Hey guys, it's been a while & yes this is a new fic... Oops. I just had a random moment of inspiration and couldn't stop writing. It's short, should only have a couple of small chapters, not sure about exactly where it's going yet. Extremely dark themes & possible triggers. Set in and after season 10 episode 11 'There's no place like home.' It might be terrible but I'll let you make your own mind up on that one... Enjoy :) xxx

Why don't you just go ahead and do it?

You've been toying with the idea for ages now, never quite the right time, always reasons to put it off, people you'd be letting down, people that need you.

Well look at what you did to her, to Charlie, the little sister you never wanted, never needed, look at what you did.

She's covered in bruises, probably won't be right for weeks. She's still smiling that same old sup bitches smile, like always, but somehow it's... Different. Broken. You've broken her Dean, just like you break everybody that gets close.

Of course you did.

'Arrivederci bitches!' And with that she's gone, off chasing a probably pointless lead, still trying to help, still caught up in this mess. And of course it's your fault, you got her into this in the first place, nearly got her killed, now almost killed her yourself.

'You good?'

I bite back every sarcastic response I come up with, Charlie still heavy on my mind. 'No.'

'She's right Dean. You can do this. We can do this.'

I could argue, tell him how wrong he is, that I can't be fixed, but I don't see the point. 'Then let's get to work.'

Sammy heads straight back to the even dwindling pile of books on demons, on Lucifer, a couple on Cain but nothing really substantial there, but I head in the other direction, to my room. It's still weird, actually having a room, some place to call my own. This bunker has given me that at least, somewhere that's mine, somewhere to think.

Not shaking for once, need for violence, need to destroy, need to kill, sated, at least temporarily. The Mark is only getting stronger, and with it the voice in the back of my head, whispering violence and hatred, always. We're running out of resources, ideas, hope. Eventually you'll snap again Dean, you know you will, and who you gonna hurt next time? Sammy? Cas?

No, never, I would never-

Charlie's face, bleeding, broken, because of me, I can still see it so clearly in my mind, etched behind my eyes like a warning. Who next?

No one will be able to stop you, they'll try to 'save' you, but we both know that ain't gonna work. So you'll go dark side again, and how many innocent people will die this time Dean? Hundreds? Thousands? Will you go back for Charlie, try to finish the job? How much would Sammy fight back? Would he even try to defend himself? Cas will use up his diminishing Grace trying to save you, stop you, is that what you want?

'No.' It comes out as a chocked whisper & I'm just glad no one was there to hear it.

Then you know what to do.

Hope it wasn't too awful. I imagine there are a lot of questions, but all (or at least most) shall be revealed, and soon. *Insert shameless self promotion of my other fics here*. Until next time :) xxx