Credit for the headcanon goes to holybatgirlz on Tumblr. I own nothing!
Rain poured from the sky in torrents, adding a morbid feel to the already dire fight below the gray sky of Gotham City.
The Batfamily was in the middle of a battle with a hoard of bloodthirsty zombies at the moment. Yeah, not too appealing. They were surrounded on all sides, trapped in the middle of the abandoned Gotham street as they fought for their lives. They had skill on their side, but the sheer number of opponents put them at a disadvantage.
All of the Robins and Batgirls were there. Tim, Stephanie, Cass, Damian, Barbara, and Dick all fought the hundreds of undead monsters on the ground, while Jason happily shot them down from on top of a nearby UPS truck. Every few minutes one could hear his excited shouts and whoops as he took advantage of the opportunity to be allowed to shoot somewhere other than legs and shoulders. Killing zombies really agreed with him.
Somewhere among the rooftops, Batman was currently in mid-battle with Solomon Grundy, the man who had sent the army in the first place. It was all part of an elaborate plan to destroy Gotham City and give himself all of the power, but he unfortunately hadn't expected the entire Batfamily to join in the fight. Even Batwoman, Bluebird, and Batwing were helping out three streets over.
Luckily the entire area had been evacuated, which proved helpful when the majority of the vigilantes had been forced to abandon their masks in favor of a better range of sight.
Dick and Barbara were smack in the middle of it all, back to back and fighting with everything they had. Dick flung a batarang at a zombie that was a little too close to Barbara for his comfort, realizing that this might not end well for them if they kept having so many close calls.
He ducked, narrowly avoiding a flying brick one monster had thrown. Too close. Way too close. He didn't know if he or the rest of his family would make it out of this alive, but he did know that he was glad to have Babs by his side. If there was anyone he'd want to spend his last hours with in the middle of a bloody battle, it was his girlfriend. He ducked under an incoming fist, thinking on it more. Girlfriend. Now that he thought about it, he didn't love the sound of that so much anymore. She didn't feel like his girlfriend. More like "other half", or something much more binding.
Maybe it was because of the adrenaline, maybe because he was just as romantic and flighty as everyone said. But he didn't want to call Barbara only his girlfriend anymore. She felt like so much more than that, like a piece to a jigsaw puzzle. It takes a while to unite the pieces, but once they were together you realize they should have been there from the start. She completed him.
He had been planning on proposing soon, but he'd just been a little distracted by the impending doom and all lately. He even bought her a ring two months ago. He had it skillfully hidden in the back of his sock drawer in a small velvet box. He originally thought about asking a few days after this whole Grundy thing blew over, but what if he never got the chance?
"Ha ha, die you pile of filth!", he heard Jason yell gleefully from above them as he shot a zombie in the head. "I'm a way better zombie than you are!", he shouted in triumph.
Barbara rolled her eyes. "He sure is chipper in the face of death, isn't he?", she muttered to Dick over her shoulder.
Dick shrugged and kicked another zombie, sending it flying back and knocking down two more. "Been there done that, I guess."
Babs quickly threw a batarang at one zombie, which effectively decapitated it. She made a disgusted face as the now headless body rose again, still intent on reaching the heroes. "Yikes", she cringed. "There's an image I'll never get out of my head. I don't think this will end well, Hunk Wonder."
Dick thought for a moment before yelling over his shoulder, "Hey, babe?"
"Yeah?", she shouted back.
She turned her head around to see one zombie approaching Dick's blind spot, and she quickly flipped over his back, grabbing the creature's torso with her legs and slamming it to the ground. Dick pulled her up and, looking deeply into her blue eyes, whispered, "Marry me, Babs."
Barbara's eyebrows lifted in shock, but furrowed again when a zombie ran at Dick with a long metal pipe. She flung a nearby manhole cover, knocking the zombie down in seconds.
"I really doubt now is the best time for this, Dick!"
Dick punched a zombie and kicked another one to the ground. "Now might be our only time for this!" A swift elbow into one zombie's unsuspecting face.
"Yeah, but-"
"But nothing." He grabbed her shoulders, making her face him. "Even if we do make it out if this, I still know that the second it's over I'm going to take you to the nearest chapel and marry you right then and there. So why not do it now, where even if we both get our faces ripped off by evil dead guys, I'll still go out knowing I get to be your husband."
Barbara was speechless, her eyes glistening softly despite the intense situation they were now in. For a split second she was distracted by the love and care he expressed with every word of his speech, and she nearly missed a car tire as it was thrown inches from her head. Dick remained focused.
"What do you say, Babs? Want to marry me before we both inevitably get eaten by zombies?" A loud thud was heard as he smacked a zombie down with his escrima stick.
Barbara laughed as she sent another uppercut. "Sure, it's not like there's anything else I have to do right now", she teased, flashing him a dazzling smile.
Dick remembered that one truth or dare night they had at the manor a month ago, and he silently thanked his lucky stars that Tim dared Jason to get ordained on some church website. "Hey, Hood!", he yelled over the thunderous growls and moans that surrounded them.
Jason shot a few more zombies on the ground and kicked one of the dozen that had climbed onto the truck he stood on. "What?"
"Marry us!"
Jason grunted as he threw a zombie to the ground, where Dick slammed it against the pavement. "I'm kind of busy right now, Dickiebird!"
Barbara threw a pair of bolas at the legs of another zombie. "Jason, now!"
Jason sighed and said, "Ugh, fine." With a dramatic hand on his chest he announced loudly, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to-" He was cut off by a hand around his throat, to which he turned and shot his attacker through the jaw.
Dick encountered a similar problem below when one had him by both arms and tried pulling him back. Barbara grabbed its arm and twisted it, flipping the zombie over and finally kicking it across the street.
Dick grabbed her arm and pulled her close, speaking with rushed words. "Barbara Gordon, do your take me to be your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for the short while that we will continue living?"
She smiled and grabbed his hand, kicking a zombie through a glass storefront window. "I do!" A zombie ran at them both, brandishing a long sword.
Dick grabbed her other hand and swung her around, watching her slam her legs into the creature and sending it flying back, though she quickly grabbed its sword as it fell, knowing it might come in handy. She stepped close to Dick again, her back pressed against his chest. "And do you, Dick Grayson-" A slice through one zombie's arm. "Take me to be your wife? To have and-"
She ducked, still holding Dick's hand as a zombie was thrown from a roof. "Blah blah blah, vows and stuff."
Dick laughed and struck one zombie in the neck with an escrima stick. "I do", he answered breathlessly.
Jason flipped over a zombie, kicking it into another midair. "Then with the power vested in me by Tim's crappy dare and some supposedly legit website, I now pronounce you-... Die you piece of undead garbage!", he yelled, firing rounds into a nearby zombie.
Dick still held Barbara's hand in his firm grip, using his free hand to grab the arm of one zombie and throw the monster to her, where she kicked it to the ground and stabbed her new weapon through its middle.
"Man and wife!", Jason announced. "You may now kiss-" A grunt as he was hit from behind. He shot a few bullets into its head.
"You may kiss-" He threw one zombie, knocking four others down like dominoes.
"Just kiss!"
Needing no further encouragement, Dick pulled Barbara to him, dipping her low and tangling his fingers in her wet red hair. He ducked his head to her level and smiled, pressing their lips together with enough force and finality to knock her breathless.
In that moment they were alone. No zombies to fight, no impending doom, nothing but Dick and Barbara, husband and wife. They kissed one another passionately, the pouring rain falling on their faces from above and drenching them completely. They stayed like that for mere seconds, but it felt like an eternity to them.
Jason whooped from above, making the others turn to see the two lovebirds kissing in the midst of their life-threatening battle. Tim and Cass smiled softly at the sight, while Damian rolled his eyes at their lack of professionalism. As suddenly as they were distracted, they snapped back to their previous tasks, not wasting any time on wondering why Dick and Babs thought this was a good time for romance.
Finally the new spouses separated, breathing deeply with exhaustion and grinning like idiots. After a time spent relishing in the moment they returned to fighting, acting as though they hadn't just felt their hearts become complete all at once.
Xxxxxxxxxx
"And that's why you weren't invited to our wedding", Dick explained, sitting in an armchair in the living room at Wayne Manor, Barbara perched contentedly in his lap with her arms around his neck.
It was the day after their impromptu wedding, and everyone was enjoying some well deserved relaxation in the living room. Luckily they had won the fight, and there had been no complications or casualties to worry about besides a bunch of double dead zombies littered around the street. Grundy was locked up, his zombie army was destroyed, and Dick and Barbara were now happily married.
Bruce, however, was most definitely not as happy everyone else was. He crossed his arms grumpily, still bitter about not being able to see his oldest son during his big moment. "I was literally right on top of the next building over. All you had to do was call me and I could have at least leaned over the edge of the roof to see."
Dick simply laughed and placed a tender kiss on the back of Barbara's head, still giddy with joy at finally being married to the greatest girl in the whole world. Bruce can complain all he wants, but Dick knows for sure that no matter what, their wedding could not have been any better if they tried.