She Dreams of Rainbows, Blood and Butterfly Wings
Part 1: Hell Is Living Without You.
I own nothing of TVD. The character are all owned by L.J Smith, Julie Plec and the CW. This is purely for entertainment value.
Alright guys, this is part of my cathartic Damon/Elena program. Since it looks like Season 6 will be sadly lacking any good Delena, I'm writing a series of one shots. None of the stories will be tied to the other and should be viewed as separate fics. I decided on this one first, because I really needed to write something to see Elena's POV on why she erased Damon. Anyhow, I'll be adding to this series at least once a month and if you have any requests for some lovely D/E action-feel free to submit a request and I will do my best to bring it to life.
Okay, so this is kind of long, but I didn't want to break it up into two parts. I tried it, but it seemed to interrupt the flow of the story.
Thanks again for the support people here have shown me as a writer. You're amazing!
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The Salvatore Boarding House:
Elena parked her car outside the house. She paused as she got out of her car, the air seemed heavy and without any sounds coming from the surrounding woods, it was eerily quiet. Stefan's red Porsche was in the driveway, a good sign. However, on the not so good side, so was Damon baby-blue Camaro.
Great.
Lately she never knew what to expect with Damon. Ever since they'd opened the tomb and discovered Katherine was not waiting inside dying to be rescued, he'd been on one long binge of blood, sex and booze. She'd lost count of the dozens of sorority girls who had danced the mattress mambo in and out of Damon's bedroom over the last couple weeks.
She absolutely hated seeing him like that.
She chose not to look too closely as to why she hated it, deciding instead to chalk it up to her parents raising her with better manners and a self-respect that Damon's floozies obviously lacked! And she would have loved to put Damon's allure in a neat little pigeon hole of compulsion, but the thing was Elena had seen him pick up women, and to her continuous irritation, he only compelled them to give him their blood, not their bodies.
Why she felt so irritated by the number of Damon's bedroom partners was also something Elena simply refused to examine. And with that in mind, she pushed thoughts of the elder Salvatore away as she gave a brief knock on the huge wooden door of the boarding house. When she waited and knocked again and then waited some more…Elena became impatient. She could hear sounds within. Finally she tried the door and when it opened silently, she poked her head inside.
"Stefan? Stefan are you here?"
Her voice echoed within the large entryway and she almost turned to leave before she heard voices coming from the parlor. She stepped inside and closed the door after her. "Stefan, is that you?" she called, taking a few steps towards the great room.
She faltered when Damon sauntered into the room. "Nope…better," he quipped. Elena ordered her eyes to stay on his face, but against her will they did a quick survey of the elder Salvatore's obvious assets. He was gorgeous and she hated that he was so pretty dressed in low slung black jeans with a black button down shirt. And she might have been able to ignore his appeal, except he'd neglected to use the buttons on his shirt and it hung open, exposing his sculpted chest and amazingly chiseled abs. He had a near empty bottle of bourbon in one hand and a half filled glass in the other.
Elena winced. Fan-freaking-tastic! Drunk and half naked Damon—just what she needed!
She swallowed thickly reminding herself why she was there. "Is Stefan here?"
Damon gave her his patented half-smile. "Sorry. Baby bro is out ridding the forest of all the scary forest creatures!" He leaned in to stage whisper, "You know, I think he's on PETA's top ten most wanted list. What do you think?"
Elena made a face at his slam in regards to Stefan's feeding habits. It was obvious she didn't find it as amusing as he did. "Real funny, Damon," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
He shrugged. "I thought so."
Elena rolled her eyes heavenward so hard it was amazing she didn't rupture them. "Whatever. Let him know I came by." She turned to leave, but before she could open the door more than a crack, Damon was there, putting his palm flat against the wood and slamming it shut again.
"E-le-na," he all but purred her name in a sing-song voice, invading her personal space as he kept the door closed, preventing her from leaving, "surely you're not running away so fast."
His chest was pressed right against her back and Elena's heart rate accelerated alarmingly at his proximity, but she managed to turn and meet his cobalt gaze dead on. "I'm not running," she told him, keeping her eyes on his face and not letting them drop to his lips as she was wont to do. "I'm leaving because Stefan isn't here."
But then Damon smirked and Elena couldn't help it, her gaze drifted and she found herself staring at his lush mouth.
He noticed and exploited it with gleeful sarcasm. "Mm-hmm. I'm sure, but since I'm pretty sure he isn't going to come traipsing out of my mouth—wanna look me in the eye when you lie to me?"
Elena could have smacked him, but she chose to face him down instead—show him who he was dealing with. "You think I'm scared of you, don't you?"
Damon leaned forward, nearly brushing his lips against hers. "I know you are," he murmured, way too close for comfort.
Elena shoved him off her, putting as much strength as she could muster into it. He barely moved, but it was enough for her to regain her composure. "I'm not. Not even close," she said and strode past him, into the house.
Damon watched her turn into the parlor and grinned wickedly. Now he had her. "Said the fly to the spider..." he muttered softly. He turned the dead bolt on the door, before he swaggered in after her, eager to see where Elena's determination to brave the lion's den would lead them.
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She was standing by the wet bar, turning the bottles of alcohol in his collection and reading the labels.
"Are we going to have a repeat of Atlanta?" he asked, his grin saying loud and clear how much that plan appealed to him.
"Atlanta?" Elena turned and cocked a brow at him. "Oh, you mean where you almost get burned alive and I have to save you." She shrugged and went back to perusing his booze. "Hope not—for you at least."
Damon scowled. Figures she'd bring that up. "Ah, but the key words in that sentence is 'you saved me'. Why?" he asked and waited—actually truly curious as to why.
It was a question Elena had asked herself many times. But the answer she gave him was only part of what she knew in her heart. Damon had gotten under her skin—and she couldn't imagine a world without him in it.
She kept her back to him as she answered, afraid he'd read too much in her expression if she looked at him. "Because I didn't think you deserved to die and I see something in you that can be saved."
It was more than Damon had expected from her and for a moment, he was at a loss for words.
When he didn't make a snide remark or comment, Elena picked up a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and held it aloft. "This looks decent. What is it?"
Damon caught his breath. That was a two hundred and fifty dollar bottle of scotch. Not only was it a favorite, it wasn't the kind of booze available at the corner Gas-N-Sip. "Yeah, well that is a bottle of scotch that would take a years' worth of lunch money to pay for if you drop it." Before Elena could decide how far to push him, he blurred across the room and grabbed her wrist. "So…why don't we put that back where it belongs, hmm?"
Elena grinned. Pleased she'd finally gotten a reaction out of him. "Who's scared now?"
He set the bottle out of her reach. "I'd say touché," he returned, smirk firmly in place. "Except a healthy fear of a teenage girl not knowing the difference between Johnny Walker Blue and Black Velvet is something I simply can't be embarrassed over."
Elena shrugged. "Whatever," she said. "So, does that mean you're not going to offer me a drink?"
Damon picked up a bottle of Makers Mark, one of his favorite bourbons. "Not at all, but are you sure you want one. I mean, after Atlanta, Isn't drinking with me in violation of some kind of rule Stefan set up for you and me and us hanging out?"
Elena picked up a glass and held it out, daring him. "Stefan isn't my handler, Damon. I make my own choices, just like I've made my mistakes too."
Her words were surprising, yet refreshing. Still… "But mine are worse, right?" he said filling her glass.
"Yeah, yours are worse, Damon. Your mistakes leave people dead," she replied, taking a healthy sip of her drink. She wheezed a bit as the strong Kentucky bourbon went down her throat, burning as it settled in her stomach, but she managed to finish her glass without gagging.
Damon finished his off in one swallow and poured another glass for them both. "You don't give me a hard time because my feeding habits don't include killing off Bambi and Thumper and you know it. Your fear of me is based somewhere completely different."
Elena refused to let him intimidate her and laughed in his face. "I think I'm proving to you I'm not scared of you," she said taking a large sip of her drink. "And FYI it's not your past I find offensive, Damon. It's your present. Maybe if you didn't spend so much time trying to be an ass, you might actually be someone I could care about."
Damon was impressed and he didn't say that often. Elena Gilbert, sweet and eternally a good girl, had just downed two healthy glasses of straight up good old fashioned Kentucky bourbon and that was impressive in its own right, but she'd done so while insulting him with a wicked grin that would rival his own.
He liked it—a lot.
She cocked a brow. "I wasn't always a good girl, you know? Despite what you think of me."
Now his juices were really flowing and Damon sidled up closer to her. "Oh, don't I know it. Stefan has you pegged all wrong and I'm glad you're finally admitting it."
"What do you mean?" she asked, frowning.
"You don't want to be good, Elena."
"You don't know me, Damon."
"But I do," he teased, flaring his eyes at her in that way of his that never failed to make her pulse accelerate.
"Okay, if you know me so well, then what do I want out of life?"
In a blur of movement, he was practically on top of her. He had this and he knew it, because unlike himself, she didn't remember their first meet and greet. "You want love…" he said softly, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. "But not just any love. Oh no, nothing boring for you, Ms. Gilbert." He gave a lop-sided grin. "You want a love that consumes you. You want adventure and…" He shook his head with a small laugh, "maybe a little danger as well."
Elena stared at him as if he had suddenly grown another head from his shoulder. Her knees wobbled. No one—not another soul on this planet had ever pegged her so well! She was dumbfounded that Damon had.
She licked suddenly dry lips. "How…?" Her voice cracked and she tried again. "How did you know that?"
He shrugged, watching her intensely. She was right there. Her heart pounded and he could feel how badly she was fascinated with him. He drew out that fascination. "You have this…passion. It burns for more than this town. I see it and anyone who doesn't is a fool."
Once again, Elena felt Damon's magnetism. It tugged at her, causing her heart to race and the nerve endings in her body to fire all at once. He was sexy and perceptive. Elena wanted him and this time she didn't even try and resist. How could she? He read her like a freaking book!
As if on cue their eyes drifted to each other's mouths. Elena licked her lips, and the moment drew out into a long, sexually charged minute where they both devoured each other with their eyes.
As if realizing where this was headed, Elena started to draw back, but Damon wasn't having it.
"No," he said and wrapped a hand around Elena's neck and brought her lips to his in an explosive kiss.
It was like the fourth of July meets New Year's Eve! Sky rockets in flight and fireworks!
Their mouths crashed together, mating wildly and Elena couldn't help the moan that escaped her. Every little thing he did with his mouth was so good. She had never felt her toes curl in a kiss. That had always been the stuff of romance novels, however, all that went out the window when Damon Salvatore laid one on her.
God! The man could kiss!
Her defenses dropped even lower when he slipped his tongue into her mouth and she got a taste of him for the first time. It was like putting her tongue on a live wire of pure sugar. He tasted so sweet; delicious. And tiny shocks of wonderful electric currents raced up her spine with every sweep of his tongue. It was sheer pleasure, setting her aflame. His mouth traveled along her cheek to her ear, his tongue laved the delicate flesh there, causing her to shiver as he took the sensitive lobe between his blunt teeth and bit down, nibbling gently.
Elena gasped. Her entire body clenched with lust. Her ears were her 'magic' spot and with a needy little whine, she helplessly grabbed him by his shirt tails and yanked him to her, bringing her head up and crashing her lips to his once again.
Damon made an *oomph* sound of surprise at her aggressiveness and pulled back. He winked at her, his smile confident, just this side of cocky. "Easy sweetheart," he quipped, prying her greedy fingers off his expensive silk shirt. He loved her eagerness, but really…"You don't need to ruin a tailor-made John Vervatos to get me to kiss you."
"Don't be an ass!" Elena growled, utterly without patience at this point. Before Damon could come up with a snappy comeback, she dug her hands into his silky black locks and brought his mouth back to hers for another fierce battle of their tongues.
"Oh God!" she gasped, when he sucked her lower lip into his mouth and bit down softly.
He chuckled softly. "Call me Damon," he teased, cradling her face in his palms.
Elena thought to chastise him for that comment—planned to actually, but his magnificent baby-blues were heavy lidded with passion and she was lost in those bedroom eyes.
Damon brushed his lips against hers again and again, alternating between deep wet kisses and soft last ones as he backed her into the hall and towards the stairs. He knew where he wanted this to go and now was the time to start heading in that direction.
Elena let him lead her where he wanted as if she were hypnotized. He suddenly picked her up in his arms. In reaction, she immediately looped her own around his neck. He smiled down at her and her doe-eyed gaze drifted to his mouth. That perfect mouth. His lips were swollen, luscious and cherry pink from their kissing and Elena had never seen anything so pretty.
"You're beautiful," she whispered, totally captivated.
Damon's entire body leapt in response. She was utterly without defense right then, and to his utter shock, he had no desire to capitalize on it. He paused at the base of the stairs—his conscious warring with his desire to have her naked and under him. "Elena, we can stop right now and forget this ever happened."
Her brow scrunched into a frown and pout combined. "You don't want me?"
He laughed. "That's the most ridiculous thing you've ever said," he told her with brutal honesty. "I want you. Believe me, Elena, I want you more than you know. I was only—"
"Thinking of me," she supplied. She laid her palm on his cheek. "See, there are some redeemable qualities in you after all."
That was all it took and Damon was in the game again. He let out a low growl and slanted his mouth over hers, drugging her once again with his enticing kiss.
Elena let herself become enthralled with his mouth again. Damon's kisses were addicting. She couldn't stop tasting him. She felt high and her entire body vibrated with energy and excitement and she desperately wanted more.
To her chagrin, he pulled back, but he was out of breath and his blown out pupils and ragged breaths told the tale. He wanted her—badly. "I think…it's time to take this upstairs."
And with a burst of super speed, Damon propelled them up the stairs and in to his bedroom. More than ready now to claim Elena as his own.
He dropped her on his bed and fear shot through her. Was she ready to take her desire for him to that level? However, before she could fully analyze her emotions, the door shut with a soft click and Elena's body trembled with an odd mixture of anxiety and sheer arousal.
To give herself a minute to become acclimated, she sat up and looked around the large sparsely furnished room. It was done in dark, bold colors and stark whites. That didn't surprise her, Damon was one huge contradiction. Of course his furnishings would be all blacks and whites too. She took a minute to study his room though, because she'd never had the chance before. She'd only glanced into Damon's bedroom before, but she had always thought it suited him. His bed was huge—decadent and she had a disturbing vision of the many women before her…
Elena scooted back on the bed not liking her thoughts, yet unable to banish them.
As if sensing what she was thinking, Damon sat on the bed and wrapped a hand around her neck, he brought her close and then he kissed her. It was a tender, almost loving kiss. Elena melted into it and after a moment, Damon pulled back, his blue eyes meeting her gaze with an intensity that made Elena's stomach quiver. "You're different," he said and he thought of when he'd first blown into town. He'd planned on bringing Mystic falls to its knees. Elena had changed that plan and now it was time to tell her what she was beginning to mean to him. "After we went to Atlanta, you asked me why I didn't compel you. Do you remember what I said?"
She nodded. "Because you said you wanted it to be real."
"Exactly. And it is. What we have is real, Elena. When Katherine wasn't in that tomb…" Damon paused and he gritted his teeth. That particular pain was still fresh, but again, Elena made it better. And every day with Elena made Katherine seem like a wasted dream. Elena was a beautiful reality. "You were the first to come to me and you hugged me. You said you were sorry." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "And I know you didn't say that because you were sorry Katherine wasn't there. You said it because you were sorry I was hurting."
Elena nodded. It was true. "I hated seeing you hurt like that," she admitted.
He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I know and I'm still not sure why." He shook his head. Damon knew he'd done nothing to earn Elena's loyalty—not really, and yet she'd given it. Without question and it floored him.
"Because you want love. And I believe that somewhere inside you there's still good and all it would take to bring it out is to find the love you're searching for."
"And what about you, Elena? What do you want?"
"I thought you had me all figured out."
He brushed his lips against hers. "Oh I think I have a pretty clear idea," he teased, enjoying the way her breathing hitched when his mouth hovered next to her ear. "You want love too; a love that consumes you. A love that burns so hot, you'd want to die without it."
Elena's heart rate jacked up several notches. But she couldn't deny him. She did want that, but…"Does that even exist?"
"It can if you let it," he told her softly and settled his mouth on hers again, but this time he levered himself over her, sliding one of his thighs between her own. As they kissed, the last of her inhibitions slipped away and she opened herself to him. Damon pressed his advantage by sliding his leg forward, rubbing his jean clad thigh between her legs and giving her the friction she needed. He knew all it would take was a spark to ignite all the pent up passion within her.
And it did.
They kissed again and again, wildly, recklessly and with abandon; Elena could no longer deny she wanted him. And her wants quickly became needs and what she needed was Damon…naked. She ripped her mouth from his and sat up. "This really has to come off," she said breathlessly, pushing the open button down off his shoulders, eager to expose more of his sexy body. Her busy fingers moved on to his jeans. "And these too…"
Elena was nervous and fumbling with the buttons so Damon helped. He shrugged the shirt off and flipped open the buttons on his jeans and shimmied out of them with practiced ease. "Your turn," he said returning the favor by ripping her Henley open and tossing it aside to join his pile of clothes. The under tank and skinny jeans didn't fare any better; in moments Damon had Elena clad only in her baby blue bra and lacy boy shorts.
Wearing only his Calvin Klein's and a smile, Damon sat back on his haunches, allowing himself a moment to appreciate the beauty he'd unwrapped. He noticed Elena was doing the same. "See something you like?" he teased, his spectacular body rippling with sculpted muscle as he moved provocatively, gyrating his hips, shamelessly getting her even more worked up.
"Yes," she breathed and it was true.
She couldn't take her eyes off him. The way he moved. The way he flared his eyes at her, batting those long lashes… Elena had never seen anything or anyone so magnetic. Her eyes drank him in and the black boxer/briefs he wore left little to the imagination. Wow! She had to bite her lip to stop from moaning out loud as she took in the prominent bulge there, straining against the cotton, as if testing its durability.
He was gorgeous and she wanted to see the same hunger in his eyes that she was sure was in hers. She struck a pose, lying on her side, her palm rested on his soft comforter while her breasts surged forward, nearly spilling out of the demi-cups of her bra. "Do you?"
Damon let out a groan. "Hell yes!"
He was hanging on to his control by a thread and he wanted to take his time and really give her the full 'Damon experience', but he really—really wanted to be buried deep inside her as well…
The scent of her arousal called out to him and Damon wanted all of her. "Here goes nothing."
His conquering of Elena's body started at her feet and as he eased her onto her back, he slowly worked his way up her shapely calves, he placed wet, sensual kisses along the way, paying extra attention to behind her knees. Elena started to squirm, but he kept a firm, gentle grip on her to keep her in place, all the while whispering soft words about 'how beautiful she was' and 'how much he wanted her'. When he reached her thighs, Elena was a writhing mess—anticipation was killing her and she started to buck her hips in an effort to get him to move right in for the sweet spots, but Damon was relentless in his quest to know her inside and out. He spread her endlessly long legs wider, maneuvering himself between them until he had his head and shoulders in position. Now he had her right where he wanted and he savored the moment, taking the time to inhale the sweet fragrance of her desire before pressing his lips against the soaking wet scrap of lace that shielded her from him.
"Fuck you smell divine!"
Elena flushed to the roots of her hair. "You can smell me?" she yelped, and immediately tried to wriggle away.
Damon chuckled wickedly, his hands tightening in her thighs, keeping her in place. "Vampire. I can smell a drop of blood in the water like a shark, lover. Key word here is divine—you smell delicious, Elena, and I can't wait to see if you taste as sweet."
Damon didn't give her a chance to dissuade him, he slipped her shorts down her legs and managed to tuck them away in the drawer beside his bed without ever leaving his spot between Elena's thighs. "Yeah, those are mine," he said, giving her a teasing smirk.
For one breathtaking moment, his eyes met Elena's, and then he licked his lips, slowly, decadently, she only had a moment to prepare herself before his mouth was on her. And Oh God! It was well worth the wait. Elena let out a deep moan of appreciation as his clever tongue went to work on her, finding all her pleasure zones and manipulating them to give her the utmost in sensory ecstasy. Every single flick and glide of his tongue, every nibble of his lips triggered a barrage of delight as he drove her higher and higher, leading her right to the edge delirium and keeping her there trapped between nirvana and purgatory. Hell, because she wanted what his mouth promised so badly she thought she might die if he didn't give it to her, and heaven, because surely the definition of the word could be found upon Damon's tongue.
"Please…" she begged, gripping his dark locks between her desperate fingers and pressing him to her.
Damon didn't disappoint. He directed his attention towards her clitoris, that small bundle of nerves that drove every woman mad, and with nimble fingers and his delicious mouth, he quickly brought her to his side of heaven. And Elena went off with a bang! She buried her hands in his hair and screamed her gratitude as her body convulsed with wave after wave of the most intoxicating rapture. It washed over her, radiating outward from between her legs, from her very core and tingled along every nerve ending until it drained out her hopelessly curled fingers as well as her toes.
With a smile that could only be called cocky and well pleased with himself, Damon slithered up her body. "Like I said…delicious," he said, smacking his lips.
Elena flushed and looked away, but Damon wouldn't let her turn from him. He buried his hand in her hair, his thumb tracing her cheekbone as he brought her gaze back to his. "Are you for real—or just a spectacular dream?"
Elena frowned. "I don't know what you mean?" Tonight did seem like some amazing fantasy, but what she was feeling for Damon was all real. 100% on the level and she didn't want him to think otherwise. She lifted her head and kissed him, blushing again when she could taste herself on his lips. "It's real, Damon. I'm real and I want this."
His smile was lazy this time, not cocky, just genuinely happy. He gave her several heated kisses as he positioned himself between her legs, just barely pressing against her entrance, before he paused and reared back to look down at her face. Their eyes met, blue colliding with brown, and in that moment time and space just seemed to melt away. This was something big and they knew it.
Damon tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and (because he couldn't seem to stop) he smiled again, "I think I could fall in love with you, Elena Gilbert," he said softly, almost reverently.
And Elena wanted to reply, she started to, but before she could, he was sliding inside her, filling her and cutting off any intelligible words she might have formed. He consumed her, moving inside her with such delectable force, she was lost—utterly captivated by the promise of another trip to heaven within his arms.
Her nails raked his back, causing Damon to hiss as she scored his flesh and drew blood. His vampire senses sat up and took notice at the smell of blood, but he kept himself under control—barely. Being inside her was like walking on water and tasting heaven. And Damon knew she would be the closest thing he ever got to either.
He hooked her leg higher on his hip and gave her what she wanted—thrusting into her, making her his—and somehow, even though he never expected it—making love to her.
Elena felt every single inch of the love he was sharing and then some. "Oh God! Damon…please." With every stroke he gave, excitement raced through her, making her head spin as that same feeling of imminent joy started to slither within her body. The way he drove into her, hitting a spot within Elena she'd never known existed, it was mind boggling—the pleasure he gave her. She wanted more. She wanted him to go deeper—harder—take her and make her his so entirely, she'd never forget what he felt like inside her.
"Fuck me, Damon. Fuck me hard. Please!" she whispered into his ear, taking a little nibble at the sensitive lobe and sliding her tongue along the shell.
Her words were like pouring gasoline on a raging inferno—Damon exploded in a frenzy of lust and desire. He reared back and sitting on his heels and pulling her with him until she was in his lap. He grabbed her by the nape of the neck and buried his hand in the back of her hair, tugging her head back so he could see her face. "You want me to fuck you, baby?"
Normally Elena would have cringed at the crude word, but she was so turned on, hearing him say it only made her hotter. She nodded vehemently, digging her nails into his shoulders this time. "Please."
"Fuck!" Damon cursed and drove himself upwards, thrusting into her with hard, fast strokes that quickly had them both racing towards the finish line.
He'd wanted it to last longer, but Elena made him crazy and he knew he was in far deeper with this girl than he'd ever imagined.
Elena was just as deep. Everything he did to her was magic and it seemed all she could do was hang on and moan her appreciation as he (finally) gave them both what they'd (secretly) wanted since first laying eyes on each other.
And it didn't take long.
Damon was so-so close, but he refused to go over that cliff without her going first. He gripped her hips, clutching her to him as he swiveled his hips, working his body in a way that would give her the most pleasure. One hand slid between their driving bodies and he found her pleasure button, with a few tweaks of his nimble fingers, Elena was at ground zero, right along with him.
He groaned with pleasure when he felt her body lock up. She pulled away, whipping her hair back and her doe eyes met his, flaring hot. He wrapped a hand around her neck and pulled her to him for a kiss just as her entire body shuddered. Her moan was swallowed up by his kiss, but her body signaled its release in other ways and Damon let out a harsh groan as the tightening and pulsing of her inner walls around him triggered his own orgasm.
His head fell back and Elena collapsed on his chest while he gasped her name, holding her tight as he spilled himself within her.
Later…
Damon was lying in his huge bed with Elena curled up at his side. The sheet was draped over them haphazardly, barely covering their nude bodies and her head was resting on his chest. He was running his hand through her hair while she explored the tiny treasure trail of hair under his navel with the tips of her fingers. They were both quiet, both utterly blissed out, but a little blown away at the fire they'd shared in bed together.
Not to mention, there was some nervousness too. Where did they go from here?
"Damon?" she finally whispered.
"Mmmm," he replied.
"Did you mean what you said?"
Damon's brows furrowed. His first reply was 'which part?' but he had a feeling that was not at all what she wanted to hear and then he remembered what he'd said right before he'd taken her. He started to say yes, but having been burned once, Damon was twice shy to be bitten again, so instead he hedged his bet and played it safe. "Do you want me to mean it?"
Elena leaned up on one elbow so she could see him. "I honestly don't know. What I feels for you scares me. I tell myself I should probably run the other way right now as fast and as far as possible, but I can't."
He ran his hands up her back, calming her. "Why?"
She brushed his hair back, smiling because this was the real Damon. He looked so young and sweet, but for as adorable as he could be, she knew there was a darkness in him as well that could explode at a moments' notice. Elena knew she was already in way over her head—why bother looking for a life preserver now?
"Because there's something about you, Damon. Something good and even if you don't want to admit it. I see it and I think you're the one—the love that will consume me—the love I can't live without and even though I'm terrified to give my heart to you." She swallowed thickly, a tear slipping down her cheek as she brushed her lips against his. "I'm even more scared not to."
Damon wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "I would never hurt you, Elena. Believe me."
She laid her head back on his chest and the slow, but steady rhythm of his heart lulled her towards a peaceful slumber. Right before Morpheus came to take her into dreamland, Elena placed a kiss on Damon's chest and hugged him. "I'm going to hold you to that promise," she whispered.
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Whitmore Dorm:
Elena awoke with a start, heart pounding. She reached out for Damon, but he was sitting at the end of her bed, out of her reach.
"What just happened? Why did you make me dream that?"
He smiled sadly. "Elena, baby. I can't make you dream anything anymore. I'm only here because you won't let me go."
Elena pulled her knees to her chest. "I can't."
"You have to, sweetheart."
She buried her face in her knees and shook her head. "No!"
"Elena…"
Her head snapped up and she leveled accusing eyes on him. "You broke your promise! You told me you'd never hurt me. You promised you'd never leave me, but now you're gone and all I feel is hurt. I can't take it anymore. I'm lost without you, Damon."
"I'm sorry, baby. I never wanted this," he said sadly and with those words he started to fade.
Elena panicked when his image went hazy. "Wait! I didn't mean it! Please don't go."
But his handsome face dissolved before her eyes and no matter how hard she struggled to hold on, he slipped away from her once again—just like he always did. Hot tears raced down her cheeks and her chest heaved. She couldn't catch her breath and her grief so great she nearly suffocated with it.
She couldn't deal with this. She just couldn't. She missed Damon so badly it felt like her heart was literally crumbling in her chest. Every night they had a different experience, sometimes he just held her, other times he brought her back to somewhere in their past. She so easily remembered when Damon had been lost after freaking Katherine had burned him so badly. If only she'd been more honest with herself and listened to her instincts; she'd felt the connection with Damon long before she ever came close to admitting it.
Elena fell back on her bed, and curled up on her side into a fetal position. Her crying turned into gut-wrenching sounds of a pain so deep, they literally made her heave with it. She'd wasted so much time. Time she could have had with him. Time she could have spent loving him rather than fighting the growing attraction between them.
What a stupid, selfish little coward she'd been!
When she had no more tears left to shed and her awful sobs had turned into whimpers and hiccups that sapped her energy and left her empty inside, Elena lay there for a moment as she pondered eternity without him. What was she going to do She hadn't lost anyone she loved (not since her parents) without Damon there to help her through it and now she'd lost Damon.
It was too much. She simply did not know how to function without him.
And she wouldn't. With a deep breath of renewed determination, she rolled over in bed and picked up her phone. Her clock glowed red and urgent, pretty much shouting at her it was four AM. But that wasn't going to stop her. She flipped through her contacts until she found his name. For a brief second her thumb hovered as she debated making the call, but then she thought of facing a day—any day without Damon.
It wasn't an option and so she hit the send button.
He owed her.
The line rang three times before a groggy voice on the other end picked up. "Elena, do you even know what time it is?"
"Yeah and I'm really sorry for calling so late." Elena had learned early in life you get more flies with sugar than vinegar, just as she'd learned men generally crumbled under her tears, so she didn't bother to hide the utter sorrow that invaded the very marrow of her bones day in and day out. "I need more of the herb, Luke. I can't take the pain. It hurts…so bad."
"Elena…"
"Please, you don't understand, when I can see him, I'm okay. He was here tonight and I have to have him back. Can you bring me some more? Please Luke, you know I wouldn't ask if I didn't really need it."
Luke Parker ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair and sat up in bed. He knew what he was doing was wrong. The herbs he gave her were allowing her to live in fantasy land which made her deny reality, but the guilt was killing him. She had him and she knew it. He let out a sigh. "I'll be right over."
"Great! I'll leave my door unlocked," she said, her voice chipper now that she knew she'd be getting what she needed.
Luke dragged himself out of bed and gathered a couple days' worth of Elena's special brand of drugs. She was a mess and one day she'd have to face facts, the love of her life was dead and gone. However, (thankfully) the task of forcing reality on her wouldn't fall on him and it wouldn't be tonight.
The End
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Okay, so just a little Delena smut to tide the fans over because it looks like Season 6 will be utterly lacking in it. I'm so torn about them, I love Damon/Elena, but I was so mad about her decision to erase him. I've had several people point out her pain, but since they didn't really show it in much detail on the show…this was my way of trying to deal with what Elena might have been like and possibly see his death from her perspective.
Still not too happy with her choice, but this was kind of cathartic. Hope you enjoyed it.
Reviews are love people. :)