Freed Justine, devoted captain and designated errand boy of the Raijinshuu, carefully inspected the head of lettuce in his hands. He scowled, noticing a fairly large brown blemish near the bottom, sighed, and placed it back in the pile. That had been the fifth one he had picked out. It shouldn't be this hard to find fresh vegetables.
As he picked up another one, he heard a distinct "hmph" from behind. "Pick one," Laxus said tersely. "We've been standing in the produce area for ten minutes while you nitpick over cabbage."
"Lettuce," Freed corrected. "And unless you want half rotten vegetables for dinner, let me do my job."
Laxus "tsked," said something about finding Bixlow, and stalked away. Freed sighed. This is why he always did the grocery shopping alone. He took his time carefully planning out meals for the week and spent an equal amount of time finding quality ingredients. (Laxus deserved only the best of course!) For some reason unkown, Laxus and Bixlow had decided they would tag along with Freed on his weekly outing to the supermarket.
At first, Freed had been a little apprehensive about bringing the two mages with him – especially Bixlow, but Freed thought that maybe if they saw just how much effort he put into feeding them, they would appreciate their captain more. Freed should have known that he was getting his hopes up. Sighing again, he placed a perfectly round, green head of lettuce in his shopping basket. From his coat pocket, he took out a small notepad, flipped to the first page where he had neatly written out his grocery list, and marked out lettuce, tomatoes, carrots and cucumbers.
"Ah, still within my budget too," Freed said to himself smugly.
As he returned the list to his pocket, Bixlow came skipping up, his five barrel dolls floating behind him.
"No," Freed said before Bixlow could say anything.
"I haven't asked anything yet," Bixlow pouted.
Freed pointed at the bags of junk food that his teammate could barely hold in his arms. "We're not buying those. Put them back."
"Why not? You never get the good stuff. That's why me and Laxus came with you this time. All you buy is health nut food. It's gross."
Ah, and the reason had finally revealed itself. Suddenly in a sour mood, Freed growled, "It's not in our budget. Put it back."
"Tsk, fine. You're no fun, Freed." Bixlow turned and walked back to the junk food aisle, his dolls trailing behind him, repeating, "No fun Freed!" in their high pitched voices.
"Why do I even try?" Freed asked himself before turning down the organic and gluten free aisle. He was just trying to keep his team healthy after all. Evergreen didn't mind Freed's latest health food kick, since it "helped to enhance her womanly figure." To that, Bixlow had replied, "Oh, so you can look sexy for Ellllfffffmmmmaaaaaannnnnn?" At that comment, Evergreen had turned bright red, sputtered something about things to do and left.
After collecting his gluten free bread and organic cereal with extra-fiber (buy one get one free at that), Freed headed toward the dairy aisle. As he passed the candy and magazines, he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks. Laxus stood a few feet away, reading what appeared to be a porn magazine, judging by the half naked woman on the cover. Even under the harsh glare of fluorescent lights, Laxus looked like the Thunder God after which his bodyguards were named. From his spikey yellow hair and handsome face to the well-trained muscular physique that his tight clothing couldn't completely hide, Laxus could very well be a god: a god that Freed could only dream of calling his own. A lump formed in Freed's throat as he looked at the man he loved and most desperately wanted, but could never have. Almost as if he could feel Freed's gaze, Laxus looked up from the article he was reading.
Seeing Freed's expression, Laxus' eyes softened a little. "What's wrong, Freed?" he asked, a hint of concern touching his voice.
Before Freed could reply, someone yelled behind him, "LAXUS! FIGHT ME!" A pink and black blur pushed Freed aside and sped toward the thunder dragon slayer.
Laxus had enough time to sigh in exasperation before backhanding Natsu into the shelves on the other side of the aisle, spilling candy all over the floor. Natsu got up, wiped his chin and grinned. "I'm all fired up now! I'm gonna beat you this time for sure!"
"Idiot, this isn't the place to –" Before Laxus could finish his sentence, Natsu swung a fire-engulfed fist at Laxus' head. Dodging effortlessly, Laxus landed a lightning enhanced punch to the Salamander's gut, making him double over. Natsu recovered quickly, following up with a kick that made contact with Laxus' right side. This only aggravated Laxus more, electricity leaking from his skin and eyes.
"Natsu!" a feminine voice yelled. Freed turned to see his guild mate, Lucy, running toward the fight, a look of horror on her face. Natsu didn't seem to hear his best friend and continued to throw punches at an increasingly angry Laxus. "For God's sake, I can't bring him anywhere!" she huffed.
"Ooh, a fight?" Bixlow popped up behind Freed and Lucy, causing the latter to jump a foot in the air in fright. Bixlow's dolls circled the two dragon slayers, repeating, "Fight! Fight!" excitedly. Amidst the hoard of fleeing customers, the shop keeper stood frozen in horror as he watched his store literally go up in smoke.
The power flickered then went completely out as Laxus gathered his magic to pummel Natsu into the ground, the only light provided by the multitude of fires Natsu had started. Laxus landed his blow perfectly, sending Natsu flying into the magazine shelf and ultimately knocking the entire shelving unit down, which started a chain of dominoes. Lucy and the storekeeper watched in disbelief, hands clutched on both sides of their heads, as each shelf knocked the next one down.
Among the combined scents of burning sugar, plastic, and paper, Bixlow's manic laughter and the shopkeeper yelling at Laxus, Freed just pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers and sighed. Picking up his groceries, Freed walked up to the shopkeeper, silently handed him more than enough money to cover his groceries, grabbed Laxus' arm and left, Bixlow close behind. Yes, this was exactly why he went grocery shopping alone.