"
"The car? I know. Where did those dicks leave her? I swear if there's one scratch..."
Sam just shook his head with exasperation, letting it go for now. Right now there was peace between them and if Dean didn't want to tell him about the lesson then Sam wasn't going to push. He just hoped that, whatever it was, Dean had learned it.
The End.
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