I Know
By: KitKat411
Author's Notes: Don't run with scissors.
A "companion" to "I Believe," but with Light's monologue. This time, I was listening to Linkin' Park's "Points of Authority." I don't know what it is with LP and me, but it always brings out the best-or worst, depending-in me. Spoilers for L's real name.
L L L L L L L L L L L L
There are many things in this world that are beautiful. Autumn leaves, a child's first smile, the shine of the geese's wings as they fly through the moonlight's shimmering glow. These are things in this world that have not been yet touched with evil, that still glimmer with the misty dew of innocence and light.
As children, I know, we grow up surrounded by a world of hatred, in a world sprinkled with pain. The adults in our lives try to hide the suffering, try to cover up the every-day tragedies of life. Tooth pains are solved by the Tooth Fairy, strangers breaking in are explained away by Prince Charming, and thunderstorms are "angels crying" and "children going bowling, honey".
Still, there is only so much anguish that can be shielded from the youth. We are raised where selfishness, lying, and intentional cruelty run rampant. So often are children insecure that they turn to bullying for comfort. How often is one young boy excluded from the playground, just so his peers can feel better about themselves? Who among the population has not been the bully, the bullied, or the bystander?
Yes, even from our playground years, evil envelopes us. And as we grow ever-older, the injustices grow worse. Musicians are scorned for singing "classical" songs, yet rappers are hailed world-wide for singing about their "pimpin' whores." The violence is everywhere-the television, the radio, the video games…Yes, in the world we grow up in, brutality is glorified. War is praised. A child in Tokyo selling belts for cancer is not mentioned in the news, yet a feared serial killer is the featured story on every news station.
Good deeds are expected from people, and so are not "special" or "news-worthy."
But in the world we live in, are "good" deeds really the norm?
I know that what I am doing is right. I know that I am right, that the world will eventually bow down to me. I am "special" and "news-worthy." In a world of crimes committed solely for hate, I am the exception.
So why will you not see this? Can you not hear the people cheering? Can you not see the cult of personality in support of the God of the new world! They cheer for "Kira." Kira, they call. Kira, judge the world! Bring justice to the world! Restore peace to the people, Kira! Rule with a firm hand so that we may have a bright future.
Listen to them cheer. Read the websites. You spend so much of your time focused on the "method to my madness." I've seen you, there, sitting in your foolish little ball, hand in your mouth, staring at the television as if it was a cake you wished to eat. You sit there in your infuriating little ball, thumb holding up your mouth. And you accuse Kira of being childish. "Kira is childish and hates to lose." You, who sits like a baby and sucks his thumb.
You watch and watch, L, and yet, you do nothing. You think that, just by watching me, you will find "it." That one clue, the proof, the one piece of evidence that will condemn Light Yagami as the feared serial killer "Kira."
Well, L, guess what? You'll never find a clue. I covered my tracks from the very beginning. I have managed to create an illusion for you, L. I spun you a web of lies, a web of deceit. Then, just as a spider reels in his prey, you were reeled into my trap. All I had to do was wait for you to be stuck in my web, caught in the snare of my lies and your un-provable suspicions.
Yes, you were my helpless prey. There was no chance for your survival. You were a fine opponent, but I was better. I will always be better than you, than the police, than whomever I am faced with.
So yes, L, you are damned. You are damned by God-by Kira himself. You had a chance, in the beginning. I was willing to let you go, let you walk away, shaken, but alive. You could have lived. You could have just simply gone along with your life, selecting your favorite cases as you select which calorie-filled morsel to consume next. I would have forgiven you, L. I would have forgiven your sins, your disobedience against the God of the new world.
But you never tried to clean your transgressions. You never saw reason. You were never able to see that I was right, that Kira was exactly what the world needs.
"Our Lord, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name."
That's all you had to say, L. Just surrender to the inevitable victory of Kira. Admit that the high and mighty L was flawed. That even the greatest detective in the world bowed down and recognized Kira's dominance.
"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven."
And so, this shall come to pass, L. Kira will win this "war," no matter what must be done. I will cross over to the other side, the line that separates the great men from the legends. "L"-the "greatest detective in the world"-is simply a man. A twenty-five year old who still sucks his thumb. "Light Yagami" is simply a boy. An admirably studious child, yes, but ordinary. Not particularly worth remembering.
"Kira," however, will life forever. "Kira" is a legend; he is worth remembering.
"Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation…"
See, L? Can you not see? I would have forgiven you. I would have welcomed someone with your intellect, wealth, and logical skill. I could have used you on my "team," on my "side" in this battle of good and evil.
But no, L, you were led into temptation. You were tempted by that pesky thing you consider to be your morals. You assumed that, simply because Kira did not agree with L, Kira was wrong. You did not see the big picture, L. You did not see the good in the power of Kira. Instead, you were tempted, tempted by the interest level of this case. You were tempted because this case, this person who dared to disagree with L's "standard of justice," was interesting to you.
And look where it led you, L! Instead of living, you will not survive. You will not live to see your next birthday. You will die unfinished, unwanted, and utterly alone. No one mourns the wicked, L. You dared to stand in the way of Kira's supremacy, of Kira's rule! You committed the ultimate sin, L: You dared to challenge Kira. You stood up to God, L.
And for that, you will pay. You will be left alone, for good, left in a back alley on the highway of life. You will be buried and forgotten, for no one knows who you truly are. No one ever even knew your name. You were unknown, unnecessary, useless to everyone, L. No one will know who you are, L, I will make sure of that. I promise you, L, no one will ever remember L, the "greatest detective in the world." No one will lay lilies on your grave. You will be scorned in death just as you were mistrusted in life. No one knew who you were in life and no one will know who you were in death.
This, L, is my last promise to you.
"…But deliver us from evil."
I tried, L. You were my friend, I was not lying. A person with my intellect, with excellent logic and deductive reasoning skills? I tried to turn you to the light, L.I wanted to deliver you from evil, from your stubborn set of morals. I tried to show you the one true way, the way of Kira, the way that would reign in the end.
But you refused, and now, there is nothing left for us to say or do. You've made your choices, L, and I have made mine. We have set out our pawns, played our knights, battled our queens, and finally, you have been cornered. Checkmated. You've lost, L, and there is no way you can escape from this web I've finally ensnared you in.
Good bye, L Lawliet.
"Amen."